Rainbow babies- for all of us holding, pregnant with and trying for our rainbows. While remembering all our darling angels

Evening everyone.

I was so moved by your lovely words FAN your so gifted with words x

WHATEVER: You have been in my thoughts all day.....I am still in the very early stages of grief but was thinking of something my DD said to me....'you wont ever get over this........but one day you will come to terms with it' How long this will take.....I've no idea but ANGELS description of the 'Raw Pain' almost 2 years on gives me a good idea. Thinking of you and your beautiful daughters tonight Happy birthday Erin xxxxxxx

MIA: What lovely words posted from the wise MrsDevere some people have a way with words x

MECH: Its a long road and I'm so glad you don't have to travel it alone. Thinking of you x

Tayto: A warm hello, I'm new here too. So sorry to hear you lost your lovely son. Daniel is a lovely name.

Thinking of you and all our angels tonight xx

PS Fan: thank you for all your advice went the churchyard today. I took some silk flowers for now to put in one of the pots. We have been working the soil and will plant some bulbs as soon as the ground settles I love seeing the crocuses as they pop up anywhere in the spring so would like to plant some x

Hi blue < waves back >

But enough of me. How was your day wtw ?

I'll be lighting my MN candle to remember Erin this evening x

Thanks fan (perhaps I'd better shorten it to that ?!) It's good you're looking out for everyone

:)

juggling welcome, I hope I didn't come across as rude, just hoped I hadn't missed you earlier in the thread. This is such a haven but its also sad to think there are so many of us on here.
Any support is welcome.

Hi fanjo. I'm just here because I find this thread very moving (& such a beautiful title caught my eye) and I'd like to offer some support if I can - but I do appreciate that the best support is often offered by those who've also lost a child. I was also on wtw's thread last year and was so pleased to learn here of the birth of Holly I know you are all thinking of her and Erin especially today.

I have changed my name slightly for The Olympics - and am planning on keeping it for the Paralympics - was JugglingWithTangentialOranges previously - and various other random objects I've juggled with previously for different themes.
I'd like to reassure you that I mean well, even though like many I don't always know what to say x

jugglingwithfiverings not sure we have met before, I don't recognise your name, or are you a name changer?

Mech xxxxx

Welcome Tayto sorry about your Daniel xxx my first dd was stillborn at 41 weeks on 10/10/10 ;Georgie. I ve since had my 2 nd daughter ; Phoebe ... The whole experience is truely sad & awful ... To loose a child is , I think , the worst experience ever... Take care ... We re here for support xxxx
Love to all xxxx

Tayto, I wondered if you'd like to tell us more about Daniel and the short time he was with you ? Only if you'd like to of course x

WTW really thinking about you and your beautiful girls today.

And welcome Tayto Sorry to hear about your son, Daniel. I am glad you have your family around you and are surrounded by love. I also love your username, I hope you don't mind me saying! I am an expat exiled to Aberdeen and the only thing I miss more than Mr Tayto is Veda bread!

Thank you everyone for being so kind to me. I guess we have all been through a terrible time and need to be self-indulgent sometimes! I have a wonderful husband and family who love me. I have kind and thoughtful friends. I have the support of everyone on here. And I have my little boy, who has changed me forever and I love with all my heart.

Will be thinking positive thoughts for us all today, hoping we all keep our heads above the water xx

tayto welcome, so sorry to hear about Daniel.

Oh Tayto, I'm so sorry

Your post is so beautiful - and you seem so strong. Am glad that your DP and you are able to support one another, and to hear of your love for your beautiful daughter too.

Thinking of Daniel and Erin today, and their wonderful families

Hello everyone

I have been lurking on this thread for a little while. There is so much love here for the beautiful little babies who came too soon, or left too early. You are all so brave and inspiring.

Yesterday we said goodbye to our perfect little boy, Daniel, who arrived at 23 weeks. We love him and miss him. But we are ok, and very grateful to have our little girl who is full of joy.

