Is everyone in the world pregnant but me!

Hey Ilove I think that this thread is the place to be self-indulgent. I'm not sure if you feel the same but I find I go through life at the moment smiling and not really letting on how I feel while inside I spend quite a lot of my time feeling sad/frustrated/angry and jealous. When I post on here I feel like I can say how I really feel. I also think sometimes although of course I'm writing it as part of this forum to share with you and others I'm also kind of writing it down to let it out for myself. Does that make any sense?

Sending you a un-mn hug too.

sorry for being so self indulgent!

oh purple that feeling is so familiar - it's hard isn't it.
I had 2 friends announce their 2nd/3rd pregnancies last week. One did it very thoughtfully and tactfully but the other sent me a group text with her "wonderful news" which made it very hard to swallow as she knows everything we've been though. DH tells me i need to realise she is a toxic friend who is no good for me.

My AF is due on weds and i am feeling rubbish about it all. It just seems so cruel. We should be expecting our DC2 in october, not crying every month when AF comes :(

You too Count

Just spent the weekend away with dh's family. Ds played so nicely with our Dn, gave me a little glimpse of what it might be like with two. Saw loads of pregnant women on their 2nd/3rd dc but swallowed down the feelings and focused on enjoying the time away....most of the time

Thanks Ilove, I'm feeling a bit calmer today. I'm glad to hear that the sticks don't always work all the time. I used to be able to tell when I was ovulating from cramps and feeling a bit hotter but in the last few months I haven't been sure. To be honest I think I am over thinking everything. I'm just hoping that once I get to summer hols (I'm a teacher) my general stress levels will calm down and I may have a better chance of conceiving. It's so hard ins't it- I feel for you avoiding toddler groups. I feel very bitter when people have a second child, first I'm fine with but second just hits that nerve and I feel so horrible feeling like that.

Thanks for the hug though, it was much appreciated and no no rats in the bedroom..even the trouser one was nowhere to be seen

Hi purple - oh, how i understand how you're feeling. It is soooooo hard when your body won't do what everyone else's does very easily. remind me how old your DD is. I have basically checked out of all (toddler) social situations as i can't handle the fact all the other toddler mums have a bump or a baby and i have neither - just a lot of painful memories and one fallopian tube left.

I have no advice but just wanted to give you a big HUG.

RE: the ov sticks - sometimes they don't work.... I used them for 4 months (cleablue ones) and only saw a smiley once but i am pretty sure i was ovulating as when i bought the CBFM it gave me a peak every month from month one. Can you use the natural signals of ov to help you dtd at the right time?

I hope you wake up feeling better and with no rats in the bed - apart from the trouser rat! ;)

I've just worked out that I should have ovulated two days ago and nothing has shown on those sticks. Well today was faulty but now I'm worried I'm just not ovulating. At the moment I'm in bed crying while dh snores besides me Most of the time I manage to keep all my crazy in but sometimes the thought of not being able to conceive again makes me feel like I can't breathe.

Pipbin I'm sorry bet you just want to scream. We are having a crappy time at the moment here too. Dh has injured his back. Our house is being attacked by juvenile rats, we live on the back of woods and have had problems with them under the house for ages. Tried so many times to get rid of them but now the fuckers have got in so Dh with his bad back is like a rat hunter. It sounds hideous, it is hideous but I promise my house is very clean. Really everything at the moment is a complete turn off and Dh and I are too knackered to dtd.

I've been using the ovulation sticks, nothing so far but today was the day I though I'd be ovulating. Did the test, the bloody thing didn't work- didn't even get a surge line. I think I'll give up this month, what with backs, rats, ibs, conception vitamins making me feel worse and faulty sticks. What is the bloody point?

Oh I'm currently sitting in Halfords in my lunch hour getting a new tyre cos mine has a nail in it too.

All non-life threatening things but honestly arrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh

So today I've been asked to countersign the passport for a very dear friend's baby, watched Walking Dead where a character has got pregnant despite being under attack from zombies, during this they were advertising clear blue digital, I go to bed to get away from it all and the comedy on the radio is all about pregnant women.
Arrrrgh.

I get that "i wish the world would stop till i'm ready" too....

I also find it hard to do toddler groups etc as everyone has a baby or a bump to go with their toddler.... it sucks doesn't it. But at least i have my adorable toddler x

Count I want to turn back time too

Been to dr this week as I think I've got mild IBS. Dr said it sounds likely so just advised keeping a food diary. Anyway I couldn't figure out why I had symptoms at the moment because I'm trying to eat so healthily and exercise. The last time I suspected it was when I was really over weight and eating badly which would make more sense. Just had a total lightbulb moment though...I'm into my second month of taking those pregnacare conception vitamins. Googled vitamin supplements and found out they can irritate your stomach, particularly magnesium, which pregnacare contains. So I'm stopping them now in the hope they are the cause. Don't know whether to laugh or cry though at the fact that my aid for ttc is making me feel ill and not at all interested in dtd

Pipbin I'm a real beginner, just started a month ago. I'm using the phone app 'Couch to 5k' and am now running for bursts of 5mins at a time. I know it's not a lot but it's 5 times more than I did a month ago. My reasons for running are two-fold, one to be fitter for ttc but also my Mum has just been diagnosed with type2 diabetes so I'm now statistically more likely to get it-thought I'd take precautions now

You and me both Purple. How far are you running.

It is good to have people to talk to in RL about it. I agree Count that people who have never had an issue conceiving can't really understand the problem. Just getting on with it worked for them and they can't see why it wouldn't for you.

Oh and Count, I completely agree about thinking now I should have tried when i was younger and fitter. I'm attempting running at the moment to get fit

Glad you have rl people Pipbin. I've not discussed this too much in rl yet. My friend at work knows and she is supportive. My best mate is 10 weeks pg with her second dc. She had an ectopic pg earlier this year so of course I am over the moon for her. She can be quite dismissive of other peoples worries though, when she told me bout the pg she asked if I was trying and I said I had been for a while. She gave me the 'it will happen' speech which hopefully it will but sometimes hearing that doesn't help. So mainly at the moment I'm only sharing on MN- so a massive thank you for listening and supporting.

glad you have RL people to talk to pipbin, though sad that your friend had to go through all of that.

I am lucky in that I have two friends in RL I can talk to. One is a very close friend who has two teenage children that she wanted but did get to the stage of 'trying' for.

Another is a friend who been through it all. She got as far as IVF but just before having it got pregnant. Sadly that baby was stillborn but she then went on to have two more happy and healthy. She is a great help as she has done all this before. She knows the drill as it were.