Elderberry Pavlovas Unite - the over 30s TTC number 1

So my doc just called and re-scheduled my appointment to 9th of Nov instead of 13th, as apparently there's a general strike from 12th (a strike! In France! Who would have thought, we haven't had one for ..um..days)
Honestly quite nervous, would be such a disappointment if everything has not gone as it should...

Zombies and Pipbin, sorry you are both down. It is shit isn't it, no matter what month you are on.

Zombies, I had written off last month due to DP being away so much, but he was around for the right 12 hrs in the end...I know it's hard to find anything to be optimistic about at times, I have been exactly the same.

Well DP (who was home with me for a grand total of 24 hrs since we got the Bfp) has flown off again til Monday. We are going not going to have the easiest of months as he is away again from 12-27 Nov which will be my week 6 and 7 fingers crossed. I hope I don't develop debilitating MS on my own!! We decided yesterday that I should tell a few close friends so that I have some support whilst he is away...

Oh and I think I have got the tiredness - yesterday at 9.30 I was yawning rudely and shattered by the time we got home.

Zombies, sorry about the N but as we say, it's not over til AF sings!

Oh and NHS says it's safe to have sushi when pregnant.

Serves me right for POASing again this morning being stupidly hopeful

BFN, of course.
-Ok so at least it will be better timing work wise when it finally happens.
-I will have more savings then, at least one month's more worth.
-I can continue to have sushi!

Unfortunately DH will be v busy around ov time next cycle so I don't have much hopes for it.

I agree Captain, MN is such a support.
In a funny way it's nice to have such a continuous cycle of people too. As some head off with their BFPs then there are new people joining waiting for theirs.
I'm so glad my cycles have got shorter, now it's just a week and a bit from the end of AF to OVing, rather than the three weeks it used to be.
I think one of the reasons this time was so hard was because I had spotting for 7 days before AF. I know I was out from then really. Aso, during that one cycle, two women at work announced their pregnancies.

Pip, Bunny, I'm so with you. This month marked a year of trying and when AF turned up this time, on the way back from meeting another friends newborn, I just had to weep all the way home in the car. AF sucks. And absolutely yes to a fast forward button. It's the endless wait - 2 weeks to OV, another 2 waiting to Poas, then round again.. Gah. This is why MN is so great - we really are all in the same boat, and very soon we'll all get to the promised land of babies galore if we just keep paddling, right? Hugs to you all.

Hugs to pip and bunny. TTC is shite. All the fun disappears after the first few months. Then it turns into stress and anxiety.

Don't worry about it Bunny I felt just the same at 6 months as I do now. Some times it just hits you bad.
I'm lucky in that most of my friends know I'm TTCing.
In fact one of them spent 2 years trying and so knows the exact feeling.
I think my problem is that AF is here. I once heard it said that your period is the tears of an unfulfilled womb. Dreadful I know, but it feels like a messy reminder of how I have failed. I think once she has gone and I feel like I am actively doing something about it I'll feel better.

Bunny I confided in a few friends that we were TTC and not a single one ever asked any questions or even brought up the subject unless I did. I didn't feel any additional pressure to get a BFP because they knew about it and it was lovely having someone to talk to other than DH (and MN!) Everyone is different but I found it very helpful.

Poor Bunny. Sometimes you just need to be grumpy, so complain away, that's what we're here for.

Janey I think I've discovered a cure for the tiredness - have been a bit lazy this week so didn't work out enough. Well this evening I taught 2 classes and am still awake and not tired at all. So more sports might be the answer, even if this is the last thing you want to do after a long day.

Balls to what MN say. I am in exactly the same place Bunny. I just hope you aren't here after 14 cycles of trying like me.
I think because I'm off work this week, and I've had the appointment at the fertility clinic, I have just been at home sulking. I have been crying. DH is putting up with so much, and being so positive for me.
Doesn't stop me wanting to scream though.

Oh bunny poor you. Nothing I can say will make you feel better I know, so sending a quick online hug instead

(Apparently that's very un-mumsnetty but who gives a shit)

Bunny I'm with you. Day 3 here and I just want AF to naff off so I can get on with it. I understand.

I found much the same as Quoid. I fade in and fade out on the cheap sticks.
However the actual positive, where the test line was as strong or stronger that the control line was for one wee only. I also used to get tests that were close to positive, but not quite. The line would be dark, but not dark enough. It was only because I was temping that I know I hadn't OVd yet.

I used to get a false surge on around day 14, then the real one about a week later.
For the last two cycles I have ovd around day 14. I asked the fertility consultant about this and he seemed to think it was due to weight loss. However it happened the cycle after my HSG.

Captain I didn't use to use lube, but given that we are dtd whether we are in the mood or not it has proved very useful.

Oh and I also found this video which really cleared a lot of the science of ovulation up for me (apols if it's already been posted in that video spree a way back - my internet is very unreliable and I couldn't get those earlier vids to load)

Thanks quod, that makes sense. winkle I had a look at their website - it's pretty informative. Seems to be a combo of making the way easier for the sperm, as well as stuff that is good for them and keeps them going. Have a look here:
www.conceiveplus.com/

captain ? sorry she got you and good luck for next month. I really like the Clearblue digitals ? no mistaking that smiley face! Good tip pip about using them at every wee.

badleg ? I think the general consensus is every 2-3 days that way you're always covered. I'm going for as much as I can this month ? have tried every other method!

can I ask a question about conceive plus? do you need it if you don't need to use lube normally? or does it have something in it that makes the sperm last longer / swim faster, etc?

Captain, with the cheap OV sticks I had a pattern of the second line getting visible and then stronger as OV approached, and then fainter again, over about 3 days. So for me certainly it wasn't a tiny window.

With the cheap sticks it's not an all or nothing - although it only 'counts' as positive if the second line is as dark as the control, in reality you can see the lines fading in so you get plenty of warning.

It might not work the same for everyone as some people prob have more/less hormone, but that's how it worked for me.

I can try to upload a photo of my sticks to my profile...(yes I kept them )

With the dtd question we took a similar approach to the one you suggested (I would let DP know it was Red Alert Sexy Time when ewcm and OPKs showed OV was approaching, and we'd get as much in as we could in that window!!

So I am right in thinking from your advice, pip and quod, that the surge is very short lived? It only lasts a couple of hours? My, but it's complicated!
Good luck tonight badleg - there's a little discussion a page or tow back about how much sex is good. My doc told me every other day but apparently her info is a bit outdated - correct me if I'm wrong ladies, but I think we ascertained that as much as poss is best? I guess it depends how it works for you. My DH is just too exhausted to manage every other night, so this month I'm going with being more exact about OV and going for it as much as poss for the 3-day window around OV. Not that DH knows this yet..

I got another positive on the ovulation stick this morning. Hopefully I can pursuade DH to get back on it tonight! We have his kids tomorrow for the weekend so tonight may be the last night this month.

How much sex ideally should you actually be doing to conceive? This month I think we have been averaging every other night.

Sorry to hear your news captain.

I used the amazon cheapy sticks too - like Pip said, you get enough to test a lot until you identify when your surge is likely to be.