Does 'relax' and 'not thinking about ttc' actually work?

I got pregnant on honeymoon when I'd ditched the opks etc and just drank gallons of rum cocktails and shagged solidly for two weeks.

Strawberry sorry to hear ttc is getting to you. I'm sorry but the relax and it'll just happen hasn't been working for me!

Since starting out on this ttc journey just over a year ago the fiancé and I have had excessive amounts of relaxing holiday time and have been to LA, Miami, Dubai, Ibiza and Mauritius. If going on holiday gets you pregnant then I'm obviously doing something seriously wrong!!

I do think however excessive worry and anxiety isn't good for you, the mind affects the body after all. Anything you can do, yoga/ meditation/ cooking/ anything you enjoy will help you relax and take your mind off things.

In my case, my cycles are so mad that I feel I can't get away with not tracking my cycles, doing OPKs and temping - how can I just relax and let it happen if I don't even know when I'm going to ovulate? There is however an argument for just doing the business every other day from as soon as af stops until it comes back again......

Anyway best of luck to everyone, we will get our BFP's!

Hi Strawberry,

I am so sorry you are feeling so down.

As others have said before me, if there are medical problems, relaxing won't fix them, and weight / lifestyle issues can't be ignored. However, stress, anxiety or depression can impair fertility and affect baby's development. As someone who is prone to stress and anxiety, I can sympathise, and appreciate that 'just relaxing' is easier said than done!

Have you considered counselling or 'mindfulness' courses? I know a number of people for whom the latter has been very beneficial.

Myself, I am on cycle 2 TTC. I'm not doing OPK or temping. There is no limit on sex, so I don't think it'll make a difference, and it's one less thing to think about. What I am doing is: marking down AF and DTD on a calendar, not drinking, taking pharmaceutical drugs or eating Brie (except for AF days!), making sure I eat healthily and exercise. I have not been making long term commitments such as holidays abroad, although we are still dong everything else such as UK breaks and camping. I have had to step away from auditioning for plays at my amateur theatre group, but I see no reason at all to give up things like reading!

Good luck everyone and take care

Been trying for 6 cycles now and am just wondering how long other people have been trying for so far?

No, I don't believe in the "relax and it will happen" approach based on my experience.

In my case I went to the GP after 8 months of TTC and DH and I had basic tests a couple of months later. Many people would say 8 months is far too early to worry, and indeed the NHS guidelines would often not recommend tests at this "early" stage (luckily my GP is lovely ).

Those tests revealed that I had undiagnosed, unmedicated hypothyroid. I had no symptoms. I got pregnant the second month after starting medication for it (the first month I believe I had a chemical pg), so the 11th month of TTCing. I'm now 28 weeks pregnant . Perhaps I am unusual in having such an easily diagnosed and fixed problem, but in my case it was certainly worth taking action sooner rather than later.

I also have irregular cycles (due to PCOS), and DH and I work long and unpredictable hours, so the EOD approach wasn't going to work for us. I needed to use OPKs and have timed sex!

Had I "relaxed" and waited for nature to take its course, I believe I would still not be pregnant now.

strawberry I wouldn't say "relax". But I would say, try not to let it change your personality if you possibly can, try not to let it ruin your enjoyment of other things. Easier said than done I know. I was a proper misery for months and it was pretty horrid for my DH .

Yes and no. We TTC'd for 2 years 8 months. Investigations found DH had previously undiagnosed health problems causing a low sperm count. He started on treatment when we were at the 2 years TTC mark. 8 months later I got my BFP. But I also got my BMI under 30, started exercising more frequently and he cut down his alcohol intake. I'd charted, used OPKs. The month I got pregnant we were on holiday (but camping so not massively relaxing!) and we just had sex a couple of times around the right time.
So in a way, yes, when we relaxed it happened. But it would never have happened without the fertility investigations and treatment, so no! :)

Tried for 10 months, used ovulation kits, bought loads of books, googled all day, completely obsessed with all baby making matters. Despaired at my long cycles, decided it just wasn't going to happen until we got some help. Stopped using ovulation kits, stopped testing each month and just got on with life while waiting for referral.... Bingo pregnant!! I know it's really hard, but it happens when you least expect it....good luck!

