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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

A concerned other half needs advice

261 replies

paolocee · 14/07/2012 17:24

My girlfriend, just turned 39, been TTC (see, I know some of the lingo) for 5 years.

Had one unsuccessful IVF cycle.

Yesterday she had a positive ClearBlue Conception Indicator at around 5pm. It was the day her period was due. It said conception had been 1-2 weeks ago which would have been spot on. She'd been suffering from bad cramps for the past few days. Very grumpy too (no change there, then ;)). Had odd food cravings. Higher than average temperature. Experienced apparent implantation cramps and a little spotting a week ago. All looked good. We were very excited. Very.

Then she retested again last night at 8pm. A BFN. Not to worry we thought, she'd drunk a gallon of water - the HCG must've been diluted.

We'll leave it until morning and a FMU (is that right? I may be straying from my comfort zone now). Another BFN. Utter gloom. Total and utter gloom.

She's on the sofa now watching a week's worth of Corrie. She still hasn't come on, although, as she's felt for the last few days she feels like she's about to.

My guess is that it was a chemical pregnancy. But is there still hope? Any words of wisdom much appreciated. I feel so helpless.

OP posts:
KickTheGuru · 20/07/2012 13:00

Swedgirl - temps are actually a good thing to "post" track with. You will notice an increase in temperature after ovulation. Depending on the egg dropping, this is touch and go as to its effectiveness

But here is the bitch of it all - ovulation has three phases. The phase when the LH hormone increases, then CM increases and the ovulatory phase takes over. This can happen in about 5 - 8 days. Post that is the luteal phase - in essence the two week wait.

The 5 - 8 days tries to keep in mind that your egg may drop anytime in a week after you've had the positive smiley face. Not everyone will drop the egg in 48 hours so it's not very reliable to base it around a day or two when you ovulate.

Medically, 70% of women may have the ovulatory phase before day 10 and after day 17 - since we don't all have a 28 day cycle and also, the human body doesn't whatever it likes anyway.

The best chance you can give yourself HONESTLY is to hump every other day from the day your AF finishes until the day your next AF arrives. The egg dropping is the biggest mystery and none of us are sure when that will happen.

Swedgirl · 20/07/2012 12:45

Hello again MainlyMaynie, sorry for poor spelling!
We've been in Sweden for 6 weeks!

Swedgirl · 20/07/2012 12:40

Hi MainlyMayne,
I can imagine that your son must have been a great distraction from being in an alien environment. So far I have judged when I'll be fertile by cervical fluids, but never temperature. Will it suddenly drop or increase when I'm ovulating?
I'm keeping positive as I've two more cycles before I'm due back in the UK for IVF, and I'd really like this to happen without all the intrusion that IVF entails Smile

MainlyMaynie · 20/07/2012 12:14

I only charted my temp for a couple of months and after that I could just tell from cervical fluid. I usually used an OPK to check as well. Both times I got pregnant it was on the day of ovulation, so I think that's what we need! The Duofertility thing looks really good.

I moved from UK to Netherlands when DS was 8 weeks. How long have you been in Sweden? TBH with having DS it actually lessened the stress as I was just focused on him. Having waited so long, it was all absorbing. It gets hard to keep up hope after years of trying, but it is so worth hanging on.

Swedgirl · 20/07/2012 10:37

Thanks Maples.. Duofertility does sound good. My BF has made enquiries with the company to see if it's right for us. It certainly sounds preferable to IVF in my opinion Smile

maples · 20/07/2012 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swedgirl · 20/07/2012 10:08

hey guys, been looking for these photographs on the website (lots of smiley babies!), but now realise that these are in the book. I'll just have to wait for the post! I'm intrigued now..!

kalidasa · 20/07/2012 09:19

My DP read TCOYF when we were first together (because I used it for contraception and he'd never heard of it) and was transfixed by the middle "full colour picture" section!!

Swedgirl · 20/07/2012 09:06

Hi SomethingSuitablyWitty... I have not yet seen such photographs on the site - just had my breakfast but might brave it later.. ! Thanks (shock)

Swedgirl · 20/07/2012 08:59

Hi MainlyMaynie. Nice to meet you too. Yes, I think it will make me feel more in control. I've never charted my temp before, I've learnt to listen to changes in my body, but I think doing both makes sense. You have moved too?! You can appreciate the stress then! Where were you and where are you now? Smile

SomethingSuitablyWitty · 20/07/2012 08:57

Best of luck this month Swedgirl! Fingers crossed for you. TCOYF is indeed very informative, though those candid cervical mucus pictures are hard to forget Grin...

Welcome to MN!

MainlyMaynie · 20/07/2012 08:35

Nice to 'meet' you here. TCOYF is great, I'm sure it will at least help you feel more in control. Hope you're feeling ok now, those days of uncertainty are absolutely the worst. We've recently moved country too, so I sympathise with the double stress!

Swedgirl · 20/07/2012 06:35

Hi ladies (and smurf), this is Paolo's GF. Thank you to everyone who has so kindly posted words of support and wisdom, during what has been 6 pretty testing days. AF is here, but I'm hoping that she'll not outstay her welcome as she is a pain. I've signed up to the TCOYF website and am now using their calender to track this months fertility. The book is in the post.

I hadn't realised that MN had so much to offer - I'm a convert now!.... Good luck to you all and thanks again!

KickTheGuru · 19/07/2012 21:26

I believe being the only one IS the privilege... ;)

paolocee · 19/07/2012 16:39

Does the Smurf position come with any privileges? It's a consideration.

OP posts:
maples · 19/07/2012 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KickTheGuru · 19/07/2012 16:09

You're going to be the centre of attention.

The only Smurf in the Smurfette village Grin

paolocee · 19/07/2012 16:05

Hey, I WILL be back. You won't be rid of me that easily.....

OP posts:
SomethingSuitablyWitty · 19/07/2012 15:41

Glad the rollercoaster is over. Everything crossed for better luck soon.

KickTheGuru · 19/07/2012 15:41

Line

Good luck for the future. And all the very best to your other half.

I hope your dream comes true soon :)

paolocee · 19/07/2012 15:36

Hurrah. AF is here. Let a line be drawn. Thanks everyone for all your very kind words and wishes. We both really appreciate them.

OP posts:
Dollydowser · 19/07/2012 15:17

You do have to be careful with Vitamin C in excess during pregnancy. The baby can get used to the higher levels and therefore need higher amounts when born.

KickTheGuru · 19/07/2012 14:51

Christ I remember that from over December. We tested for ages - was 14 days late and then, it hit on Xmas day.

We even tried a blood test but got a negative. Was so confused but my doctor said to leave it another week and booked an appointment to see her the next Monday. I think Xmas was on the Saturday.

Its the waiting to know either way that is rubbish. Sorry man :(

paolocee · 19/07/2012 14:47

Kick

Thanks for asking.
Still no AF, FFS (now, there's an acronym I'm happy to use). Still bloated to all hell. Very grumpy, understandably. Just wants it done. And I don't blame her.
Mind you she's made some fab hummus and a blinding soup today, so it's not all bad.

OP posts:
KickTheGuru · 19/07/2012 13:48

How you guys feeling today?

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