TTC 10 plus months, Part 7

sexy cold!! ha ha, i love that. i'm just waiting for the instructions on what to do next so i'll let you know. if they say to have a 2 month course of anti-b's then i think i'm going to do 2 months of the brown diet alongside it! I've told the athens clinic that i'm currently doing the super ovulation programme of letrozole and prednisolone and asked them to advise if they think i should stop that and do whatever treatment they advise first - which would make sense. No I don't think i'll bother telling the NHS - I'm due for IVF at different clinic from my last one, so i'm 'between consultants' so think i would just delay that till i've done this treatment first. No joycep i didn't add water, i just, er, caught some mid flow, about a large teaspoons worth (nice). and yes my sexy colds were hidden c, ureaplasma, and gardnerella vaginalis which is 'a change in the vaginal flora composition and is indicative of vaginal infection'.

joycep have you found us a drug supplier online yet :)

sarlat glad things went better this time with the new consultant

nelly glad things are thawing at your place, it is such a stressful business, we certainly didn't used to ague like this before, it makes sense to wait and see what happens with Mr B's next SA, we know in the past we can do it ourselves and if he still isn't 100% then i'm happy to leave it this month, it will only make matters worse if I force him to shag me this month especially as his sperm are being lazy feckers. He went to the GP's today and is having some blodd tests done, is eating better, the GP also didn't think his SA results were too bad . I think after next month we'll try iui

princess what a lovely email from your friend

euro i'm not sure whether it was gonal f or other contributing factor but it felt a bit like an out of body experience, I felt light headed and not really there, it didn't last long, I felt emotional the last 2 days but the pains haven't been bad so far, felt stronger on the Tamoxifen.

frannie sorry about the appointment, I have to say that I am treated better by Shehata privately than by his NHS colleagues although I don't agree with any of it, the NHS isn't free I've paid my NI so should be treated better

Well my last patient had her family around and her little great grand daughter came and gave me a hug and kiss goodbye

waves to everyone

mrsd no, this isn't self-preservation. I just don't like IVF. This is a long-standing thing. When my friend had IVF 4 years ago, I said then that I would never do it. I am really not sure why I am. It isn't right for us.

Carebear you have answered the question I asked on the SO thread on here and inspired me to email Serum.

princess I feel like that about the HPV testing I am having as a result of the dodgy smear. Apparently 80%+ of adults come into contact with one or other of the many forms of HPV at some point in their lives. It is only problematic if it is the genital wart one (eugh) or one of the few cancer-causing strains (which is what I am being tested for to assess whether the abnormal cells are likely to become problematic). It's not really any different to something like chickenpox that a similar amount of us will have had at some point.

joycep that is what we are wishing we had done. We both felt more comfortable with that. We've ended up here for really silly reasons. Back in March, the clinic called to arrange the drugs delivery when I was in court and couldn't deal with it so asked Mr euro to. He arranged the delivery for the next day because we were off on holiday after that and if I was going to start when the clinic wanted me to as soon as we came back, that was pretty much the only option. That night I freaked out a bit, we talked about it and decided to cancel the delivery. The drugs turned up while we were both still in bed the next day and Mr euro didn't turn them away. I was not happy. They've lurked in the fridge ever since and some of them expire in August. So because they were there, we have ended up doing the full IVF when neither of us wanted to. Which is bonkers really.

That's interesting JoyceP. Sorry I wasn't casting aspersions on anyone. I only think the above because I have mega retrospective jealousy of the ex. Stupid brain hole. As I said I think STI are like sexy colds. Or well, just colds now if they can be passed on.

But the ex definitely had it from her slag of an ex. Not passed on to OH though as he was thoroughly tested. Twice. But I do now have concerns about the hidden chlamydia thang....despite having three all clear tests....

Virgins can have chlamydia - they have found out that it can be passed on through the womb.
care - was one of them hiddenC?

Oh perhaps she did have ivf then Mrsd. Afterall a lot of people probably don't admit it.
I forgot to say euro - perhaps after this should try mild or natural ivf. Chances are lower but you wil still find out whether mr and mrs euro fertilise.
carebear - my hero! Thank you for posting that. I bought my little pots from the chemist yesterday. Did you just add water? I wasn't going to bother with the saline either. I'm going to keep a close eye on what happens for you next. Have they given you a prescription?

