Rainbow Babies. Making it through the storm, missing our Angels, loving and hoping for Rainbows.

miasmum sending you all the strength I have today, all the trees have turned here red and gold, she is every where. Much love to you.

Firstly today - huge hugs to miasmummy and mrmia. Thinking of Mia, and wishing so very hard that she were here with you, that today was an entirely different type of day. Lots and LOTS of love xx

green there is still loads of love coming your way from me, too xx

elly how lovely about your friend! I do so hope for her that she has a very uneventful pregnancy ahead of her. Infertility is so tough.
And - just two little days until your scan now...

spilt how is Freya doing now?

little oh, the nausea... I hope that ginger/crackers/etc do work for you. (My pg was off-the-scale for sickness - used to want to punch people when they suggested ginger to me - by week 11, I was on drugs that were designed for chemo patients, and even they didn't work that well!! But hopefully you will be able to manage it ok. Very much agree with whoever said just to eat whatever you can.)

blue hope your midwife appt goes well tomorrow, and that you manage to get some rest soon, too... It IS exhausting, isn't it, carrying a little person around inside you all the time! Is E excited about her party?

blizy it must be hard with your sis due so soon. How are you coping with it all? Lovely to have a little niece or nephew on the way, of course, but very difficult, too.

fan how are you feeling today - any better? I do hope so xx

babyh hope the hol has improved since its disastrous beginning!!

august how lovely to hear from you - am not surprised you're so busy - hope all the boys are doing really well, and that you are managing to get at least a little bit of sleep every now and then, too

angel your life is such a whirlwind! But how lovely that Phebs enjoyed her birthday so much. What does she want to buy with all that birthday money?

waves to wtw, bet you'll have such a lovely half term with your girls...

Hi to rainbox, how are you doing?

I do hope I've not missed anyone, though I'm sure I have. No real news to report from me, not much happening here... Love to all xx

Morning all

Sending much love & hugs to mias and MrMia, what an incredibly tough time for you, following the inquest which was the focus for you both for such a long time.

I'm pleased that some of you managed to get out and about this weekend - the weather here was lovely, but DH was poorly so I welcomed the opportunity to do very little all weekend & just slob around with him!!

2 days to go, and first counselling session this afternoon - what a week! Am in London all day tomorrow for a management meeting with work, so that should distract me at least a little bit.

How are you doing green, I hope it is settling down a bit now and that you are managing some rest & sleep.

Hope Freya is ok spilt and is starting to eat a bit and isn't in too much pain, it must be horrid when they are teething.

little, so at your new bed!! We broke ours so got rid of it when we moved, so are just in the spare double bed at the moment, can't wait to get a new king size!!

[waves] to everyone else - hope you are doing ok xx

MiasMummy, thinking of you, MrMia and your amazing Mia today, sending you all love. Xxx

Miasmum xxxxx love to you all xxxxx life is incredibly surreal sometimes isn t it? I get that xxx
Green hope u re ok as you can be? Xxx
Kleine hi, how are you? Xxx
Wtw gosh !!!! Teeth at 7 weeks!!!! ??? Xx
Hope your girls are good? We didn t put Phebs in her own room to about 5 months... Xxc phebs still hasn t got 1 tooth & has been teething intermittently since she was about 5 months old .i feel so sorry for her & it's a royal pain now!!!! Xxx
Spilt what's Cullen skink? Xxx
Blue yeh to finishing work soon xxxx
Hope everyone else is well?
Had a fab , but exhausting weekend in Blackpool. Phebs recieved loads of lovely cards & presents (& a shed load of cash!!!) she loved the lights we were just knackered as we didn t get to bed to 1 am Sun then she wouldn t sleep in her travel cot so ended up in bed with us which always guarantees she sleeps well we don't!!!!
Felt flu like again Sun night , didn t get home to 6 I was in bed at 8 then Phebs was awake at 4!!! To 6 then work , really hard this week as we re moving premises so lugging tables, packing up clinic rooms then un packing them... The lift broke ( we re 3 floors up in our new place , walk in centre) so the poor delivery men we re carrying our couches up 8 lots of stairs!!! Bless them ...,felt flu like again ... So sick of feeling ill & was a little worried if something is underlying but convinced its just being tired & never fully recovering. Never getting a full night un disturbed sleep whilst working.... Could do with a week off to sleep xxxx
But apart from that we re all good!!!! Miss Phebs has had a week long celebrations for her birthday
Love to all xxxxxx

mias, sending you and mrmia huge hugs. x

Again -
for Mia
X

Sorry, on phone, was meant to be flowers. Royally messed that up!

thanks for Mia

Missing you all just so busy all the time with my boys I barely have a chance to read and am missing so much!
blue here to follow your last few weeks of pg, exciting and nerve racking times
mias thinking of you today x
wtw holly is so cute, and I live K's smile - what a gorgeous pair
little congrats
green so sorry, hope you're getting some rest

Forgot to say that we have no plans for tomorrow. We are ignoring MrMia's birthday, as he says it no longer has any significance to him. MrMia is going to work, although he has admitted his head is not in the right place, and he is drained of energy. But on Wednesday, he and I will be planting snowdrops and bluebells at Mia's Wood with my parents.

