The BESH Fillies Are Under Starters Orders

well done faif! your behaviour modification techniques would make supernanny proud!

Deffo agree re the weight loss incentive. I can never do it without a very real target to aim for, wedding dress etc.

Oh and in PantGate update - when I got in tonight he'd put another load on. I got it tumble dried and put it away. 8 pairs of pants! but here's the best part....he just put today's undies...in the washing basket!!!! I'm not sure if he's twigged it was simply me not picking it up but somewhere in that mind a connection is made

Evening BESH. I've just scuttled in from the rain - tis tipping it down here!

Massive boo to work shitness, camel and allypally. It takes up such a portion of our lives that it's awful when it's not going well.

Another huge boo to rubbish consultant an referral news, faith. I swear they are puttin more and more obstacles in the way for ivf because of funding cuts. Round our way they have recently changed the cutoff age to be 34. Given that I'll be 32 this year, and GP won't refer me until December, this does not fill me with joy. But iirc you lost the stone pretty quickly - if you can do it once, you can do it again. And as you say, you can use it as a timetable and something to aim at. Great news on msb's swimmers, too!

Waves to all other BESHes!

Sounds a lot like where I work NHS

Well faitharooney the short answer is work in finance. Which is basically dull but on a good day kind of ok. Problem is so many layers of hierarchy and all the politics (it's a huge organisation) so I turn up to work and do all the things my local bosses tell me to do only to be told at the end of the year that I wasn't doing the things that my ultimate bosses want (people I have zero to do with and are so senior they don't spend time with us minions) so I'm basically doing a shit job. (which my local bosses passionately disagree with). So I'm totally caught in the middle.

Deep joy.

I have bought 2 euro millions tickets to cheer myself up tonight....

What do you do kneesup?

Ok so I hate work today more than I hate celery. Which is a LOT!

Grrrrrr.

If I am not diffed when I start POAS like a mental patient next week I am going to cry (again). al I hear your worky pain. Bollocks to all of it is my advice. No-one ever looked back on their life on their death bed and regretted getting a less than brilliant performance rating at work. So they can all just
Piss
Right
Off
Up
Their
Own
Bums

Okay, I can't read... But I suppose a commitment is okay to ask (I think it is the same here) even if it is alway difficult to hear. And especially in your case as your health generally has taken a big hit these past 6 months or so. Maybe they should focus on getting rid of your pains, I am sure weight will follow suit!

The ball gets rolling again when I've recovered from the lap, I can do another IUI after the next droid (which I suspect is 2 weeks from now, although ovulation signs have been rather unclear with the general bloodiness). Probably will try to get one in, nothing changes as there was nothing untoward inside me

To be fair, no-one said I'm too heavy, more that the PCT referral criteria says the lady must have a BMI of under 30 to be referred. This is evidence based because IVF is less likely to be successful if you are obese. So I have to show the commitment to lose the weight to be eligible.

When does the ball get rolling for you lemmypie? Is the Next IUI booked?

MSB is lovely but at the you're too heavy comment. But I think it is a blessing in disguise!

Since my broken collar bone (remember in Feb) I have failed on the exercise front as well, and my BMI was over 25 for the op, for the first time ever. So I now need to loose some too, before we move into IVF-territory. There will be a few more attempts with IUI and lots of running once I feel well again. We can support each other here. And you can use your mental CD!

Forgot everything on the previous page, so generalised waves!

I almost feel like its a blessing in disguise though aside from the mortification of being too heavy to qualifyI really don't think we've had enough time TTC since MSB was treated. I'm inclined to set a time scale/goal both to lose the weight and to give nature a fighting chance and will then inform them we're ready to go on the waiting list. I guess I need to talk to MSB about that. Fortunately since he is rather 'cuddly' he is very much talking about us doing this together which helps :)

Sheesh. San you imagine how much I would have to lose to reduce my BMI from 35. Mental!

Yes it's just annoying that I was under but have gained due to illness. But then again maybe I don't really want to go straight to ivf and want to give it time to conceive naturally now the swimmers are sorted sp I don't feel railroaded into it?! I don't know. I'm confused Oh he looked like Trevor Macdonald!

I sent you a PM Pone...it was a shameless plug for moving close but it was before I finished reading the Fred and now see you'd be working from home.

Nope, not in this lifetime - I don't have 150k lying around. I'll push my boys into it and live through them. :) won't need to move there, will work from home.

Interesting pone could you juggle both?

