Round up your ghosties and ghoulies and long legged beasties, the BESH are going to scare out the BFPs!

at nob jockey. Not heard that expression for ages. along with bell end. That is what I would have called that insensitive twat of a doctor.

So next week is the expected droid that I will start the IVF drugs. I have to call the clinic on CD1. Then on CD 21 I have to start injecting. I thought it was going to be sniffing stuff first but no, straight onto the stabbing. On CD1 I also have to arrange a stabbing lesson.

I am in a hotel tonight in London. It's not even a posh one. Rubbish.

Just arrived at work. Some fucker has stolen the chocolate I put in the fridge yesterday AND Sexy Man At Opposite Desk has come back from leave with a full-on hobo beard.

This is a bad day.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR

Fucking nob jockeys.

I can play this game. My friend who had IVF got a BFN after her first cycle. At the next consultation the dr referred to it a "successful cycle". She apparently looked at the women incredulously and said "but I'm not pregnant!".

I can see how from a scientific point of view it was a success - eggs were collected and fertilised and the cycle didn't have to be cancelled for any reason. But from a human point of view, to a couple who had been trying for a baby for years and just had that devestating BFN, it absolutely was not a success!

Idiot fucking doctors. My sister bled heavily at the start of one of her pregnancies and the consultant said "why are you crying, its only.a baby"

Idiot thoughtless doctors

PS I did check my work email and have some document open to work on, which will happen NOW.

I am ready to come along and kick her sorry ASS on Monday, norf. A list sounds good. Really hope there is a chance to do it naturally I am quite scared of ivf but I have no faith in those things for us. I really hope your doc is helpful, even if a tat insensitive.

At least with me, even evil doc realised that a MC (or an ectopic) really is not a success story. Mine are unsuprisingly keen to get me back to treatment (and he seemed irritated by our hollibobs interfering, although admitted that those are good for people).

Another 8 weeks, dot that is AGES :) sorry for the cow-feeling, but getting in the mood for producing loads of milk sems apt in the run up to birth!

Am currently writing a list of questions for my next session with her on Monday.

I think what it is going to boil down to is whether in her opinion I should waste spend any time trying naturally with remaining crap tube, or just go straight to private IVF.

lemons - not due for another 8 weeks. I feel like a huge fucking dairy cow at the moment.

I am really angry with him for you, lemon. Why are they sometimes like this?

Mine, when I saw her last time, was all chirpy that she had made me ovulate and seemed to consider this a success story. I was walking out the door when she flung out casually "Sorry it was ectopic!"

Okay, it is official, my new lesbian crush is norf. Maybe you can come with me and shout TWAT in his face next time. This is the head of our clinic who has a bit of a god complex and I have real issues with him, already before this particular consultation.

That Problem? What did he mean? Did he mean the problem of having a dead baybee in you? What a twat!

Also, I realised why I am so ranty, darling doc said: "so we've solved That Problem again", referring to my first ever pregnancy. That didn't go down well. Combined with the lack of note taking.

To be fair all the other (mostly female) docs and nurses I've seen through this MC have been wonderful, and supportive and stuff. So I'll just continue dreading having this one do scans and say stupid things.

Back with an approved womble of wonderful cleanliness. And I shocked the doc with the rate of cycle return. He could not believe it was only a month since actual MC and he couldn't have known because the stupid bints didn't put in my notes that I did have a SPONTANEOUS mc despite me ringing them and telling a nurse and a different doc during the "has the embryo left the building scan" a few weeks ago. GRRR I hate having to tell over and over again that yes, I did pass the thing all by myself.

But I bought myself a pain au raisin on the way home and I should probably do some work now (at least check work email ).

I have to admit norf, I don't mind talking to the counsellor about what happened less than I would talking to my GP, but then he was the one that suggested getting diffed might help against the infertility angst. Well fanks. You're so helpful.

So, I have come back all ranty. It is okay. I have a purrfect womble. My next cycle will fall during out hollibobs, but I should be able to squeeze one in afterwards and before Christmas.

