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Rainbow Babies. Making it through the storm, missing our Angels, loving and hoping for Rainbows.

992 replies

RainboxFX · 11/10/2012 09:22

A shiny new thread in memory of our angels. To bring us all BFPs, sticky beans and healthy happy Rainbows.

OP posts:
fanjodisfunction · 04/11/2012 19:13

Thanks ladies for the support and kind words. Feeling ok today, DH has had a great bday. And I've just spent a couple of hours buying christmas pressies from amazon.

rainbox we are here when you are feeling down, please don't stay away. Rant all you want on here, or just scream.

KleinePoppet · 04/11/2012 18:36

rainbox, sweetie, you are having such a rough time. Please don't stay away from the thread just because you feel so low. There's NO need for you to help anyone else, or worry about not being able to. We all have black times, we're here to hold your hand through yours. So sorry about AF, and what terrible timing Sad. I'm glad you managed to have a cry, though, a proper cry can be good, can't it.
Big hug from me to you xx

Oh and on a lighter note, while I am very admiring of your flexibility, I would have thought that pulling your head out of your bum can really only be a helpful thing to do Wink

RainboxFX · 04/11/2012 18:13

Hello all, sorry I have been so out of touch. I have just been so down. I am okay, I am not in danger or anything, I am just so very low. Going back to work, Dexter's "half birthday" and then AF the same day has been a bit much for me and I have gone into hiding a bit. Been staying away from the thread because I don't have anything to give. I just feel like a black hole and I don't want to be a negitive force when so many people are having a far tougher time than I am! I was able to really, properly cry the other day for the first time in weeks, and I think that did help. Trying this time round is so much harder. I thought trying for Dexter was getting difficult and sad, but this is just a million times worse. It's like I know what I am missing now.

Sending us all love this weekend. I do think about us all often, and I have missed everyone! I will try to pull my head out of my bum. xx

OP posts:
KleinePoppet · 04/11/2012 15:29

fan Sad I'm so so very sorry. It must be so exhausting for you and your DH, to keep going, keep on. I know what you mean about people saying 'it will happen' (and I'm not nearly as far down this path as you). Sending you lots of love, and happy birthday to your DH from me xx

little I hope that your due date yesterday was bearable - that you managed, somehow, to celebrate Daisy's life, even amongst your grief and sadness. xx

Love to all, and also I hope that those of you who dislike fireworks now - elly in particular - are surviving the weekend ok. xx

spilttheteaagain · 04/11/2012 09:14

Happy birthday mrfan! fan big hugs to you, I'm so sorry xx

blizy · 03/11/2012 16:44

Angel, im glad you are feeling better. How are things with you and Ant now?

babyh, not brave at all. Just have to deal with crap life keeps throwing at us. How are you?

Mias, I do try with the mindees. I love to see the joy and excitment on their little faces.

Hope you all have a nice weekend, love to all. x

AngelGeorgie · 03/11/2012 16:28

Little love to u & Daisy xxx
Kleine hope the meeting helped ? Xx
BabyH we do seem to be twinnies with holidays & illness... Feeling a little better today , ta xxx
Spilt indeed is hard work being ill with a child... Xxx
Fan xxxxx so sorry wish I could make it better for u xxx
Blizy sounds like u ve got a good November lined up xxx
Miasmum is Mia's goodbye day the 1 st then? Hope u re ok? Xx
Feeling slightly better here , resting off to a bonfire later with Phebs ... Take it easy ladies xxxxx

Babyh200 · 03/11/2012 15:04

Fan: Have been thinking of you all day and hoping it was gonna be your turn.....so very sorry its not :( Take care chick xxxxxxx

Little: Thinking of you and Daisy today xxx

Kliene: Glad your finding the SANDS meetings helpful.....its good to talk to RL people and hopefully meet new friends. This cycle business must be getting on your nerves.....its grinding me down too TBH. I hope more than anything its not your AF :( xxxxxx

Angel: Bad luck with holidays and sickness seems to be following both of us doesnt it! Hope your feeling much better today xxxxxxxxxx

