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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Some company, please. I'm a bit freaked out.

57 replies

ImprobableNotImpossible · 05/06/2012 14:03

Hello,

I haven't posted for a really really long time and I've name-changed (I think) because I really don't want to go at all public yet. So, if you recognise me from previous posts or (much worse) real life, please please don't out me.

So, in a nutshell, I have been unsucessfully TTC for over five years. I had one early MC ages ago and one cycle of IVF with a really poor response. Over a year ago we were told that I probably had premature ovarian failure, that there was no point in more IVF and that I would almost certainly go through menopause in the next couple of years. I was a very difficult time, obviously, but we were always realistic and coped pretty well. We grieved for a bit then picked ourselves up and got on with accepting and adjusting.

So, fast-forward to now and with several people close to us for the second time and with my periods showing no signs of stopping, we started to wonder if we'd given up to soon and I started tracking my cycles a bit again and we started a bit of low-key trying (we'd never actually stopped, of course, but we started paying attention to timing). I'm now on day 27, 13 DPO, and I tested yesterday and there was a faint, but visible line. Twice.
I've tested again today and there is a still faint, but more distinct pink line.

Ummm, so, I'm pregnant, aren't I?

We (husband and I) are a bit freaked out and have no idea what to do with ourselves. We can't tell anyone real and we can't actually believe it, but I am, aren't I?

I just really need some company until I'm more sure and less overwhelmed, but please no baby-dust or hugs or any of that stuff, I hate all that.

Thanks.

OP posts:
fanjodisfunction · 07/06/2012 18:44

thats good news OP Im glad. have you thought about when your going to tell your doctor?

farfallarocks · 07/06/2012 11:16

Just to tell you another good news story, DH's aunt conceived narturally after 10 years and 3 rounds of IVF (the month afterher last failed cycle) and then again 7 years later at 44, she thought it was the menopause and it was her DS!

LaMeuf · 07/06/2012 09:49

I have everything crossed for you. I know 2 women who had babies naturally after long term infertility (9 years plus). Actually quite a few of my friends were late babies whose mothers had tried for 10 plus years after they were born, in the days before IVF was widely available.

Spotting can be totally normal in pregnancy. I spotted with all 3 of my successful pregnancies but not at all when I miscarried. With my second baby, conceived after a secondary infertility diagnosis, I spotted constantly from 3.5 to 6.5 weeks. HCG testing, then an early scan, kept me sane, well sane-ish anyway.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Just take one day at a time.

farfallarocks · 07/06/2012 09:37

Oh I am keeping everything crossed for you, what a story, you really have been through the mill.
I had a bit of spotting with this pregnancy for about 5 days, I thought it was all over but am now 19 weeks. I know how brutal those first few weeks are, I had to break down the time in to 3 week chunks and have scans every 3 weeks just to keep me sane. I also had some beta HCG levels taken 48 hours apart to check they were going up which helped me get through that weekl of spotting. Try and do as little as possible, rest and look after yourself. Good luck!

blackcatsdancing · 07/06/2012 08:28

great news. Spotting and bleeding are so worrying but i'll add a friend's story- perfect first pregnancy but with second (which she struggled to conceive) she spotted and bled throughout only to deliver a healthy full term baby. There was never a reason found. Spotting around the time a period would be due is very common and can happen fairly frequently even on the second missed period. Fingers crossed for you.

hellokittydrivesmenuts · 07/06/2012 08:20

yes you are and you are going to enjoy every moment :-)
very very very happy for you! Rest when you can xx

Original poster
ImprobableNotImpossible · 07/06/2012 07:59

That's a lovely story, thank you. Actually, all our consultants have been very frank and honest and I couldn't fault them, we are both medical, so perhaps that makes a difference. The consultant at the early menopause clinic told us, quite casually, that about 10% of women get pregnant after diagnosis of POF!

Anyway, determined to be more positive today. Quicker, clearer line on today's test and no more spotting so far.

Today I am pregnant...

OP posts:
hellokittydrivesmenuts · 06/06/2012 22:29

DEf not impossible !!!!
I tried for just 3 years referred to barts, a hostile environment is what was concluded- prob wont hold any pregnancy!!!
1 month after such news i found out pregnant- 9 months of heavy bleeding and clots and numerous consultants adv me to prepare for the worst i was blessed with a gorgeous 5lb 4oz baby girl :-) She is 41/2 now and i count my blessings everytime i wake with her and put her to bed!
So Improbablenotimpossible meet your virtual twin who survived the agony and realises consultants can say whats medically correct but if you just dont fit the bracket.................Get pregnant! Congrats- feet up so oxygen to uterus and try not go to toilet every 2 mins to see if your still spotting ! xxx

seabuckthorn · 06/06/2012 20:22

I spotted in all my pregnancies, is this about the time you would normally be due on? Could be breakthrough bleeding.
Worrying is completely normal, I'll hold your hand, really touched by your story, fingers and toes crossed!