Good luck for clinic and confirmation of a nice clean womble, lemon. And for a rapid end to the psychological bumsplosions.

And well done on looking at the photos. There are some of me and AMNH from a weekend away a few days before the fateful scan. I know what you mean about the "looking so happy" thing :(

We didn't discuss counselling this time, but she wants me to come back in a fortnight, so I will ask about it then.

Am really hating all thought of Christmas this year.

Oh and MASSIVE congrats to faif. Finally read the news.

And at the thought of ice cubes being involved in self-stabbing. That is something I won't do (stubborn face) and agree with euro that a drop of blood now and again is normal.

On TMI, my body has realised we're going to the clinic again and in stressy anticipation decided to empty out the bowels. Well fanks.

Just reading back:

Huge well done on emailing norf (and while these things are so difficult, I fink being off is more than okay).

Haddocks to buggy hubby (forgot his name temporarily), he needs to learn to talk. Sorry time is not there for the pair of you, it all sounds shitty. But massive sharks to mrRie for not telling people. Stern look to him, it is much easier if people close do know although SB still hasn't told his parents about the MC and I am worried about comments when they come for dinner next, but hey, if they do comment, we'll tell them, or actually I'll wail and that will be clear enough

And winter hollibobs. In avoidance of SILFH we're looking too, varying wildly from Peaks, to Lakes, to Cornwall. But I'll add Norfolk to the list, so we can all crash at Frank's for drinks. Not at all of euro...

at tunon. I need nice soft surface and dry but not hot weather to tunon as well. Just like morpheus - if he does well in later races, will you change your name again, frank?

Morning hags!

I mostly hate fb, but since I hid all my friends when first diffedness arrived, I am generally in the dark about the second baybees (but then they call you, which in some ways is worse ). But on other days I enjoy fb, because I am a long way from many uni-friends and I enjoy their updates (especially about cocktails and careers, to stay on feme). So I have not left, but i limit it.

Love the pox to the fail draff! They are evil (and anxiety inducing when they keep on showing pics of undiffed but should be soon Middy). Which reminds me, I was brave and looked at the photos of me diffed (it was our anniversary weekend so many were taken) and I looked so happy, but also quite fat, I guess it was the gas. But I am proud of myself, as it is part of facing up to what happend. Which reminds me, norf did you opt for counselling? (I'll read back in a minute, so might find out). I did see I can cheer for your doc for signing you off for a bit longer. Enjoy the time in Wales!!

Frank I am happy to admit that I am jealous of besh-baybees, but at the same time genuinely pleased for the diffed ones. In RL the latter is sometimes difficult to achieve. (And faif still happy for you). Btw *dot shouldn't you be laying that baybee of yours very soon? I'd love a live birthing sesh on the fred :)

Oh and keep your kittens (that sounds rude to my dirty mind!) because SB will actually leave me, if I bring them home. And I am allergic, so I'd need him to do a bit of the looking after. Let's just make a baybee to wear him down.

Thanks for the floating turd, euro. You lot do know how to put me off breakfast . We went to Venice during our honeymoon (Sept) and it was luffly. Wondering along canals, art, snogging, good food, shagging (eventually, of course the droid arrived the day we did in Venice), laughter, amazing pics with evening light and the water, etc. Whose going?

I haven't read back more than this page, so any insensitive missing of stuff comes with apologies, but I need to get out to the clinic to get one more check up that the womble spring clean is complete and we can start TTC again. Joy... as I have some time, I will actually attempt to read back, but it is loads

Are you up yet Faith?!

I'm knackered, like really knackered! These drugs are wiping me out. I'm going to have to go to bed stupid early tonight as I've got to get up for an early meeting tomorrow.

And yes, BESH babies never make me feel jealous . We all know how hard we have to fight for our wins. It's the smug differs that are the problem.

I was inspired by yours dor. I'd never actually thought to admit to fertility ishoos til you did yours.

I don't want to get out of bed! :(

I thought your diffed statement was nicely done. I tried to do the same thing when we announced ours.

Faith you witnit! Real BESH babies are always A Happy Thing.

A pox on the Daily Fail, and all who sail in her!