Rainbow babies- for all of us holding, pregnant with and trying for our rainbows. While remembering all our darling angels

Oh Elly fan summed it up perfectly - a mixed bag for sure. Also here for hand holding over the next 2 weeks. Has the spotting stopped altogether now? Sending sticky growing vibes your way xx

Mecha how did you get on this avo? xx

((hugs)) Blizy perhaps give the ad's a try and see if they help? You've been through so much my friend. How long will you have to wait for the results of dh's SA once he's done it?

Hope you and dh can work out the alcohol thing fan it must be hard feeling like you are doing all you can and he's not xx

Yay for good m/w appt blue and that homebirth plans are taking shape. Re ds's party I'd do the weekend before or after as the wednesday is Halloween so people may have plans or that might just be me as I love Halloween and might have some of Katie's friends for party tea and trick or treating!

Well done on your solo trip Kleine xx I like going to see Erin on my own - I can chat to her more freely and take my time making it look nice again

We are your friends elly that's not weird at all!

Thanks lovely ladies - I'm so glad to have 'met' such supportive friends (can I call you that? It seems weird when we haven't met, but in a lot of ways I can talk to you all so much more than i can in RL).
to you all xxx

Ah elly- that must be like torture, like fan I am here to hold your hand. We will get you through the next 2 weeks. X

elly we will be here to hold your hand. Clutching to the positives is all you can do.

They think that the bleeding is most likely implantation bleeding, or maybe coming from somewhere else (in short, they have no idea!). Feel really mixed to be honest, and I just know these next couple of weeks are going to be really hard. The nurse that we saw after the scan said that they couldn't see the foetal pole (I think that's what they called it?) which could be either because it's too early, or that it's not going to develop. Just have to wait & see & keep hoping really. At least it's in the right place though, that's something I suppose.

elly that is a mixed bag, how are you feeling about? Could they tell you what the bleeding was about? Fx for your next scan that you get to see that little bean.

Well, they couldn't see anything really on the main scan, so did an internal - could see a pregnancy sack & yolk sack but no heartbeat or baby, they think it's just too early (although I'm 7 weeks by dates, I ovulated late so I think I'm about 6 weeks, which is in line with this scan), so they have made me another appointment for 2 weeks when hopefully the foetus will have developed. It's not all over yet - they are pretty sure that it's just too early, but we'll see in 2 weeks I suppose.

mech, I hope your consultant appointment went ok and that they were able to give you some answers.

I'm on ADs blizy - I didn't want them, but I was really struggling to cope, and they have lifted my moods a bit, and the idea is that they will give me the strength to start counselling, and then as my counselling progresses (I haven't even had 1 session yet), I will reduce the AD's.

My DH didn't give up drinking at all, but I did make him cut down!! I pointed out that if we were to conceive, that I would be giving it up completely for 9 months +, so surely it's only fair for him to cut it out for a couple of months or so to at least give us the best shot. Men have still got the easiest part of TTC though ;)

wtw, what a horrible thing for that lady to say, who really ought to know better. I would be really p*d off too, not fair.

blue, I would probably do it the weekend before DD1's bday.

Hope you're ok Amy, I'm pleased your consultant is looking after you, and I hope that you settle in well to your new job, really exciting!!

elly still thinking of you x

blizy this will make you laugh: I remembered a few days ago that you'd said your DH's SA was mid Sept, and I was about to ask when it was, when I thought you might think I was a real weirdo for remembering about his, ahem, appointment with a cup, so I didn't say anything
I'm so sorry you're struggling. Lots of love and hugs from me. Hope your gold-dust GP appt materialises soon. Please do everything you can to help yourself out. ADs really DO help if you need them. (Long and boring story, but I had M.E. for eight years in the past, and obviously my life was very limited, and equally obviously I suffered from depression at various points. Looking back now, I wish I'd taken the ADs when they were offered to me. I probably would have been able to get myself together a lot faster, and looked at treatment options in a far more positive frame of mind, and probably got better sooner. Not at ALL the same - but still, I do wish I'd taken them for a bit.)

fan hugs for you too xxx

I have just made my first solo trip to the cemetery. It's a half-hour drive away, and we tend to go once a week together, which is all we usually want to do. But today I just wanted to go by myself... it was really nice, insofar as 'nice' describes sitting at my daughter's grave with tears pouring down my face. Glad I went.

Thanks blue and fan. I have the same problem with Dh drinking. He thinks because alot of babies are conceived when people are drunk it doesn't affect sperm! I told him last night he will have to stay away from alcohol next weekend as his sa is on Tuesday.

