The BESH Republic Of Rulvakia

Feck - forgot re IPL. No haven't got home one although am sort of considering. Currently having it done at a place with a nurse type person. Home one would be massively cheaper but am not sure I'm brave enough to do it myself. Also have sort of oilvey skin which apparently has potential to be problematic if you don't use the right laser or something.

dot congrats on the diffed-ness! You are made of stern stuff to do camping whilst knocked up. That is going to be one hardcore baybee!

faif sorry to hear about your mum. you are actually making it sound vaguely appealing what with all the mod cons. I also very much like the idea of getting someone else to store the bloody thing shared ownership. They're not cheap though are they?

euro hope this doesn't sound too stalker-esque but read a fair bit of this thread last night just to make sure you were all as hysterical and cynical as you first appeared. Loved the intro to this thread but just wanted to be double sure there was none of that sparkly shit going on. Took me a good 100 or so posts to even start to understand the lingo. Surely you guys are a MN book in the making? There's a whole new language in here.

'unexplained' sounds totally wank. My BIL and SIL are 'unexplained' at the minute. Must be massively stressful.

Ps - its been a loooooooonng time since anyone called me fresh meat.

Oooo, fresh blood. I guess from your Beshtionnaire that you have been lurking around these parts for some time. Have you got the home IPL thing? Is it good? I've had laser zapping done by a nurse before and the results are great, so I want some more areas done, but was considering the home version if it works, so please tell.

I'm euro and answer to all variations thereof. The OH is KFZK (Kung fu zombie killer). I'm on my 20th cycle of trying for #1 and we are "unexplained" (=the NHS can't be @rsed to do more tests). I've mostly got over mentally about IVF and am stabbing myself with a needle nightly. I have now moved on to mentalling about the dodgy smear result I got this week. At least it is taking my mind of my IVF panics...

Norfy I am doing as well as can be expected. Have managed to get in to see a private consultant for a colposcopy tomorrow, so I should know more then (this is a whole new variety of the knicker-dropping routine - with a microscope added into the mix ). I will see what he says about the IVF. Then I have to decide whether or not to tell my clinic about the result if he says it is ok to go ahead. What a headfuck all of this is.

Laura I hope all goes well.

I would love to have a camper van but for now we do proper camping with a tent and everything. I am debating whether I should take a pee bucket with me this summer - I am not sure i will be able to traipse to the loo a gazillion times in a night.

The said camper van is a source of contention sadly. My parents bought it about 6 years ago with plans to semi-retire and explore the UK in it, sadly DMum died 5 years ago when they'd only had one adventure. When she was dying she made me promise I wouldn't let Ddad sell the camper! We stole the keys off him at one point but he is now adamant again that he wants to sell it :( We think we wil buy one between us - us being Dsis and BIL and ourselves. Our current one is like this In some ways it's too big, a smaller one is easier to take places. I think if we buy our own it'll be a VW but not a 70s cool one, an 80s one that people won't want! Like this :) but yes, camping but with a loo, shower, oven, fridge?! Am I selling it to you?!

Hello Camel Newbie - nice to see some fresh meat welcome additions in here.

I visit here under sufferance only as I am currently diffed with number 1. The BESH's have been marvellous at offering pant snot advice and general menkulling support.

Ok. Im back with my body weight in gin and cakes. Stay where you are ladies, will bring them round on my little tray.

bugs here have an extra cake seeing as though you're gin-less. Massive congrats on winning a babybee! Hope you're not feeling too shit. IMO first 12 weeks are just shite. Very scary. No clue what's happening in there. Feel increasingly tired and broken and can't even tell anyone. Grim. But only temporary. When is the next scan?

sinking body hair would be pretty alarming if allowed to grow unchecked. I blame my Italian roots. My ancestors are a bloody hairy bunch. Am currently IPLing it. Absolutely awesome invention.

faif talk to me about civilised camping. HY is wild about the idea of camping but I have always said a flat no. Maybe with a toilet and leccy it might be bearable.... Also do you own said camper van???

I hope bugs and euro are ok today.

I'll have wot sinky's having. How you feeling sinky?

More hirsute than Puss?

That's a little alarming, but god knows I love that ball of fluff, so I say you're in. After being thrown off a previous baby dust tastic forum I think you're a kindred spirit to the ESH.

You must make up for your lack of years months TTC by providing the gin and cream cakes.

Mines the eclair and a gin fizz. Ta.

Truthfully...not long enough to earn my stripes.

Am hopeful that a mitigating factor in your deliberations will be my total lack of RL outlets

Would normally lean on amazing RL BF but she's had the most vile time with an unsuccessful pregnancy this year so am totes going it alone. Hoping I can still indulge in entirely inappropriate and graphic snot watch here in your well established nation...?

