Rainbow Babies - hoping and trying for rainbows, loving and remembering our Angels xxx

Finally home!

Fan- I'm so sorry af came. Hope you are ok?

It was really lovely to meet blue and angel today, blue Ella is such a beautiful little girl, such a credit to you and you Dh!
Angel- pheobe is utterly gorgeous!
I'm sorry I didn't have much of a chance to speak you both properly, we left after the service. Again, it was really good to meet you both.

Hi everyone... Glad those of you that went to the service found it comforting... It sounds like a beautiful place?

FAN... Sorry your AF arrived.... You don't need to keep your chin up I front of us love. It's just not anything close to fair is it? Drink some wine and eat some chocolate! (and you're not being useless or selfish).

MATILDA.... Thanks for the kindness, and for thinking about Merryn.... I am a bit rubbish at crochet still, but the thought really is what counts on the blankets I think. I hope your being kind to yourself. It's not easy, and it's so up and down... One day at a time...

ELLYPOO, I don't blame you for not wanting to go back to Leeds... To soon and way too much.

We got a letter yesterday from the NICU team at GOSH saying how sorry they were about Merryn and inviting us to a meeting any time we want to go over what happened. It also included an account of what happened to her each day she was there, and on the day she died. It's kind of set me back a bit. I haven't read it all, but I don't want to throw it out. It's sitting in the kitchen like some bomb ticking. These are not the memories I want of my little girl. I don't have any of the ones I want though. I don't feel optimistic or anything positive today, I just feel gutted. Trying to keep strong for our boys, but it's such a struggle today... I just want to wake up from this now, this isn't my life.

Lovely to meet you today blizy and Angel
It was such a peaceful and touching memorial service and the garden was so peaceful and comforting!
and angel your Phoebe is just absolutely gorgeous and adorable! Georgie must be so proud of her little sister! x

Just as I read your post fan Strawberry Swing came on in the car hugs x

Its over for this month the spotting has started.

National Memorial Arboretum Moomin
DE13 7AR

Hope you all manage to meet up, where abouts is it x

blue and elly thanks, I just feel so useless and selfish. I just dont feel strong this month, usually I can turn on the carry on to the next cycle mode but Im not sure I can this month.

blizy and angel I've been studying your FB pictures to make sure I'll recognise you

fan big hugs x

Im pretty upset this morning, I just want to be pregnant! I dont think I can handle another non sticky bean, or a negative on monday.

Angel/blue- we are leaving about 10am, we are off to morrissons first to buy some lunch and fuel. I will be wearing black jeans and a white butterfly t shirt, I have glasses and shoulder length brownish hair! Hopefully see you both later!

blizy angel and blue sorry can't meet up with you today, still don't feel right. I'm jealous though!

wtw have a great day! Hope K really enjouys herself.

I'm feeling sick this morning but also have that dragging feeling AF is just around the corner.

Wtw have a fab time tomorrow xx

Meant that's where I m from originally now live in West Yorkshire!!!

Blizy,Blue we re aiming to be there about 12 as Pheb's will want dinner & meeting up with mum, dad, & now my brother's coming!!! So if u re both there about 1 ish give me a ring 077945 48084... ( Louise) !!!
Failing that we could have a quick meet after the service ???
Worcester Blizy ?? That's where I m from & my folks travelling up from there also...I won t come mob handed though!!! We ll ve leaving our house about 10:30 so if anything changes I ll check in on here before then as no wi-Fi at the Aboretum I think ... Xxx

blue self certify then when its been a week go into doctors and tell them you need more if you do. Be forceful with them.

The thing is with our surgery if you want an appointment on the day you don't get doctor of your choice, so I got a FY2 doctor, she clearly wasn't trained enough in having empathy... I told her about Sterre and that it is her birthday next week, but she clearly didn't get it, as she asked a few minutes later if this was my first pregnancy? obviously not...
I am consultant led yes, but won't see her again until my 20 week scan on 3rd of July.
I can self-certify myself, so might do that... I had already asked Wednesday off because that's Sterre's birthday.
No longer sleeping on sofa no, managed to stay in our bed with DH for the past 2 or 3 nights, if he does start to snore and I get irritated I move to the guest bed.

blizy will see if we can arrive around 1pm as well! I was planning on going to the war memorial dedication in the morning in the village (as part of my job) but can't be bothered to be honest.

Blue- I agree with fan, I would see another doctor. I think we will be leaving soon after the service ( we have to drive back to Glasgow) but it would still be nice go meet you.

blue I wouldn't be happy about that, go and see another doctor. Are you consultant led in this pregnancy? Can they sign you off? If not go in on monday to work and see if you can reduce hours or have a least one day off a week? When I was pg with fi I used up a lot of leave that I would lose during mat leave to having a day off a week. It really helped. Get some rest this weekend, put work out of you mind. Are u still sleeping on the sofa?

Not sure yet what time we'll be arriving, so maybe it's easiest to meet up after the service?
Looking forward to it!
Had quite a tough emotional day today...
Doctor didn't really pick up on my emotional state, even though I sat crying in her office and didn't give me any time off :(

wtw have a great time tomorrow, wow HMS warrior, great place. Hope the weathers good!

Fan I hope the tears are hormonal

Blizy glad you enjoyed monkey world

Hope all the ladies going to the sands service tomorrow have a wonderful day.

I'm so excited for my best friends wedding tomorrow. Tinged with a little sadness as I remember when we started planning it we were saying how we would have a 9 month old there as well as K. K is super excited to be bridesmaid especially as the ceremony is on board HMS Warrior

Blue/angle- I will
Be arriving around 1pm. We are staying in Worcester tonight, so still have to travel up. I'm happy to do whatever you both want?

Matilda- welcome to the thread, I'm so sorry to hear about Daniel.

Fan- hope you are feeling better?

Monkey works was amazing today!

Waves to everyone else, hope you have a good night.