Rainbow Babies. Making it through the storm, missing our Angels, loving and hoping for Rainbows.

Just a very quick wave to everyone as off out to do shopping.....

Today is six months since we held Merryn and said goodbye. Love you my girl, I wish you were here with me. Xx

Hope you are having a fun day phebs and angel xx

elly holding your hand, lovie. You've got this far. You CAN do it, you'll manage to wait if you have to. Lots of love xx

Huge huge love to miasmum and family today...

And still sending lots of love and hugs to green of course too. This just really sucks for you, doesn't it, it's just AWFUL. So hoping things will happen naturally for you, as you want ('want'). Going through the general hideousness of an ERPC now is to be avoided if poss, I quite agree.

Happy 1st Birthday to Phebs!! Have a lovely day, special little girl...

How is Holly today wtw? Poor girl, with an exploding tummy. So so hope she's feeling better.

spilt thank you for the apology, bless you, but really no need. I definitely don't expect everyone on here to remember every little thing I've ever written! I am pretty stressed out by the news, tbh, so am just giving myself some quiet days to recover a little. Our clinic has good stats, but we don't know how well I'd respond to the drugs... I guess we'll see.

Much love to all xx

Happy Birthday Pheobe!!! I hope you are enjoying the day angel.

Green, I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this again - I just hope that it happens quickly and naturally for you, with as little pain as possible xxx

mias, you are so strong, I'm pleased that you & MrMias got a chance to talk about your girl and with everyone listening to you xxx Thinking of you so much xxx

blizy, how that the doc said that DH's results were ok, and now they have come back with low motility - I hope that the written results give you a bit more to go on. Are there things that can improve it?

Yay for 23 weeks moomins, that's great news - countdown now on for 29 weeks eh?

Amy, kleine, fan, how are you all doing?

My scan is next Thursday morning, and I'm absolutely bricking it. I'm terrified that it will show a MMC - I don't know if I can wait another week.

I know what you meant Angel..... I'm waiting on MC while planning a birthday party.... 'normal' just isn't normal anymore. When I had my first MC it floored me, now it just seems almost predictable, and part of my life... Hopefully this will be the last time!!
Sounds like PHEOBE is having love showered on her, as she should! Enjoy your day.... A year a go today you gave birth to her, so it should be your day too, I think!!

Don t mean to sound flippant just re-read the end of my message. Just meant life is so odd at times xxxx

Thanks xxxx she's had lovely cards & presents it makes me realise how we'll loved our rainbow babies are ( as our angels are too) xxxx
Green remember that waiting / willing for a mc to start its horrible... my first MMC was diagnosed at the scan at 12 weeks, had died at 8 weeks I had medical management was awful. Took about 6 weeks in total before I stopped bleeding. My 2 nd MC was when I started bleeding at 8 weeks... I too had an ERPC then & found it so much quicker, cleaner & easier ... But I understand where you re coming from ; you re waiting your body to do what it should naturally ... Poor u ... Hope something happens soon xxxxx god , it's crap at times isn t it? Then life's fabulous on days like this for us... Funny old world!!!! xxx.

Happy birthday PHEOBE! X

BLIZY, sorry about your news.... Are you having a meeting to discuss with consultant?

MIASMUMMY, I'm glad yesterday allowed your opinions and voices to be heard. You are almost through it now.... You must be exhausted.... We will be thinking about you today and sending love and hope. X

BABY H, how are things? I hope you are ok. Xxx

ANGEL, your nursery is criminal! How do they get away with that big a hike in prices? Sounds like you have a lovely day lined up.... Enjoy!

WTW, green poo! Has she settled any, or did it continue through the night? Exploding nappies are hard work!

Got to get up now... Nothing started here, wish it would just get on with it... Might be weeks if I let it happen naturally, but ERPC would mean third time my insides have been hoovered, so possible scarring, then two complete cycles before ttc. The pills would mean three complete cycles. And both these options would strip my lining out, so negate any 'fertility advantage' from the MC. Not sure my body's bright enough to work it out on its own though!! I'll give it two weeks until scan, and if nothing's happening by then, I'll have to reconsider I think. Bloody hell, I hate this. I just want to get on with it now....

