The BESH Fillies Are Under Starters Orders

The way I'm feeling today I could happily strap someone to a chair and elaborately chop off an ear....

Where has all this rage come from? Maybe is a side effect of being barren and ancient????

Well done for making the grown up decision re tests. Keep us posted re how you get on

Heh camel. Am imagining the BESH in a reservoir dogs stylee..

Have calmed down a little. Am going to ring again after a reasonable, for me, 35 day cycle. Or maybe a little earlier... Shall still harrumph indignantly about being denied another dildocam (what do you mean I said, just last night, I didn't want another? Lies, all lies)

And got a parking ticket tonight. For having a staff permit while parked in the staff car park. Sigh. I'm surrounded by imbeciles.

sinks that is so fecking unreasonable of them. Proper case of computer says no. Fecking jobsworths. Definitely lie. You need these tests doing. Might need to come clean when results are being interpreted though as assume it will make a difference in what they tell you if you're not actually on cd1...?

bugs hope the ectoplasm clears up! You're right to keep an eye on it. Maybe you could start a blog? That would put the baby-dust brigade right off!

All - thanks for kicking the shit out of droid. I think I'm going to have to start threatening R2's family if I'm ever going to get it to bend to my will. you will submit you bastard-faced-robot- wanker

Just popping in to say hi to those I know. And hi to those I don't! It's been a long time....still not diffed . But I have lost my dildocam virginity, so that's something. Dye in the toobs next - I can hardly wait.

A special punch in the ribs to ma hags Cavey, Norf and Faith.

sinky grrrr what a bunch of fuckwits. In your situation I would be tempted to lie but would it be worth calling again to shout reason with them again? for you.

Also about camel's droid . And sorry that your body is still being awkward, bugs - keeping an eye sounds like the right thing - would be rotten luck to get an infection too.

That's a lot of anger! Off to needles lady in an hour - maybe she'll calm me down.

bugs it's probably something dislodged by last night's activities, but if it continues, off to the dr with you.

sinking the additional stress caused by this kind of nonsense really winds me up. See also, having to book a HSG between end of period and ov, but not letting you book in advance if you have regular cycles, lost referrals and general admin crapness. Grrr.

Do I ring tomorrow, hope I get someone else, and lie about my last period?

Argh! I'm an honest person- I resent them making me lie. There is no option. Bugger waiting an indeterminate number of days. Do I wait till a reasonable, 28 day cycle then ring though? (having never had a 28 day cycle in my life, I can't see how this would be any more accurate)

Argh!

camel, I'm pounding the crap out of your droid. It's the only hope to get my blood pressure down and stop me swearing..

I guess it's better out than in. Though it's a cold comfort.

hilarity, that is beyond ridiculous! Absolute fuckers. Hang on while I get my riding whip.

Hola
Only a short one as hiding in loos at work
Fecking bastard twatty droid just arrived unannounced and 4 days early. Beyond

Bastarding fuckwit clinic pleb won't let me get my bloods done. Apparently it has to be on cd1. Even though last cycle was 77days. Oh no, that bit in the letter about irregular cycles more than 6weeks just getting them done randomly is wrong. And the "no bloods within 8 weeks and you're kicked off the list" is also wrong, and of course that won't happen...

Cocking minion. Why does it matter to her is my bloods "are less accurate than we'd like". My fecking body isn't working as well as I'd like.

Annnndddd, breath.

Sorry about the green pant snot bugs

Knob jockeys. The lot of them. (not you bugs)

Urgh, bugs. But if it's a foof infection it's better to know about it before it gets hold. Congrats on the shag, though :)

Thanks for all of your comments, ladies. lemons you are right that we did have an appointment this week, but I have put it back. At the appointment last week, the consultant said to come back in 3 weeks for the LLETZ because by then my cervix should look normal again after the downregging drugs (it was too tight for him to see everything when he did the colposcopy when I was still on the drugs). However, I made the appointment this week as my head was whirling around with questions and I felt that I needed to have them answered before the treatment appointment. However, I have since decided to push it back because, whilst I really don't want to have treatment, I would like him to be able to get a proper look at the area and potentially take a biopsy to check that it is low grade, and he is unlikely to be able to do that this week as my cycle hasn't come back yet so my cervix probably hasn't returned to normal either. His seccy has assured me that there will be time for questions before the treatment and he won't just "dive right in" . So my plan is to go to the appointment to cross examine him with a long list of questions with the aim of getting to the point where he will do another colposcopy and biopsy any dodgy areas he finds. There is a chance that he will somehow convince me to have the treatment there and then, or that I might see the lesion on the screen and react by thinking 'getitoffgettitoffgetitoff NOW' but I'm fairly sure that I am not going to consent to the LLETZ at this appointment. I was on the immune suppresants for 6 months and I am sure that they contributed to this. I would like to see what 6 months off them does. And under the normal NHS protocol, I wouldn't have seen anyone after one bad smear, just been called for a repeat 6 months later. So I am thinking I will have this appointment and possibly a biopsy and then go back to the NHS schedule.