Ooh CareBear well done on sending your period to Athens.

My OH has to say this about STIs (he had a long term ex who had chlamydia from her ex who was the first bod she slept with and had been cheating on her with all and sundry. I have a sort of poor thing so unfair / ha ha ha dirty slag cos you slept with my OH and I really wish you hadn't mentality. Mostly poor cow.) Anyway, he would say, "are you embarrassed by having a cold because someone sneezed on you? I didn't think so either." So I wouldn't worry if they are sexy colds that you have tucked up there. They could be from your OH and completely non sexy in origin. As you say it's something to run with rather than having the unexplained badge pinned to you. After my 6 months of TTC like fury post brown diet (you may or may not be familiar with the brown diet) I may be inclined to do this too. What do you do now you have the results? Can you get antibiotics over here? Do you have to do this privately? Are you going to tell your consultant (NHS / private?) Do tell, so interested in this line of inquiry. And that Alex does get around. Bad, bad boy

sorry - totally missed the point of that post which was to say it was really easy to do and potentially worth getting tested. I got a small plastic sample pot from a chemist for 80p, and just stuck it in the normal post which was £1.90. Didn't bother adding the saline. And it cost about £200. they were really quick to respond to questions via email and from posting the sample to getting the results took 10 days. www.serum-ivf.com/

hi ladies - i joined in the (uggh) posting my menstrual blood to athens craze this month, and just got the results back as positive for 3 different bacterial infections. I know some doctors think these tests are unreliable so i've not got total confidence in this but willing to give whatever treatment they recommend a go. its so funny how times change - 4 years ago relatively near the start of ttc the thought of something possibly stemming from an STI filled me with and . Today the thought of a possible (treatable) STI and I'm and . Maybe it was that Alex James!! ha ha

seperately big hug to everyone who's been feeling 'meh'. x

Carla is pregnant again? Wow. I thought she did have ivf for the last one, that's why there was all that speculation about her having twins.

I'm feeling a bit better today, I've managed to eat some solid food woo hoo!

Euro, do you think you might be thinking you don't want a pregnAncy out of this so as not to be disappointed if it doesn't work? Sort of like a self preservation thing? It sounds good that you've talked it over with mr euro and you are in agreement. At least with ivf you might get closer to some answers, eg can the eggs fertilise, how the sperm behave etc. didn't you say there were some questions over the sperm samples in terms of volume? I've been reading quite a lot of stuff on sperm and it seems that male factor problems can often not be diagnosed with the usual tests, so things can look fine on paper.

Nelly, I really feel for you. Weddings are a stressful time anyway and then this crAp on top. I sometimes feel rage towards dh when he doesn't seem as bothered about it all as me. I really don't think he does care As much. He would probably be fine with being childless, but then he has a great career that he can focus on. Also, men don't have the clock do they, so there isn't the same sense of urgency.

Pout, I can't believe your nasty mil. I hope your dh told her where to go.

This tonsillitis has really knocked me. I've got no energy a d all I want o do is crawl back to bed. Waves to everyone I've missed.

A story to give us hope - didn't Carla Bruni spend years trying to get pregnant and I thought she had refused to do ivf? Anyway it would seem she is pregnant again at 44 and she only gave birth about 9 months ago.

nelly - that?s good there is some glimmers of a truce. It does sound like you need a heart to heart about ivf and do discuss how you ?re really feeling. I am sorry you thought this was the month as well. I have had the odd month like that and when AF arrives it feels like a sledgehammer has ripped me up. Slightly overly dramatic but neverless it hurts more than the months where I have no doubt in my mind it will appear.

euro - i have just read with interest your separate ivf thread. There are some interesting perspectives on there. The drugs are obviously playing havoc with your mood and emotions. Having said that I do believe you have to be emotionally ready for ivf and i think because you are in the unexplained category, it makes the choice of going down the ivf route a bit harder just purely because you don?t have a reason as to what is going on.
I have to say that I haven?t rebooked my cancelled ivf appointment because I have got very jittery and i would prefer to try and exhaust all the possible reasons as to why this isn?t happening. I can?t see myself doing it this year unless I am told it is my only option.

