TTC Myths Exposed!

Well said wild, I made some comments here yesterday that were carefully worded and I deliberated said 'in my opinion' a couple of times. I was treated rudely and the reaction seemed to be celebrated. I'm not that precious and realize risks are taken by posting on these kind of threads. I'm glad to see some more constructive talk here today.

yes cave that is why we all post, to help each other and share knowledge but not bring people down and tell them how to think. can get a bit dogmatic and uncomfortable.

haha, well kick you can't be certain about either symptoms or a test, as sadly those of us who have had CP or mc/mmc know. Maybe it is all the uncertainty that makes people want to find comfort in certainties, even if they are imagined ones.

And really kick I am sad that you think you might have been mislead about your excessive thirst and general diabetes symptoms while you were ttc as you seem very intelligent and read about things. Surely you were not suspicious that 5 litres of water just overnight could not be pg related? That level of liquid intake and more in the daytime could actually kill a person. And a couple of posters on that thread did say such excessive thirst is a symptom of diabetes and more said go to your dr because it didn't sound right. Anyway, glad you went to gp and got it sussed. Tiredness is also diabetes symptom and you can suffer for months and months without knowing what it is.

I have seen that kind of certainty said to others and to me. Which I think is highly unfair and wrong - especially if you're sitting in a "I'm TTC #2 or TTC #3

Alabama - if you actually read back, I conceded that perhaps if you have already been pregnant, you can (with hindsight) confirm the existence of symptoms. You may also be in a better position to recognise those symptoms again if you've already experienced it

As someone TTC #1, I think it's unfair and actually rather dangerous for people who have already had a baby to convince first timers that everything is a symptom. I think threads like are good because it allows women who are TTC #1 to realise that each person is actually different and that most women can only ever be 100% certain about pregnancy after a test.

I notice none of you answered my question about whether you would tell someone that they should be certain about symptoms or a test though?

I haven't often seen people saying it with that kind of certainty, but for me even the "ooh i had that" comments raise false hope and irritate me. But I know some people like the hope, so that's why I don't come on here or any other similar forums much any more.
Instead like you I spend time reading medical journals to try and get facts - although there's precious little research on the parts of TTC I am really interested in. Was gobsmacked the other day when reading a long paper on timing of sex for conception to find several references to articles on the same topic that my statistics phd supervisor / line manager wrote 30 years ago!! Was inexplicably embarrassed!

I don't think anyone's saying that kick. No one is saying that EVERYONE experiences the same thing. Justas it's unfair fr you to say that these symptoms don't exist. They do exist for sme people. I am sorry, you are wrong. SOME women do experience these symptoms. Not all, but some do,

Someone told me I was "definitely pregnant with the excessive thirst" because she had had it when she was pregnant as well

I realised after 3 months of fairly avid MNing, obsessive symptom spotting and doing everything "by the book" TTC-wise that 95% of 2ww "symptoms" are wishful thinking / PMS / pre-AF. And tthat if you type "is X a symptom of pregnancy?" into google you are guaranteed to find people who experienced X and were pregnant. No matter WHAT x is!! Once I realised that, I realised it was pointless googling anything and also pointless symptom spotting. Then I also stopped going on MN and took up a couple of new hobbies and the last 5m of TTC have been SO much more bearable than the first 3.
Not sure why I'm on here again now but i know if i keep it up I'll be devastated again in 2 weeks time rather than just mildly disappointed. But seeing this thread did make me giggle and I hope everyone reads it! I couldnt resist posting.
Over and out and good luck everyone.

Simple question:

Would you tell someone that the symptoms are 100% accurate to monitor and watch out for?

Or would you tell someone that a positive pregnancy test is 100% accurate to monitor and concentrate on?

Why are women telling others that they can RELY on symptoms? Is that not a falsehood in itself?

I don't know if the hormonal things were the diabetes. But the thing is that it's all hindsight isn't it?

When I was in it, it was pregnancy.

Only afterwards you get to say "Ah yes, it was definitely the diabetes"

Is it not the same with pregnancy? So many women are so sure that they are pregnant but none of it unequivocal until you get that positive pregnancy test.

I do agree with you kick of course not EVERY woman who is pregnant experiences symptoms in the 2ww, but I'm sorry I have to say this this, you are wrong if you are saying that 100% all women do NOT.experience any ymotons during the 2ww because I for one did.

Yes it MAY sound like af symptoms or symptoms you have experienced yourself but my symptoms were unique to me and I had a strong suspicion I was pregnant as I didn't have those particular experiences before.

It's like saying that someone is diabetes like yourself has to have had the same experience you had. You're right in the sense that most of these 2ww wait symptoms are bull but SOME are true, at least for SONE women.

The caps are meant to be italics btw not shoutyness.

but kick your symptoms were real. But diabetes, not pregnancy. (sorry to hear about the diabetes btw.) YOU were the one who attributed them to pregnancy? At the same time saying there were no symptoms (didn't you even start a thread about this?)

people do get overexcited about symptom spotting in some threads it's true. BUT it is all part of the fun! TTC is meant to be fun, and sharing the highs and lows for a couple of months before you get your BFP and begger off to the AN thread is part of it.

