Rainbow Babies - hoping and trying for rainbows, loving and remembering our Angels xxx

Poor E Blue hope the AB's do the trick quickly. She's had a really rough few days - as have you! Glad you're enjoying having some time off work.

Blizy really hope it's not AF xxx

Sounds like a good day off Angel and mu ch needed. Teething really does suck. Although it makes me wonder why does it hurt so much to grow milk teeth but adult teeth seem to come through with no pain? I asked K if her 2 big teeth were hurting and she said she couldn't feel them at all. Strange.

Will be thinking of you and DS tomorrow green All will be well and you can spoil him rotten after!

Mias Fan August Spilt Too Elly Trickle how are you all?

Found today really hard - the conflict between wanting Erin back so badly but then feeling like by wishing Erin back I'm being disloyal to this little one. Went to the cemetery and made sure that was all looking nice though and K made her a daisy chain. Council had promised to level and grass seed it about a month ago but it's still not done so will have to ring and chase them tomorrow as I want it looking nice by her birthday.

Had s rubbish night sleep with E, so went back to doctor this morning, she has an ear infection and is back on antibiotics :(
We've all been taking it easy today, she's been sleeping for a good 2 hours this afternoon.

Isabelmamma so sorry you had to find us here, you are very welcome at whatever stage of ttc or not yet ttc. I think I joined this group quite quickly after loosing DD2 Sterre last year in June, as it was a group of full of hope, people who had gone through similar situations, but looking forward to the future.

green will be thinking of you and your family when your DS goes for his operation! x

wtw hugs for you my love, it is so difficult the build up to a first birthday specially whilst pregnant! we're here to hold your hand all the way! x

Angel glad you were able to take a day off! poor Phebs! x I'm enjoying my sick leave as well, doing nothing all day, just relaxing and time to watch Wimbledon :)

angel thats good you had the day off, and sounds like you made the most of it!

green I don't test until/if AF is late, it gets soul destroying seeing all those bfn's. I hope you are ok?

wtw hugs.x

My spotting seems to be getting heavier so I guess my perios is just coming early.

Half my post got eaten!

Blizy.... Fingers crossed for you! Do you resist testing? ( I'm rubbish and poas way too early).

Whatever.... 10 months must feel like no time and forever. Things change so quickly. Thinking of you x

Hope all poorly little and big ones feel better soon. X

Blizy I was suppose to be working but spoke to my fab manager & took AL today. Been to the gym had a lovely swim etc... Nice lunch from Mossys , reading now before fat club. A lovely day ( I ll worry about using all my AL at a later date!!!!)
Whatever time goes so quickly doesn t it???? Many hugs & much love to u xxxx

Isabelmamma, I'm so sorry to hear about your little girl. My daughter, Merryn, died 9 weeks ago at 6 days old. I came onto this thread straight away, as thinking about being pregnant again, and hearing from ladies who had been through such huge loss themselves then gone on to have their rainbow babies was just what I needed. These ladies are wonderfully supportive and exceptionally brave, and they put up with my rants too! They let me know it was normal to think about ttc as soon as possible, and that's what we are doing. I will never stop missing Merryn, but I am desperate to have another baby. (i am 39). I think whatever feels right for you is ok. The early weeks are a nightmare, but it eases a little, even by ten weeks I don't feel as I did to begin with, although it's still very very painful.

My older DS is going for his op tommorow at 12. My DS is going to work that afternoon, so will not be at the hospital, which I think is for the best. He found it much harder than me yesterday, and I think if I'm on my own with DS I will be able to click more easily into 'mother who can cope with anything' mode. I'll probably be a wreck by the evening though! Thanks for all your well wishes everyone! I realise it's not anything like with Merryn, I'm just a bit off hospitals right now!

This time 10 months ago we woke up not knowing our lives would change forever in less than 12 hours. Can't believe we're in to double figures already. Feels weird to be counting down to Erin's 1st birthday and this little one's birth day. I miss her so much.

isabelmamma words can not express your loss or pain for the death of your little one. It is a tear out of your heart. My daughter Ophelia was stillborn at 36 weeks 14 months ago, we started ttc straight away it just felt right for us. We are still trting after two miscarriages this past year.
When you are ready we will be here to hold your hand through it.
Take care.

Isabelmama- I am so sorry to hear of your loss. 4 weeks is still very early, take things as they come at your own pace. We will be here waiting for you when you are ready.
My Zoe was still born at 41 weeks last feb, we started ttc 3 months after, but that was right for us. Take care if yourself. X

Oh no angel, are you working today? It's torture being do tired! Hope you are all ok.

I hate teething with a passion my gorgeous little girl has been replaced by a clingy, whinge bag.... So tired she didn t sleep to 12 last night then awake again at 02.15 it's killing us ....

Thanks whatevertheweather! I've visited the thread and looks like there's lots of lovely Angelmummies there that are really supportive.
Thanks AngelGeorgie and no worries...I am after all in the ttc thread :) I wish I'm in the same stage with you ladies in here. But it is still early for me to ttc & I cant feel like I can move forward until I get the result of Isabel's autopsy.
I know in time I will be where you lovely ladies are now.
Big hugs!

