Rainbow Babies - hoping and trying for rainbows, loving and remembering our Angels xxx

WTW thinking about you. I know you must be scared, and I am really sorry you are ill and have to be in hospital. Glad your consultant is coming round, I hope they can offer you reassurance and you get well soon!

Thinking of you too August

Blizy and fan I am sorry you are not getting the ideal support from your OH at the moment. That is really not fair :(

Fan what a tour stage! DH was laughing at me, I was on the edge of the seat and squeaking! I do find Wiggo a bit arrogant and annoying, but well chuffed to have a british champion. I love Cav though, he is just amazing.

Hello Kleinpoppet, I am sorry to hear about E. My son Dexter was born in April this year at 24+2 weeks. He caught pneumonia and was just too premature to fight it off, but we did have 12 wonderful days with him. I haven't been on the rainbow thread very long, but the ladies here are so welcoming, kind and understanding. The bereaved parent's thread is also really supportative and has gotten me through some long nights.

Having a sad day today. No good reason to really. I just miss him and feel like everything is on pause until I get this stupid gallbladder out. Need to give myself a good shake.

whatever thinking of you, my lovely. Glad you are somewhere where you are being looked after. Maybe baby has decided to be fussy about her food even before she arrives?! xx

august also thinking of you.

wtw I'm glad your in the right place and I hope the sickness passes soon.

august hope all is well and your snuggled with your little boy.

I'm back at work (don't want to be) enjoying the sun.

Oh, and hi, Kleinepoppet, welcome! So sorry to hear about E.

Thinking of August...

Wtw, that sounds v scary, and horrible to cope with. Get them to keep putting the ctg on you - you need the reassurance! Hope your consultant can help.

Not for a while yet I don't think. Still got high temp and vomiting every time I have a sip of water. Have had 1000mls of iv fluids and 2 lots of iv antibiotics. Luckily my cons is doing the rounds this morning so am waiting to see her. Feeling pretty lousy atm.

blizy good for you! Did you enjoy it?

wtw here for hand holding if you need it. How scary for you. Have they said when you'll be sent home?

Oh fan- I went I batman alone!

Wtw- oh, how scary for you! I'm glad the little one is doing ok. Hope you are better soon. X

August- thinking of you, hope you are snuggling your baby boy. X

Poppet- I'm so sorry to hear about you beautiful baby girl. My dd Zoe was stillborn at 41 weeks 17 months ago, we have been ttc since May 2011 with no success. The ladies here are fantastic for support and hand holding when you need it. I hope your ttc journey is a short one.

Whatever xxxx seems to happen!!! remember I was in & out of hospital virtually the whole week before I had Phebs... It's scarey but you re nearly there xxxxx

Hi ladies just a quick one - I was admitted to hospital yesterday afternoon as I started vomiting very badly and had a temp of 39.4. Been in overnight on iv fluids and antibiotics. They've no idea at the moment what's causing it but they can't get my temp down. Thankfully i've had 2 good ctg.'s and baby seems unaffected at the moment. Pretty f'ing scary though - was all too much deja vu of Erin

Been thinking of you august hope induction going smoothly x

Welcome Poppet sorry xxxx my first DD was stillborn at 41 weeks on 10/10/10 :Georgie. I had 2 MCs before Georgie . I ve since had my rainbow baby ; my true angel; Phoebe on 18/10/11. We can offer you fab support here as unfortunately every one of us can relate to you... Pls take all the support in RL you can my hubby, family & friends helped me such a lot especially in the early dark, dark days.... It stinks ... Life really is shit sometimes you will get through
Though it doesn t seem it... I remember someone telling me " time is a great healer" what a load of crap I thought but it's true . I still miss my Georgie every day & grieve for what she should have had, been doing etc... I ve just learnt to live again taking Georgie with me .. Take care xxxxx
Blizy yes, men are selfish twats ... I ve been dying all day ( head cold etc... Achy ) but all Ant's concerned about is Phebs... I feel like I ve ceased to exsist in this house anymore... Make him pay !!! xxx hope u get some sleep & feel a little better soon xxx

You are very welcome poppet, but sorry also that you find your way here. E sounds like a very special girl, you are very lucky to be her Mum.
My daughter Ophelia was stillborn 15 months ago at 36 weeks due to a knot in her cord. I was in labour but didn't know it was becuase she had died already. I have also suffered two early miscarriages in the past year.
We are hear to listen, hold hands and support us all through our ttc, rainbow pregnancy or after the birth of our rainbows.

Kleinepoppet So sorry you have to join us here after losing your precious little girl!
From your nickname I gather you're Dutch speaking I'm Belgian but live in England with DH and DD1.
We lost DD2 Sterre last year at 20 weeks pregnant, I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant with DD3 (or possibly DS1 )

You'll find a lot of hands to hold here and lots of lovely ladies who know exactly what you've been through! x

Hello ladies, I've read some of this thread and you all seem very lovely, so here's my first message to say hi...

Our gorgeous firstborn daughter E was born six weeks ago at 42 weeks, and died two days later. (I won't give her name for now as it's unusual, and would make all my posts instantly google-able!) I was in hospital being induced when I had a huge placental abruption, and our little girl was deprived of oxygen for too long despite an EMCS just 15 mins after I started haemorrhaging. Her brain damage was almost total, but she gave us two amazing days before dying in my arms. She was 7lb, so perfect, so incredibly beautiful.

