TTC after recent mc - Thread 2

Thanks andadietcoke, lets hope I get it soonso I can start planning th next pregnancy, or not n il get my bfp. Fingers crossed.x

Hi girls
I'm a tad less anxious and with twinges all over rather than just on one side which is helping me relax.
I see what you mean Brie. Of course I am happy but the fear seems a bit overwhelming at times!
Thank you all for your lovely positive messages.
5 weeks tomorrow. Yay!

Hey blol hope you are feeling less anxious now.

I know sometimes it feels like we aren't going to get answers forever but I think I'll worry after an early scan and a 12/20 week one too... And then there's the actual birth to worry about and before we know it we've wished away what really is an amazing amazingly terrifying time. I think this pep talk is for myself as much as anything. But should everything go to plan, I want to be able to look back and know this baby was loved from the get-go, rather than being a source of concern (as caring and motherly as that is).

I'll eat my words tomorrow no doubt, and everyone's different. But whatever happens I want the little blighter to feel cared for, even now.

I certainly have times of anguish but am so grateful for my little BFP.

Clairey the EPU told me 4-6 weeks was normal.

Oh and agree with kitty, dh and I really just ignored my bfp totally the other times we had discussed names etc got excited, this time we didnt discuss it but think we both felt lets just see how it goes, he's just started to rub tummy and nice things since scan a week ago

Kitty I paid £55, £50 is very cheep and definatly worth it for the peace of mind although I'd wait till atleast 8 weeks or more as I've had one at 61/2 and you really could hardly see a thing, I had it at 9 and it was doing a little wiggle/ started to look baby like

hey kittens so glad all is going well for you and your sticky bean :) how much was your scan? gary I think £50 is ace, they were about £80 - £100 when I looked (west midlands).

With regard to the partners of you pg ones! (I will be stereotyping now so bear with me) It's well known that men deal with any kind of issue with trying to find a solution. If you are sad they try and fix it and with mc they are completely powerless (as are we all). So I expect these DHs are being evasive as they know they are unable to do anything at all on a practical level (they can't even knicker check!) so they are feeling a bit useless.
I don't know how to change this really, not even sure how my DH will be yet - I would imagine he will be very matter of fact and try and keep me calm which will probably wind me up.

and blol I was very twingey with my pg that resulted in DD, all sounds good so far :)

almond one knickercam for you (just got to work out some of the finer details!)

ooh thunder look at you dtd already I thought you were waiting for me! I do think it would be very odd to start using condoms though, it just seems unnatural - I sound like a teenage boy now!

Hi everyone, how long did it take people to get their period after mc. Im waiting, been 5weeks so far n no sign of it. Trying not to get my hopes up bt been feeling queezy all week, dizzy, sore boobs n funny tingling feeling in my uterus. Ng test tho. I realy do feel like I did wen I was pg. hmmmmmmm? Can anyone help.x

Aw you ladies are so lovely. Just reading all the nice reassuring things you saying to lol makes me happy to be here :)

Well today, I am hoping that 6 +2 after starting to mc and 5 weeks after erpc my af may finally be starting! Showing signs anyway, please all cross fingers for me I just want to get back to normal!!

Nice to see you here too kittens and great news on the 14 weeks. Reassures me that we will all get there one day!

Totally normal lol, I even bought a new 5 pack of white knickers especially for spotting not made easier by the fact you do need the toilet all day and night! The first part is hard but I think after about 8/9 weeks you start to realise you have no control over what will happen then It's just getting to that magic first scan ( or like me and you get a private one lol) I did all the cb tests too, infact I think my hpt totalled 9 this time just the one for dd so I can hold my hand up to abit of crazy too

Hi kitten
Thanks for lovely message and I'm glad everything is going well. I'm of your 14 weeks. Right now it feels like its forever until I'm there!!!
I'm less panicky than I was earlier but still knicker checking every hour
Thank you for helping me through my paranoia!

Hi old friends < waves>
Name change from kittykatskumkwat
In honour of new bean!
Just wanted to say congrats to those with new bfps particullaly lol and almond as you were stuck on the thread with me, big kisses and don't worry, I think anxiety is the main symptom of early pregnancy!
Not managed to read back but a few pages but as the talk has been around getting pregnant straight away wanted to say that I am, I did it both ways, had a mc waited a cycle as advised then mc again then decided it was fate and went for it and got pregnant again straight away and now 14wks, it's totally personal but I heard both arguments and made my own choice, personally I just think a keeper is a keeper and what will be will be whatever
Good luck to all the other ladies waiting x

Happy Birthday Mess! I'm eating cake on your behalf .

Lol I can sympathise. My DH is very practical and not emotional so I can't really share my fears too much with him either (that's why I'm here!). To reassure you I'm having lots of left hand twinges too. When I had my mc I had right hand stabbing pain so I'm trying to tell myself twinges are normal. Have you been to the docs yet? Also I would definitely recommend reflexology. It has really helped me and is very relaxing. You can find special fertility ones too.

BTW can I order a knicker checking cam??! I seem to permanently have my head between my legs!

Oh god you are all so lovely!!! Thank you so much. My SIL has had 3 mc so DH knows the risks. He also knows how hard it was and doesn't want to get too excited which I understand. We are planning to tell his parents at Xmas if all is well.
I spoke to SIL today who reassured me as you guys have.
Blunder you don't sound flippant at all. And I know you know exactly how I feel.
Thanks again girls. I don't know what I would do without you.
No bleeding been to loo another 5 times so need to keep chin up!

lol, hugs. Maybe he's trying not to get too excited too and he also knows how much you were hurting last time and is worried about being enthusiastic in case all doesn't go to plan. For me, the hardest thing was telling my dad I'd mc'ed because he was so so happy when I told him I was pg. I still get upset feeling like I let him down. At his birthday meal (mid mc) he was going on about how next year there might be more of us, and it broke my heart. I know my dad would be distraught if he knew how I felt, and he would behave differently next time. Maybe your bloke is doing the same.
Take one day at a time. Breathe. Try to be calm. Relax. That's the best thing you can do at the moment. Think of every twinge as being good - your little bean is growing and you're stretching. Cramps are completely different to twinges. Promise.