I am sorry I can?t join in the conversation about Blur...sadly I don?t think I could even name a song they did!

Just to add to our list ? my colleague?s 13yr old daughter just told her to F? off over the phone. My colleague was shouting ? don?t speak to me like that?. I sympathised with colleague whilst really I was laughing inside [evil] ahhahaha

Loving the gig/band/minor sleb confessions ladies My OH has been in bands with used-to-be-famous types and IMHO they are mostly dicks. I saw Blur at Glastonbury back in 1994 and I was not a child, jesus christ I actually am that old. Though i have heard that Alex James makes crap cheese

Also loving the kid-free lists especially the ones that involve 'special cuddles' . Thanks to Gin I was able to wake up this morning and cheer myself up with the fact that I'm not the mother of an axe murderer. I can also add: spending as much time as you want doing hair, make-up and otherwise being vain; buying clothes without worrying about whether they are stain-resistant or have to be dry-cleaned; actually having interests and hobbies that do not revolve around kids. I know life doesn't have to revolve around children when you have them but I also know so many people whose lives do and they are REALLY boring .

Sorry so many 10+ers are having a crap time. Brickbats to the ERTDs (though that's a really, really yucky image). Hugs to Euro it sounds like the drugs and the whole situation are really messing with your head. I've been really interested in your other thread about IVF choices and have also found it reassuring that there are people out there who are not gung-ho. I hope you and Mr E find your way to a decision that feels right for you.

Nelly so sorry you and Mr N have argued. I've reached that point with Mr A a number of times since ttc when we've had an almighty row and I've thought 'that's it, we're splitting up, and there goes my chance of ever having a baby' (you appear to be my celestial twin so it's not surprising this is the case ) It is a monumentally stressful situation and when you add wedding/honeymoon planning into the mix it is hardly surprising you're feeling the strain. Hope you get some time over the weekend to sort it out - and Frannie's right, at least it's not coincided with ov time so you're not forced to shag him while secretly wishing he were dead .

Princess what a lovely response from your bestie. I'm relieved for you. She sounds like a gem

Frannie that consultant is arse! I'm sorry your bubble has been burst. It builds no confidence whatsoever when they are so dismissive and inconsistent. Surely medical professionals are supposed to be on your side .

Sarlat you know we will all be watching for news of the new woo with interest!

I'm getting over the arrival of ERTD at least, so the tail feathers are feeling a bit perkier. I started taking the 5th lot of clomid the other night and immediately regretted it. I don't think it's doing me any favours. I won't be taking the next lot. Maybe it'll be worth it if I ever do manage to have the hsg, but otherwise, it looks like the only decision left is whether or not to have IVF.

I had better be off and do some work. Waves to everyone, hope you all have a lovely weekend.

princess I will keep an eye out for you! I'll be the person trying to lick Damo...

Teu I'm loving the idea of the outlook appointment. It's a new use for the "scheduling" option!

Teu sorry that ERTD has turned up for you too. Cuppa, biccies and hugs. It's a cruel game. Hope that your chat with your friend was cathartic, my email confessions and her reassurance have cheered me up no end. Hope you have a lovely weekend x

Morning all. To the child-free list I'd like to add:
-not having to stand in the cold on the touch line and watch rugby/netball or heaven forbid, football. None of which I understand.
-not having to do the 5am training run if they took to rowing.

at the Nan and champers story. Sounds like something I'd come out with when in self-destruct mode and don't need booze for that.
I've read everything honest. Incapable of recalling specifics though. Hang in there Euro.

AF was late. The surge of hope, even when you know there isn't any was quite cruel. Now thinking about sending MrTeu an Outlook appointment for CD10 . Had a good winge to my best friend about the whole thing. Horribly hard this month to be around diffeds and babies. Anyway, onwards.

Waves to you all.