Things are just starting to sink in now, so we feel pretty bloody awful. DH is also trying to deal with the trauma of those first few hours - if I'd not been in hospital, I could have died too. As it was, I was fine (although had to go back in to hospital ten days ago for another procedure) but he is still so worried, of course. Although we know it won't be this bad forever, it's feeling pretty bleak for us right now. She was our miracle baby, conceived naturally the same month we actually started IVF... she was SO wanted, and so loved. We are utterly devastated for her, our little one who was always so unbelievably strong and active in my tummy, that she never had a chance.

I'm so sorry that you all know and understand how we feel. You all sound just wonderful, and your angels really, really missed out on an amazing time with you. It's so sad.

We will hop back on the TTC wagon when we can, and when we feel ready. Probably in a few months' time, but this time around I recognise that I'm going to need support from people who just get it. My friends in RL are amazing, but none of them have ever had to do this. It might be a very, very long journey and we have no idea how it will end. We are desperate to have another baby - even while E was still alive, fighting away and cuddled up with us, DH and I realised how much she was going to need a brother or sister, and how much we were going to need him or her, too.

Sorry for the essay... I'm a fast typer! Thank you for reading and I hope you won't mind if I join your group x

blizy go with out him!

Fan- I called him more than a twat! I just don't get it, I think he was selfish, he thinks I was selfish for spoiling his fun!
He is an arse, spent the day moping around hungover. We have tickets book for batman at 7 pm, needless to say we are not going.

blizy so sorry your DH is being (sorry no other word for it a Twat!) men sometimes just have no clue, mine would do the same and has done. And doesnt see what the problem is. always now though tell him exactly how I feel about it all. and tell him hes a twat!

Ah fan, I hate those situations, but like you I can never deny Zoe.

Yesterday was not good, i spent the day crying. I didn't go to the BBQ but Dh did, he left me sobbing on the couch. oh and he didn't come home until 8am this morning! I am so angry, but he doesn't think he did anything wrong. If he was in the same state as I was, I would have cancelled my plans to be with him. Obviously he thinks getting drunk is more important than me.

To top it off I didn't sleep at all last night, I am so angry, upset and tired.

Mecha how was that then? Amazing final day, its so great to see Wiggo lead out Cav, thats how to win the tour! Im so glad Hagan (my fav) also held Sagan off.

How is everyone today? Enjoying the sun down here, the kittens are in the window zonked out, DH is just about to start cooking dinner.

We both got a bit upset last night, we were at a house warming party and everyone else had got a bit drunk (I dont drink) and a girl there we had never met before we were talking a joking around and then rather loudly she askes if I have had kids? I said yes but the whole room went quiet, then the subject was quickly changed, someone wispered in her ear to not talk about that, and well it was so hard. I love talking about Fi but that threw me a bit, I couldnt say no I have had a baby, but it wasnt the time or place to explain. And also she was drunk, we didnt want to put a downer on the party.

Lots of thoughts to blizy and fan. Soon for you both, I am sure. And for all the ttc ladies.

I miss Dexter more than anything. But we always wanted a sibling for him, like Angel said. We are just trying ttc a bit sooner than we had planned. I want Dex back, more than anything. But that is just not possible, however much I want it. Hopefully a little brother or sister for him is something I can have. Time will tell, but I certainly don't assume I will be so lucky.

The Tickets are for Seether, a south African rock band I really like. This will be the third time we have seen them, the last time was in March while I was pregnant. We wanted our little one to have had loads of interesting experiences before they were born, dumb as that sounds. I even passed my driving test when I was 15 weeks!

Thinking about us all. xx

((big hugs)) for all the ttc ladies and for all the others too x

Had a tough day with E not being well, woke up at 5am complaining of headache, temperature. She bumped her head last night, but we didn't think much of it, certainly wouldn't cause temperature. First NHS direct nurse told us dehydration... we then tried to make her drink and she threw up all over the sofa :( Second nurse that I phoned with after the vomiting advised to take her to A&E... which we haven't done... they would have just kept her in for hours to do observations. Will keep checking on her during the night, hopefully she feels better in the morning.

Having a sneaky Belgian cherry beer tonight to recover

My sister phoned earlier, but it wasn't to announce the birth but to ask a question about sterilising bottles... She is due Monday and if baby hasn't appeared by then, she will most likely be induced as doctors won't let her go overdue too long.

(((Fan and Blizy))) you ladies are so wonderful. All of your children are and will be lucky to have such loving mummies who have been through so much. Life is just unfair making you wait so long xxxx

Blizy all your thought are totally normal you are not betraying Zoe or tainting her memory by ttc... Who knows had Zoe been here as she should wheter you wouldn t have been ttc again anyhow??? Zoe is safe in the knowledge you love her & always will... Though I m not religious I do believe/hope one day when I go to the sky I ll meet & be with my Georgie. She ll wait for me. This helps me a little ...life is for living but taking Zoe with you xxxxxxxx

blizy I'm not sure if this will help you but one of my old friends told me this 'that we never know what heartache these people have suffered to get to the point of being pregnant' my friend had suffered two late miscarriages and now has a beautiful 3 month old boy. It has helped me a little bit. Hugs to you, I hope DH is with you tonight.