Rainbow babies- for all of us holding, pregnant with and trying for our rainbows. While remembering all our darling angels

poppet my boses head !

Am now the proud owner of two pairs of trousers that fit! Sounds like you might need a shopping trip too, blue...
amy glad interview went well, and that DS was ok with your DH dropping him off today. Also that DH will go with you to the scan. Anything that relieves stress even a little bit is good, isn't it.
fan wiifit boxing sounds fun. Who do you imagine you're hitting?!

amy good luck with the scan, glad the job interview went well.

thanks mecha and amy they do creep up on you, I know I shouldnt think about the what if's but sometimes you cant help it. Everything else has gone so wrong that sometimes its hard to see the light and think that something good might happen. I was told that my fibroids had nothing to do with Ophelia dying, but I cant help think that they contributed to it. They must have made it tight in there. I know its going to take longer for me to get pg because of them but Ive been pg twice since and they didnt stick, but they may have changed which now might make it impossible for me to have a baby. God I wish my scan was tomorrow.
Ok this is the last time I will mention it all untill I come back on monday. Ive got to get out of this ditch! Ive got to buck up and get on with stuff, Im fed up with me whining. Im going to get on the wiifit tonight when I get in and work off this mood with some boxing.

elly how are you today?

poppet how did the mall visit go?

blue it must feel pretty good though to know that you have burst out a little bit? I lived in leggings and tracksuit trousers when pg elastic is your friend! Indulge in a new pair you deserve it.

miasmum how are you my lovely? Hows that bump?

miasmum and blue how are the name lists going?

angel I really hope you enjoy your holiday and that you and Ant can reconnect more. Phebs is such a well travelled baby!

green how is it sinking in?

spilt Downton would usually be my thing, but I never got round to watching it. My brother in Aus loves it and when he comes over here in Feb hes going to take a trip to Highclere where it is filmed. I would love to watch it, hoping it will be repeated again, as Ive missed the last repeats that are still going on on ITV2.

Congratulations green. Definitely here for some hand holding over the next few weeks.
Great news on H's weight gain wtw. Sounds like you're both doing really well.
So sorry you didn't get any answers mecha. We didn't get any explanation for Thomas' death either. I guess I was kind of expecting it, but I still found it hard to handle. I hope you're not too upset today.
fan - I'll be thinking of you for your appointment on Monday. You've already carried one baby, so I'm sure that's not going to be the explanation you get. I hope they can give you some answers though about future pregnancy.
karen Glad to hear your positive news, although so sorry to find yet another person on this thread. I still find myself shocked at how many people have to go through the trauma of losing a child. I'm (hopefully) also around 9 weeks pregnant. Trying not to stress, but failing :-(

Job interview went well this morning. Should find out before the end of the week if I've got it or not. DH dropped DS1 at school for the first time this morning and it worked well, so that's stopped me stressing so much about having to work full time. Workmen at home should be finished tomorrow, so hopefully then we can have a bit of quiet time as a family. DH and I realised yesterday that we're both avoiding talking about the pregnancy, and avoiding sex (which is not like us) as we're really both so terrified of losing another pregnancy so soon after Thomas. Have another scan in a week, so DH is going to come along and hold my hand.

green congratulations lovely lady! now take it easy! and I hope the next however many weeks will go by very quickly! x

welcome karen and congratulations!

I couldn't do up the zip of my favourite pregnancy trousers this morning :( think my hips have widened.

mecha I am so sorry that you were given no conclusive answers (even though you hadn't expected any) and that you have felt so awful after the appointment. It really does sound like it was such a difficult conversation with the consultant. Please know, all over again, that you did NOTHING wrong. You would have gone to the moon and back to save your gorgeous boy. There is lots of love coming your way from me xxx

green !!! Congratulations lovely lady! I'm quite sure that Merryn would have been delighted to have a little brother or sister - I will be hoping and praying that all goes incredibly well with this pg. Keep up the good crocheting work... sounds like a stress-reliever as well.

karen likewise congratulations to you, and sympathies with the incredible amount of stress you're under. I am so sorry that the hospital haven't been more helpful. I hope you find suitable howling opportunities when your DD is elsewhere - let it all out... - or come on here and rant away at us xxx

fan I'm glad your DH is going with you on Monday. It's hard not to imagine the worst case scenarios, isn't it? Never forget that you DID carry a baby successfully - if it hadn't been for the terrible accident with the cord knotting, your beautiful little Fi would be here - you WERE able to carry her and look after her perfectly.

elly how are you today?

wtw just wondering if you have had your biopsy results yet?