Nelly I went to a festival on Alex's farm last year. I though that Blur was going to be the headline act on the Sat night as they kept it under wraps until the very last minute. I checked my emails and the website as much as I could and was pretty unbearable about the whole thing... especially when it turned out to be the Kooks . I hate the kooks and the arrogant twatty front man used to live upstairs from us (in one of the smaller flats I might add). Disappointed.com. I hope that Mr N's goodbye is a sign of a lovely reconciliation. Sorry that ERTD came especially as you had got your hopes up. I really hope you get to sort this out with him and 'fess up about how awful it's making you feel.

Pout Well done on telling the band they were crap. I like your kneecapping story too! Bands need to be treated like morons to keep them grounded. And they secretly love it. DH used to run a record label and management company (before deciding that earning pocket money wasn't really conducive to a happy 'adult' life) and I've met so many up-themselves bands / minor slebs. And don't even get me started on the kids in Hoxton. Anyway, one of the bands that he managed were playing a private gig.... I was very, very, very drunk on very, very, very cheap free wine and went loudly to the v. cool female bassist (still love her she's ace), "Oooh, look there's that fat one from T4" Said presenter (can't remember name, don't think she was on for very long) was about 5 ft away and clearly heard. DH dragged me off by the arm and told to pipe down. Ah those were the days - great parties, free AAA entry and cheap free booze

Euro Very exciting about August!! Maybe even see you in the mahooosive crowd! (I may be the drunk person clambering on the stage being evicted...) I'm glad that you had a heart-to-heart with Mr Euro. Ultimately you have to do what's right for you. We'll all be here to support you, no matter what you do and I'm sure Mr Euro will too.

Morning ladies. I'm loving the childfree lists. I'll add:

-ability to go on holiday to places that are inaccessible by pushchair and have no kids club to scramble over ruins and see wildlife uninterrupted by shouts of "MONKEY!" thereby scaring off every mammel and bird in a 2 mile radius
-ability to go for a drink after work with no preplanning and no need to get back for the nursery/bathtime

Oh nelly that's rubbish. As others have said, you are going through a lot of stressful things at the moment, so some relationship tension is inevitable. I'm glad there has been a bit of a thaw. Be kind to yourselves.

carrie it must feel great to go and so something purely for yourself - and wholly non-ttc related!

frannie I am glad the useless twunt of a dr at least gave you some met. Over on Verity quite a few women seem to have had success with that. I have heard about the stomach upsets on it that pout mentions though. Apparently there is a slow release version available if they are too bad (it is more expensive and so of course not prescribed at first on the NHS).

princess I am glad the blood test timing looks like it will work out right, despite your consultant's best efforts!

pout I can't believe you had both M and MIL stress at your wedding. Reading MN, particularly all the tales of awful MILs, makes me realise how lucky I am to have one who mostly does as she is told!

Your Collapsed Lung story is brilliant! That certainly makes a change from the usual simpering fans famous people encounter!

I'm loving the Blur stories. I am a huge fan too. I saw them at Reading in 97/98 (gah, so long ago!) and their comeback gig in Hyde Park a couple of years ago. I'm also going to the August gig in Hyde Park princess. I can't wait.

Thanks for all of your thoughts. I feel slightly better today. I am not sure if that is because my body is getting used to the drugs or because Mr euro and I had a chat about everything last night and he did what I think I subconciously wanted - suggested stopping. I confessed to him what I wrote on the separate IVF thread I started yesterday - that I am actually hoping it won't work because I just don't want a baby this way. We were both completely turned off by the idea of IVF when the nurse explained to us what the drugs did and we wish we had listened to our instincts. Anyway, we have agreed that we will carry on with the injections for the next couple of days and have more of a chat at the weekend. I'm really torn. I am curious as to whether our sperm and eggs can get it together, etc but don't want a pregnancy out of it. It is all so confusing.