We received her death certificate today.

Hello all. Just feeling very weird. Drained. As if all this happened to someone else, I even travelled to London today for a business meeting... But so very sad and confused on the inside. Now it's time to have my real life back, please. The one with my little red-head toddler here, who pats my tummy and chats about 'baby.' It all happens in my head, that's for sure.

We were playing some videos of Mia over the weekend, and the baby responded to Mia's squeaks and squeals, kicking very noticeably. That made us happy, but in a sad way. And MrMia and I hugged for some reason later in the day, and my round belly was in the way, which made me start to cry, as I felt we were having a three-way family hug, which should have been a four-way hug with Mia scooped up in our arms too.

But we were horribly scared yesterday, when we heard that one of Mia's friends was admitted overnight to hospital with a chest infection and shallow, fast breathing, on her 2nd birthday. Surely it couldn't happen again? And like us, there had been a death in the family only a few days before. We were so very anxious. Fortunately, she was discharged late yesterday.

Tonight I went to pre-natal yoga classes for the first time, and as I was late and flustered, I had to launch into my personal introduction quite quickly, and ended up blurting more about Mia than this little baby inside me. I am hoping that I will be able to make some new baby friends, but worried that my 'bereaved mother' status will make things very awkward for others to feel like they can approach me. Very glad that my SIL is in the class, as she makes friends easily - just as I used to - so I am hoping that will help.

wow to all teeth by 7 months wtw, Freya didn't get her first one until about 9 months (bad mother - can't actually remember, but it was fairly late!). I know what you mean about feeling so lucky and checking all the time. Don't rush it if you're not ready, plenty of time xx

Really should proof read - Miasmummy am sure you realised but the first part was to you! xx

Just wanted to pop on and say that I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and Wednesday. Am sure both days will be incredibly difficult. Do you have any plans? xx

Darling green I'm sorry you are going through this hideous time. I so wish I could make it all better for you

Ah the teething split poor Freya. Katie got her first 2 teeth at 10 weeks old she then went onto get the full set by 7 months! It was a very intense period of ridiculously young teething but it did get it all over with quickly!

New bed sounds lush little I'd love love love a king size bed!

Blue can't believe how close you are now! So hope the next few weeks fly by for you. Is E getting excited? xx

Waves fan glad the wool arrived How you doing lovely?

Great news about your friend Elly it's so incredibly sad what trauma people go through to get their children.

Lots of love Kleine totally understand the need for a change of scene xx

All well here. Looking forward to having my big girl home for the week next week. Have got some spooky Halloween activities planned Holly seems to be growing at a rate of knots and changing every day. I feel so bloody lucky to have her. Dp wants to start putting her to bed upstairs in the evenings now but I just don't think I can yet......not sure when I'll be ready to stop checking her every 5 minutes!

Sorry if I've missed anyone - a hot bath is calling

Love to all xxxxx

She's ok thanks blizy. I have tempted her with cullen skink tonight which has gone down well, nice and soft, huzzah! I was just so relieved to realise the food refusal was teething, I had horrible visions of her turning into a child who only eats plain pasta and cucumber It would drive me round the twist!

Ooh new bed, little how fab Nothing like a luxurious new mattress. We are half thinking about doing the opposite to you and going from a king to a superking - F takes up lots of space these days, me & DH are getting squished . Sorry you've got the sickness, it's really miserable. I definitely found that eating at the first hint of nausea helped (so all bloody day then!), counterintuitive, but hunger made the sickness worse. Sod healthy, eat whatever you can face.

Just quickly wanted to send love to green and say that I hope so very much you've not been in too much pain, and that at some point you'll get a nap in. This really sucks... you are truly extraordinary for managing the birthday party.

Waves to all! And hugs for all who need one (can't scroll back but I remember that fan was feeling down...) xx

Hello all.

Green - big hugs. Hope you're ok. Even better than getting a new mattress....we got a whole new bed!! We've slightly downsized to a Kingsize as our old one Superking is somewhat overpowering the bedroom. It arrives tomorrow, so am very excited!

elly - brilliant news for your friend. FX all goes ok for her.

blue - how exciting for you. Not long now

Today I was quite nauseous this morning and again this afternoon. Taking ginger nuts into work tomorrow to see if it's because I need food (seemed to help with Daisy) and am taking it as a good sign.