Love to everyone else. Sunny day here. I am thinking of braving the shopping mall this afternoon (I don't do too well around crowds at the moment...). But I need some trousers - I may have lost the pg weight but I am definitely a different shape at the moment, and none of my trousers do up.
We have our consultant appt on Friday - the one with the obstetrician who wrote up a report for us on what may or may not have happened just before E's birth. We're hoping to get a further opinion (ie more than she was prepared to put down in black and white), although like mecha we both understand we are unlikely to get one.
We were back at the hospital yesterday, too, for another psychologist appt, and saw a frankly unlikely number of just-going-home newborns - almost as if, as a group, they had decided to attack us - find it really, really tough to be around tiny babies, even if it's just passing them in a corridor. Find myself wanting to tell the parents 'we have a baby too'...

Mech. So sorry I nearly forgot you. Sorry you didnt get any answers. You and your lovely boy are in my thoughts xxxxx

Morning ladies.

Quick post before the school run.....and counselling.

Green: Your post brought happy tears to my eyes so pleased for you : )

Elly: Talking of future rainbows how are you? Hope the spotting has subsided x

Fan: Don't give up you could still carry a baby even if you do get bad news. A friend of mines wife lost 7 babies to early mcs including one lot of twins . They had IVF because the consultant wanted to try and pin point the problem so they want to watch the pregnancy from start to finish. Sadly the IVF failed but they did conceive and carry a baby naturally in the end. Sorry for rambling what Im trying to say is try not to worry about the unknowns for now, I know its hard we imagine all kinds don't we......just a couple of wks ago I had no AF and convinced myself I was going through the change xxxx

Kliene and Blizy : Hello lovely ladies hope your ok xxxx

Split: This thread is incredibly busy....I can't keep up either ha ha Dont think we've met properly I'm fairly new to the thread. Waves : )......so sorry you lost bobbie x

Karen: Dont think we've met congrats to you too xxx

Angel: It is really hard juggling work and everything isnt it...I don't know how I'm gonna cope when I have to go back. So glad I'm on mat leave....not long till your happy hols xxxxxx

Amy: Try not to stress about work chick....not easy I know. At the end of the day its a means to an end. They would have to be really lousy to punish you for being pregnant xx

Hope everyone has a nice day today.

Back later x

PS So sorry if I missed anyone. Cant keep up at the mo!

Things are good thanks Spilt xxxx Phebs totally adorable & gorgeous . She's now 22 lbs at 11 months!!! Work v busy but life good . Really looking foreward to our hols next week... Indeed there's only 1 day between Bobbie & Georgi's birthdays... Then 8 days after is Phebs... Xxx
Elly really looking foreward to Ibiza ... So can t wait xxx
Huge congrats green excellant news xxxx
Love to all ; off to bed ; knackered xxxx

God this thread is busy, it's taken me ages to just read today's posts!

Thank you to fan, angel, Kleine and wtw for your lovely words. I am so glad to have this place and know you lots understand, it really does help.
How's things angel? I know our girls' birthdays are only one day apart so it's soon for both of us xxx Hope your holiday is fab!

GREEN!! Congratulations! What lovely news I remember that dazed disbelief and repetitive POAS. I still have a little envelope with all my sticks in from Freya, nicely lined up getting darker.... there's about 15 tests in there

Karen I think I remember your threads about your DS when you were pg and found out he was so poorly. Were you on MN then or have I muddled you up with someone? Please do tell us his story and name if you feel able. We're so sorry you find yourself in this shitty club, but also a big congratulations on your BFP xx

wtw well done Holly! Freya's only just getting to 20lb now and she's 13 months

fan so glad you and DH have had a good chat and reached some understanding. It's too hard to feel like you're carrying the can alone, you need him on board properly. I think it is completely reasonable to put him on an alcohol ban until you get a bfp, you will have to be on one for ages!

elly what are you seeing at the cinema?

Is anyone else enjoying Downton?? I was so very very happy to hear the title music again Big sigh of relax and get lost in it again. Though Matthew is being irritatingly obsessively principled about Lavvy's dads money.

mecha so sorry you didnt get proper answers I hope you do soon.

blizy I hope you get that appointment soon, I have my fx for the sperm analyis.

