Rainbow babies- for all of us holding, pregnant with and trying for our rainbows. While remembering all our darling angels

Oh blizy that really is so crap. Why do they bother with the consultation if they can't offer you anything afterwards except to make you feel - justifiably - abandoned?? It makes me so And so sorry for elly too; you are having such a rough time as well.
Agree with angel - is it worth you both contacting Sands for any further pointers on what to do? Or your hospitals? ARGH, why do these things have to be so hard? Really feel for you both. Wish I could do something to help. Lots of love xxx

Elly and Blizy MASSIVE hugs. It is such a huge thing to ask for help, it is just unfair there doesn't seem to be any available. It is such specific help we need too, general bereavment counselling isn't quite right and I am horrified they would suggest a charity for unwanted pregnancy!!!! I have heard good things about compassionate friends, and SANDS. Though SANDS seems to vary quite a lot by area and the one up here isn't great.

I must admit to feeling a little abandoned by the NHS. For three months after I had Dexter, I had no contact at all from the consultants. Luckily for me I had a wonderful GP who pushed and pushed for me. I don't think I need counselling exactly, but the birth was really, really traumatic and frightening and I would like to talk to a doctor who was there and work out what happened and how I feel about it. And hopefully get some answers as to what I would need to do differently next time. Luckily I now have an appointment next month.

Is anyone else on the clearblue trial? A box arrived this morning and it is enormous!

blue what a lovely thought, thank you so much. I just love the support from this thread, i don't know what I would do without it. I don't have anyone in RL (except for dh, although he is a bit crap at times).

hugs x blizy wish I could give you my consultation... cause at the moment I don't feel like I need it so much...

blue I have no idea!

I just had my phone consultaion, and this was the solution. I feel so abandoned. I clearly need help, it took a hell of a lot for me to admit to it and ask, really what was the point?

blizy why does the NHS not offer you any counselling? I referred myself as my GP told me I could do that... having first session next week...

elly It seems we are in the same position, except the NHS are not offering me any counselling, they just gave me a list of charities to contact! The main one being Care confidential (who seem to specialize in abortion,and unwanted pregnancy counselling). I am at a loss.

Ellypoo sorry ... I m popping on as at work too!!! Can you acess counselling via work? Don t know what you do ... I had my counselling through my occ health dept ...you re not un-important you are Nancy's mum so push for counselling... What about contacting SANDS for any info? Xxxxx

Hi everyone
Sorry can't name check everyone, am just popping on at work, busy day because want to finish early to meet some of my 'mum' friends for a glass of wine later!!
Got letter from counsellor at my docs yesterday to tell me that she has an 8 week waiting list and if I feel I need help before then to contact a local charity for counselling instead. Feel a bit unimportant somehow, don't know why but just feel a bit let down, even though I knew before that she had a long waiting list. I suppose it doesn't help that a) OPKs haven't shown any ov this month (first month of using them...) and b) I can feel that AF is on its nasty way.

On plus side, we should be moving in 3 weeks so got tons to do with packing and getting the new carpets etc down, but hopefully after 3 weeks, a lot of the cause of my stress at the moment should be over.

Hugs to all xxx

Thanks all, yes I made it to the supermarket - even braved the shouty neighbours and washed the car beforehand. Was really glad I'd done it all. But still can't quite believe that this is my life...

little9 bathroom sounds lovely! Also, that's good advice from first, to ask the hospital bereavement services to chase up Daisy's pm results. Or if not then can you leave messages for any doctors whose names you DO know, and ask them to contact you? All stressful, I know - but it can make a big difference. (We have had E's pm results from the neonatal consultant, but are having a report prepared for us by the obstetric team before meeting with them, as we have so many questions. For us it hinges on the issue of placental abruption or vasa previa - the pm 'suspected' vp but wasn't certain - so we've asked for some more research to be done. Won't stop us ttc but if it was an abruption it would significantly change the management of a second pg, if we are lucky enough to fall pregnant.)

mecha so glad for you. Also that you are not in hospital for tomorrow. Will be thinking of you; these are hard days.