Whatever: Hope everything ok with you : ) never really linked going to those meetings with pregnancy but it makes sense I suppose. (I've never been to a group but just got me thinking about it) xxxxx

Blizy: You and Fan are so similar in that you have both been hoping for a rainbow for so long now and life just carries on being cruel.......thinking of you your so brave xxxxxxxxxx

Love to all xxxxxxxxx

blizy · 03/11/2012 13:45

Fan, we are here for you anytime. If you need to talk pm me. X

fanjodisfunction · 03/11/2012 13:38

blizy I do so wish sometimes we did live close to each other. I'm just so fed up, my DH is home soon, this is not the birthday I was hoping for him.

I think I might give Mumsnet a break for the weekend. Talk soon.

Whatevertheweather · 03/11/2012 13:34

Hope today is gentle on you little xx

Well done going to the sands meeting kleine we went to a few and found them helpful but I stopped going when I fell pg as I thought it wasn't appropriate but actually I think I might go again

Whatevertheweather · 03/11/2012 13:33

Oh fan that is shit Sad No platitudes from me just a hand to squeeze and someone to rant at xxxxx

blizy · 03/11/2012 13:29

Fan, I wish I lived closer to give you a huge hug. You are right it is shit, I have nothing to say to make you fell better because I know it won't. Sad

Kleine, hugs for you too.

fanjodisfunction · 03/11/2012 13:04

I think I've started spotting. I'm just so fed up, when am I going to get a break. I'm fed up of people saying it will happen, how do you fucking know that. Why does my whole life have to be a struggle. I'm so fucked off!

fanjodisfunction · 03/11/2012 08:58

little thinkning of you also, got a bit caught up in my own drama.

Bluetinkerbell · 03/11/2012 08:41

little thinking of you today as it is Daisy's due date! Hope you have a gentle day! X

fanjodisfunction · 03/11/2012 08:38

poppet lol, yes I did manage to flush and run. I'm glad you are meeting RL that know what you are going through. I'm sure it is all very tough.
Here's hoping that your LH phase lasts that little bit longer or its something else. (Always have a bit of hope even if its so hard to try).

KleinePoppet · 03/11/2012 07:59

I v much hope that the lack of posts after 5.30 last night means that you all DID have lovely evenings.
And, also, that fan has managed a quick flush again this morning Grin

Thanks for your message elly. We were glad we'd gone, last night, but there were a lot of people there this time and it was - emotionally exhausting. But we met some very nice (very sad...) people, and that's the point of going for us at the moment, to meet potential new friends.

I am having cramping this morning Sad, I know you'll all say it could be implantation cramping, but it probably isn't. I just hope, if it's AF, that it waits a few days to give me a slightly longer LP. I'm only four or five days DPO.

Wishing you all peaceful, happy weekends xx

Ellypoo · 02/11/2012 17:33

I hope that it goes ok tonight kleine for you & DH xxx

KleinePoppet · 02/11/2012 17:12

Hi everyone. I have read through, but am only writing a quick message, so I just want to send love to you all and say that I'm thinking of everyone.
We are going to our local Sands meeting tonight. DH is coming with me again - this is very brave, because last time he was the only man - I've been assured that there will be at least two other men there, this time, so hopefully he'll be ok!
I really hope everyone enjoys their evening xx

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 02/11/2012 15:34

hello all, starting to tune back into things now...

fan just another one here quietly crossing her fingers for you. Willpower, willpower, stay away from the test kits!! Concentrate on your cooking and preparations for DH's birthday to keep your mind busy... but such an easy thing to say Wink

elly know what you mean about fireworks. On 31st October last year, the night before the celebration of Mia's life, we had a big family dinner to honour her, and then lit fireworks. All the children spontaneously agreed that the biggest, brightest, golden-orange firework was hers. Sad

angel it's not surprising you are feeling rubbish, a lot on your plate emotionally and mentally. I didn't realise that Mia and Georgie shared the same good-bye daySad

whatever K is so very special. While you feel that she has lost her innocence, she is still an amazing big sister who adores her younger ones, and it is wonderful that she shows it so openly. Smile

kleine when I lived in Belgium, they were still very proud of the Stroumphs!

