Round up your ghosties and ghoulies and long legged beasties, the BESH are going to scare out the BFPs!

Oh wow lots of posting since last night! Fingers crossed for all appointments and suchlike.

I know what you all mean about getting all the things in the right place at the right time. I keep wanting to go to see my parents, but we have so much going on at the minute that timing is proving awkward. I don't want to end up there without HOTB during ov time, it would be a hugely wasted opportunity (although bound to be fruitless in any case).

I feel like I ought to go out on my bike, but it's raining and cold and I'm knackered after the F1 denying me sleep all weekend. Maybe it'll cheer up in the afternoon...

Good luck with everyone's everything today, BESHes.

Keeping stuff crossed and waving wands about for excellent baseline scannage and stuff, so you get away with low menopur dosages. Oh and magicking HWNN in the country at the right time.

On aargh timing issues, my cd1 of yesterday does mean another 2 cycles off (because we're off to Italy for two weeks in a month) so we'll have to go for a diff au naturale, I guess.

Well done for forgetting norf more time with AMHN is good for you. I cannot imagine it being a problem. And eek at mentalness follow-up. Having some time off to actually spend with the man sounds good. What did you do in the previous appointment to get signed off, just wailing right? I am sure you can achieve that again!

I have my next counseling sesh on Thursday and am already scared. But in a weird way the writing stuff down has given me a bit of a calm and closure-ish feeling. Also, SB took some pictures of me while diffed and whereas I found them horrifying, particularly one where I clearly completely focussed on what was happening inside me, I now really value it. Too prove to myself I was happy enough and the MC didn't happen because the thing thought it was unwelcome, I love the complete irrationalness of my belly thoughts

I "forgot" hospital appointment yesterday, "lemon", so as to have an extra day with AMNH. About to phone now to apologise and ask of I can come in today. I can't see that it will be a medical problem - they haven't been fussy so far about tests being exactly 7 days apart.

The thing about extra time off is that it would mean it would overlap half term, so AMNH and I could have some proper time together. On the other hand, if the GP thinks there is no medical need for further time off, I might just ask work if I can follow sick leave with a week of annual leave and explain why. Still not really sure what to say to her - I've never been asked to come in for a mentalness follow up session before.

Good luck at scan, frankel. And AAAARGH at HWHNN's timetable. How are we meant to conceive in these circumstances? It's not professional!

Appointment is at 10. Need my baseline scan/blood tests before I know how much to inject.

Got to have a chat with the nurses first as it now turns out that HWHNN has 2 overseas trips in November that will take him away for about 10 days in total. They may say its not worth starting this cycle if there is a chance he will not be here at the right time

Should work well with a bellowing cloak, lined with red silk to stay on theme.

Oh and lusher than lush, eurowitch! I am jealous. I just spent all my money on exercise stuff, and paying bills. Next month maybe...

How did the stabbing go, frankel? Do I need to hold hands (or the vials)?

Yay for missing DA last night as I would have fumed at the telly jefferson. But also, of course, there was nothing to do about long-term TTC at that time. I still feel that the let's-just-try-anything for unexplainednes is a very mixed blessing. Of course, I am happy that it exists, but I just hate the feeling of being on a runaway train hurtling towards IVF and/or childlessness, without any rhyme or reason for the baybee absence.

How's the spotting, faif? And the kidney pains? Hope you're okay!

I missed your hcg numbers of the weekend, norf, is it going down-down-down? And are you ready to go back to work, or would a tactical (or accidental) wail be just the ticket? I'd say ask both the buttoned up Victorian Count Northsome and the belly which is where I store my irrational thoughts

Right, working from home on a course assignement. So I'll be here relatively often today :)

Good luck for the potion-mixing and stabbing this morning, fsr.

How is everything down there, faif? Spotting is a horrid thing to see. Has it all stopped now?

Agreed faif, we'd have all had our heads chopped off if we'd been married to Henry VIII and not produced the heir

I'm feeling oddly calm about tomorrow at the moment. Thankfully I have the day off work, but I anticipate the waterworks kicking in at some point

That's the magik cure jeffers, I thought you knew thag by now. I realised watching that last week that in that era we'd never have had baybees. Our treatment simply wasn't around.

Hope it all goes ok norf. You know where I am if you want me.

euro those boots are lush! :)

We struggled with Sechs Fail too. It was horrid.

Oh FFS I'm watching Downton, the posh Doctor has just said 'anxiety is an enemy of pregnancy'. 1920's relax & it will happen....

I have some boots quite like those, euro! From duo, a few years ago. Their time has obviously come again :)

Sechs fail became a huge ishoo in our house. In fact it was still an ishoo when we had the counselling. Massage helped us - we'd agree to give each other massages - without the expectation of the sechs - the skin to skin contact helped us connect and both relax, it often, but not always lead to sechs. Just don't get any massage oil up your fanjo - it burns!

I didn't mean that bold either.

Sigh.

Ourselves not yourselves.

gives up in despair

Winkly not bloody Wrinkly. Sorry.

Wrinkly what an utter bag of shite :(.

Have some BESHlove. Men are very complicated and mysterious creatures. And wankers. If we are having troubling conceiving then nothing is more guaranteed to make us feel even more shit about yourselves.

The boots of lovliness

Sold out at the two shops I tried! They are like golddust. I stupidly tried them on a couple of weeks ago and ummed and ahhed and then they became impossible to find. But they should be delivered to my office on Tuesday, all being well!

Dune actually have a really good boot selection this year.

winkly it's so frustrating when they won't do the necessary. It's very frustrating. We do all the hormones, the supplements, the dildo cams and everything else, and it is all for naught if they won't put the swimmers in the right place at the right time! Grrrr.

Norfy that sounds like a lovely day, but I understand your anxiety.

Not sure, winkster. Hospital tomorrow, GP on Tuesday, then supposedly back to work on Thursday (ie back in London indefinitely), but that depends on GP's assessment of me. I am sort of fine, I suppose. Massive self-indulgent sigh etc.

Do you know what's caused the sex thing?

How long are you in the Big Smoke for norf ?

Oh Winkly. We all know that utter failure failing. You Are Not One. I have said this elsewhere today but it's worth repeating; TTC is enough to push any couple apart. It is hard, confusing, exhausting.

We just have to take it a day at a time.

Rie if my sister announced she was diffed I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Euro your retail therapy sounds fab. Where were the boots from? I'm on a mission for some boots.

I didn't know you were having sechs fail trouble, winkle? That is hard to deal with.

I have had, on the face of it, a lovely day. Breakfast out. Crisp, sunny walk through fields admiring autumn trees. Roast beef for supper. But I am going back to London tomorrow, so am horribly tense about next blood test result and also what to say in follow up GP appointment about mentalness. And also about leaving AMNH. Though he is working so hard he is not actually all that much use.

oh no Winkly, how come he is holding out on you? MATV has done that a few times in the past and it gets really stressful. He came round in the end, think he just needed a bit of a breather from feeling like he was being used as a sperm donor. I suppose I forget all this shizzle gets to him to sometimes :/

I am sick of diffage announcements, I am sick of my Facebook being full of people's happy smiley baby photos, I am sick of my husband refusing to have sex with me, I am sick of feeling like an utter failure. I am in a very bad mood.