When the BFP doesn't come then obviously it starts to get less fun, but then obviously the onus is on the poster to move threads and find a more suitable place to hang out with less shouty, excitable 'new' ttcers who might bug with their symptom spotting shenanigans. This might sound harsh but maybe it is unfair to impose more 'realistic' (or just plain unfortunate/sad) experiences on the shouty newbies

I, for one, love a good symptom spot :) If I am not in the mood to read the more excitable optimistic threads, I don't. And if someone says 'oooh you are definintely pg' I don't really listen, though it might be nice of someone to say that.

It is a sad truth that we humans have a great capacity for self-delusion. Insofar as it's protective and keeps us happy or stops us from going insane, is it really such a bad thing that it needs to be "corrected"? I think that, deep down, we all know the truth of most of the myths on MN.

I agree with a lot of what Kick says but when I was pregnant for the second time, I "knew" before I reached 14DPO. That said, I am the sensible sort who waited until week 5 to test. I think there's something in the suggestion that if you've been pregnant once, your body notices it more quickly the next time. This is, of course, no help to someone TTC #1.

I have started to get sore boobs before AF in the last three months. Very sore nipples - burning almost. Increased CM and tmi alert, my DH once noticed such an increase in my lady bits (engorged) that he actually couldnt get it in.

I have been 3 - 4 days late every single month (normally dead on regular). Never had sore boobs before.

Exhausted - like coming home from work and sleeping on the couch.

I have an 8 month old and I had symptoms during the 2ww tht were different to af....increased cm, sore boobs (don't normally get this during period) and tiredness. I lo's got cramps which I normally get and runny poo which I on't normally get during period. I guess everyone is different.

And it's any kind of symptoms as well - especially the ones that are masked in the form of higher progesterone.

I don't think the mass obsessing is any good either. I was one of them and it really was just a big disappointment.

I try to encourage sane thought in the forums with those who are TTC (especially their firsts). I don't think it's healthy to sit and look for twinges and tweaks because it really does make you go nuts! I never used to work in those 2 weeks. I spent all my time thinking about what symptoms I would have next and what was everyone else doing?!!

For what it's worth, I've never in my life experienced a horrid 'metallic taste'.

Don't know what everyone's going on about

I do agree Kick that obsessive symptom spotting can set women up for terrible disappointment. I'd never come on to these threads before - only did so because I suspected I was pregnant and put a specific question into the search function - but I have got sucked in to the two week wait threads and I find them concerning at times. I realise this may sound a bit rich (patronising?) coming from someone who already has three children, but the level of obsessing is unhealthy in my opinion. I do know how all encompassing it feels to want to be pregnant, but I've read about women taking pregnancy tests at just three days post ovulation, and continuing to take them after their period has arrived! That way insanity lies...

"Their" not "There" in the last paragraph.

Spelling mistake :)

Agreed. I know I have an alternative theory because I've seen a lot of people fall prey to the symptom spotting thing. It should definitely be a hindsight thing. I joined the forum for the same reasons - I wanted someone to tell me that I was pregnant. And they did! In their droves!

I think it's a protection thing for me. If you are pregnant, it's not going anywhere. So try not to symptom spot in those 2ww because it does drive everyone crazy.

I think the only people who may know are those who have been there before. Certainly the women I know in RL say that they best symptom they had was a tweak the day before AF was due (for a day) and that was their biggest symptom. Bar the positive pregnancy test :)

Either way, I hate seeing people suffer when there AF arrives and they've had all the symptoms. So I will keep telling them to focus on the prize at the end of the 2ww. The pregnancy test. That's the most conclusive proof of pregnancy. Especially for us first timers :)

Sorry for the crappy diagnosis kicktheguru - fingers crossed that those levels might fall quicker than you think. It sounds like it has been a really tough time.

Obviously the arguments you have made about the progesterone based symptoms are perfectly valid and the point you are making, that symptom spotting is mostly a cruel and pointless way of building yourself up for disappointment and is even worse when encouraged by others, is also absolutely fair.

I think people have mostly reacted to your opening style statement, that 'there are NO pregnancy symptoms in the 2ww' and the implication that if you have them, you are, by extension, imagining them, as that is the only scientific explanation possible. That's just too categoric. As others have said, I don't buy it. I partly recognised mine in retrospect admittedly (wasn't trying to spot symptoms particularly) but for 2 days before doing a test at 11dpo, I was shattered and exhausted in an absolutely unusual way (think getting into bed at 9.30 for someone who never goes until 11 or 12), which continued for the next 3 months.

The other thing with the encouraging of symptom-spotting and so on on forums like this is that a lot of people come on here looking for exactly that! They just want to obsessively swap symptoms in a way that isn't possible in RL, because that's what's on their minds. I don't have a problem with it. But I agree that it becomes soul-destroying where there are other problems and I think it's up to the person themselves to step away from this kind of conversation in that case.

Hehehe I promise that once my pregnancy is confirmed, I will create a thread and jump up and down about how badly I lied but how you will ONLY get symptoms in the 2ww when you know you're already pregnant :)

I am hoping they put me on the fertility drugs so I get metallic and vitaminic tastes in my mouth and my boobs not only get sore, but they start dancing with top hats on.

:)

13 months for me for my second pregnancy so I do understand. Although as it was my second I wasn't as upset as the months I didn't manage it with my first (this is a controversial thing to say on MN, another example of experiences not being universal!)

Anyway - I do totally understand. Just promise me that when you do get pregnant if you have a disgusting metallic taste in your mouth before your period is due you will come back and tell me?