BFP in 2012 Part 2 - step away from the COD and into this thread.

It's like there is a tiny hole missing in your heart. That there is a hole missing and it's specifically something that is a part of you and your husband.

That's how I said it. That I was so happy to be married to him and everything is great but that little "Mr and Mrs Kick hole" needed polyfilla

Have you tried speaking to your DH?

I think mine started to panic when I told him how I actually felt. He said he didn't know what to say but that he doesn't want me feeling like that. I told him to support me and tell me that it will be ok (which he did - so I told him to come up with his own bloody ideas! Women!)

Anyway, what happened was that we spoke about for a couple hours and he managed to inject an ounce of practicality into my failed mind and I actually do feel better.

I think we should be able to explain it to them.

Your nurse sounds nice kick :)
Yes in hindsight its probably safer and kinder that you didn't conceive.

I will listen to the song tonight.

I keep telling myself that it will happen
But until I see it happening I won't be able to feel completely happy.

I can't discuss it with anyone in RL....scared that they won't understand how I feel.

I am glad I have this thread and all of you guys to talk to.

OH and listen to this song - I reckon it will cheer EVERYONE up

red I know it's shit mate. I do think it will happen - there is no reason for it not to. I just honestly think that our bodies know us slightly better than we know ourselves.

My DH (bless him) started off feeling agitated when I was trying to explain how I felt about the failure and about how I just wanted to be pregnant and couldn't switch it off. Then we started to count back to every month we've been trying and we looked at what happened with the diabetes and the practical side of it is that we would have been happy if I'd fallen pregnant earlier but looking back from this side, it's better that I didn't.

It's definitely a coping strategy since I need to be able to move forward on this and not feel so negative and overwhelmed so it's just one angle that I can take it from. Obviously, that's the benefit of hindsight and of having a full fucking YEAR to look back on and analyse.

I emailed my nurse and asked how sure she was that it was the diabetes and she said "You'll have your baby. I'm always right"

Red I think we all understand exactly how u feel. All of my friends have kids already or don't want to have any. Which is why this is so hard!

Oh red I understand how you feel mate x

So sorry when :(

red it's good that you're letting it out. I know exactly how you feel. I am surrounded by pregnant friends, some who've struggled and some who fell pregnant on cycle 1. It is super tough. Really very hard to cope with.

Right, I'm about to head in for my blood test. Yuck yekety yuk...will be over soon right :)

I don't know how I am going to get through today. I woke up and remembered in the 4 months that we have been trying 4 people have announced their pregnancy, except us.

A lot of crying this morning and the weather reflects my mood. I am not jealous of their pregnancies. I just want mine. I just want a baby. I want to be a mum. I want to talk about 12 and 20week scans. I want to go shopping for baby clothes. I want to just be FUCKING PREGNANT!

I am feeling very and at the same time. Sorry to get the thread down again.

My 3 friends who were pregnant last night were happily discussing ante-natal appointments and scan experiences. They kept checking my face to see if I was okay. The thing is they really deserve to be happy as they have all had a tough ttc journey. mine is nothing in comparison. But I can't take any more of this. I wish I never had the CP and that I was still pregnant and the BFP was getting darker and I was part of the 'happy pregnancy club'.

Right I must pull myself together and stop crying. Just need the day to be over. Sorry for the me me me rant :(

Sorry she got you nicola will see you on the sept thread

nic am and for you, can't believe it. Your body must have been on progesterone overdrive the last week or so then. That's a pain about your wedding day - how big is your dress? Is having AF going to be wildly impractical?

Big hugs to when

Hope everyone is feeling a bit chirpier this morning.

I still have one shot this cycle before then!

But my app says I'm actually due the day after the wedding as my average cycle length is now 29 days.

Deep breath and carry on.

Nic I'm so sorry af got you :(

Sorry abt it happening again when get lots of cuddles from DH and treat yourself to some wine and choc.

Gutted abt AF nic you can drink on your wedding day and hopefully have a honeymoon baby

Faint line yesterday...AF today :-(

I knew what was happening at about 5 this morning when I woke briefly.

I'm also now heading for having AF on my wedding day. Hmmm.

Oh girls- wish I could give you all a big hug- its such a hard, upsetting time.

kitty - so gutted for you, truly. I hope the next few days are ok, you poor thing.

nic - fx for positive news in a day or two.

whenshewasbad- so sorry- what a shit thing to happen again. I definitely think you should go to drs- there might not be anything that they'll do at this stage, but atleast it'll be 'logged' officially, iykwim? Your uterus isn't a piece of shit love, it will carry a lovely baby for you one is these days. I know what you mean about feeling you're letting your oh down, I felt the same when I had my mc. But that's ridiculous thinking isn't it- imagine if it was the other way round, you wouldn't feel let down at all if the shit-boot was in the other foot. Be kind to yourself xxx

All of you lovely ladies be kind to yourself, we will all have babies one day, of course we will x

When so sorry. We're here if you need us.
Nic the saga goes on and hope you get some answers soon. BTW, sore boobs for about 3 days pre-AF for me.
Red saw a friend today who's just had a 12 week scan after MMC a year ago. She's been thru the mill so, like you, was genuinely happy for her. Nice, warm, fuzzy feeling. It's good not to feel "grr".

Yeh me too red. I am having a whiskey and settling in for positively next month

Although I don't think I can take any more pregnancy announcements

Just going to bed very sad and sorry for myself. I'd give anything to be pregnant

Ditto when. I will get over it soon.. Nothing else for it

What is it with the pregnancies?!!