Rainbow Babies - hoping and trying for rainbows, loving and remembering our Angels xxx

Aaah fan you are being very strong not testing tonight when you have sticks there! I've only just got home from an all day work meeting in Guildford so haven't managed to drop the turf to the cemetery - is it ok to do it in the morning before 10am?

Green glad you're mum is being okay. It must be hard showing Merryn's photo for the first time. Glad dp remembered it was 3 months xx

Elly the first Xmas we lost Georgie , 18 months ago we didn t celebrate at all. No decorations, presents, cards etc... We had egg & chips for lunch & went to Georgie's special place to lay some flowers & that was it ... I remember feeling some sense of relief on boxing day as it was over. Understandable not to want to celebrate : u have to do whatever gets u through.. Xxx
Fan xxxxx go girl xxxx you & Blizy so deserve BFPs xxxxc much finger crossing here... Xxx
Love to all; tired; busy at work with bugger lazy shitty consultants pissing off on " time owing" from where??? When I ve got a full list + 5 extras ... Rant over: same old!!! Xxxxxx

Hi everyone, just a quick hello on my phone from Wales.... Wet and a bit yucky here, but mums being fine, which is a relief. She has seen a photo of Merryn for the first time today. That was hard. (too much time has passed to be doing this for the first time).
Having the heaviest AF ever though. They are just terrible since Merryns birth, I hope they settle soon ( although, clearly I'd rather they bugger off for 9 months or so)!

Can't check all posts on bloody phone, but FAN my thoughts are with you, every good luck vibe being sent to you my lovely!

Merryns been gone for 3 months today. Even dp hasn't noticed the date, which I guess is a good thing. I seem to be hugging my grief close at the moment, and the concept that I could actually get to hold another baby one day feels like fantasy, I'm not sure I believe in it right now. The monthly cycle is pure agony to wait through. I want to stop trying, but I can't give up. I feel so strongly I should have another baby. Bit confused right now. It will feel like another loss if we never have another, if you see what I mean. Hmmmm.

Aaaaaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! That's how I feel at the moment.

I've just popped into boots and bought some cheap tests, I shall use one tomorrow and then I won't waste a clear blue on this incase its negetive.

Wtw, I had steroid injections before my CS. It's all gone a bit blurry, but it was 2 injections on different days. Gosh, it's weird how little I remember clearly! Think sheer panic was kicking in at the time.

Maia's doing very well - 18 weeks old, now! She's generally a happy chirpy baby and is, of course, totally adorable in every way. She's currently on my knee feeding herself to sleep.

Hello to Little and Mecha. So sorry to hear about Daisy and Dexter. My baby Thea was stillborn at 41+3 on 13 March 2011 and I now have another little girl, Maia, born on 9 March 2012. I hope you both conceive again quickly and the gallbladder op goes well, Mecha.

I've already emailed my brother a shopping list of things I would like to eat when we're over in 2 weeks we won't be able to take much back with us as we are travelling hand luggage only :(
Will be back later, need to dash out to meet my new line manager (sounds posher than it is )
x

Oh fan it must be so scary ((hugs)) you test when you feel ready xx

Not surprised Little ... I used to live in York & tourists were everywhere... Did my head in!!! Everyone ( at work) raved about Lincoln market so we went for my bday last year (1 st dec) luckily Phebs stayed at the hotel , as was only 6 weeks old, while we alternated with my folks at the market. It was stupidly crowded , stall holders were saying it was extra crowded due to being cancelled the year before!!! Every 3 rd stall was the same , couldn t get a drink anywhere!! Wouldn t bother going again though hotel was nice & had a lovely meal at Gabbys , Greek restaurant.. Do u know it? Mmm.... Hungry ...
Another night of disruption ... Phebs cough ++ now fast asleep when needs to be up for nusery!!! any dying of man flu!!! Men are so pathetic ???!!!

I'm too scared to test, what if I have another miscarriage!
I think I'm going to put it off till tomorrow

Hello all. Fx for fan and blizy, thinking positive thoughts for u both.

Great to see u talking about due dates. Gives me hope that I may get there one day. Just wish the next month would hurry up so we start ttc again (i'm not very patient when it comes to these things!).

