TTC after recent mc - Thread 2

Woody Fx for the BFP tomorrow!! Report back first thing!!

Yorkshire you sound quite rational to me! I have been battling for some time the same head v heart decision you have been brave enough to make! If you take having a baby out of our equation then we will be no more financially worse off with the new job and I will have a 7 minute commute to work and get to work on a farm (which I would love). I think it would help a lot with my general wellbeing and stress levels so overall it seems like a win win situation...until you add babies.

Lol, Mess and Suzy thanks for the SMP advice. DH and I have talked and talked this weekend and have basically decided I should go for the new job. Whilst I would be loosing the great Mat Pay in my current job I would hopefully have a job that would be less stressful and something I want to return to afterwards (no option to be a SAHM for us). We have decided to hold the TTC until Spring so I could get my feet under the table at the new job (got to get it first) before worrying about it again and then qualify for the SMP. The only spanner in the works is if I fall pg this month...

Good luck Woody!

My word woody you have more self-control than me. I'd be peeing on every stick in sight! and would have been since last Tuesday Good luck for tomorrow! x

I second that lol! Woody everything is crossed for you, hope we hear good news later!

Almond I think you need to do what makes you happy, money isn't everything. Difficult of course as I don't know your circumstances but after doing many a horrible job myself, I've gone back to uni at 30 to learn to do a job I love and am now a poor student who waitresses part-time to make ends meet. Husband had a similarly crappy job (although well paid!) and he left to start his own business two years ago in full recession. We are VERY poor. But we are very happy, compared to how miserable I now realise we were before. And if a baby comes along, we'll be even poorer but even happier . Would this customer of yours be the sort of person you could talk this over with? Perhaps they'd be willing to consider offering you a job further down the line? Not an easy conversation, clearly...good luck making a decision. Personally, I'd go with taking the new job and then seeing what happens with ttc, because you can't second guess biology also because I am not well known for making rational decisions

Erm meant woody. Stupid phone

Where is woodsy with her bfp???

To qualify for Statutory Maternity Pay (SMP) you must:

have worked for your employer for at least 26 weeks up to the 15th week before the expected week of childbirth - known as the ?qualifying week?
earn on average at least £107 a week
give the correct notice
give proof you?re pregnant

From the direct.gov website.

Which basically means you can't be pregnant when you start the job, but can get pregnant straight away. I understand your dilemma though, it's a bit off to start a new job fully intending to get pregnant as soon as possible. What would your longer term plan be? Would you go back after mat leave? i.e. if you were pregnant now, is being a SAHM for a while an 'out' from your current job and then you could look for something better?

Almond where I work in order to qualify for smp you have to have been with the company for 26 weeks when you give your maternity leave 'notice'. So I think you're legally obliged to note that you're going off on mat leave sometime around 14 weeks before your due date... therefore you pretty much have to have gotten pregnant when you started at the company.... you can't come in pregnant. That's always been my understanding.

I think given the fact that you're on this thread, TTC is really important. Focus on that and the job will work out in the end. But i would def jump for the job... opportunities don't come along all the time and it's best to take them when you can and have 'no regrets'! (I've always regretted turning down some of the exciting opportunities that have come my way...)

good luck!

Almond is there anyway you can find out their mat leave policy? I think you need to be in the company for 26 weeks by the time you are 14 weeks? Also that only applies if they pay extra on top of smp. If you only get smp I think u can start even later.
Personally I would go for the happy job. You are only 32 (I'm 38!!!!) and have plenty of time. A job you love will benefit you in the long term and even help with ttc if it means you are less stressed.
Is it more money too or just a more intersecting job? What do you do btw?

Sorry Scared that you are having such a tough time.

Can I have your advice girls? So I am sure some of you have read in some of my older posts about my stressful job and insensitive boss...well I thought I would be stuck there forever more as the mat pay is great and I am paid reasonably well. But I am miserable...I have been there 5 years and bored, stressed and slowly loathing it. Well..out of the blue this week I had a very positive discussion with a customer about going to work for them. They are a charity, with a lovely ethos, amazing setting, supportive environment and 5 mins from new house (fingers crossed it all goes through) or 15 mins from current house. The job is totally different to what I do now so a bit scared about the new challenge but I practically cried thinking I had an escape plan! I wouldnt have to take a pay cut either! My dilemma lies with TTC. I think we would need to put it on hold until I was settled in the job and could guarantee getting SMP. Realistically this would be 5 months wait. Its a hard choice as I dont want to give up a great opportunity but it has been such a turbulent 6 months that I dont want to necessarily delay getting pg. The other slight concern is that I had the on the opk this morning and we last DTD on Thus so a small chance I might catch it this month...what would you guys do? It is so hard trying to balance career/money/pg/life!