Happy 1st birthday to Pheobe! Hope you all have a lovely day. X

Mias- I am thinking of you both today, my hand is here for you to grip onto. X

'Miasmum xxxxx you re so strong ... Hope tomorrow brings a tiny amount of resolution for your family .... I m sure Mia is looking down on you smiling .... Pls take care of yourself & each other... Xxxxxx. Good luck xxxx
Blizy Arh bugger!!!! Crapty crap ... Your poor hubby ... Hope you re both ok? You seem very strong as a couple I m sure you ll pull together through this latest hurdle & go on to achieve your rainbow xxx
Wtw poor Holly ... Hope she's better soon ... I too get that impending sense of doom now with regards to sleepless nights
Xxx
Spilt hope stuff improves soon for you all... We re all tired too as Phebs still having disturbed nights but slightly better last night only awake from 11-1 ish!!!! Also totally skint!!! Ouch .... With regards to the cars .... So expensive aren t they to run????? We ve had to take out another loan to help us out at the moment ... So skint it's a nightmare particularly with the depressing news nursery fees are increasing so much ... Hope all settles soon xxxx
Blue whoop whoop only 32 days to go yeh...
Moomins not long for you either? Xx
Kleine hope u re ok? Xxx
Hi babyH how are you? Xxx
Love to all.... Work continues to be stupidly busy , broke up today to Monday ... Just wrapped Phebs's bday presents
Tomorrow: we re meeting our MW ; Helen who delivered Georgie & Was in the theatre for Phebs for a coffee then out for lunch , in to Ant's work to show Phebs off then home .... Will be lovely xxxx
Can t believe she's 1 time has gone so quickly .... Xxxx

Just popping on to say good luck for tomorrow, mias. I am in awe of your strength and I'm sure little Mia will be so proud of how her Mummy has fought for her. Positive thoughts winging their way to u and MrMia.

Hello and hugs to everyone. Sorry too tired to name check, xx

Oooh angel happy birthday to Phebs for tomorrow. How lovely :)) What are your plans xxx

Mias posted on your fb but again totally in awe of you guys. It's no wonder Mia was so fabulous with parents like you xxx

ladies you are all truly wonderful, thinking of MrMia and I, despite all the unfairness and injustice going on in your lives... amazingly kind and generous of you all. Especially big hugs to blizy and your DH, greengoose, kleine, and angel and her Phebs

The coroner will give his verdict about Mia tomorrow. Today was a better day for us, with a strong expert witness who was very clear and convincing about the treatment which should have happened for Mia. MrMia and I also gave evidence. It is still likely to be natural causes, but we now feel we have done all we could in our quest for truth for our beautiful daughter at this point in time, so feeling a little more at ease.

Oh Blizy FFS how unfair! More bloody unfairness. Hope you and dh are as okay as you can. You sound a bit resigned lovie. Fx for re-test. Is there anything that can be done to improve motility? xx

Waves spilt feeling your financial pain! Our car has been in the garage as well this month - an unexpected garage bill of £508 not welcome at all!!

Poor Holly seems to have an exploding bottom - 5 lots of very bad nappies today Hope she's not poorly and it's just a bit of upset tummy. Don't think I've eaten anything unusual so not sure what's causing it. Last one was quite green coloured. Think we could be in for an unsettled night poor thing.

Gosh so much going on, so many of us having really hard times, it is very moving and hard to read. I just want to make everything ok for everyone.

kleine my lovie, about the IVF that is a big deal to contend with, how are you feeling about it? What sort of stats do your private clinic have? fx for a successful first cycle. Will your work be helpful over time off etc? I'm so sorry about the comment I made a few days ago about luteal phases and conception chances - i didn't know that you'd started IVF previously, I would never have said that otherwise. Was tactless in the extreme and i hugely apologise.

miasmummy thinking of you all lots. There is nothing useful any of us can say, but you are such an inspiration in the way you stand up for your daughter and the strength and love for her you exude. I hope today has given you the verdict you wanted. I think of Mia every time I see a tree with its autumn red/gold leaves (and that's a lot round here!)