Went in to see my boss today for first time since losing Daisy. After I'd stopped blubbing on him, we had a really good chat. Going back to work on Mon, but gonna play it by ear as to whether I do full days or reduced hours. Will see how I get on.

Good luck for scans. Excited for due dates, etc. :o

Angel - I live in Lincoln so have to face the annoyance of the Xmas market each year! Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bah humbug or anything but very niggly having your normal routes disrupted and local watering spots overrun with people. It's the same every year, so we don't go anymore. Being only 5 foot tall, I especially don't get to see any stalls, ha! It's not so busy on the Thursday, though.

Got agility competition this weekend. I'm just aiming for a clear round from both of the doggies, especially Boomer (the younger one) as he hasn't had one yet. Well actually he has once, but I managed to knock a pole off with my heal so we got 5 faults. Naughty handler! If not, will just try to enjoy myself. Will be good to see my fellow dog botherers, anyway.

Night all. Sleep tight. Xx

Mia yes the waffles & chocolates are fab oh & the beer .we found a bar that sells 400 different types of beer & my dad still asked for a Stella!!!! .The hot chocolate with liquers are lethal!!!!
Good luck with your scan I remember just how nerve racking the scans are xxxx
Blizy thanks... I ve no will power just think when I m out or away " sod it" I ll have what I want then try to be good the rest of the time!!! Mmm... Yes, would be lovely to show Phebs off ... Xxx
Blue Belguim certainly do much nicer & less crowded Xmas markets than we do... Went to Lincoln last year : nightmare... So busy we couldn t get to any of the stalls... B ham is the same also... Forgot you re the expert on Belguim!!! Xxx
Whatever I had 2 steroid injection 4 & 2 days before my section .i had Phebs at 37,3 weeks and my consultant offered it as a matter of precaution although at 37 weeks you re full term & technically the risk is somewhat reduced however there wasn t anything I was leaving to chance!!! Injections were fine I had them at ante-natal when I went in for tracing anyhow so no hard ship. I' d certainly enquire/ push for them..
Mia 39 weeks certainly seems very late ... I originally wanted a section at 37 weeks my consultant wanted 38 weeks so we compromised on 37,3 weeks!!!! I wouldn't / couldn t have waited any longer!!!
Xxxxx

Oh I'd love to go to a proper Christmas Market. I love the german style ones we have here - I always go to one in the grounds of Winchester Cathedral but it would be even better to go properly! Hope the stallholder is there angel

Mias when is your scan? Totally understand the nerves - I was a wreck before mine this time but all will be well. I am having my c-sec at 37 weeks. In the consultants words 'you will have done enough by then'. I'm so relieved as it is only 10 days before Erin's first birthday so if they'd made me wait much longer I could potentially have still been in hospital on 25/08 which I would have found impossibly hard. It's interesting as she said at 36+6 they have to put together a full clinical case for elcs but at the magic 37 weeks it is accepted on consultant recommendation.

fan and blizy FX as well as toes here, for you both!!

angel I love Bruges... and I especially love the Belgian waffles and their moules and frites - might be why I put on so much weight when I was there for a year However, given your success at weight loss, I'm sure you have a stronger will than I do.

whatever a date, a date!! So how many weeks will you be then? Just interested by your last comments, as I have been told that they would do planned c-sections at my hospital at 39 weeks, and they haven't mentioned any earlier, so just curious.

Getting nervous about this scan - conscious that it is actually an 'anomaly scan'. I don't think we will find out the sex. We didn't with Mia, but we did ask for the sonographer to write the sex on a piece of paper and put it into a sealed envelope, in case we changed our minds... I opened it once Mia was born, and it was correct! I am a little tempted to know, but at the same time, I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret, and somehow, it will feel that this baby is public property if everyone knows, and starts on with names and buying stuff... not sure that makes sense. Baby did give me a series of huge kicks late last night, and DH had his first proper feel of the baby moving.

Oh forgot to ask - those who have had planned sections between 37 and 38 weeks - were you given steroid injections to help mature lungs? My consultant said today there was no need but have had a look around and guidelines seem to be that you should have them up to 38 weeks if c-sec as higher chance of respiratory distress compared to vaginal birth.

Angel- that would be wishful thinking! Yes it is still high, first high on cd 15 (I normally ov on cd17), I haven't peaked so I'm assuming no ov this month. Gah, it's all so bloody confusing!