Dh and I have had the talk and well he has agreed to cut out the alcohol only having a single pint at the pub if he goes. So Im happy about that, he also apologised again for not taking it seriously the past couple of months, he said the whole ttc has got to him a bit and it has ruined the mood. It made me a bit upset to be honest, weve been trying to hard, so we are going to try and be more together in this and be more romantic and equal. Not leave the ttc to just one. Hes already been asking me when Im going to ovulate which fx will be sometime this weekend or early next week.
He has also taken the monday off to come to the hospital with me, I told him that I was a bit scared that they were going to tell me I cant hold a baby, he said dont worry we will do IVF! Had to explain to him if I cant carry a baby it means IVF is useless to us and we would have to think about adoption. But anyway we decided that we were thinking of unknowns and its best to go with what we know at the moment and not try and second guess what the future holds.

elly enjoy your bed, its the best place for you. How has it been today?

Sorry BLIZY, cross posted. I'm glad you have a good GP. They are quite hard to come by I think. There is only one in my surgery who's worth seeing, and she's always booked too! You will get there, and are getting there.... X

Thanks FAN and WTW. I really wasn't expecting it this month even slightly, not sure why, but I wasn't really sure it would ever happen again for us. I'll just have to let the time pass I guess, and try not to think too much! I treated myself to a new crochet book today, with some little blanket patterns in it. That's as close as I'll probably get to planning for an actual baby! Dp is of course sure we 'made' the baby in Italy! Not a great grasp of biology!

Green- amazing news, do happy for you!

Mecha- I'm sorry you didn't get conclusive answers. I am glad they have a good care plan for next time though. I hope you are doing ok? X

Karen- I don't believe we have met, congratulations with your pregnancy, i hope you have a boring and healthy 8 months.

Thanks for all of your support, it really does mean do much to me. My GP is actually very good, hence why her appointments are are so hard to get, also she only works 3 days per week and I am limited as to what days I can go because of the mindees. I will get there though, one step at a time.

Yay for Holly's weight gain wtw!!

Well have had a lie down, now time for cinema - really just want to light a fire & snuggle up but will enjoy it when I'm out.

wtw brilliant newsm well done Holly!

Oh green this is just brilliant brilliant news I know it's scary but we will be here all the way. Honestly doesn't seem like 10 months has passed since I posted on here with my bfp!

Holly now weighs in at 8lbs 4ozs! She has put on 1.5lbs in 10 days bless her

Hi karen, congratulations on your BFP, and I'm so sorry about your ds. Have you got an EPU nearby that you could ask your GP or consultant to refer you to for an earlier scan? It's bound to make you worried - it is very scary going through subsequent pg after a loss.

Oh Green Im so happy for you, thats brilliant news. You will not upset any of us, we are all here to support each other in ttc, carrying our rainbows and then the life after their birth.

Thanks Elly.

Don't be daft green, that's great news - congratulations! We are all here to help support, and I will offer you as much support as I can - it's bloody scary though isn't it! I also haven't had sore boobs this time, but I have got the overwhelming tiredness (in fact I've just come straight up to bed after work!) and constant need to pee, so taking those as positives.
Take care xx

Well, i have some news you lot, I got a BFP on Sat. I guess I didn't want to post with so much going on for everyone, but I really need to tell you all. I thought I was out this month, but I know I ovd very late, so I guess it took its time to show up. My eBay cheapies have been getting a little darker each day. The digi test says 1-2 weeks. But I don't think I believe any of it yet! This is the first time I have been pregnant and thought 'I'm pregnant' rather than 'I'm having a baby'. I guess that's because it's actually pregnancy no 6!
I dont feel pregnant either, no sore boobs, which is always a give away, but it's not so long since they were stretched out with milk for Merryn, so maybe they won't hurt this time? (i wish they would iyswim) They are a little bigger. I don't think I want to let myself believe it.

ELLY, I'm so aware as I write this you are waiting for your next scan, and having a rough time. I hope I've not upset you, I just needed you all so much, I feel a bit like I'm falling down a hole. Please tell me or Pm me if you want me to just be quiet, I would get it completely.

Hi Karen, Im sorry I don't think we've met, I think I must have missed your posts. I'm sorry you are having such a scarey time. I'm not surprised you are worried, they should be more considerate of how you are feeling. Would they not scan if you explained it was making you worry?