The BESH Fillies Are Under Starters Orders

I'd do it, cave.

Oh absolutely, mountainranger. Screeching "I am boootiful" with running mascara, they must flock to you like bees to a honeypot. I'd do you.

Rising lessons are going very well, thank you, by which I mean I'm enjoying them very much despite my gross incompetence. I'm not a natural physical learner, and am too shy to ask anatomically precise questions about which part of my ladybits should I be coming down on (if indeed any). But the horse is nice. And I rock a pair of jodhpurs.

How are your riding lessons going norf? I've only worn my wedding & engagement rings maybe a dozen times - want to keep your options open innit.

Oh God, I feel for you, faif. I bet it was emotionally exhausting. how are you feeling this morning?

sinking argh I could murder the nob who penned that ditty for it to be repeated by fucknuts all over.

faith I'm sorry you're having ishoos. I think you look gorgeous. Have you tried clutching a bottle of champers, wearing 6"stillies, a split thigh one-shouldered dress, standing a-top a grand with your mascara running down your face and screeching "I am booootifulll no matter what you saaaaay, words can't bring me daaaaaahn". Works for me.

Hola peeps

Faife, glad wedding was fun, well coped with it all. Fortunately the wedding I went to last week was debauchery and drunkenness to excess childfree so managed to avoid overt child ness. Couldn't avoid those up the duff, but small mercies etc. well done on sticking out till near 11!

Cave- hope cycle sorts its self out and the cramping declares itself, one way or another.

Euro, sorry it's all so shit. I know 2 people who've had treatment for CIN changes who were given warnings about premature labour. Between them they now have 3 children after very unexciting pregnancies. And, of course, the pleural of anecdote is data... But you get my drift. When do you get to speak to the doc again?

It seems my shitty questionnaire reached its destination, and I have now been sent another letter asking me to book repeat bloods and fanjo cam. I have to ring them on cd1, within the next 8 weeks... That might be a problem, given the last cycle of 77 days... Ho hum.

Have you/are you considering POAS or is the temp drop putting you off?
Wedding has been luffly. I'm flagging now. Not drinking norf cos makes the kidney pain worse :( did have one cheeky glass of wine without major repercussions but wasn't chancing any more. Today has been a bit emotionally tough - body confidence is at all time low, a couple of tiny baybees and many pregnant women. I just never imagined we'd be this far down the line without winning a baybee.....I think I'm nearly ready for my bed!

Aw, feefee, I bet it'll be easier when it gets going. The anticipation sucks - I always work myself up into a panicky fury in advance of these things too :(

Why can't you hae a drink? Are you driving? Or is it because of medication?

Bastard droid, cavey. How long does that make this cycle?

europa, I completely understand. I am the same (but without the high powered legal bit). I feel a need to be able to speak to doctors on their own level - obviously not a goer overall, but broadly possible on a narrow area, with enough research. Womble ache sounds good. Fingers crossed for more signs of returning normality.

:( sorry cavey that sucks.

Euro the research is just the way you handle things, you don't want to (effectively) go into battle unarmed I guess. Everything just needs time to settle down and gets sorted. I hope you understand what's going on soon.

Ooof we're 45 minutes early for the wedding (assuming she's on time!) Hotel is 10 mins away and can't book in til 12 with a £10 charge do there's no point so we're just sitting around. Suddenly dreading bring surrounded by pregnant people/people with children :( and can't even have a drink to console myself. Poor me! Sure it'll be fine, its just sitting waiting for it!

Norfy I can't help it! I'm applying work methodology to work. I do international disputes work, across a variety of industries. They are huge cases so I tend to immerse myself in one for months at a time, learn loads about an industry and then brain dump it to move on to the next thing. (In the last few years I have become familiar with the finer points of running luxury hotels and how to drill an oil well when you are 100s of kms from the nearest road...) I seem to be doing the same with this. I think I have read enough now to write my own academic paper! The dr is going to hate me when I turn up at the next appointment ready to cross examine him.

Oh Cavey how bloody annoying.

I seem to have no cycle at all since I took the IVF drugs. they were designed to switch everything off so I guess it is normal. But being a worrier, I am anxious to feel ov and for the first time in a couple of years even want to see AF arrive, so that I know my body is back in working order. I have some ov cramps and a weird dull ache in my womble, so I think something is starting to happen down there. The "good" thing about the abnormal cells is that it has really taken my mind off all of the ttc stuff

My PCT doesn't treat CIN1, like you say. It re-tests you in 6 months time instead. Talking it over again sounds very sensible, even of only to help you understand why they think things should happen differently. I'm another academic article reader...

Fanks Pone. I'll do that.

euro perhaps have a wee chat with curly on the PESH thread? She had LLETZ and is now on her 2nd ESH baby. First delivery a little early, but all perfectly normal. :)

I quite like the idea of turning some of my colleagues into animals, harry potter stylee, faif.

Fanks for bad-bits-aimed anvil.

Norfy the gynae wanted me to book in for LLETZ treatment in 3 weeks, when the IVF drugs should have stopped doing funny things to my cervix. I am really, really not sure about this LLETZ thing. It looks fooking nasty (made the mistake of watching a youtube vid of the treatment) and can have bad effects on ability to carry to term and dilation during labour because it weakens the cervix and leaves scar tissue. Plus it involves slicing and burning my ladybits, which is never appealling. I've done loads of research, read academic articles and so on and it seems that CIN1 is almost never treated. Part of me thinks that having it removed when it is shallow might be better than waiting to see if it progresses. But I need the gynae to explain to me why he thinks this CIN1 should be treated now when that is not usually done. I suspect the HPV 16 result plays into that recommendation but I have found info that suggests that fewer cases of CIN1 with HPV16 regress than without it, but about half still do. So that is a very long winded way of putting that we have booked in an additional appointment next week to just talk things over with him. I don't think my insurance will cover it, but I figure it is worth spending a couple of hundred quid to avoid slashing and burning of my lady bits if possible. frankly with the about I am spending on fertility drs and woo, it is a pish in ocean...

My work place is under 'reconfiguration' and 'transformation' leading my colleague yesterday to refer to it as 'transfiguration' which I believe is what Harry Potter types do to turn themselves into animals?! Anyway, wards closing, staff moving (hopefully not many and only those who want to) but its an unsettling time for all.

MSB and I have set a date of October to aim for me to lose a stone and give a really good crack at TTC now we know his swimmers are ok. I am comfortable with that goal and the time frame for TTC naturally vs the point we'll need to accept it'll be IVF. I don't know what the waiting list is but in this huge shire things tend to be long!

Oh no euro not you too? Maybe this eternally shite weather is making bosses grumpy and increasing work woes. Really feel for you about fanj-in-itis. Such bad luck to have to deal with that on top of everything else.

Not diseased and useless for long though, I hope, euro. When is treatment?

Camel my work is pretty sh1t at the moment too. There is a lot of uncertainty here. The head of the firm is over from the US today, so we will see what he has to say about it all.

Shred I cannot believe that they are making the IVF cut off 32 in your area . Given how long it takes to try naturally for a while, realise it isn't working and then work your way through the NHS testing system, that is going to rule a hell of a lot of people out.

I feel quite down today. I hate my own useless and diseased foof. :(