The danger is the time scale that I was mentioning yesterday because of the need for a clear smear before IVF at most clinics. So I leave this for 6 months. If it doesn't go away, I have the treatment then. And then I have to leave it a few months to settle down, and then hope I get a clear smear. I could always lie, I suppose. From what I have read regression rates are actually higher during pregnancy. I guess they tell you not to get pg because if it does get worse during pregnancy, you have some tough decisions to make. If I'd known that when I first got the result, I wouldn't have freaked out and insisted on seeing someone asap, but they don't tell you that in the leaflet, it just says not to get pregnant until the problem is resolved.

In the middle of all this, I had almost forgotten that we are seeing Mr Gorgy tomorrow for further immunology tests. I am going to go ahead because I want to test for infections and stuff, but I don't think I would do any more immune-suppressing treatment, for obvious reasons. KFZK is in agreement with that (in fact I think he would insist on it)

I need to do some scanties shopping. My bridey pants (set I bought for my wedding) has just fallen apart. At least the marriage outlasted the wedding knicks.

at Old Lady Pants

The Mister calls by beige nix my Old Lady pants. Nice.

Yes dor, the beige tents. I have a few of them too, they're great for under light clothes but terrible for activities that don't involve clothes. SB does not see the humour of them, sadly. Well done on the Mister for that!

I have an appointment at the GP to remove the itchy stiches

I guess sinky is no longer my twin do tell all about the fun collection

Ah, that explains it faif, I recognise the aspirations, but getting it done is a different story . Generally I agree with your statement about stories and real life, although recently, I think euro got a harsh deal from real life too.

faith what a beauty you are

I'm small of nork and never really wore a bra on a regular basis. I have a 28 back so always have to have them adjusted. I eventually gave in and treated my self to a trip to Rigby and Peller and got measured and bought two very expensive bras which they sent off to their seamstress.
As I have sore boobs now I have to wear a bra daily but can't wear my nice ones because the underwire was hurting me. I've been and bought two plain Sloggi ones, which are a 30 back but will suffice as my ribcage will expand. I felt relief at the thought that this time round I can afford to buy nice nursing bras and have them altered to fit.

Hum. I have no excuses for my bra mingingness. I have lots of bras. Lots and lots. I have a filing system of sorts. And yet, I can't bear to "waste" a good bra on work, so out comes the usual suspects- beige, black and blue. Missing bows and saggy straps.

I'm such a catch..

I also have a fun bra collection courtasy of GHJ, but you guys don't need to hear about that

The matching bra and knickers is always an ambition of mine. Was only when I had to run out and buy new stuff post-fire I managed to get 5 matching sets. Now I wash regularly as part of my cleaning regime I can nearly always match. I do have a few about 20 pairs of black cotton Tesco comfy knickers, particularly preferred when droid is in town. The daily bra change is essential due to my being a sweaty Betty (even with triple dry at night). I will ring GP in a bit for a non-urgent appointment one evening this week as I was rather sore/uncomfortable last night. Oh and they are generally from Tesco or Asda :)

euro it's easy to get distracted looking ahead but I think you need to keep bringing it back (reining it in? See what I did there?) until you've seen the doc this week and know what the POA is. Remember: Reality is kinder than the stories we tell ourselves about it

I have nice comfy M&S black knickers too but have also added a couple of pairs in a spectacular shade of beige to wear under lighter things. The Mister thinks they are hilarious and frightening at the same time.

Morning norfy. Sadly SB does not approve of my enormous collection of plain black M&S briefs. It is not fair, as they're so comfortable. And if you have enough, they don't fall apart as quickly...

But I did decide I was due another Nice Bra. But being gifted in the boob-department means it is expensive and a faff to find ones that fit nicely. I don't see any point in nice (read vaguely new) sports bra, as long as the boobs are contained and secured, the greyness does not matter.

Morning, citronella. I really should try to be nicer with my underwear. I've made improvements on the bra front in the recent sales, but I'm bad at throwing away old torn saggy ones (what if there's a bra emergency and I run out?), but my knickers are ancient comfy 2-sizes-too-big M&S cotton lovelies.

in (bloody space) complete awe, of course.

And cross-post wave at another of the skanky bra-triplets, norf

Excellent boobage faif. But seriously you do look lovely, and like it was good fun!! and I don't know you, phew Also incomplete awe with daily bra change. I kind of have three decent bras (one of which has matching knickers) and about 6 sporty ones, which are grey and grim. Waves at sinky's collection. And norf's friend of course . I used to have allergic reactions to absolutely everything, including my own underarm sweat, faif as well a boil after a reaction to deodorant (I sound lovely, don't I?) So if it was me, I'd get myself checked out for a resurgence of these things...

Sorry about the mizness, euro. I guess it is only a fair reaction to the situation. You are seeing the consultant again this week, aren't you? blaming my post-op brain for not remembering details Totally understand if you want to give your body the best shot at cleaning it up yourself, and the procedure didn't sound fun. Keeping stuff crossed for magic blueberry induced achievements of the killer cells.

Indeed, where is Frankel? I am nearly ready to get back on the horse, we might have attempted SFF, which was no fun, as my dissolvable stitches have not dissolved. I might get the nurse at our GP to remove them for me...