blizy I second the others, how difficult to believe the results are all fine and then have further info ... Are they going to retest? Have they explained how much of a problem the low motility is? I imagine it's something that could be very problematic or hardly make a difference depending on severity but don't really know. ((hugs))

moomins wow you're getting there How are you feeling now you've passed 20 weeks? As you say, 23 weeks now, so every day from here on is a bonus. fx for another 17 weeks cooking time!!

angel a very happy birthday to little Phebs tomorrow xxx What's your plans?

blue so nearly there now! My top tip is bake a load of choccy brownies and freeze them ready for the postnatal ravenousness.

fan thank you so much for the babyloss thread, harrowing but beautiful.

green I posted on FB too but your Merryn is just gorgeous, such beautiful features and a very wise expression. Well done getting through DS's birthday, you are a very strong lady. Love to you, it must be such a bloody awful time.

We are ok here, very tired tbh, Freya's sleeping badly so we all are! Had our cavity wall insulation done this week and its already making a difference - have turned the heating back off, woop! We are also having a shite financial month - car tax x 2, car tyres had to be changed, exhaust fell off one car so needed fixing, and cat is poorly so already had a £220 vet bill and more to come as he needs a tooth op. Argh. Feel like walking round with tenners stapled to me for people to pick off
But on the bright side we're getting apples out the garden which are very tasty.

hes from Blantyre, born in Bellshill.

Not at all fan, no need to apologise. I not angry with the dr (strangely), she just read the results out to him. He has a normal sperm count just a low motility rate.

I thought your Dh was from Aberdeen? Where in Glasgow was he?

blizy sorry if my post seamed abit forthright. I was reading really quick on my way home.
I am a bit angry that they told you that last week with out reading the full report, it seams. I just spoke to DH about you and your DH (he feels like he knows you a bit more as your from the same city) , he is very shocked that they told you this. It is disgraceful. I hope he really is ok, Im sure its a shock to him. I hope that it is just a blip and the next results show everything is fine, or that it is easy to fix. Life is shit isnt it, I found out today that my friend is going through her fifth miscarriage, her DH is very upset, DH is taking him out tomorrow to talk it all over.

mias been thinking of you all day. Hope you and mrmias are ok.

Oh I see - but still... so difficult to be told everything's ok, and then be told something else later. Quite understand the not-knowing-how-to-feel. You need a little while to think about it first.
I'm ok ta Well, as ok as it gets these days! Thanks for asking

Thanks Kleine, the dr did say on fri that it was preliminary results Sent by email as they had not yet received the full paper version. She said she would call when they received them. I don't quite know how I feel, Dh is claiming to be ok.
How are you feeling?

blue, Moomins im glad you are both doing well. X

blizy I'm so sorry to hear that - though I'm a bit cross that they told you it was fine last week, and have only properly looked at the results now. How are both you and DH doing? I know you've just got this news, so don't imagine you've made any plans about what to do yet, it needs to sink in a bit first. So hard though. I totally sympathise with you asking why things couldn't have gone your way - you more than deserve many, many brilliant things. Lots of love to you tonight xx
There really are lots of incredibly difficult circumstances on this thread, aren't there, that are come on top of the worst possible loss, that of our children. It makes me so angry. I know it can't be expected to be different, we can't expect life to give us a break now. But still, I am so angry...

On a far more positive note, however - blue and moomins I am so glad that all is well with both of you and both of your little ones, and hope that everything goes exactly according to plan for you (ie, a slightly early arrival for blue, and an amazing, going-to-term ELCS for moomins).

blizy I guess all you can do is think of the bright side to the news, if that's the only thing wrong then it can be fixed, and also takes the pressure off you a little. Hugs to you it is hard to hear. Fx its a blip.

Mias- I have no words, but I am thinking of you. X

well, we had a bit of a blow today. The Dr called Dh back after looking at his results again and he has a low motility rate on his sperm. She sai it won't be impossible to conceive but could take a while.. I just feel so disheartened about it, Dh has to do a repeat test on the 27th nov.
Why can things not go our way for once?