TTC first child, anybody else in the same boat? Thread 2

Evening and thanks for all the messages and hugs. I've just had a lovely dinner and beer and not thought about af for the whole day.
I too would go back to work full time after prob a year off. Love job and have good career and am higher earner. I don't think about labour or id give this whole thing up and get a puppy

Sorry lol and lily.

We always thought that I would have to carry on working, but we've looked into it and I would be worse off if I worked! We don't have any family nearby to help out, and the ridiculous nursery fees here cancel out what I earn. We're not entitled to any help no matter what I do. So it doesn't make sense for me to carry on working (I don't love my job, so I wouldn't miss it).

Can I just complain that it's only 25th of September! How come? it will be ages, ages until I have any reason to even start symptom spottig and POASing..

Thanks rache - you see all these feckless people with kids and you do think- surely I could be a good parent!
I am sure it will be perfectly horrendous but I don't think my ideal scenario of 8 months off is going to work..

I'm not too worried about the birth bit.. yet!
Child care and financials and how I will manage work alongside are my main worries if I'm honest.
And the "what if something goes wrong with the pregnancy/ foetus" thing.

The birth part does not even begin to register in my baby plans, i'm refusing to acknowledge it. If it did I think I would stop trying! I was present at an (allegedly straightforward) birth 7 years ago and the nightmares have only just stopped. It was like a scene from Alien

janey I indeed prefer not to think about that part in detail
I figure though that while it's certainly no walk in the park, most women nowadays manage, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't be able to. Luckily the health care here is fabulous and they don't have any ideas about telling women to "embrace the pain" to save money on epidurals.

Rache - like hazle I would have no choice. My bf is quite a lot younger than me, and whilst he has a very good job for his age (haha makes him sound like a teenager - he is 29!), I'm still the main earner. So back to work for me it would be. I'd hope to be able to take up to a full year off though - thankfully I bought a property at 23 so was just about on the ladder before all the massive increases, and as such we can afford the mortgage for our house on just one wage for a short while. Even without the financial issue, I think I would want to go back after a while; my best friend could have stayed at home after her DD but chose to go back (part time admittedly) as she missed it, and I've been much more career focused over the years than her... So can completely understand why you'd want to go back.

Is everyone, like me, totally wanting to get pg, and thinking ahead to working/childcare/maternity leave etc, but handily blanking out the whole childbirth part of the timeline?!

xx

Oh and maternity leave here is 3 months only. 3 months! I'm from a country where we have not just maternity, but parental leave and it's 3 years. Bit of a culture shock, let me tell you.

I'm pretty sure it will be absolutely horrible to go to work leaving a tiny 3-month old home. But rather this than sending DH out so we would not see him for weeks and weeks..(especially considering that we also have a herd of pets that need attention).

Zombies Wow, you will deserve a medal for juggling a 4 month old baby and a full-time job. I hope DP/H will be giving you a big hand? And there's no 'if' about it - we will all get there. I was unfortunate enough to see some of Jeremy Kyle this morning and if those inbreds can get PG anybody can!

HazleNutt You sound like you are in an ideal position to carry on working. I would not need to work for financial reasons but I suspect I may need to work for reasons relating to keeping sane. I really don't like the idea of being a kept woman!

Of course it's only reasonable to think about and discuss child care issues before you decide to have one.
I will continue working - worked too hard to get to this position, and am also the main earner. For DH to make the same money, he would have to go contracting abroad working crazy hours, whereas I work 10 minutes from home, so it's reasonable for me to keep working. Part time is not an option either.
Luckily DH has his own company and can work from home, so he would be the WAHD. (We can comfortably live on my salary only, so he could work when the baby is small just to keep his cv and contacts up to date). I would guess we will have to find a part time nanny too, for times when DH has to go see customers or just needs time to actually work.

Must Resist Urge to POAS too soon!

Due to numerous reasons I will have no option but to continue to work full time after (if?) I have a child. So I would take the full paid maternity leave- four months in my case- and maybe see if I could get a month more but I'm afraid it's a nursery after that...

What are everyone's thoughts on going back to work post-baby (I realise this is jumping the gun a bit!) versus being a stay-at-home Mum?

I enjoy my job and have worked hard to build a career which I feel reluctant to give up, but I also have issues at the thought of putting our baby in full-time child care when he/she is very young, both for the wellbeing of our baby and for the things which I would miss out on in his/her development.
Part-time would not really work in my job (although I know my employer would have to try to accommodate it if I requested it,) and there is no question of DH staying at home with baby as he earns far more than me.

I'm not even PG yet so this will not rear it's head for a while, but it's in the back of my mind and I wondered what everyone else is planning to do?

Can't stop bloody symptom spotting. Twangy uterus? More like indigestion!

Sorry to hear that lol

Pregnancy tests aren't cheap are they? Bloody hell- at least £3.50 apiece. Should buy shares in First Response..

I'm sorry too lol

I bought my clear blue ones from amazon as they were pretty cheap there vs boots, if you wanted to give them a try x

Oh sorry Lol

Morning girls. Been feeling pretty shite after af turned up yesterday.
Think I'm going to use the rest of my cheap opk this month and if no luck will but the cb ov sticks. Will also have to have a serious chat with DH regarding mid week sex when it's ov time.
This whole thing is wearing me down

Bottom of the list for me, af now due 24th October, cycle 3, can't seem to copy and paste the list on
iPad!

Double-pronged attack of charting and cheap OPK sticks Janey! I have a textbook chart this month which is very unlike me - ov is very clearly 11 days ago.

We are off to the south of France tmw for a week - looking forward to a little adventure with DP, even if it is rainy.

janey I used the clear blue digital ovulation sticks for the first time this month. I ovulated the day after I got a smiley face (I felt it this month).

I'm guessing through temping or using a fertility monitor like the cbfm.

Silly question for you quod, but how do you know you're 11 DPO? Am I bring an idiot?!

I really do hope you are wrong with your feeling for this month but you're right - many oysters and much wine if you're not pg! Where are you off to on holiday?