The odd thing is that I'm on day 5 of my bleed now and I am getting a few faint ov twinges (these usually start at about day 4ish of my cycle and I always thought they were my body gearing up to ov). I thought my ovaries were supposed to have been "switched off"? I guess I will find out on Monday at my scan whether or not that is the case.

nelly I am glad that there is a thaw in the Nelly household! I think sometimes you need a good row to clear the air and tackle the issues.
Yep, on top on my alcoholic mother's carry on (who after I straightened her actually behaved herself perfectly on the day!) it was my MIL who decided that me marrying her son was obviously the most heinous thing ever

princess If I was famous and you came up to me and said all those things I would think that you were fabulous! They must get so bored with the usual brand of simpering fans. I have another Blur story that I hope won't out myself by sharing. I briefly had a thing with a guy who promoted some of the big Indie bands of the day. There was an aftershow party at a nightclub after a Blur concert and for some crazy reason (looking back I really don't know why 'cos it was weird) he put me in the little booth at the entrance to the club and I took the tickets for a bit. It had a little turnstile thing that you operated from the booth. Well the band turned up and I managed to nearly kneecap them with the turnstile. They were not impressed
On another occasion I also managed to insult the band Collapsed Lung quite spectacularly. They had a gig at the student union, I watched the first 5 minutes decided they were crap and spent the rest of the set at the bar. Afterwards I went up to chat to my BF's boyfriend who was stood with some people I didn't know. Said people asked what I thought of the band so I told them in great detail what utter shit I thought the gig was. I was later informed by the irate boyfriend that they were the band. Ooops.

Hahaha at the Alex James stories! I like him much better now he lives on a farm and makes cheese .

And princess looking H.O.T. is the way forward. Says the girl (at my age, I suspect that's not the right term, but can't think of myself any other way) who hasn't showered yet as the thermostat on the heating is playing up and wants to maintain our house at a balmy 27degrees, so I've had to turn the boiler off to stop it burning through all our gas. Never ever buy an old house. Even when you put in something shiny and new, like our boiler which is 6 months old, it still finds a way to be broken.

Thank you lovely ladies. You are all amazing. I feel a bit better today although we are still not entirely on speaking terms, but he did actually say goodbye when he left this morning, so think we are on the "ready to forgive" slope. No in the cold light of (another) day I'm sure it's not about to be the end of our relationship, hope not anyway!, but we probably need to have a bit of a heart to heart about IVF; and also he needs to be aware how much this failure every month is getting me down. I tend to just put a brave face on and get on with things, but I guess I can't expect him to know how I feel, when I hide it so well. Most of the time, at least .

frannie your consultant sounds like a total arsehole! I am amazed at how zen some of you ladies are, when faced with such idiots. But someone up-thread mentioned how they didn't want to upset them, for fear of what may be denied at a later date. This is so shocking - not that people feel that way, it's natural - but that they are placed in a situation where you'd need to consider that. It's akin to bullying. Twats, the lot of them. Except my best friend - but sadly she's not a fertility doc. She will however be useful in years to come when I need some work done .

pout I thought it was your mother that was a wedding nightmare, don't tell me you had a MiL to deal with as well! WTF (as joy would say! One of my favourites too actually) No you didn't overshare at all, I did wonder if perhaps I shouldn't have spread my relationship worries all over the internet, but I can't talk to RL friends about it as they don't know about the TTC shit. So thank you for sharing, it does make me feel better knowing I'm not the only crazy loon one who finds this hard sometimes. And joy you are so right, it's hard for us to forget about TTC when our body points it out to us all the time. Another confession - I secretly was thinking I'd get properly pregnant this cycle. I'd had an HSG with an all clear. We'd been on holiday, so I'd been "relaxed", hanging out with babies and pregnant people. I'd lost track of my cycle so was just having sex. I went to visit and IVF clinic. All the fate-inducing prompts. But no. Although ERTD has turned back to spotting after 48 hen and being floored by ours. POAS, anyone? .

Oh mrsden forgot to say about your tonsilitis yesterday, I remember having it as a teen and it was horrid. I hope you feel better soon. Take the drugs and get SWI though!

OK I better go and do some work. Thanks again for all being so supportive, you'd have been within your rights to tell me to dry my eyes and apologise .