Didn t mean that to sound flippant Isabelsmum meant when you re ready ttc. Obviously , now you re still in the first stages of grief. Hope u ve got plenty of support & help( it's my sleep deprived brain) xxxx

Sorry to hear about your loss Isabel I ce found this thread to be the most supportive & helpful to help me through my grief & subsequent pregnancy. I lost my darling Georgie at 41 weeks gestation on 10/10/10. I ve since had my rainbow baby : Phoebe who's now 8 months old. I was 39 when I had Georgie & 40 when I had Phebs. Take care xxx
Oh , there's an " older birds" ttc thread on conception " fabulous forties ttc" ..
Take care xxxxx

So sorry to hear about your darling Isabel. If you want to start a thread to tell her story there is a bereavement section in Body and Soul topic. Or there is a long running thread in bereavement full of bereaved mummies entitled 'Love like starlight never dies'

Gentle hugs to you I remember the dark early days so well xx

Hi Ladies!
Hello to everyone! I'm just new here and still can't navigate the threads.
I just lost my precious baby girl Isabel 4 weeks ago. She was born sleeping at 39weeks gestation. I'm not yet ttc...but I really do hope I get to this point sometime this year. I'm also 40 years old.
I just want to get to a thread where I could share my story and get some helpful advise to get through my grief. Can anyone please point me to the appropriate thread or place here in mums net.
Good luck to all you mummies trying for rainbow babies!

blizy I have everything crossed for you. i so wish it is your month I'm sending out good vibes and positivness to the ether.

Ooh Blizy fx crossed for you xx

Poor E blue this is a nasty virus. K just in bath then has asked to go to bed. Dp been in bed all day he's feeling quite rotten too. Hope I don't get it only just got over the chest infection!

wtw I hope Katy, is feeling better soon.

elly Booo to AF, hope you are ok.

green Hope your ds is ok and you are holding it together today. Thinking of you both.x

I am feeling very confused today, I have started spotting and my af is not due until next friday. I don't want to get my hopes up with implatation bleeding and all, but it is very hard not too! I really am hoping and wishing with all my being that this it...........

wtw hope K feels better soon! give her a big hug from us! x
E is still not well either, she says her throatache has gone but now she's got earache. Still high temperature too. She went back for a rest this morning all by herself, can't get her to go to sleep this afternoon though.

Back from doctors with K. Seems she has a severe viral throat infection and her tonsils have swollen so much to try and fight it. 3 doctors came to look at them to umm and aah about whether to send us to hospital as they are so swollen but concluded that there's not much that can be done to bring them down as its viral and sent us home with instructions to go straight in if they swell any more or if she's having trouble breathing. So I'm on tonsil watch for the rest of the day!! Poor baby

Mias that is so lovely. I hate the fear that's come with losing Erin. I was always quite relaxed in my parenting style with K but now I find myself thinking 'what if' a lot of the time. It's such early days for all of us though and I think it's to be expected. What pisses me off is when people who have no clue what it is to lose a child try and tell us how we should be or dismiss our fears as paranoia or tell us to think positive.

Sorry Phebs still not too good angel it is tiring isn't it xx

Hope they will consider fixing ds's hand under local green. Presumably if they do you can stay with him which would be better. Hope he's not in too much pain xx

Oh , posted too early....
Green sorry about your DS ... He will be fine. However, again what you re feeling is perfectly normal , as others have said what happened to Merryn is rare but you just have to acknowledge that & ( unfortunately) work through it when your son's in hospital. Love to u all xxx
Hi all; totally knackered here Phebs awake from 2-5 am , teething I hate it ... Trying to muster up the engery to go swimming now... I hope this ends ( for now) soon as my darling angel has been replaced by a whingy cry bag!!!! Can t contemplate work tomorrow , so hope she sleeps tonight. Xxx

Elly sorry about your AF xxx you re not a failure just had the worst imaginable thing ever happen to you... It will get better , I would never have believed anyone had they said that to me... But it does, the whole grief /pain becomes manageable. You start to enjoy life again, look foreward ... It takes time yes, a cliche I know but it is true... Take care xxx

Thanks for all the thoughts for my boy... He is perky this morming after being very sick during the night, but his bandages have soaked through again. We are waiting for a call in from the plastic surgery dept at the hospital today, but they might have a full book, and wait until Monday. My dp wants to talk to them about using a local rather than general, (they said they would on an older child), but we'll wait and see what they advise and how DS is about it. He's the type to find it all quite interesting.....

MIA'SMUMMY, what you have written is true and lovely, but I feel like I have had the protective layer ripped from my vision, and it needs to grow back a bit, although I will never forget what I've 'seen', things will hopefully not be as sharp in time.... I completely agree about the positive view a child can bring though...... Merryn has brought into focus for me the love in our family and the friends we share, and a new baby would bring so much more love again.

Elly... Sorry this isn't the month for you... Its crap. I am coming into BDing week.... Not feeling that keen as I speak, but will muster some romance for this evening, all being well! I'm trying not to turn SWI into something that's just to do with baby making, but it's a bit overwhelming right now.

for green and ellypoo, I'd like to share something lovely which was written on my own Mia thread about dealing with fear, and I hope it might help you both. No, your loss can't protect you from further pain in the future. But you are no more likely than anyone else to suffer new pain. Maybe one day you will lose the pain and just be left with your wonderful memories. People say that this is what eventually happens with grief. You have said that Mia taught you so much about love - I suspect that a little brother or sister will be able to teach you just as much about hope. This strengthened me a lot. Yes, we were all incredibly unlucky... but that doesn't mean life will be that way going forward. I cling to this thought. xx