Waves to everyone else. Hope you are all ok, xxx

Great news about your friend elly!

hi split, how is Freya with teething today?

Green, I hope you had a peaceful day and are ok?
I love Glasgow too, I live in between Glasgow and Stirling. I used to frequent the art school union with my friend, i had many a messy night there.

Blue, exciting times ahead! My sister is due around the same time as you (15th) and its my birthday on 20th. I was at my sisters today, mooning over all of her little babies clothes and moses basket. I might be away in holiday when she gives birth though.

elly lovely news about your friend and I'm so glad you feel happy for her and ok about it too - reactions can be weird and hard and unexpected sometimes. Did you tell her about your pg too? You must be very similar dates?

green you sound very matter of fact. I'm so sorry for how shittily it's all panned out. Big hugs and lots of strength to you. Hope you are being well looked after by DH xx

miasmummy how are you this week? You've been building up the inquest for so long, I wonder if it's a bit strange now that focus is gone? I hope it's a relief and you are getting some rest, mental as well as physical xx

blue I remember that tiredness well, you have my sympathies. I don't know how you felt after E & S's births, but certainly I felt so much more energy for not being pregnant anymore, you don't realise how much it saps out of you! Not long now and you can lie on your front again!! And walk at a normal pace!

fan the midwife is coming here on Wednesday to discuss everything about home birth with us hopefully after that visit I know what I need to get... I'm not having a pool set up anyway so won't have to bother about that.
Still need to get clothes down from the attic though and washed and sorted.

elly that's great news about your friend. A good friend of mine is on her second cycle of IUI.

blue wow not long to wait. How's the prep for home birthing going?

Last 2 weeks of work... last 2 weeks of work! Absolutely exhausted... :(
Had a busy weekend too... drove down to Oxford on Saturday to visit theological college I would like to go to. Was a very nice but tiring day. Yesterday after church I was just completely exhausted and stayed on the sofa all day.
Tonight we've got E's first parents evening at school! Exciting! :)

green take it easy! thinking of you x glad you managed DS's party!

We've got E's 4th birthday party on Sunday evening, it's at the Wacky Warehouse so won't have to do anything luckily, except provide a (shop-bought) birthday cake.

Just had some lovely news - a friend I went to uni with has been TTC since getting married 3 year ago, we kind of lost touch when I got pg with Nancy because she was finding it hard, fair enough. She has just contacted me to tell me she is 9 weeks pg!! 5th round of IUI (precursor to IVF apparently) - I'm soooo pleased for them!!! She was worried to tell me, bless her, because of losing Nancy, but I'm absolutely over the moon for them - it's just such lovely news that I wanted to share it with you all xxx

Will read back properly later xxx

Hi all, sorry I've been absent over the WE, I just needed to get through and not think too much. DSs party was a trial if I'm honest, but he loved every minute, so worth it. Things properly kicked off with the MC last night as we were clearing up the village hall after the party, so I just made it. (I had visions of CSI type scenes under the disco uv light). Last night was really sore, and no sleep, just sat on loo. Today it's all very full on, but it should be better quickly if its going this fast... So that's good! The boys will have to have a quiet day, far too much tv and left over party food, but it won't hurt. ( half term for two weeks here).

SPILT, glad you've worked out Freya's teething! Always easier to know what's wrong... Even if there's not all that much to do about it!

BLIZY, you make me 'home' sick for Glasgow! I used to live there while I was at art school, (I'm from Stirling). Glasgows the best city in the uk I think! I lived just near Glasgow Green, and when they used to do T in The Park there, we could see from our windows. I think that whole area is demolished and rebuilt now, it was on the edge of the Gorbals. Forever ago now....

FAN, sorry you're a bit down. I get flat at that end of my cycles too. I prefer having AF to the TWW, it's rubbish. I have everything crossed for you..... Xxx

KLEINE, hugs to you, lovely lady. Nothing I can say, but I wish that life would be easier on you. I hope you found some comfort in your travels this WE.

LITTLE, did you get a new mattress? I too need to get back to doing some exercise. I'm rubbish though. Hate the gym, and crap at running. Only like swimming in the river or sea. I am big as a house ATM though, so will force myself soon... Probably running, it's easy to fit into life, and free!

ELLY, not so long to wait now. Hope your DH is feeling a little better.... And well done for going swimming!

Hello to everyone else on this wet Monday, hope you are all ok. Xxx