It would be lovely if the stall holder is there.

angel yes Belgium does like their Xmas markets and decorations

fan Fx for you!

Fan fx xxx I am well travelled though not as well travelled as I' d like!!!!!
Whatever Bruges is fab we ve only been at Xmas time & the market & square is gorgeous really xmassy ... We ve got to inow some of the store holders & they asked about Georgie ( last time we went was my 40 th, 6 weeks after Georgie was born) so really hoping this certain lady is still there to meet Phebs. Love it... Only way to function to have lots of trips away to break up the monotony of work!!! 4 weeks my god that'll fly by!!! Good scan
Blizy is your reading still high as may be pg???? or guess it would be too early ( slack cow!!! Me not u!!!)
Love to all xxxx

Ooh fan bloomin sainsburys! So so hope its a bfp for you xx

angel you well travelled lady you!

Well I have had some cramping today and some of it very sharp, but still no AF. Its CD32 or CD30 today so should really be due today if this past years AF is anything to go by, before my cycle were 34 days. but I have gone 45 days before. I went into Sainsburys on the way home and thought I will buy some more tests some first response ones, but they didnt have any, so taking that as a sign to not test today. I will see how I feel in the morning as to wether I do or not.

wtw sounds like a good weight, at least now you have a date to work towards.

Whatever yay to c sec date!

Mia's- wow that sounds very exciting but exhausting!

Fan - I have everything crossed for you.

Mecha- I'm glad you have a date for surgery, it is something to focus on.

Angel- lucky thing with our two hols this year. Well done with the weight loss, that is fab.
I am on cd 20 and still only getting high readings on my cbfm, I don't know if I have ov this month. I did have Ewcm around the right time and I have broken out in loads of spots. I am hoping I have.

Hope you are all ok. X

Ooh what date is your scan Mias? Russian rowing team - that sounds exciting!

Fx fan you're doing so well to hold off testing xx

Bruges sounds lovely angel I've never been but would like to. Poor Phebs this damp weather is a menace - although it's lovely here today so maybe the rain is on it's way out?!

All looking well at scan still. Estimated to be 4lbs 10ozs now. C-sec booked for 15th August - eek. 4 weeks tomorrow! Consultant is going to scan me next Wednesday which will be 11 months to the day we lost Erin. I'm glad to be having a scan with her though as I know she'll look really thoroughly whereas the normal sonographers just seem to take measurements. Every single time I've been I've had to explain why I'm there which is frustrating. Especially as the sonographer I had today has scanned me 3 times previously!

Mia good luck for your scan... Xxx don t work too hard volunteering... Rather u than me!!! I just wouldn t have the time !!! xxx
Mech good news on your op date. I used to work on a surgical ward looking after pts who had cholecystectomies if key hole they were normally in & out within a couple of days... As u say be positive & use this time to mentally & physically prepare yourself. That's how I viewed my time between Georgie & Phebs as to endure 2 pregnancies in 2 years is an ordeal for our bodies... Xxx
whatever good luck today. I loved having my c sec date it gave me an end , if that makes sense...not long ... How exciting? Having the due date alievated all the stress at the end for me as I knew on the 18 th Oct Phebs would be here ...no waiting around, dragging it out... Xxx
Hi all; night from hell last night!!! Phebs full of cough, cold again from nursery slept about 4 hours last night. Luckily day off today so just chilling...
Got my 1.5 stone award last night at SW (lost 21.5lbs in total) now so happy ... Wanted that by Euro-Disney in 2 weeks then another half stone for Ibiza at end of Sept...
Work busy lots of stuff happening.. Weekend Ant tried to arrange his micro-light flight AGAIN !!! Cancelled at too windy !!! Can see this never happening!!! My SW consultant been trying to arrange a hot air balloon 6x has been postponed!!!
Oh & managed to book another little trip our regular min cruise to Bruges for my bday in dec... Not been since just after Georgie so will be fab to take Phebs xxxc
Love to all xxx

more scans this week :) looking forward to some good news! Mias are you finding out what you're having?

fan thinking of you lots! I so hope it's your month! Have you got some Early Response tests? I tested with those this time before AF was due...
Take it easy at work and keep away from the chemicals! :)

No news from my sister yet...