Original poster
ImprobableNotImpossible · 06/06/2012 20:15

You're all being so kind with your lovely hand-holding, thank you.

I'm not feeling to cheerful tonight, I had an ok day, but I've had a bit of spotting tonight. I know that doesn't really mean anything either way, but I don't feel to optimistic tonight.

Thanks for all the positive thoughts and kindness, though.

OP posts:
Weirdypants · 06/06/2012 08:10

God I haven't posted on here in ages but your situation has really touched me - I'm rooting for you.

fanjodisfunction · 06/06/2012 08:05

So if today is CD28 then you are still very early pregnant, so that might be why its still faint, but I have heard that the faintness of the line means nothing. But remember you are still pregnant.

Take it easy

Original poster
ImprobableNotImpossible · 06/06/2012 07:26

Thanks again for the positive messages.

I went last night and told my mum, but not my sister. Mum was delighted, but realistically restrained in her excitement. In a sensible mum way she told me not to test again for 48 hours. Advice which I naturally ignored.

So, this morning's update: no period. Boobs heavy and nipples sort of stinging. My 1 permitted cup of coffee tasted bitter and horrible. But the test was exactly the same - faint, but distinct line at about 4 minutes.

I was really just hoping for a nice clear positive this morning.

I just can't shake the feeling that it's not real and it's all going to be gone suddenly. It just feels so very fragile.

Anyway, off to work now to think about something else for 8 hours - you wouldn't know it from the neurotic mess I am here, but I'm kind of senior and responsible in RL!

OP posts:
Christelle2207 · 05/06/2012 18:34

Pls be positive this is great news. I just posted elswhere about my cousin had a baby yesterday after TTC for 5 years plus, they knew they would struggle as he had testicular cancer a decade ago and they are both now in their 40s, they had failed IVF twice and at the point of giving up they conceived naturally and their ds was born healthy yesterday. so it does happen. Bet of luck to you and look after yourself x

I would not tell anyone except for dp.

blackcatsdancing · 05/06/2012 15:34

ah more difficult. I'd probably go along and see how it went before saying anything. As the mum of a 19 yr old DD i'd want to know and though it would be upsetting for your Mum if you did MC we are made of strong stuff , so I wouldn't worry about burdening her unless you know she already is swamped with serious problems. Mums are there to share the load.
And try to stop the MC talk! You're pregnant, take each day as it comes. There's always a risk but please try to focus on positive thoughts even if you feel it would be better to prepare yourself for the worst- it won't be. I know its impossible to banish those thoughts completely but try to minimise them as much as you possibly can.

fanjodisfunction · 05/06/2012 15:25

I guess you either fake sickness or go along and see if the evening with your sister and mum will help you make up your mind whether to tell them or not. Im sure it will help you along to be in the same spot as your sister.

Original poster
ImprobableNotImpossible · 05/06/2012 15:23

I should have said, it's my mum's birthday, so it would have to be quite a good excuse and I saw my sister on Saturday and was fine and normal.

We are very close and I can't at all decide if I want to tell her everything or not. It would be awful for both of us if I miscarry, but I can't imagine going through it without her, so I will be telling her at some point.

I am so confused.

OP posts:
fanjodisfunction · 05/06/2012 15:12

ok so you still have a day or two to go untill you will beleive it.

I would stay at home with your feet up, your family can wait, and they will understand later.

blackcatsdancing · 05/06/2012 15:11

well don't go then. don't make life harder on yourself. come up with some excuse until you are ready to tell those close to you- unless you feel telling them would help?

fanjodisfunction · 05/06/2012 15:10

on our Angel mums thread we have a mantra 'today I am pregnant' so take one day at a time. It is hard not to think of the future in good or bad light but you just have take every day as it comes.

Original poster
ImprobableNotImpossible · 05/06/2012 15:09

Sorry, it's day 27 today.

OP posts:
Original poster
ImprobableNotImpossible · 05/06/2012 15:09

My normal cycle is 24-26 days, so I am late for me, but then I do occasionally have 'normal' 28 day cycles.

I'm pretty sure I ovulated on day 14 this month.

I'm supposed to be going over to my sister's tonight to see her and my mum, but my sister is pregnant (second time, concieved ridiculously easily) and I'm not sure I can hold it together...

OP posts:
blackcatsdancing · 05/06/2012 15:08

i can't imagine relaxing being that easy though!! try to enjoy it at least.

blackcatsdancing · 05/06/2012 15:07

yes i understand, complete disbelief due to your history. I hope very much its a sticky one . For now you are pregnant so just try to relax and take care of yourself.

fanjodisfunction · 05/06/2012 15:04

very understandable. With two early MC behind me I always say to my self next time I will wait for a least a week till I test, but I never do.

How many days untill AF is due?