Take care of yourself. Lots of love xxx

Happy birthday Messtins Enjoy lots of

BLol Sorry OH is distancing. Did the previous mc hit him quite hard? Maybe he's trying to be protective? Must be very hard though, sorry he's not supporting you as you need him to.

Is there anyone else you could tell so they can a) give you support and b) tell OH to man up a bit? Like his mum for example?

Seems very unfair to leave you so emotionally stranded.

If you're getting twinges, twinges are fine. Twinges are little blastobean getting comfy and nudging bits that don't usually get nudged. Think how you'd feel if you tried to stretch in a big elasticy bubble, you'd hit the edges, right?!

It could also be bowelly stuff... I've been getting weird feelings, not just twingeing but crampy (not in AF way) - and it's been a mixture of constipation, wind and runny pains.

It's so easy to worry, I know, but try and stay positive. We're here.

Hey lol, really sorry you're not feeling good. It's really hard not being able to talk to DH about these concerns too.

I don't know if this will be a comfort to you seeing how it turned out, but I had left side twinges and cramping in my early days last time, and as far as I know everything was fine at that stage. Consequently I did a lot of reading about ectopic and from what I understand some cramping is much more likely to be uterine stretching than anything more sinister.

It's totally understandable to be terrified, but for your own sanity and health it would be good if you can find a way of not being so stressed. Easier said than done of course! Can you try and do something to distract yourself even for a short while to give your brain a break?

I really don't mean to sound flippant because I really understand how you feel. Feel free to rant, it will probably help to get the weight off your shoulders a bit!

Happy birthday mess.
Blunder your bfn seems to be almost around the corner! Far play to you for DTD. I didn't for over a month after mc.
My head is in a mess. I can't get happy as I'm terrified and DH doesn't want to talk about it as he says I got carried away last time and it ended like it did. I woke up twice to check my knickers pee and have been to the toilet 4 times since I woke up.
I am having lower abdominal pain. Not af like cramps but I can feel twinges. And also on the left hand side so am now scared its ectopic .
Sorry girls a bit of a selfish post!

happy birthday mess x

blundercat thanks, you made me .

It's my birthday today so ought to be happy, but it's also the third anniversary of EDD for my first miscarriage - I ought to be sharing the day with a 3 yr old, plus I'm working so it's not likely to be a great day. Had some nice presents and a nice rendition of 'appy burthday' from my youngest, so not all bad

almond - great news re the poas and DH believing you now! sounds like you need to stock up on plenty of snacks - fill the pockets of your dog walking coat etc.

kitty chuckles but also Eugh at knickercam!! I poas on Mon and got a very faint +ive. Almost no colour in the line but I think it was a bfp. The bleeding has all but stopped for the moment and we had only had sex once in however many weeks so dtd we did . We decided not to prevent anything happening again and just to see how it goes. I've read those threads too, a lot of people wait and others get of very quickly afterwards. I don't know if we're being controversial. Dc did say wait a cycle....

gary £50 sounds like a good deal and I can understand getting scan before seeing/telling family at Christmas. I don't know what I'll do next time, maybe even though scan is a snapshot, even having that snapshot is a good thing after not having anything last time, Or maybe its better to stay distanced. So tricky.

My local scan place it's £50 for a scan before 11weeks.
Going to (hopefully) go just before Christmas (as we're telling everyone over Xmas)....I didn't do anything pregnancy banned on my Birthday last month, so I'll be very annoyed if I'm good over Xmas only for it to be another MC.

Hurrah BAlmond, glad you're full of symptoms too.

BKittyB, FRER is a First Response early response test.
No idea how we'd make tests that go past 3+....I'd pay for my own ultrasound machine though, they're £700 on eBay!!

That's my rationale for wanting a scan too kitty. And if I was offered one I would take it but probably won't go private, will just tell myself nothing's going to change the outcome. Or at least that's what DP will say, over and over when I'm chewing his ear off.

Hi all, congrats almond - I expect the CB Digi is 1-2 weeks from actually becoming pregnant (i.e. implantation) whereas FF will count from 2 weeks before that, as that is how pregnancy is calculated, so it all sounds good to me (I'm sure someone can explain that better than me if you don't get what I mean).

Also what is FRER?

James sounding good!

Blol I would deffo poas again, but probably hold out as long as possible. I had no idea that the tests only went up to 3+ how crap is that? I think we have identified a gap in the market! That and a knicker cam so we can check our knickers without scuttling off to the loo. I have been sat in traffic in my car and felt like something was happening and wondered if I could get away with having a quick look! decided against it :)

I expect I will go for a reassurance scan next time, I did research them this time as I felt so weird about my pg (after initial just knowing i was pg without testing I went to not feeling pg at all and having to constantly remind myself I was). But, I hadn't considered what you have said Brie and I think you are right, a scan wouldn't stop me worrying the next day, but if I had had one this time round I would have found out at 7 or 8 weeks that there was no baby rather than getting to 11+6. So I suppose if you just view it as a snapshot that things are ok at that time that's good enough. Sorry just rambling now!

blundercat have you poas again yet? not much happening with me - I did read a lot of threads about people who had gone straight from ERPC to pg again with no AF and it has made me think about it a little bit...

Big wave to everyone else x

Yay almond.. Onwards and up up upwards!