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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

A concerned other half needs advice

261 replies

paolocee · 14/07/2012 17:24

My girlfriend, just turned 39, been TTC (see, I know some of the lingo) for 5 years.

Had one unsuccessful IVF cycle.

Yesterday she had a positive ClearBlue Conception Indicator at around 5pm. It was the day her period was due. It said conception had been 1-2 weeks ago which would have been spot on. She'd been suffering from bad cramps for the past few days. Very grumpy too (no change there, then ;)). Had odd food cravings. Higher than average temperature. Experienced apparent implantation cramps and a little spotting a week ago. All looked good. We were very excited. Very.

Then she retested again last night at 8pm. A BFN. Not to worry we thought, she'd drunk a gallon of water - the HCG must've been diluted.

We'll leave it until morning and a FMU (is that right? I may be straying from my comfort zone now). Another BFN. Utter gloom. Total and utter gloom.

She's on the sofa now watching a week's worth of Corrie. She still hasn't come on, although, as she's felt for the last few days she feels like she's about to.

My guess is that it was a chemical pregnancy. But is there still hope? Any words of wisdom much appreciated. I feel so helpless.

OP posts:
KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 15:20

Well basically - you get a three monthly percentage of how your blood sugar has been. So, because my doctor (or nurse) didn't pick it up when I went to them a few times saying I couldn't breathe or make my own spit (drinking 6L of liquid etc etc - but thought it was all pregnancy so just left it!). It means that the sugar in my system just kept building up. Type 1 isn't like Type 2 - Type 1 is an autoimmune when your body attacks your pancreas.

The short is that normal people have an overall level of sugar for 3 months of 3.5% - 5.5%. A diabetic should keep it under about 8%. Mine was 15.6% when I admitted to hospital and now its at 11.9%. It needs to be under 7% before they will let me conceive.

It means that if I had to fall pregnant now, my baby would have a higher risk of having a congenital defect.

Once the levels are down and I control them there, there should be no other real issues. I just watch what I eat. It's just depressing to be told that you can longer TTC - you just have to suck it up and "do it for your body".

resipsa · 16/07/2012 15:18

Also couldn't just read and run. Really hope it turns out well for you both. Don't suppose you have a twin brother? Grin
PS I too had a DC when 40 so don't lose hope.

Original poster
paolocee · 16/07/2012 15:16

Juneau, sorry, I was exaggerating for comic effect. I must try harder. Smile

toomuchonthatendofthemoney, here's to upduffedness all round. And where does that name come from?

Mama1980, thanks very much. There is a warped logic at play, honest!

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Original poster
paolocee · 16/07/2012 15:11

SaggyOldClothCatPuss
I can't say I wasn't just a tad nervous. But everyone's been so welcoming. I'll continue to watch my step, though. Smile

Thanks StiffyByng, I really appreciate it.

KickTheGuru
Forgive me, I have no idea how Type1 Diabetes could affect a PG. Please elaborate (if you want).

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Mama1980 · 16/07/2012 15:08

When you put it like that it makes sense-and everyone deals with things differently SmileYou really do sound lovely I am keeping everything crossed for you and your partner.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 16/07/2012 15:07

Also sending you and your DP all best wishes and "be upduffed" vibes, will come back tomorrow hoping for positive news!!

juneau · 16/07/2012 15:07

7 kids between them in about 6 months.

Shock Surely you mean 6 years?

KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 15:02

At the risk of sounding all "memememe" - we've been at it for the better part of a year. Loooong story short but landed up (5 weeks ago), going to A&E with extreme thirst and nearly dead (basically). Turned out I had a sugar level of 37 and my overall glucose levels are actually too high to carry on TTC

I am now a half woman, with Type 1 Diabetes (where the f**k that came from, I have no idea) and waiting for sugar to be normal before we carry on trying.

Because we've been going at it for a year, they should put us straight on fertility crap.

Based on all that "you will fall pregnant chop chop" theory of all my mates who fell pregnant within a month or two, we'd worked out our baby would have been due now.

Aside from the Type 1 Diabetes though. That could have been nasty...

StiffyByng · 16/07/2012 15:01

I have everything crossed for you both. Absolutely everything.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 16/07/2012 15:01

Crossing my fingers for you and hoping. You sound lovely. It's not often that a man comes to MN for advice about his partner and leaves with all his limbs intact! Grin
When this is all done and dusted, can we keep you please? Grin

Original poster
paolocee · 16/07/2012 14:56

Thanks akaEmmaFrost. Me too! And we will. Tomorrow morning.

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Original poster
paolocee · 16/07/2012 14:55

Mama1980.
Part of the reason we're prevaricating is that it has been 5 years without the merest glimmer of hope. Even though we're so tense if you were to twang either of us the resultant sound would only be audible to a passing bat, it's almost nice to think we MIGHT be pregnant. Even if we're pretty sure we're not and neither of us is particularly enjoying it. I know it sounds odd but there it is.

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Original poster
paolocee · 16/07/2012 14:51

KickTheGuru, with you on that. How DARE they make it look simple? My 2 elder sisters had 7 kids between them in about 6 months. If, IF, DP is preggers the poor child will have a 40-year-old cousin.

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akaemmafrost · 16/07/2012 14:48

Oh and Take The Test!

akaemmafrost · 16/07/2012 14:48

I had the worst PMT EVER! Only it wasn't PMT because was pregnant Grin. Both times.

I hope that's the same for your DP.

Mama1980 · 16/07/2012 14:45

I did Smile but for me the doubt is the worst, I just wanted to Make sure you were aware that by now a accurate result should be assured. I had a negative when I was 2 days late but still didn't feel right went to the dr who told me that by 4 days late you are almost guaranteed the correct test result and in my case yep a negative at day 2 had become a positive by day 4. I'm so hoping for a positive result for you both

KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 14:44

People who fall pregnant quickly piss me off. We should have some kind of stoning method... ;)

Original poster
paolocee · 16/07/2012 14:44

Thanks Barleysugar. I now have my eyes crossed.

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Original poster
paolocee · 16/07/2012 14:43

KickTheGuru, spot on.

Really, I think the only possible sensible reaction to this whole mullarkey is 'Gaaaah.' It utterly defies logic.

And TopsyTurner, that is a LOVELY thing to say. Thank you.

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barleysugar · 16/07/2012 14:39

Wishing you well. I had sore throat and gums with each pregnancy early on too. Will keep fingers crossed.

KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 14:36

Yeh - I want a positive for you guys so badly.

The annoying thing (as someone else said) is that the symptoms you get before you get AF and before you get a positive pregnancy test are both as a result of an increase of progesterone. It's only when you miss the AF and progesterone keeps rising (pregnancy) that you start to get proper symptoms.

The only symptom you can get is a positive pregnancy test or the dreaded arrival of AF.

Gaaaah

KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 14:32

What about popping to a doctor and getting a blood test?

topsyturner · 16/07/2012 14:31

Never have I wanted a positive result so much !
Am lighting a candle for you both , you lovely people x

Original poster
paolocee · 16/07/2012 14:29

And, KickTheGuru, sorry to hear you're in the same boat. It's no fun.

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Original poster
paolocee · 16/07/2012 14:28

KickTheGuru
Believe me, there's very little glorying round here. Just tension. We said on Saturday morning, just after the 2nd BFN, that we'd wait until 5 days after and test first thing. We want to get as accurate a result as possible and then move on.
Also, we had no tests as everywhere here shuts on Sundays.

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