How is everyone else doing?

I am out of hospital now, which is a huge relief as Dexter was due on Saturday and I really did not want to be in there then! I could feel myself getting anxious and shakey and just wanted to get home and be with DH.

Thank you for all your kind words. So so happy this op is going ahead. I could not have coped waiting 2 years. Glad to hear your op went well Diffedagain Gives me hope! I am more nervous and more of a worrier than I used to be.

Someone asked about Malignant Hyperthermia, it is an allergy to general anesthetic which causes your muscles to contract and expand out of control. This causes your body temperature to rise and the rest of your organs and things to shut down. There is an antidote which is 90% effective, but if they know/suspect you have it they just use different drugs. I have a 50% chance of having it as my Mum definately does. SO I am getting my own specialist team. Because I am so special!

Little different situation for me in that we didn't have a post mortem on Dexter, since we know why he died. He was just born too soon and his lungs weren't strong enough. But we still have no idea what caused me to go into labour early. We are going to start ttc anyway, after the doctor advised us there was no reason not to. Do you have a friendly GP you could talk to? We actually have an appointment with the cousultant who delivered Dex in September so really hoping for some answers then.

Moomin glad the stitch went ok, I am sorry it was so umpleasent. But worth it in the long run!

Fan sorry to hear about AF. That sucks in the worst possible way. Fx for this cycle.

Hello again Firsttobed and congratulations.

How did you get on with your brave day Kleine? Sometimes little things we do feel like massive achievments. Because they are! We have had such a rough time, we really deserve some credit.

Hello as well to all I haven't namechecked. In my defence, I am on tramadol! Everyone here is so kind and supportive, it is lovely. I am glad I have like minded people to share the ups and downs of this journey with xxx

little hi. Please don't think me rude for commenting but we started ttc before the PM results were through and were lucky enough to be successful. However, the PM showed that we have a genetic problem with a high chance of recurrence. They are still doing tests which we hope will be ready very soon as this will contribute to how we manage this pregnancy.

I kick myself that we didn't wait until the PM results were though, we just didn't ever think that there might be an underlying cause. I know that this is only my experience, and hopefully pretty rare (at least our condition is!) but it may be worth considering waiting until your PM results are back. I found that the hospital bereavement services were great at chasing the report for us. We were told initially that it could take up to 16 weeks though.

Hello ladies. Congrats to wtw. So glad you have a lovely little rainbow with such a lovely name.

Sorry I've been absent again for a few days. Have been busy getting a new bathroom. Just need to paint the walls tomorrow and it'll be finished finally! It looks very posh!!

mech - hope you feel better soon and glad you'll be joining us ttc soon.

fan - sorry to hear of af. Hang in there.

moomins - glad it all went well. FX for you.

Kleine - hope the shopping trip went ok.

Hi angel - I'm doing alright thankyou. Have been slightly emotional the last few days, but think that's because af is due this weekend and my house has been in turmoil whilst the bathroom has been done.

Still haven't heard from consultant about Daisy's pm results. Would ring up and chase, except I don't know who to call as I don't know the consultant's name. Am gonna start ttc again after af anyway, but wondering if this is a bad idea and should wait for results. Confused and frustrated.com!!

Hello and sorry to everyone I have missed off, but am too knackered to check posts again and have a brain like the biggest sieve in the world! For the returning ladies I lost Daisy at 20 weeks after my waters broke unexpectedly.

Have got a full weekend coming up so will catch up with everyone as soon as I can. Hugs to all, xxx

Mecha - I had my gallbladder removed two weeks ago after massive probs and I now feel much much better xxx. Good luck with the op xxx

Ladies, thank you all for the welcome. I'm sorry for your losses and wish you every luck in the world in your rainbow baby journeys.