babyH wow, you are really going strong on the decorating!! We are now on the 'keep the house warm' campaign' although I have to touch up our bedroom first. I am in charge of secondary glazing and organising thermal-lined curtains, while MrMia does loft insulation and draught proofing. Think I got the easier end of things. Wink

blizy you sound like a fab child minder, so much effort you put into making things special for your mindees.

rainbox just saying I am thinking of you and Dexter too, hope you are being quiet because you are busy rather than sad...Flowers

spilt another here glad to see the end of October. A black month for many of us, it would seem.

razz Little Samuel sounds like a real little character, I did giggle with the Moanbags comment. Grin

cheese wow, you are definitely a super-mum, homeschooling while waking 4 times a night to feed. Flowers

blue definitely on the countdown now, hope you are more prepared than me! And that you are feeling less unwieldy than I do, this week everything has suddenly become so much more of an effort and I still have over 4 weeks to go.

green lovely, just checking in on you, it's been such a tough few weeks for you, yet you have still managed to do all kinds of amazing things for your DCs. Such admiration. Flowers

missamel and mallulah hello from me, I have been reading but not really having too much energy to properly write. This is a wonderful forum, as you can see by the writings here.

august The Fear. So Very Real. I still can't quite envisage this baby being in my arms, let alone anything more. I want it, but I know only too well that this doesn't mean anything.

I dreamt last night that Mia died for a month, but then she came back to us, and somehow, we had a choice in making that happen. (If only.) At first, I was worried that people would think we were weird, but then I realised I didn't care.

Ellypoo · 02/11/2012 14:47

Am 13+3 now fan - 1/3 of the way through. We have said that we won't intentionally find out the sex, but if we happen to because of extra scans then that's fair enough! Am struggling to focus at work though - am so tired!

fanjodisfunction · 02/11/2012 14:38

elly thankyou. So sorry you can watch the fireworks anymore. How many weeks are you now? Are you going to find out the sex?

Ellypoo · 02/11/2012 14:34

angel, sorry you are feeling poorly - sickness is the worst, I hope that you feel better very soon xx

Step away from the sticks fan!!!!

new month now spilt xxx

Ellypoo · 02/11/2012 14:18

Hi all - wow, have missed so much!
Nice to 'see' some old faces (not old old, but hopefully you know what I mean!!). Lovely to hear how you are doing with your little ones!

Not much to say here really, went to ww for the last time on Wed & broke my news - got weighed before I did it though, and I'm really pleased that I have only put on 1 1/2 pounds since I got pregnant!! Some kind of miracle, and hopefully I won't just pile masses on again now, but very pleased - it means that my belly isn't all down to food!!!

Am trying to get a scan & consultant appointment for 16 weeks, but consultant is on holiday this week, so will have to see next week. Also, will run out of AD's on Monday, forgot to make a doc appt to get some more, and have just tried the surgery, but I can't make an advanced appt to see my gp for a couple of weeks, so will just have to call in on Tues/Wed at 8am and hope for the best. Am wondering if this is a sign for me to stop taking them, but I suppose that wouldn't be sensible really.

I don't want to miss anyone out - I have been thinking of us all, but

blizy, I'm really pleased that your ADs are starting to kick in - do you feel that they are helping?

fan - keeping fingers very quietly crossed here xx Hope DHs birthday is lovely!!

blue - wow, not long now - have you got your homebirth kit and everything sorted out? Glad DD1 enjoyed her b'day party!

babyh, I hope your decorating is going ok - I would be glad if I never saw another paintbrush after doing our house this year!!

razz & cheese, so lovely to hear from you!

Enjoy fireworks this weekend - I am not planning on going to any this year, I used to absolutely love fireworks, but when we were travelling back after Nancy died on New Years Eve, all we saw were fireworks all the way down the motorway, so they just remind me of that now Sad

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