TTC after a miscarriage - springy BFPs for festive beanies

Happy birthay for yesterday FirstNikki - I am sorry that it fell on a significant day for you - how did you get by?

By the way, why haven't you made an appointment with the hospital counsellor yet, do you think? Do you find the idea of counselling difficult? It might be a real help, and you sound really fragile at the moment, to me .

Lots of love and ((((hugs))) to everyone here who is struggling with hormones/grief/disappointment.

My sister saw a counsellor after her miscarriage. She went to see her after about 8 months or so, I think it was all getting too much for her because she had passed her due date and hadn't conceived yet, and still felt sad about the miscarriage when she felt she should have been 'over it'.

She said she had a really good cry, felt an awful lot better, and then got pregnant that month. She reckons it was related - like she was holding onto something and going there helped her let go. I tend to believe her too - I think the mind is much more powerful than we know.

This is actually one of the very few threads that I do come on now with any regularity. I banned myself from the pregnancy/birth related threads (good move, by the way, I definitely recommend it). Everyone is in the same boat here, and there seem to be a nice regular stream of BFPs to keep our hopes up, although it can be sad, and I often cry.

Hi there RuthLouise,

There is a Stats thread created for this thread here. I will update my details on there too..
\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1366&threadid=89524\this is the stats thread}

In brief though I have a DH, 2 step daughters and had mc 25 Nov 2005 @ 9.3wks and mc 28 Feb 06 at 9.4 wks live near Leicester.

our hospital has a bereavement counsellor but she's away 'til 3rd April (!). I tried m/c association and gave me a number to ring for a chat. Spoke to a lovely lady but then felt worse 'cos I'd given birth to Isaac at 18+3 and she lost twins at 24 weeks (can't imagine how bad that was) and I was lucky to also have dd. The m/c association tries to put you in touch with someone who has gone through similar experience - some people offer one-off chats but some are like befrienders if they live near you or they may know of support groups in your area. contacted SANDS this am, they have nothing in our area (as usual) but do have forums for late m/c etc. Sorry don't know if thats help to you or not?

yes had that sort of hormonal upset or rather rage in my case. cried the whole weekend and took myself to my parents. its wrotten I went through a phase of feeling like a failure, well still do occasionally.

You are doing the right thing about seeing a counsellor I was going to and still haven't our hospital provides one. So I know by seeking help should ease and help you come to terms with it I admire you for making that step to recovery. you are doing the right thing.

Don't know about you but my dh, although wants to try again doesn't want to see me go through this upset and turmoil again. I suppose its a balance of chance and determination for what we want.

Let me know how you get on with the miscarriage association.

www (((((hugs)))))

Must admit, I find it addictive too. Probably check this thread 10-15 times a day in case someones posted. I know it sounds sad but it keeps me going. don't know what else to do.
dd is having a nap, dh is working away and I'm signed off work still. Tomorrow will be one of my few recent forays out of the house - have to take dd to her new nursery for a 'settling session'

would like to join the 'ttc over 30' thread but as its only 10 days since Isaac died, in reality still have a few weeks to wait, do you know any other good threads? maybe the 'isis' one if I get one?

Mind u, having trouble getting my head around who's who on this site let alone any others!
So who can tell me a bit about themselves to help get my head around this? I tried reading the thread through but my poor head couldn't take it all in....!

I know, the sunshine will make everything seems better, won't it? Can't wait to feel the sun on my face again....

I think it's great coming here because every one of us totally understands what the others are all going through - it's amazing support. My RL friends are there if I want to talk to them about it, but I find that I don't want to burden them when they couldn't possibly understand what I'm feeling anyway.

I've just written to the m/c association as I'm thinking about seeing a grief counsellor. Don't know if it will help but I feel I need to do something to start getting over this. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself, after all, this will never leave me - I just want to learn how to cope with it better. The other night I had a total breakdown in front of dh, telling him that I would never recover from this, that even getting pregnant wouldn't change my feelings...perhaps I was a bit over emotional - and hormonal - AF appeared the next day! But I'm still so up and down...just want to start feeling a bit better.

I know what you mean about this board MN I thought I would be just dipping in now and again but I can't help but come back and check in and I have found you all great support.....its addictive I think sometimes RL friends can't understand in depth or think best policy is to keep quiet, or think you can just get back to "normal" and carry on but its not always like that and MNers understand that which is fab for us ladies...........plus leave it too long its takes ages to catch up !

Sorry about ds, my sis is in nursery field and I know its common practice for runny bums for them to be kept away. Hope he gets better soon.

I am sure it will get easier over time for us all but sometimes this seems to be taking a such a long time even though its not.

Roll on some better weather I say!

quiet here today, isn't it?

heard of 2 friends having healthy babies yesterday...delighted for them, obviuosly, but still had a quiet little weep to myself. Should have been going for my 20 week scan on Thursday...seems like there's always going to be something happening that will remind me of what happened. Guess it'll just get easier to bear as time goes by..

ds has diarhhea (sp?) and I've been told to keep him off creche for the rest of the week...he's not ill, just got a runny bum! Anyway, going for a shower while he's still napping.

Hope you're all alright today...this place has become part of my everyday life, you know? Feel like I have a whole other bunch of friends - actually, I don't have this many friends in RL!!

Morning ladies!

Nicola - sounds daft but its good news about thyroid at least you can get treated now.