Well I'm back from the appointment. Some good news - swimmers are way better :) a bit on the low side but the quality is normal. Locum consultant (who I didn't warm to) aid given the time length we should consider ivf. I'm not 100% convinced about that yet since really we never stood a chance of conceiving for the first two years. We asked about IUI but he said the PCT won't fund it because it's not proven to be effective enough. Here's the kicker though. I'm too fat. Not by much - BMI is 30 and has to be 29 or below. So I have to lose the weight before I can be referred. I am mortified. Particularly frustrated because I lost a stone when I was running - in March before I was hospitalised my BMI was 28.6 :( tbh I know I need to lose the weight and I'm going to have to put the effort in but I still think we stand a chance of conceiving naturally now MSB is in normal ranges and if I can lose some weight. He's suggested I have a dietetic referral - I agreed so as not to look like refusing stuff but to be honest I know exactly why I'm overweight! Ridiculous thing is all I want right now is a huge bar of chocolate....

Woo hoo faif. You won pantgate!

Camel this would have been picked up, fertility woes or not. I had my smear on schedule, after 3 years, as normal. In fact, I suspect that the immune-suppressing steroids I was taking to deal with my high NK cells were in fact responsible for allowing the infection to become active and damage some cervical cells. Having spent 6 months trying to suppress my immune system, I am now doing everything I can to boost it!

alwyn that really sucks. It sounds like you ahve options though.

Thanks LP. Did you have LLETZ or some other treatment? The odd thing is, despite my horror of burns, I think I would be ok with the old treatment of lasering the bad cells off, but that has fallen out of favour. With LLETZ they try to slice off tha bad stuff plus a bit of the healthy tissue under it so they can check in the lab that they had got it all. Which makes sense I suppose. But it is just so unpleasant.

An anniversary holiday would be fab idea, but unfortunately I will be spending our anniversary holed up in a European hotel with a load of middle aged lawyers preparing for a trial about corruption. I am hoping KFZK will be able to travel out for the nearest weekend and we can sneak away for the odd dinner. I am likely to be on a sechsban then anyway after the LLETZ. :( We do have plans for a beach holiday in the autmumn though.

Pone that sounds fab. Would husband move with you or would you end up in a weekly commuting relationship arrangement?

Dor that is sh1t.

I'm feeling a bit more positive today as I have a plan. I am throwing everything possible at building up my immune system. I think time is too short before when the consultant wants to do the LLETZ to hope to remove the lesions by then, but I need to try to kick the HPV into submission anyway so it can go and lie dormant in my system and not do any harm.

Did any of you see the BESH news story on BBC Breakfast this morning? It was about increased numbers of women having babies in their 40s, with commentators trotting out the usual stuff about how it is silly to postpone babybee making for careers. Twats. Why is there never any mention on these discussions about men not wanting to settle down or being ready for kids, the difficulty of affording kids now when many people are still paying off student loans in their 20s and the NHS fertility testing taking so bloody long? Grrrr. I had to turn it off when it came round for a second time.

hello Laura. I am doing fine - my little monster is asleep next to me with his feet wedged in to my arse.

I have an interview for a job at Cambridge uni - which seems ironic because I had a choice 6 years back of taking a place (vet medicine) or trying to find a man and have a family. AIBU to abandon husband & kids (although quite nice) to go and do the vetmed instead?

I am humphing. Have just been to discuss extremely expensive life and critical illness insurance this morning. Despite answering no to all the medical questions they still think my premium will be higher because I have a BMI of 35. It just feels wrong that I can be perfectly healthy but a bit fat and still get penalised for it. :(

Pone! You made me laugh out loud on that Boden fred. How're things?

What mixed news, I find here.

Well done for being told bugs, you just focus on getting well again. And the doggy seems an excellent way to go about that!

And HURRAH for pantsgate faif. Now next week you might need to repeat this to get the message across but maybe, just maybe you'll get there!

So sorry al that is rubbish. I think it is a bit late to tell you now. Is this usual? Agree with the Beshes about thinking whether you really need to wait for full maternity cover before trying again. Have a sneaky hug all the same!

Sorry about the menkul flyingbeast. Hope work settles and you turn out to be diffed!! Big fat sorry about the womble cramping cave. can droid just bugger off?

How are things in euroland today? Thinking of you!

Well done with PantsGate Faithy!!!

Sorry to hear about your news alwyn - not on. But on a brighter note, actually you only have to be working at a job for 26 weeks continuously to be eligible for Statutory Maternity Pay. And if you haven't been employed for 26 weeks at the point of you going on maternity leave then you're likely to be covered for Maternity Allowance (not as much as SMP, but better than nothing!)

Euro - I'm so sorry about your news. For what it's worth, I've also had to deal with a similar procedure because of HPV and it wasn't as bad as I psyched myself up for. (I was initially so horrified at the diagnosis but since have known several other women dealing with the same - unfortunately HPV is prevalent these days and our laydee bits are highly susceptible to it. I hadn't even been slutty!!) Perhaps a beach holiday anniversary celebration is in order for you and KFZK?

alwyn if my understanding is correct, maternity allowance isn't substantially different to basic maternity pay in the big scheme of things. Babies don't have to be expensive and perhaps you could make up any shortfall by selling something?