Rainbow Babies. Making it through the storm, missing our Angels, loving and hoping for Rainbows.

rainbox how lovely to get all those rainbows FX indeed. Going back to work is hard, on so many levels, it's a massive drain physically and emotionally, just so tiring feeling like you are keeping up an act all day long. Be kind to yourself.

angel so glad Phebs is getting back to rights. The colds are just Non. Bloody. Stop. I took Freya to the doctor yesterday to get them to listen to her chest as she has such a horrible mucky cough. She went nuts at them as they tried to take temp, listen to chest, look in throat and ears, and eventually hit the doctor Apparently all is ok! Any semblance of routine we were developing has gone clean out the window with the batch of bugs she's had recently - couldn't get her to sleep until 10pm last night!! And we appear to have hit fussy eater stage, toast, cheese, baked beans, yoghurt and fruit. That is all. Bless her She's obsessed with the phone now and likes to chatter into it and then forcibly ram it into my face to make sure I do too

miasmummy I hope you are doing ok? This last little bit can seem so loooong!

Not much to report from here. It is cold. But our deer was back in the garden yesterday, not seen it for ages so that was nice.

Love to all, especially kleine, I hope you are not having too bad a time of it physically xx

Fantastic news! Holly is a tough little girl.

I am THRILLED wtw, well done Miss Holly! Love to her xx

Well in true children fashion my little trooper rallied through the night, temp, sats and heart rate all stable and she's had 2 breastfeeds so we're going home today!! Yay! She's still got a chesty cough but that will linger for a few weeks apparently. Will now fight the urge to wrap her in cotton wool until march

Yay! Kids recoveries are amazing!

Thank you so much for the hand-holding - very very much appreciated for everyone

Kliene, what can I say except that life is so unfair. I've no idea what your going through because I've never had a miscarriage. All I know is what my wise old aunty one said which is that 'you love your baby from the moment you discover your pregnant and that little seed contains all your hopes and dreams for the future'. I'm so so sorry that your not getting the rainbow you deserve so much. Thinking of you and Mr Kliene xxxxxxx

Wtw : big hugs hope your ok and Holly is back to full strength soon xx

Rainbox: FX your AF never arrives....well not ever but you know what I mean. Happy anniversary xxxxxx

Waves to everyone else.

Night all

Ps: Fan, if your reading your never far from my thoughts xxxxx

Kleine. take care xxxxxx sorry xxx
Wtw love to you all xxxx hurry up Holly & get better ... Mummy & daddy are knackered .... Xxxxx
Elly we ve just celebrated Georgie's 2 nd birthday , well you may remember in October. We have a special place we go to to lay flowers for her & went out for a meal after. The first year we had a lot of cards & flowers. This year , a few cards but I asked my family to donate money to SANDS instead of buying me flowers in Georgie's name . Xxx
Well let the birthday celebrations begin ... Phebs , dare I say it???, finally turned a corner & better today. Actually managed a full day at nursery. Ny cold improving & now I m off work for a week. Bliss a day in my own tomorrow , going shopping on my own to buy lots of clothes... Yippee xxxx
Thoughts & love to those having a crap time at the moment xxx

So sorry kleine

Sending loads of hugs kleine, I'm so sorry xxxxxxx

Ely, your birthday plans for Nancy sound perfect. For Zoe's birthday we released some balloons, I made her a birthday cake and we bought some pink roses for her. We also dressed her bear up in a happy birthday t-shirt. Dh and I were alone for her birthday but friends and (some) family sent their well wishes.

kleine I am so very very sorry xxx

Oh no Kleine, I am so sorry for you and dh. Sending you all my love, hugs and strength to help you through. X

Oh Kleine so not the news we were all hoping for for you I am so so sorry. No platitudes just huge hugs and love xxxx

Thank you for all Holly's good wishes, she's doing well off the oxygen but not able to feed still so feeding tube still in

Just a very quick message - I'm going to take a few days 'off', but I know you'll all want to know what's going on. I am indeed miscarrying... the hospital will keep an eye on me with tests and scans over the next few days, but so far things are ok and I'm not in any pain at the moment.
We're sad, of course, but still going. I'll be back on the thread soon (can't take TOO long a break as a certain miasmummy will be having her LO, and I don't want to miss it!).

wtw I am so delighted to hear that Holly is feeling better. Hope you're home very, very soon xxxx

Love to you all xx

What have people done for their Angel's first birthdays? Nancy's is on 29th December, and DH has suggested that we have a party for her at ours, get buffet food from M&S or Waitrose so we don't have to think about making stuff. Might make her a cake & have a balloon for her. Does this sound ok? I can always escape to our room if I need to.

