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Original poster

The BESH Republic Of Rulvakia

987 replies

queenrollo · 15/05/2012 10:41

Welcome to The BESH Republic Of Rulvakia. The national drink is of course gin, state funded to get you into a state. We have many traditions and customs, such as sechsing, swearing for the fun of it (optional) and urinating on little white sticks.
Enemy of the state is Droid, who must be heckled heartily should it put in an appearance. There is an ongoing lottery to win a baybee, being granted citizenship of The Republic is your ticket to the lottery.

As a democracy all members are entitled to put forward any customs or rules they would like and we can all adopt important but silly titles if we like. See the George Carlin sketch about hats and religion and make your own mind up about whether you would like a ceremonial hat to accompany whichever title/role you bestow upon yourself.

Newcomers should find and complete the BESHtionnaire so we can make sure you are cynical and non-fluffy enough to be granted Citizenship.

OP posts:
sinkingflameofhilarity · 15/05/2012 21:36

Ooh. In favour. Am blessed with an ample bootie, so much love for Beyonce style shanking.

Can I divert from rulvakian fun? It's my wedding anniversary today. GHJ has just given me a luffley bracelet and taken me for a posh meal. At the end he told me a mutual friend is "pretty far gone pregnant". He found out months ago. He didn't tell me then because I was "a bit moody". So he told me during our anniversary meal. Right. And is now stropping because I went a bit quite and wanted to come home rather than go for another drink.

Boys. Clueless feckers.

CaveMum · 15/05/2012 21:10

[shakes booty Beyonce-stylee in discreet celebration]

I propose the Beyonce Boothy-Shake be adopted as the national dance of Rulvakia. All those in favour?

Northey · 15/05/2012 20:58

No don't! You'll jinx it!

I am too nervous it will fall through. I'll let you know when we can partay.

ShredniVashtar · 15/05/2012 20:53

Yay! That's great Northey, we'll get excited for you even if you can't say in rl yet!

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 15/05/2012 20:48

Eeeeeeeeeeekkk! Grin

Northey · 15/05/2012 20:42

Subject to security clearance and references, it's mine! but I am so anxious about last minute hitches, i haven't felt able to get excited and tell people yet

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 15/05/2012 20:23

Any news on that?

Northey · 15/05/2012 20:19

My feet are still blistered from last week's interview shoes. Ouchy ouchy.

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 15/05/2012 19:54

norf your hat looks awesome. Here, have a feather to stick in it!
lems sounds like the interview was positive then? I too have interview shoes. They kill me feet but they look good with my trouser suit, kitten heels so not too ott but not as Amy Farrah Fowler as flats!

ShredniVashtar · 15/05/2012 19:51

Oooh, new Fred! I hereby proclaim myself Lord Lieutenant for Defence of the Realm Against the Evil Droid. My ceremonial hat is fashioned from ostrich feathers and codeine. Mmmm, lovely codeine....

Northey · 15/05/2012 19:31
lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 15/05/2012 17:29

My fellow Rulvakians! Welcome to our humble abode aboard the internet. I would like to proclaim myself the title of President of Painful Feet (I wore heels for my interview which went really well, but now my feet are very cross with me). I might adjust the title to suit purposes but for now I am wearing my pretty shoes as a hat.

And I love Ambassa Dor. I'll plonk myself down with laura's lovely drinks, ta!

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 15/05/2012 16:19

Certainly

FriendofDorothy · 15/05/2012 16:12

I love Ambassa Dor, ... do you think it suits me?

Northey · 15/05/2012 16:02

Ooh, liking Ambassa Dor.

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 15/05/2012 15:48

Greetings humble BESH folks. I would like to be Faith, the great high priestess. Norf excellent follicle growing work! All those growy thoughts have clearly worked! I believe sperms can be living up to 5 days tops, but certainly 48 hours. I reckon you're good!
Ambassa Dor see What I did there?! you will always be welcome in Rulvakia!
5star make mine a triple. Good news is - house is almost ready. Bad news is carpets on order may not be ready for a couple of weeks :( boo hoo hoo! I want to go home

CaveMum · 15/05/2012 15:27

What ho!

I disappear for 5 minutes and you go and start a new fred!

HWHNN finally got away at 6am this morning. Technically he's due back late tomorrow night, but as he will be outbid contact I won't actually know when he gets back until he calls me to say he's landed!

I hereby proclaim myself Grand High Poobah in Charge of Cake Tasting!

5starGeneralLauraPalmer · 15/05/2012 15:08

Hello laydees. Anyone fancy a G&T?

I'll be over here in the corner for the time being. As you were, lovelies.

eurochick · 15/05/2012 14:53
Northey · 15/05/2012 14:47

So. 11pm tonight till 4pm tomorrow is 41 hours. If sperm live that long, then I should be ok.

sinkingflameofhilarity · 15/05/2012 14:37

I always feel the same, but, as someone not currently popping follicles, I will tell you:

  1. (some) people say seching every other day is best for sperm quality

  2. sperm lives longer than 24hrs (but can't remember how long!)

  3. how many, "I had sechs once, a week before ov, and got diffed", have you had to hear?

Just jump on him the second he walks through the door Wink

Northey · 15/05/2012 14:24

I've panicked myself so much about tininess of windows that I am now convince that sperm live for about 24 hours and an egg for about 5 minutes. Please put me right!

sinkingflameofhilarity · 15/05/2012 14:18

Ceremonial woo. Why can't more of life be accompanied by ceremonial woo?

Welcome to Rulvakia dor, I think we need an ambassador to provide sanity. Has no one else got their hat on yet?

Northy, last night and tomorrow seems perfect for a peri-popping follicle.

Northey · 15/05/2012 13:55

Scan finishedt. Follicle is growing slowly, but it is definitely growing, and apparently is now ready to pop at any moment. Irritatingly, I won't now see AMNH till tomorrow night, but we sechsed last night, so if it pops before mid afternoon tomorrow, hopefully that will cover it.

Northey · 15/05/2012 13:09

I reckon you could claim diplomatic status, as Madam Ambassador from the PESH, giving you rights to comfy chairs and conversation and ceremonial woo, but immunity from any shitness. Which is nice.