Did you make the supermarket kleine? We're not in a big town so supermarkets were slightly easier for me as the chances of bumping into anyone unexpectedly were remote. I found it much easier to plan before I went out who I might meet and to be prepared for that - but was able to do so.

mech hi again. Are you out now? Really sorry to hear that your gallbladder has caused you such problems again. Do you have a date for your op? Fx for all going ok.

I have been a really lazy lady today. Had a lovely lie in, took the children out, then so exhausted when we came back, I slept for an hour. Fortunately I've got help this week. When things get back to normal next week I'll be off to be with the children at this rate! Night all x

Mech sorry you feel crap, glad you re op is soon xxx as Blizy said bring on ttc xxxx
Hi Blizy & Fan how are you both doing? Xxxx love to u both xxx

Kleine well done.little steps xxx
Razz indeed they grow so quickly don t they??? I want Phebs to slow down a little !!! Gosh, time really is flying by... Xxx
Firsttobed hi , sorry for your loss & congrats... My dd: Georgie was stillborn on 10/10/10 & I ve since had her sister :Phoebe on 18/10/11. A very difficult path but can be conquered as our dear wtw as just demonstrated with delightful Holly.
Hi all ; love to all xxxx

Mecha- hope you feel better soon, I'm glad you are getting the op after all. Not long until the ttc commences.

A million congrats to WTW! Such a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. So glad she is finally here.

Haven't caught up properly, I have been in hospital since Tuesday with pancreatitus (AGAIN). Still, the upside is, my op is going ahead in September! They are bringing in a specialist team, because if they leave my gallbladder in there then I have a much much higher chance of getting really ill. I am in a bit of pain, and I could have done without the hospital stay, but so delighted we can start ttc in a month and a half! And I had the Duke of Edinburgh for company too

Hello to everyone I haven't met yet, and hugs for us all, good times and bad xxx

wtw how are you doing with your lovely rainbow?

Whatevertheweather congratulations on the safe arrival of Holly Elizabeth. Absolutely worth it she sounds like a little poppet. Well done as it is daunting and nerve wracking isnt it but as you say so so worth it when you gaze at your beautiful new baby girl.

Love the names by the way as DC1 DearestCat called Holly and DD2 middle name Elizabeth.

Congratulations and enjoy every moment of it. Much love CM

Hi all. Sorry didn't read through properly yesterday - hello firsttobed (and congrats! SO hope all goes well) and razzdazz and dachs. I can't believe how many ladies are on this thread. So sad. But lovely to hear of rainbow babies! Our little daughter E died in June aged two days. We are about to start ttc again.

moomins excellent news that the stitch went in fine. How are you feeling today?
and fan how are you?

AND not forgetting wtw and the lovely little Holly! Hope you've all had a wonderful first 24 hours together. I can't quite imagine the huge mixture of emotions. Thinking of you all and esp of Erin xxx

green I was thinking of you just yesterday! Really glad to hear your trip is going well; we know you're carrying Merryn with you, she'll always be in your heart. I love that you picked up a special pebble for her. Hope your cycle sorts itself asap.

I am (possibly) going to brave the supermarket today. Have just had deliveries up to now. But I am feeling strong even though going there also involves driving the ginormous new car that we bought to have room for a car seat and lots of baby stuff... ...

Waves to all, I hope you have good days x

razz my AF's are a bit irregular when it comes to bleedings, but I think that's to do with the fibroids, and they would make the lining thicker in some places. I am going to wait a few cycles and then go to the doc's and see what they say, ask about my fibroids, maybe ask for another scan to see how they are doing.

first welcome to the thread, but also so sorry that you find yourself here. My daughter Ophelia was stillborn nearly 16 months ago now, and I have suffered two miscarriages since. I hope this thread gives you the support that it has given me.

dachs so great to hear from you, was only thinking about you yesterday. And congratulations on your LO.

Really sorry I've been crap and not been here for months. After I lost the twins I never thought I'd actually have a baby and Cammy is now nearly 18 weeks. My heart bleeds for everyone that has to experience what we went through. But hold on to the hope. Xxx