Partner doesn't want to try yet, but i'm desperate

Well she only had another 2 years to wait now...

I don't think you should feel that you need to "shut up". He should not make you feel that way especially about something that is so important to you. Do you tell him to shut up about music? I bet not.

Be careful he is not one of these guys that plays the game and acts committed in his words but not his actions. There are plenty of blokes that do this and lead women up the garden path, wasting precious years of their fertility.

Waiting five years with someone who is not even married to you is a big gamble. If you want a baby now and not in five years then I'd suggest putting it to him that waiting 5 years is a deal breaker for you and if he refuses to negotiate on it, then you have a decision to make. It will hurt far less leaving him now and having a baby with someone else, than it will when getting into your 30s and suddenly finding you are starting from scratch and the clock is ticking loudly.

Just I completely get where your coming from.

Ive been desparate to have children for years im 25 and it took be 4 years to persuade my dp to ttc.

Sadly 16 cycles down and were still not pg.

It does make sense to buy a house etc before kids (weve already done that) but if hes really not ready sadly going on about it doesnt work (I tried lol) he will get there eventually it might even be earlier than 5 years.

Pinkapple why does she need to be married??

There is no single answer to this. You can't change his mind, so you have to work out how the wait will affect you - could it damage your relationship? Are you absolutely confident that he'll stick to his word and start trying when those five years are up?

As a woman, you also have to work out how you'd feel if you turned out to be one of the unlucky ones who have problems getting pregnant when you start at 30, and then find yourself moving into a more dicey age for conceiving. As others have said, how many kids do you want and what age gap? Since he is making you wait, but as a woman you bear the risk of age-related conception and pregnancy issues, these are important things to think about (even though big problems are unlikely to occur to 30.)

I think for me the biggest problem in your situation would be the sense of putting my life on hold for someone for that long, and to get over that I'd genuinely have to be able to embrace a different path for a while. Only you can find out if that is possible for you - it isn't always.

In my own case, I had my two sons at 35 and 37 btw, and may try for another, so I'm not anti older motherhood. But I waited and took the risks because I had just found the right man till then, not because anyone made me wait.

I really think you should look at your relationship, 25 is a perfectly good age to have kids ! Maybe you should go out with someone more mature ? To be honest if he's into gigging and music that may never stop being his thing...

I am in the same situation now. At the end of the day you cant force someone to have a baby if he is not ready. I learned the hard way. As us females get older and are hormones change and when we feel emptiness we feel like a baby will complete us but our partners may not be ready. So if you're that desperate go out and get knocked up. I know I'm ready for a baby but my boyfriend isn't so who knows where I will be.

Also consider how many kids you want and a minimum gap.
Im ttc no 2 and 35 soon.
People also suffer secondary infertility.

Apologies to anyone offended by me saying, wanting to run around, I have hms and hip issues that'll get worse with age. I didnt mean physically at that age your body gives up, just mine will lol x

There are lots of advantages to having DCs young but there are lots of disadvantages to getting pregnant by an immature partner. Try to separate these two issues. If you want kids now find someone who wants them now too. Or DIY.

Wait until you've been trying to have one for years. Then you're ready.

People are never ready when it's handed to them on a plate. When you have to work for it, you're ready

Yes I am 30 and still quite capable of running, thanks! I'm in better shape physically than I was 5 years ago, in fact.

That aside, I think you're right to wait, there's no sense in pushing someone into parenthood before they're ready, and there's a lot more to life than doing childcare.

I guess you have to consider what you'll do if 5 years go by and he's still unwilling - unfortunately some people do string their partners along, not saying this is the case here, but you do both need to be very honest with each other.

We started trying when I was 29 - I am 31 in November so it may also not happen just when you want it to!

The thing to do is be as right as you possibly can and hope for the best :)

You can still 'run around' with your child even if you have them at 30.

Whoops - the couple who fell pregnant after 6 months of dating have subsequently stayed together and got married when their son was 6 years old

Also, 2 years together is fairly early in a relationship to be trying for a baby

I completely disagree with this. I've known couples who were together for 6 years, had a baby and split. And known couples together for 6 months, had a baby and split.

There is no time limit. It's up to each person to decide whether they are ready or not.

That said, your DH is clearly not ready. So sadly, you will have to wait until he is ready. I would just make sure that it's not something he will "push" out. I had a friend married for 10 years and she battled, even when they were trying, to get support from him because he wanted to be young forever. He was 36 when they STARTED.

Make sure you will both be on the same page in 5 years time. Otherwise, you will miss out and you will have to start again. Clearly, it's important to you and he needs to understand that as well

I am the same, my partner would rather wait but we are just seeing how it goes, I miscarried November then February, nothing has happened yet, few symptoms this week due on Friday so we will see.
Either way the feeling will never leave you.
I have wanted children for years, it's what I want to plan my life around, I don't want my job to be to important to care for my children and I also don't want the inability to run around with them. Im22 some say too young but I say just right.
I think you need to explain to your partner just how much it means to you, my partner knows I think everyday about the babies I lost it will never leave me, we are both very happy.
Some people don't get a choice to have children.
He needs to know how you really feel about it deep down.