Red because my cycles are never the same and because of the length of time I've been trying I never symptom spot - I just don't allow myself to do it!

I firmly believe that when I'm pregnant I'll 'know' I'm pregnant.

I'm a reasonably relaxed person. Two and a half years of relaxing has not yielded even the sniff of a diff, so I'm now going to try Medical Science :)

Good luck OP.

I agree with WorkingItOutAsIGo that it should be a 'fun and magical' time, however the reality is that it isn?t. My husband and I have said that what started out as being exciting and fun has turned into anxiety and worry because we've been trying for a year and haven't even had a whiff of a second line.

So I feel for you red. I know exactly how you feel.

I think you are going through the stages that we all go through on what I call this crazy roller coaster of TTC!

I've tried but not tried, tried, done SMEP, tried all the various things like epo, grapefruit juice, etc, used conceive plus, OV sticks, CBFM - practically everything!!

I've resigned myself to the fact that it will happen, I just don't know when and all I can do is keep trying :)

I'm finding this month of focusing on eating healthily has been really good for me but you have to get to this point by yourself. I can't tell you to stop thinking about it or relax, etc, you'll get here - or you'll get pregnant first!!

I'm another positive example!

3 years of trying, then the month before my IVF appointment finally a shocking BFP - So yes I would say 'relax' and try not to obsess over TTCing.

Good luck

Seriously, you are taking this far too obsessively for someone who has only just started. This is the beginning of learning that once you have children you cannot control your life, or theirs, and that you have to relax and let nature and fate play out (of course there will be times when you may need to help it - but after five months of TTC you are not at that stage yet).

This time should be fun and magical - you and the person you love having lots of sex and hoping to make a baby. Throw away those tests, keep taking vitamins, and otherwise just eat healthily and have fun having sex.

My story - spent 2 years TTC my much wanted DC3, gave up and took on a promotion at work instead - week before I started the new job had very drunken sex during my period without protection and bingo - instantly pregnant. Was very at work but personally .

Tried to conceive DS2 for about 10 months with no success. After much stress, I told DH that we were NOT going to try this particular month as I did not want a Libran child (plus I'd got pissed off anyway). Told him to pull out before ejaculation.

...guess who's got a (lovely) Libran son? :)

No for me as a) that is impossible to do if you are ttc and b) after six years they thought I was infertile but did a Prolactin test. That was way over the normal range and I got pills. Then it went below the normal range which consultant said was OK. Still no BFP. Then we moved house with a bit of lodging in-between, I forgot to take the pills for a couple of months, the Prolactin level went up into the Normal range and bingo!
So basically if they haven't tested yr blood for that, get them to do it. It tricks yr body into thinking you're already pregnant.

Sort of, after 18 months I had an appointment to see why it wasn't working.

Had to cancel it because I got PG with DD1, I guess I sort of relaxed thinking nothing was going to happen until after I'd been.

DF got PG as soon as she turned their box room into a study. Her older DCs are all IVF, and she was certain her family was complete.

I'd say no. TTC 2 years. Nothing. And in that time I've been on foreign holidays. Been pissed. Never taken my temperature. Had plenty of distractions, some enjoyable some very much not. I'm not pregnant. I've just had a poor AMH result so am now as far away from relaxed as possible. But... I'm trying some woo. Reflexology, acu and even found a fertility hypnotherapist. Will it get me pregnant? No. But I'm instead thinking of it as calming time that makes me feel less stressed about not being pregnant. Lots of the stuff I'm being taught does imply lower adrenaline is a big factor in success, and I'm not sure I buy that. But as I said, if all the Woo makes me feel less like crying into my pillow, then it's a win for me.

I had PCOS, multiple investigations,tried clomid etc. We totally gave up and decided against IVF and accepted we would be childless. Got pregnant. So it does happen.

5 months is nothing.
Trying for 8 years. Gave up, went on foreign holiday- got pregnant.