WWW - sorry about af hoping you ok about it like you say its good to know body back to normal

Rubles - mine was [whispers] yesterday, I am expecting my af this week too

Evenhope - af it maybe but you have been bd'g so there is a chance too. Yes agree the af wait is such a pain in the bum, I think personally that a mc makes bd'g and ttc all the more urgent

Mygirl - I'm ok ta getting there trying to get my life sorted now - only I can do it

RuthLouise - abou tyour mum I am sure she is with you in spirit. x Hope the pelvic infection clears soon

Smole - How are you hun?

If I have missed anyone I am sorry and how are you all?

Ruthlouise, Guys is where the Genetics Centre is. This where they do the Chromosone testing etc.
3 of my blood samples had to go here.

Hope everyone else is ok this morning

LOL Rubles. please do spout - sometimes its a bit quiet on here

Sorry Ruthlouise, I didn't reply to your question because I didn't know the answer....in my case we didn't do the deed until I had stopped bleeding because I had infection in my mind, but that was just me and not based on anything scientific that I had read or been told. I wasn't ignoring your question, it's just I do try to limit the amount of rubbish that I spout sometimes.

Yep, mothers day was not good - really missed my mum - she died nearly 11 years ago and could really do with her here now

Hmm, well I was actually looking forward to my first AF until I saw your posts.... Still will probably not be for another 3-5 weeks. Ho hum...

I gather the question I asked earlier was asking for TMI. Not to worry as its irrelevant for the time being as my GP has just given me antibiotics for a pelvic infection and in case you were wondering... no we didn't!

Nicola - do you know what they were testing your bloods for? They took 2 samples off me b4 m/c (blood type and hb i think)and another 9 samples off me the day after the m/c. One sample had to be couriered up to Guys (70 miles away)but midwife who took them didn't know. I guess they'll tell us at the debriefing appointment (whenever that happens)

Ah Firstnikki if you are having the same symptoms perhaps it is just first-AF-after-m/c symptoms after all. Will have to wait and see (although it's not knowing when to expect AF as well and getting taken by surprise).

Nicola63 I asked at the hospital about thyroid, knowing they were taking lots of blood. They just told me to go to my GP and ask.. not very helpful when our surgery is one of those where you can't make an advance appointment and have to ring at 8.30 on the morning you want to go. I'll have to wait until I'm off work to be able to go. Sounds hopeful for you though- at least it's an answer of sorts.

www - how are you feeling about the AF? You sound like you are OK about it, at least you know where you are now.

Nicola63 I hope the thyroid medication is the answer for you, in some ways it seems better than them saying they can't find any reasons and therefore leaving you wondering if it was because they just didn't look hard enough or do the right tests.

Firstnikki, my birthday is the 1st, . When's yours? AF is due on that day too, so it could either make or break my day.

Thanks for all your support......

Lets have some more.... I am the first for a new due december thread and am not going to start it without any club members ....

WWW, I found the mother's day thing rather sad too, but not feeling too bad now really. Also got AF last week, exactly 4 wks to the day after the m/c, and it was the worst period pain I have ever had (never been one to submit to that kind of thing, always wondered what people were whining about when they spoke of period pain, but this one really hurt, like never before). But it only lasted two days, as my AF's always do, and now, like you, I at least know where we are with the cycle etc.

afternoon....

hope you all had a nice weekend...mother's day sucks a bit when you've had a m/c, doesn't it? Anyway, my special treat came yesterday in the form of a definite, proper, pain in the belly AF - dammit! We've been bd-ing like lunatics, and that's the thanks i get! Just over 4 weeks since m/c. Oh well, at least my cycle is def back to normal now, we can start ttc properly. It's been very hard not knowing whether I'm ov'ing or not. But it was always in the back of my mind that maybe, just maybe, we'd bd'd at just the right time and hey presto.... but it wasn't to be this month. Never mind.

How are you feeling oinker? Take it easy....

hope everyone else is ok!

PS congrats oinker that is marvellous

I got my repeat thyroid test back today, continues to show evidence of hypothyroidism so I will start on thyroxine tomorrow.

I am glad in a way, maybe this is the answer to the two m/c's and will be they key to finally getting and staying pregnant; but it's also rather distressing to have a diagnosis of a chronic disease which means taking daily medication probably for the rest of one's life. Still, maybe being on the thyroid hormone will also make me less tired, and lose some of the weight I have unexpectedly and uncharacteristically picked up in the last year. I suppose it is better to know that there IS something wrong that one can treat.

So, onto the thyroid hormone, and next week will bd like mad as ovulation should be due.

MORNING ALL!

Oinker - congrats again on your bfp

Evenhope - My loss (passing of "baby") happened 4 weeks on Tuesday, although I got away without having the erpc cos it was booked for the day after and things happened naturally the night before, and I too have developed extremely sore boobs and nips which were v painful just like pg, but I am sure I am not pg so putting mine down to hormones and possible af arriving.

Smole - I am not too bad ta. I would have been 6 months to the date today with my first pg had it continued so a bit of a anniversary day today for no. 1 angel. Angel no. 2 would have been 14 wks this friday too, oh well life is sent to try us. I have been more weepy of late especially yesterday being mothers day, although I am a step mum, the reminder was there I wasn't a bio mum and so want to be. Also saw someone who is 8 months pg on saturday and it just really upset me. So apart from that I am getting there thanks. How are you??

WWW and Rubles I am Aries too!

I go away for a few days and look what happens - oinker gets a BFP! Fingers crossed this one sticks.

Welcome ruthlousie

How are you getting on Nikki?

How is everyone else??

Finally gave blood for my tests on Thursday so I've got the long wait for them to come back now!