I just agree with what everyone else has said wtw, it is such a scary time for you, there is no wonder you broke down. Sending much love and strength to you all xxx Very glad to hear Holly is off the oxygen today, must be a huge relief for you both xxx

kleine, thinking of you xxx

whatever I would have cried too. Going to hospital with my baby is my biggest nightmare. I am amazed that you were able to hold out for so long.

Oh wtw,don't be ashamed, what you are feeling is natural especially after what we have been through. We are all here to hold your hand and offer you hugs when you need it. Get well soon Holly. X

wtw ((())) my blood ran cold reading your post, do not be ashamed of breaking down, you are in an immensely scary stressful situation, esp with the history that we all have here. I can't imagine how horrible it must have been to see Holly suctioned out. But you will cope, because you have no choice. I can totally understand needing to escape and sob in the loo, I'm sure we'd all do the same. Big big hugs to you, we are all here with you holding your hand and sending lots of health vibes to little Holly. Can't wait to hear she's improving, hang in there xxxx

Kleine xxxxx
Wtw you re normal , your reaction is perfectly normal . You re scared that's to be expected . Don t beat yourself up about it pls... Take care of all of you. All the love in the world to you all xxx
Split me too!!! Sick to death of Phebs being ill this has been dragging in about 3 weeks now ; not quite ill but not quite right... Just want her to be on now so we can get back to enjoying life. Her appetite is crap at the moment & we ve tried everything... Back to the drs I guess...
Miasmum I was the same last few days before my section date everytime on the CTG Phebs wouldn t cooperate so was there for ages as " didn t fit the criteria" or the tracer would fall off!!! Pain!!!
Phebs still warm tonight ( bad mummy didn t check her temp) hardly took any tea ; only half a yoghurt , no milk as doesn t drink much at the best of times... Really fed up of this now want to enjoy this week not have this underlying sense of worry ( though not like Miasmum, Kleine or Wtw) motherhood ..., its hard???? !!! Xxxc

Oh wtw. I just thought I would quickly pop back on to see if you'd updated on Holly. I am so so sorry.... Don't be ashamed of breaking down. You are human, and you are a mummy. It is beyond terrifying when they are poorly. I'll be thinking of you all so much. Huge hugs to you, and gentle ones to baby Holly. I so hope she feels very much better soon xxxxxxxx

We didn't have a scan today, but will have one tomorrow morning. Still bleeding, though not too much pain yet. Thank you all for your lovely messages xx

I'm sorry that you and Holly have ended up in hospital, but I don't think you are daft AT ALL for crying. She is in the best place to be looked after right now, but it must be terrifying.

One of my friends is a hospital chaplain on a paeds ward. She is not a minister, just a lovely lady, and doesn't need to talk about faith or religion, but she says that people often find it helpful to chat to someone who is outside their family and so not worrying about the little one as well, but who isn't a nurse or a doctor. Perhaps there is someone in your ward similar that you might be able to talk to and cry over. It won't be anything they haven't heard before so don't be embarrassed.

Hope Hope is better very, very soon.

Oh ladies I'm ashamed to say today I cracked and ended up in a sobbing mess in the hospital bathroom Holly choked on some mucous and the nurse had to rush in and suction her and it was terrifying and I can't cope with this at all. I'm so so scared, more scared even than when I was pregnant. Dp is too meaning we are fairly useless to each other.

Sorry to be me me me.

Thinking of you Kleine xx

kleine also hoping against hope that this is just a (very) nasty scare for you. Big hugs.

whatever you and Holly are also in my thoughts.

Had a CTG monitoring session today, a little scary, as the heartbeat kept on disappearing and the other measure kept going from 4% up to 90%, then it beeped and said "the criteria was not met"?!? Called the midwife, who explained that all the baby's movements meant it was hard to pick up the heart, and the other measure was showing I was having BH. Anyway, she stayed with me until I showed all the right readings - and now I officially know what BH feel like, much less dramatic than I thought... And that if I am worried about anything, just to visit them again. But feeling quite vulnerable, it is all so very much out of our control, isn't it?

spilt she's still in bed with us :)
Midwife came today, L now weighs 7lb11oz, more than her birth weight, she's doing so well!