Need some advice.. DD1 will be 4 on 31st October, during half term... when I will be 38 weeks pregnant, so I would like to do a soft play party, which means not a lot to organise on the day for me (unlike last year when I did it all myself in the parish centre) Do I hold the party on her actual birthday? which is Wednesday, or the weekend before or weekend after? Will people forget it is on during half term?

blizy I know exactly where you are at. It sucks! Im just waiting for my scan on monday, keep thinking its going to tell me the worst and I might have to look into adoption. It scares me a bit to be honest. I think if it comes back to say everything is fine I will still see the consultant and maybe he can help out. After DH saying last week that he would give up alcohol, he went to the pub yesterday and had a cider. I dont want to have a go at him just yet, I want him to realise himself, Ive tried in the past to tell him that Alcohol effects sperm but he thinks Im nagging and because we conceived Fi while he was drinking then its all fine.
Its not like he drinks loads though, but I feel Im doing so much to get pg and all he has to do is stop drinking is that too much to ask? Sometimes it feels like I am battling my body, Dh and the whole world to get pregnant, that cant be healthy.
I hope you get your doc appointment soon and he can help out with your depression, I was put on AD's once when my Grandad was taken ill and I took them for a week and then flushed them down the loo. But I know they can really work, my BBF is on them and is much better. Hope it works out for you too.

blizy hugs! if you'd like to talk, you know where I am x

fan DH made us eggy bread for lunch I eat mine with sugar (it's a Belgian thing) yum!

Fan, if I'm honest things are a bit shit. I am trying to get an appointment with GP (gold dust comes to mind), i think I am going to start on AD's.
Dh has his sperm analysis next tues, so we will await the results before taking things further.
How are you doing?

lurking to see if there is any news from elly.

blue thats great news about the home birth, hope the consultant lets you. Also great news all round, and yes I think you could scoff a few cakes and choccies, think you deserve it.

mecha hope your ok?

blizy hows it going? Have you heard anymore from your doctors about getting pg?

Elly- I hope everything is ok?

Mecha- thinking of you, I hope you get though the appointment ok.

Blue- glad all is well.

had midwife appointment this morning, wasn't my usual midwife as she was on holiday. Bump measured 29 cms, which means it only grew 1 cms since 28 weeks when I measured 28 cms. Is that an excuse to start scoffing yummie things? Baby is apparently head down, I couldn't figure it out myself and pushing nicely on my bladder (noticed that). Blood results were fine and urine this time as well! :)
Seeing them again in 3 weeks. I asked about the home birth and midwife said shouldn't be a problem as long as consultant signs me over to them after next check up!

I hope everyone else is ok! x

Thinking of elly right now.
Also of mecha for your appt later.
xx

elly I'm glad at least your consultant is looking after you. Good luck.

Just a quick update: got a scan at 12.20, spoke to my consultants secretary this am and they've got me an appointment straightaway - really scared but glad we'll know one way or another quite soon. Will let you know how it goes later.
Thanks for all the good wishes & handholding - really need it x

mecha thinking of you also.

How are things today Elly? really hope you get seen by someone xx

Hi Amy sounds like a busy time for you! Glad all going well with the pregnancy. You're about the same as me I went back to work when I was about 8 weeks pg with Holly - did make it easier knowing it was only for 6 months. Hope ds settles soon xx

Good luck this afternoon mech is that for post op follow up?

Taking Holly to Jiggy Wrigglers today with my friend and her baby Am sure she'll sleep through it all but never mind!! Still tempted to de-friend that lady but would like to go back to my sands group at some point to say hi.

Keeping my fingers firmly crossed for you elly. Will you be able to see someone at the EPU and get a scan today? Even if it's too early to see a heartbeat, it might put your mind at rest if you see something... I had my first scan when I thought i was about 6 weeks, and it turned out I was more like 5 weeks, so didn't really see anything. Scan a couple of weeks later was much better. I really wish I could ship my wonderful gynaecologist over the Channel to you - he gives me as many scans as I want, and I just don't see why, when you've been through what we all have, the NHS can't provide the same...
wtw - I don't blame you for being annoyed. I seriously think Facebook is the work of the devil sometimes. People post things without thinking. I've lost count of the number of "helpful" comments I've deleted from people over the last few months. Deleted a few "friends" as well, which made me feel better :)
Sorry to hear af got you blizy
I really hope that Mia's birthday went as well as it could for you mias. So glad that you're on the path to creating her special wood.

Sorry for not name-checking everyone, and for not being on here much at the moment. I just went back to work on Monday after my maternity leave and it's been a bit hectic. DS1 is still crying every morning when I leave him at maternelle so I get a daily dose of guilt :( Apparently he's fine once I'm gone, but I'm finding it quite upsetting. I'm also in the process of getting recruited to a new job, which will mean I have to work fulltime for 9 months. Worse timing ever, but the job is great. So, I'm torn between feeling very happy, petrified about working fulltime again (I do 80% time now) and guilty about having to put DS1 in the afterschool club more :(
Apart from that, I think everything's still going well with my pregnancy. But, since I've had a mmc before I'm not taking anything for granted just yet. Should be about 9+1 and have another scan next week when I hope and pray that I'll be about 10+3. Terrified that it'll all go wrong at any minute.

Thinking about you today Elly

WTW I did see that comment on your photo, and thought that mustn't be meant as mean as it comes across! With the extra backround into she just sounds like a cow. Defriend or quietly block?

Consultant appointment at 2 and feeling really nervous. Will catch up properly later.

elly I hope all is well, and you get to see a little bean today if you have a scan. Thinking of you.