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Conception

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A concerned other half needs advice

261 replies

paolocee · 14/07/2012 17:24

My girlfriend, just turned 39, been TTC (see, I know some of the lingo) for 5 years.

Had one unsuccessful IVF cycle.

Yesterday she had a positive ClearBlue Conception Indicator at around 5pm. It was the day her period was due. It said conception had been 1-2 weeks ago which would have been spot on. She'd been suffering from bad cramps for the past few days. Very grumpy too (no change there, then ;)). Had odd food cravings. Higher than average temperature. Experienced apparent implantation cramps and a little spotting a week ago. All looked good. We were very excited. Very.

Then she retested again last night at 8pm. A BFN. Not to worry we thought, she'd drunk a gallon of water - the HCG must've been diluted.

We'll leave it until morning and a FMU (is that right? I may be straying from my comfort zone now). Another BFN. Utter gloom. Total and utter gloom.

She's on the sofa now watching a week's worth of Corrie. She still hasn't come on, although, as she's felt for the last few days she feels like she's about to.

My guess is that it was a chemical pregnancy. But is there still hope? Any words of wisdom much appreciated. I feel so helpless.

OP posts:
MakesCakesWhenStressed · 16/07/2012 16:54

Hope you've been lacing that porridge with folic acid. Another mner keeping her digits tightly crossed for you here...

And the clearest memories I have of very early pregnancy are ravenous hunger, especially for carbs :-)

paolocee · 16/07/2012 16:53

Sorry, I'm already on that ttc diet, minus the chain-smoking.

She was due on Friday, which is when she took the first - positive - test. Two negatives since then, the first 3 hours after the positive.

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iloveberries · 16/07/2012 16:48

I guess any healthy food is good although my chain smoking, obese, booze hound friend has just announced her second pregnancy-conceived on month one - so who knows??!! Maybe I should start the alternative ttc diet!

How many days late is she?

paolocee · 16/07/2012 16:42

Tomorrow morning if AF still refuses to show her ugly mug. Excruciating is the word, all right. Berries must be a good food for conception, right? I've been feeding her with berry porridge for breakfast for the last 6 months.

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iloveberries · 16/07/2012 16:38

Haha! I do love berries. Fingers crossed for you. Five years is a long time to wait and it's excruciating when it's just not happening.

No af is a good sign though. When is your dp testing again? X

paolocee · 16/07/2012 16:36

Thanks maples. If goodwill counts for anything she'll be laden with octuplets. Smile

OP posts:
maples · 16/07/2012 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paolocee · 16/07/2012 16:27

thanks iloveberries. Do you know what I just ate? A big bowl of berries.

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paolocee · 16/07/2012 16:25

Flangelina, OK, got you now. Thanks.

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paolocee · 16/07/2012 16:24

Hey MainlyMaynie
Thanks, thought you would get it. Pretty sure she was sure. She has a good understanding of her body. And the initial result suggesting conception had been 1-2 weeks previously was in the ball park (had been 8-10 days I think).

You know, we've become so used to bad news I can't barely imagine what seeing a positive would feel like. Even when she showed me the result on Friday I didn't really believe it. Not really and truly. So the BFN 3 hours later came as no real surprise. And that maybe another reason we're putting it off....

OP posts:
FlangelinaBallerina · 16/07/2012 16:15

No, not at all, I meant that if a mid afternoon test is fairly faint on Day 36 then it may not be visible at all on Day 31. hence wait til tomorrow morning, when any result will be much more reliable than it is now. I tested again on the morning of Day 37 and it was as clear as day, if that helps. Huge difference in only 18 hours.

iloveberries · 16/07/2012 16:13

Good luck to you both. Hoping it all works out for you x

MainlyMaynie · 16/07/2012 16:11

I understand why you're waiting. I waited a few days just because it was nice to think 'wow, I might be pregnant'. Are you sure about when she ovulated? I really hope it's good news tomorrow!

paolocee · 16/07/2012 16:03

And, I'd love some fun believe me, but I'm working (well, I am when I'm not on here.....).

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KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 16:02

No depending on her cycle length but normally, you can start testing about 14 days after she would have ovulated.

The recommendation is to wait two days (since the hcg increases every second day) between a BFN and a separate test

paolocee · 16/07/2012 16:01

36 days? We first tested on Friday, when she was due on. It's day 31 now. You reckon we should wait until Saturday? Sheesh, that's a tough ask.

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FlangelinaBallerina · 16/07/2012 15:46

Yes, tomorrow morning would be best. Often when you test during the day, the test isn't conclusive. I first poas in the mid afternoon at 36 days, and while the line was clearly visible it was relatively faint. You don't mention how many days into the cycle she is, but if it's much less than 36 then it's a good idea not to test yet. You've been through the mill enough already. I suggest going and doing something fun to take your mind off things.

paolocee · 16/07/2012 15:41

KickTheGuru, I really appreciate it. And of course I will. And I'll even start crossing my digits for you come late September/early October.

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KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 15:35

I know. Logic right? My heart is unhappy but my head is about the love!

Please let us know (kind of after you tell other people who DO matter).

Really, really crossing fingers for you both. And I never cross fingers ;)

paolocee · 16/07/2012 15:32

KickTheGuru. Tomorrow morning. It's not so much a scent as the merest, faintest whiff. Two months isn't so bad. Chin up.

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KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 15:30

I always think of "f* my uterus"...

paolocee · 16/07/2012 15:29

HeartsTrumpDiamonds. Tomorrow morning, I think. If the hormone levels are low, not sure there's much point risking more disappointment by not testing with FMU. (That acronym always makes me think of long-life milk).

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KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 15:29

Hahaha let's sell the OP to the highest bidder!

Erm...no idea to be honest. Whenever my levels come back down. That depends on a variety of factors (least of all that they were so high only 5 weeks ago). Which means probably at least another 2 months wait?
Very depressing.

Back to you. When you testing? In the morning? Or enjoying the scent of being pregnant??

paolocee · 16/07/2012 15:27

Resipsa, thanks. No, sorry, I'm the oppressed younger brother of two elder sisters. Smile

KickTheGuru, that sounds bloody horrible. How long before you'll be back on the TTC bike? So to speak.

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 16/07/2012 15:25

Watching with interest and hoping with everything crossed here too, OP. When are you going to do the next HPT?