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Conception

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A concerned other half needs advice

261 replies

paolocee · 14/07/2012 17:24

My girlfriend, just turned 39, been TTC (see, I know some of the lingo) for 5 years.

Had one unsuccessful IVF cycle.

Yesterday she had a positive ClearBlue Conception Indicator at around 5pm. It was the day her period was due. It said conception had been 1-2 weeks ago which would have been spot on. She'd been suffering from bad cramps for the past few days. Very grumpy too (no change there, then ;)). Had odd food cravings. Higher than average temperature. Experienced apparent implantation cramps and a little spotting a week ago. All looked good. We were very excited. Very.

Then she retested again last night at 8pm. A BFN. Not to worry we thought, she'd drunk a gallon of water - the HCG must've been diluted.

We'll leave it until morning and a FMU (is that right? I may be straying from my comfort zone now). Another BFN. Utter gloom. Total and utter gloom.

She's on the sofa now watching a week's worth of Corrie. She still hasn't come on, although, as she's felt for the last few days she feels like she's about to.

My guess is that it was a chemical pregnancy. But is there still hope? Any words of wisdom much appreciated. I feel so helpless.

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KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 14:22

There are two routes you can take right now (we had a chemical pregnancy in December).

  1. Bask in the glory of being very big chickens and live a life like you're pregnant (although, the biggest trouble with this is that you get VERY sad if you turn out to be not pregnant).
  1. Suck it up and do the test. 4 days late means you have a 98% chance of the test being correct.

I can't imagine what you're going through though. It's been agony for us and we've been at it for a year. It must be hell on earth for you guys.

paolocee · 16/07/2012 14:19

Mama1980
Didn't you read reason 2? Smile

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Mama1980 · 16/07/2012 14:15

4 days late you should get a pretty conclusive test result Now I think.

paolocee · 16/07/2012 14:13

No, KickTheGuru, not yet. Two reasons.

  1. Want to give AF a chance to show up.
  2. We're very big chickens.
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KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 14:09

Did you do another test?

5madthings · 16/07/2012 14:08

yes for pretty much the wholeof the first trimester i felt like i was about to get my period any moment, that combined with the extra ahem dampness of pregnancy (tmi) meant frequent trips to the toilet where i was expecting the worst!

fingers crossed for you both :)

paolocee · 16/07/2012 14:01

Thanks.
Woah, I thought the road to getting a 'possible' was rough. Can see why Madge and Brangelina went straight to the ready to wear section instead of trying a little tailoring.

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AThingInYourLife · 16/07/2012 13:55

One of the many (MANY) cruel things about TTC is that the symptoms of getting your period are almost indistinguishable from those of early pregnancy.

If she's up the duff, she could have those cramps for weeks.

Mama1980 · 16/07/2012 13:51

Again I'm afraid it varies from person to person in my experience I bled almost everyday when I was pregnant so that feeling never really left. My symptoms did become more clear cut though very sore boobs, very sick etc. which do not happen every month.

paolocee · 16/07/2012 13:47

IF - and I know this is a big 'if'- she is up the duff, when would that just-about-to-get-her-period feeling stop?

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paolocee · 16/07/2012 13:28

Thanks so much for all your kind words. I dare not show her this thread yet. I don't think she could take the pressure.
She has returned with two tests. They're a Swedish brand - Preg - and they use pink ink. They're just sitting there winking at us.

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CamelKnees · 16/07/2012 13:27

No more advice I'm afraid but wishing you both lots of luck.

AThingInYourLife · 16/07/2012 13:27

Everything crossed for you guys :)

Thinkingof4 · 16/07/2012 13:21

Just wanted to wish you both luck and hoping the next few days brings good news. Smile

WishingIWasLucky · 16/07/2012 13:02

Fingers crossed for you! X

SomethingSuitablyWitty · 16/07/2012 13:01

My gums bled a bit. We'll all be gutted if it's BFN. Fingers crossed for you both!

paolocee · 16/07/2012 12:56

Hi Kalidasa. We're hoping to wait until tomorrow to test again. But she's out shopping in the local town now, so who knows what she'll return with?
Never known nerves like it.

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kalidasa · 16/07/2012 12:53

I did have a sore throat in the first few days each time. But to be honest you'll always find someone for whom your symptom was pregnancy-related. Hold your nerve! Are you testing again today?

Mama1980 · 16/07/2012 11:41

Just read this thread, you sound lovely and very supportive. I am really hoping for a positive result for you. You are right to try to stay away from google, almost every symptom can be attributed to early pregnancy or not......

paolocee · 16/07/2012 11:41

Sorry, Flangelina.

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paolocee · 16/07/2012 11:40

Thanks Frangelina. You're right - I'm pretty sure it's nerves. Anyway, got her out of the house to take her mind off things.

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FlangelinaBallerina · 16/07/2012 11:33

Could be nerves.

Frankly most things could probably be symptoms of early pregnancy, women have such different experiences, so resist the temptation!

paolocee · 16/07/2012 11:17

New symptom. Perhaps TMI. Runny bottom. Must. Not. Check. Google.

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paolocee · 16/07/2012 09:59

Kittykatsforever

Thanks very much. Everyone on this thread has been so kind.

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paolocee · 16/07/2012 09:58

Yellowflowers
It's stressful because we want the same thing. And because I can't bear to see her upset and anxious.

She's the same way with me when I'm watching football. Grin

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