Hi humps. You are most welcome. But if the answer to fifi's question is "Two whole cycles, and I'm really worried, because last time I got pregnant from lying in the wet patch 14 whole days after stopping the pill..." then you might just want to make up something to say instead...

You are my age twin :)

Posts....come on faith, get it together,

Oh I'm 30 by the way. And we cross pistes!

fresh meat?! How exciting! Pliz to tell us, how long have you been trying to win this baybee? I liked your answers too. Except the camping. I luff to camp with a. Camper van that has a bathroom and elkel-tircity

To introduce myself, I am faith, faif or phee. Trying to win a baybee since Christmas 2009, male ishoos that were finally found in December after a year of tests so we should be 'normal' by now. MSB (DH) has a date with a cup next month to check that out.

Right BESH, prepare to be amazed......I came home and thought 'Enough'! I sorted through five boxes in the hall so you can now walk through it rather than navigate round crap. I got two more letters for the previous occupant from this 'Equity house' despite numerous return to senders so I googled them and rang them and said HE DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE! FFS it's been 3 years. Prizes for the first person to guess what kind of company resides in Equity House - the kind of company who chase someone three years down the line despite multiple 'Return to sender'?!
Then MSB and I went through everythign we need to replace and we reckon we'll have enough money to buy a new car :) vroom vroom. Something topless and sexy!
I believe the stopping EPO after ovulation is discouraged because it can prevent implantation. But good for making more pant snot in the early days :)

Ps - ta muchly for letting me in!

Was actually a bit sweaty and concerned that would be denied entrance. Would be more than a tiny bit gutted to have to go back to the barbie world of baby dust.....

Ok so answers from the new blood:

Camelknees is a long standing thing courtesy of my darling mother. She's a sturdy no nonsense northern type and showed her profound love for us all as children by openly mocking lots of things. My nobbly knees be one of them. I like to think I've got slender pins (ie thin despite the lardy rest of me). My mother however has always called me out for the knees. The nobbly, scared to buggery knees. Knots on cotton was another of her favourites.

Quick lowdown - based in the north west, 34, boring corporate job (that according to many many MNetters today is now worse than pissing on people's kids for a living). Tying to get myself knocked up with number 2. Losing my fecking marbles in the process.

The hump does contain gin, many bags of minstrels, and also those weeny tubs of Pringles. Think of them not as humps but more as entertainment centres (a bit like those globes that were actually drinks cabinets back in the day).

New blood! Welcome camel, I liked your answers. Which reminds me, what happened to our other newby?
alwyn, are you out there?

YY to a horse racing theme for the next Fred in honour of Frankel.

norf I think you asked a couple of days ago about evening primrose oil. I've been taking it since cd6 , 2 x 1000mg capsules per day. I usually have very watery cervical fluid, and this has thickened it up a treat. I read somewhere on the interweb that it's not recommended for the second half of your cycle or when diffed. A great side benefit is that it's really good for your skin too

New blood?

Excellent. Numbers are a touch depleted (in a good, diffed, way)

So camel is camel knee like camel toe but bigger and lower?, what's the story with you? I'm currently mainly moaning about the ivf unit being totally crap at sending anything approaching an appointment (and have pcos and iron coated ovaries. Think of them as the Thor of the ovary world).

hi Camel

[surveys the foreigner]

Well I'm happy for you to join us Camel, extra points for filling out your BESHtionnaire without us needing to ask

Knock knock
Any room for a newbie?

Clearly TTC has made me mental in a way that people in RL would shun and point at. So I've turned to MN for some gusset checking company. All well and good except people keep chucking fecking baby dust at me. Am sure it's well intentioned but, well, no....

So can I come in? Look. I've even filled in my form.

BESHtionnaire/citizenship test:

1. Do you like gin?
   Yes. Would like to petition for it to become one of the four elements. Surely we could replace wind. Who really needs wind?

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   Would like to be both but alas am not quite exciting enough. HY (hairy Yorkshireman) is both older than me and as poor as I am (although much tighter).

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

Definitely c).

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

a) have even been known to provide pee sticks....

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

b)

6. Number of pets?

Does my 2 year old count?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

Once had a very filthy dream about Martin Clunes. SO wrong. Also John Simm.

8. Lesbian crush?

Claudia Winkleman. Massive girl crush. Think it's the hair.

9. What are your views on camping?

Would rather spoon my own eyeballs out.

10. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on? i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it. ii) Over 100 quid iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Too much. Somewhere between b) and c). My problem is POAS far too early or late "just in case". 5am wees are starting to feel odd without a POAS.

Finally, tell us how you found the BESH and why you'd like to join us Pliz

Snooping around trying to find somewhere where baby dust (or even worse baby-dancing) isn't allowed.

So er can i come in please?

Yes. CD24s, because cycle is a bit long (though clearly massively improved from the days of 90+ day cycles),

Well that's an encouraging thing Lors. Will be rooting for you and bean.