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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

A concerned other half needs advice

261 replies

paolocee · 14/07/2012 17:24

My girlfriend, just turned 39, been TTC (see, I know some of the lingo) for 5 years.

Had one unsuccessful IVF cycle.

Yesterday she had a positive ClearBlue Conception Indicator at around 5pm. It was the day her period was due. It said conception had been 1-2 weeks ago which would have been spot on. She'd been suffering from bad cramps for the past few days. Very grumpy too (no change there, then ;)). Had odd food cravings. Higher than average temperature. Experienced apparent implantation cramps and a little spotting a week ago. All looked good. We were very excited. Very.

Then she retested again last night at 8pm. A BFN. Not to worry we thought, she'd drunk a gallon of water - the HCG must've been diluted.

We'll leave it until morning and a FMU (is that right? I may be straying from my comfort zone now). Another BFN. Utter gloom. Total and utter gloom.

She's on the sofa now watching a week's worth of Corrie. She still hasn't come on, although, as she's felt for the last few days she feels like she's about to.

My guess is that it was a chemical pregnancy. But is there still hope? Any words of wisdom much appreciated. I feel so helpless.

OP posts:
HypatiaTheProcrastinator · 16/07/2012 23:47

I can't believe I've just read all this and still no test has been taken! Shock Must check back in the morning. Good luck, everything's crossed for you!

Scarredbutnotbroken · 16/07/2012 23:34

Omg just skipped to the end of the thread........no test yet! Now I'm so excited its not a forgone conclusion Grin
Good luck!
I will be checking back in the am GrinGrinGrinGrin

Springforward · 16/07/2012 23:29

Very best wishes, I hope you get some good news.

Liveinthepresent · 16/07/2012 23:24

Another anonymous lurker rooting for you - fingers crossed

paolocee · 16/07/2012 22:43

Thanks fruitpastille.

And so to bed. Thanks everyone for all your support.

OP posts:
fruitpastille · 16/07/2012 20:22

I've got everything crossed for you. Makes typing tricky Grin

paolocee · 16/07/2012 19:54

AThinginYourLife

Well, at least the second people after my mum. Soooo nervous. Don't know how the hell we'll sleep tonight.

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 16/07/2012 19:13

Best of luck tomorrow, paolo.

Remember - we must be the very first people you tell :o

KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 19:00

Prod her then and throw a rotten tomato in her corner Grin

My husband does that to me often and I don't really get too upset.

paolocee · 16/07/2012 18:58

KickTheGuru
A hug? Do you want me to lose an arm? Grin

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KickTheGuru · 16/07/2012 18:57

Go give her a hug :)

Good luck to both of you xx

paolocee · 16/07/2012 18:54

Thanks again for your good wishes. They're really appreciated.

Angelico, you're not my DP in disguise are you? That sounds frighteningly similar to Friday around 5pm. Smile

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OhNoMyFanjo · 16/07/2012 18:32

Another one keeping their fingers crossed for you.

Angelico · 16/07/2012 18:17

Good luck! My first symptom was what I thought was mad, insane, batshit level PMT Blush In fact I felt so mental and hormonal I had a shit day and went to pee on a stick simply to confirm I wasn't pregnant so I could rant and rave even more about how shit my day had been Blush DH still laughs when he remembers me coming in with the very faintest pink line and a Shock face...

I should have known something was amiss as I don't normally get mental PMT...

Keeping everything crossed for you :o

duchesse · 16/07/2012 18:17

Paolo :)

Took us 6.5 years to get DD3. Remember this sort of event well. Horrible. Sympathies.

Crossing fingers for you.

cappucinogirl4 · 16/07/2012 18:16

Just to say...I'm keeping everything crossed for you guys!

paolocee · 16/07/2012 18:10

Oh, and thank you to CockDodger. No wonder it took you 4.5 years. I'll get my coat.

OP posts:
paolocee · 16/07/2012 18:08

Thanks for the encouraging words HellyMellly.

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paolocee · 16/07/2012 18:07

MainlyMaynie
To be honest, we're now not entirely sure when she was ovulating. We've had such miserable luck our recent efforts have been quite desultory - we know we did something around ovulation time but we're not 100% sure when that was. In our defence we have just moved to a new country so our slackness can be forgiven.

And I have no idea who this Angus chap is - sorry.

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hellymelly · 16/07/2012 17:55

I can't stand the suspense, so Lord knows how you must feel-do you have any nails left? I could tell you the story of my friend who after one baby and six years of trying for a second, was told she would never conceive again, that her baby was a miracle and she would have to accept just one. She then had three is two years (twins) and each time didn't find out for months as she was convinced she couldn't be pregnant. So from infertile to three under two...
I am really hoping for you and have all crossable parts crossed.

MainlyMaynie · 16/07/2012 17:43

If she was only 10 DPO when she took the test, then it's no surprise you've had mixed results. Even if you have a short luteal phase the time for pregnancy tests is based on average luteal phase of 14 days, so you would be lucky to get a positive test on the day her period was due. I'm feeling very positive for you! I felt period-y for weeks into pregnancy.

(BTW for your next baby, 10 day luteal phase is quite short and she might benefit from agnus castus. You probably already know that.)

paolocee · 16/07/2012 17:10

Thanks MakesCakesWhenStressed and thanks again kalidasa.

She usually craves chocolate around AF time (she's usually 100% savoury otherwise) but has only been craving cheese over the last few days. No chocolate cravings at all (I've been taking of chocolate business in her absence - it's a dirty job but someone has to do it).

OP posts:
CockDodger · 16/07/2012 17:04

Fingers crossed for you from another TTC veteran - our baby was 4.5 years in the making.

I really do hope it's good news for you in the morning.

kalidasa · 16/07/2012 17:00

Oh and if she's very hungry she should definitely go with it, just in case that comes just before being very sick .

kalidasa · 16/07/2012 16:58

If she was only 10 dpo (days post ovulation) on Friday then it's still pretty early actually. Have you looked to see what concentration of HCG the test you've bought detects? There's quite a big range in OTC tests, some are not very sensitive. Crossing my fingers for you!

If she's sure of her ovulation date and she is now beyond her usual luteal length phase (no of days between ovulation and period beginning) then that's a very good sign.

The period-y feelings can last for ages I'm afraid but the stress must be adding to it for her.

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