I was very moved by Fans words about how our little angels have had an impact on our lives. Fan is right; although our little boy is not here, he has changed us already; we are now so much more aware of how love works, the fragility and beauty of life, and the importance of being fully in moment. Daniel has shown us how strong and resilient we are; he has shown us that we can cope, and that we can be there for each other. Daniel has helped me see the infinite love i have for DD1, and how lucky we are to have her. Fan is right, my little boy has taught me so much in the short time he was with me.. I am forever indebted to him..

Thinking of your little angels and sending you all love and hugs. And many congratulations to those with new little rainbows.

whatever remembering Erin. x

mecha as lovely wise MrsDeVere said on the bereavement thread recently, grief is like a tsunami. It engulfs you, unexpectedly, and there are surprise aftershocks for months to come. Float on top of the huge waves, allow them to carry you into calmer waters. Yes, you will be scared and swallow lots of water, but you will make it through. x

fan thank you for such beautiful, apt words. Absolutely perfect. x

Mech I also felt I stayed in 1 place for months... It was dark, ; mentally & physically , cold, ( was the winter when wr had all the snow & ice) , depressing, long drawn out days. There was no hope ; it lasted for ages then literally overnight it was spring coincidentally as my mood was starting to lift .... You re still in the very early stages of grief personally , I don t remember feeling any better for about a good 4/5 months ( that's only me though) ... Surround yourself with good RL support & take from them , if u can xxxc

babyH we loved Euro-Disney. Phebs went on 3 rides we ll definatly take her back in 3-4 years.... the whole place was magical . Cx
Mech to feel negative is normal ... Don t apologise for your feelings , their yours & you ll probably find most if not all of us have felt like that at times... To loose a baby/child will certainly make anyone feel negative ... Take care xxx
Fan beautifully posted , so elegantly put. I wouldn t have changed ever having Georgie , obviously apart from the obvious, as she did such a lot of good : raisiing awareness , raising money, showing me the good family & friends we ve got , so much good....then she opened new doors for us with Phebs... She contributed largely to who/ what I am today... Bless u xxxx
( not in a religious sense ... As u know I m not!!!!)
Love to all of us walking/ fumbling through this awful experience... Xxxx

Erin happy 1 st birthday... Love to your family xxx

wtw thinking of you today! Happy first birthday Erin! X

wtw thinking of you and your little family today. Happy birthday to Erin, gone too soon!.

Just popping on to say that I'll be thinking of wtw and Erin tomorrow. Will be busy dog bothering this weekend so may not get on here for a few days.

Hello and big hugs to everyone else, xx

wtw - thinking of you and your family for tomorrow x

wtw I don't think I'll be able to get on tomorrow, so wanted to post tonight to wish your lovely Erin a happy birthday tomorrow. I hope the day is gentle on you. Will be thinking of you and Erin xxx

mecha we all struggle that is life, he is proud of you Im sure your his mummy. You made him and cared for him while he was inside you. You made the best desicions you could. And never be sorry for it.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling like you havent moved from a situation, from a time before you fell pg. I feel this way all the time, sometimes I hear me say 'when I was pg' and I think 'was I', I dont feel like I was. It doesnt feel like it was me, I am a different person now. I make different desicions because of hwat has happened to us, I am more vocal now about what I wna to happen and also I dont care who hears what I say.
Those first few months every morning and every night I would relive Fi's birth in my head, and then it changed to several moments with her. Grief is a strange thing, but its something that helps us through.

fan that is exactly it. I'm sorry, of course if it was a choice between what I had and nothing, I would never choose not to have had Dexter at all. I just get so angry at life sometimes. I am working hard to be the sort of person he would have been proud to have as a mother. I struggle sometimes.

first I hope you feel some peace at being past due date. I know I do, but it is still such a difficult time. Thinking about you.

WTW thinking about you and Erin. Like Klein I am glad you have your family around you, and so sorry Erin is not there too. She will always be with you, but like you said it is just not fair.

I am feeling so negative at the moment. Sorry this is coming across so much on the thread. It's like I was strong and brave for his due date, and that passed, and I have crashed again a bit. Just missing him. It's like nothing has changed, and we are in exactly the same place we were this time last year. even though everything is different.

There might be a lot of sadness here at the moment, but there is also a lot of joy and so much love!