She's the lady that came into my house after my last mc and showed me her new baby clothes! I don't care for insensitive people like that anyway if I've upset her sorry but tough shit

So sorry scared. I know it was expected but it doesn't make it any less sad. Understand how you feel about fb statuses - those 'xxx's baby is 16 weeks and developing toenails' tickers destroy me! rather than delete people maybe you could just block their updates in your feed for now if you don't want to upset them? They won't know you've done it xxx

woody good luck for tomorrow! Think we're all willing you a bfp!

Right, off to spend all day sat in front of the computer writing essays! Joy... X

Yes I am glad its getting all over and done with if thats wat had to happen I just wanted it done I sat them down and explained that and they made it happen finally nice treatment from the hospital its not actually hit me hard yet! Was sat in epau with 2 others that had same news we were just chatting and drinking coffee they were crying I'm just num from it all now I'm sure they thought I was totally heartless but I've cried so many tears for my unborn babys I don't feel I have any left right now! But why is life so cruel after the news and we went to the shop who did I run into my next door neighbor with massive baby bump that pissed me off more than anything she looked at me funny too probably coz I deleted her off facebook because I couldn. Bear to read one more happy baby status heartbeat this kicking that baby stuff grr goodbye my dh2b thinks I'm really nasty doing that why don't they understand I don't wanna hear that I'm not gonna ignore her in the street but I don't need to read all that right now x

I'm sorry, scared. Good that you don't have to wait again for the ERPC though, I'm sure you want it all over with quickly. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Hi scared.

Really really sorry. I am sure even though you knew this was coming it has still hit you like a brick. Thinking of you.

Hey girls my scan this morning confirmed no heartbeat booked in for a d and c tomorrow :-( will be my 3rd mc in ten months x

Hi all. I'm not poas until a week on Sunday so woody first. I still have an eternity to go before I can even think of poas.
Jen I've never heard of molar pg before. Sounds very sad. When will you hear for definite?

So sorry Jainie to hear about your molar pg. I'm sure you'd just like to draw a line under the whole mc and move on and this latest news isn't letting you. Fx you won't need any treatment. But as others have said plan something big to look forward to. Enjoy your weekend break.

Good luck to lol, woody and anyone else poas at weekend. We are long overdue another batch of Bfps.

Hello to everyone else and hope yous have a nice weekend.

almond yes sometimes bosses are great and sometimes they are monsters. i think the guilt set in with mine and he just gave me an envelope with 40 euros in it and told me to get some nice wine with my dinner while we away on our hotel break this weekend. so maybe not all bad. but i still want to leave!

thanks for all your kind messages girls, i don't know how i would get through this morning without MN! it's one of those things that you just can't talk to everyone about so this is a lifesaver / sanity saver right now!

Janie very sorry to hear about the Molar pg. Fingers crossed Yorkshire is right. I have been trying to take a similar attitude about sorting out a few other things in my life (sounds like we have the same boss ). Applying for a uni course and getting a new house. Holidays may be on the back burner for awhile though!

Lol I really hope this is your month!! I am on CD15 now. No smiley on the opk yet (can you miss them?) but had quite a lot of watery CM. I am hoping that I ov soon and that my luteal phase is a bit longer than last month! It was a bit of a shock getting my period so early (especially as I bought 200 not quiet but you know what I mean pg tests ready for poas!).

Woody glad the acupuncture is helping. I think I may try some more as I really liked the little bit I have had. Fx for you too!

thanks woody you must know me well! i'm thinking work here for another few months, save like hell and then go on an adventure. come back, settle down and hopefully things might go our way. my boss actually just pulled me in to the meeting room just now and apologised as he could see i was already upset. i told him about the test results and had a bit of a breakdown. he told me to head out for an hour and get a coffee or go for a walk just or see if i can get an appointment with the doc to talk it over but i'm just going to battle on through as if i go out now i might never come back!

i'm so excited for you POAS! you better all get BFPs to get me through this!!!! fingers crossed for you all - i want to hear lots of news of sore boobs and morning sickness please!! in the meantime, i will be drinking copious bottles of red wine and eating rare steaks and goats cheese on your behalf for a year! xx