X post Pout
I too have an Alex James story, quite a recent one, I was so excited to meet him at a book signing and was grinning ear to ear, he said, "You're very smiley" and I said at 100 miles an hour "I know, I was a huge Blur fan as a teenager. I can't believe I'm meeting you. I had a note book with facts about Blur in it. I think you're ace. My boyfriend works in the music industry but I wish he would make cheese instead". He signed my book with a very nice message but looked a bit at my outburst. I was shaking afterwards and then realised, what a complete knob I'd been. I've worked on films with real celebs and have never lost my cool like that before - they are normal people FGS. However, I really did obsess about Blur as a teen (although I lurved Damon; Alex was my #2 choice) so I guess it's only natural to revert to 14 year old, red faced, obsessive geek (with book of blur facts). I'm going to see them at Hyde Park in August and I have had to keep a lid on how excited I am because I would have burst a million times over into a million pieces. And I will know if I'm pregnant by then. And what a consolation if I'm not. I've waited 16 years to see them. I will be drowning my sorry self in snake bite and looking moody (doesn't really go with being 30 does it? - I will be drowning my self in white wine and looking neurotic) Your story is much more rock and roll. I am very that you met him in a bar. Had I have been a little bit older (and not as gawky) in the mid-90s I would have tracked him down and shagged him. Fact. I know he wasn't fussy I read his book. Good luck with your scan today.

Morning all,

Frannie I'm outraged at your consultant! It must be something about the 20% PCO figure at BSUH - my consultant told me not to worry because about 20% of the population have the PCO appearance, which I apparently have. Seems a bit of a coincidence to me. I can't believe that he sat looking out of the window! And then told you not to worry and then gave you drugs. It's all a nonsense. Can you try to switch consultants up there?

Nelly I'm so sorry about all the rubbishness with Mr Nelly. Planning and wedding and TTC is too much. We stopped trying so that I could focus all my energies on the wedding and I passed the honeymoon planning over to my mum. I didn't even have IVF to throw into the mix. Poor you. I'm sorry it's so difficult at the moment. I'm sure that the 3 combined are causing a strain and it's no wonder you are arguing. Hope you two get things sorted over the weekend. I'm sorry the thread of meh-ness made you feel down too.

Carrie what is your tattoo of? I've always thought about getting one. I very nearly did when I was younger but chickened out. I flit around so much that I think I would get v.bored and regret having one. I'd have to get one in a discreet place though and unless I have a eureka moment on design it hardly seems worth the pain! My friends had to keep theirs covered in vaseline and gauze when they had them done and always said that the pain wears off pretty quickly. Hope you DH doesn't stay grumpy with you for too long.

Sarlat Am really glad you got to speak to an understanding and proactive consultant. What a breath of fresh air. Am glad this has given you the renewed hope you so desperately needed. Great news!

MrsD all of our friends (OHs more than mine) are pretty flakey and my birthday is right on top of Xmas, so I'm used to being forgotten about or people not being able to celebrate because they are away with their families. But I'm sorry that your best friend forgot because she was so caught up. Perhaps we should start 'forgetting' (especially sprog birthdays) and say, sorry I was caught up in my own misery and despair about not having a child.

Wine EWCM and dark pee lines? I hope you DTD last night. FX. If you don't know where you are in your cycle you won't know whether you are in the 2ww or not. This could be a blessing in disguise!

Euro I hope you are feeling ok today. Thinking of you.

In other news, I had a really lovely email back from my bestie yesterday. Sort of saying that it is appropriate for me to moan about our situation; that she is very aware how upsetting everything must be for me at the moment; that she is happy if I need space, just to let her know; she is happy for me to talk to her whenever I need to; and that she knows that there is nothing she can say to make this situation better. I'm really glad that I got it out there and that she is being supportive.

And I am now 3 DPO according to FF. Which means the blood test will magically be on 7 DPO. I am so pleased with my chart. It's the first normal one (admittedly I only charted for 3 months last year and gave up due to temps all over the place so haven't really got much to compare to and managed to get pregnant on one of the wonky charts - maybe because i wasn't using the thermometre correctly?) and I'm now getting all the right things in the right places, which I'm sure I wasn't but have no conclusive evidence. I'm still not massively hopeful for an instadiff as I feel that when we start again next month we're actually re-setting the clock again and that I have to realistically give it 6 months before acknowledging that there is a more serious problem or that it is simply just going to take us a longer time than average couples and that I won't be able to drink at Henley next year because I may be on the brown diet / up the duff...it was so much fun I wanna go back and have the free oysters and champers Ding ding, round 4.

We're going up to the midlands tomorrow to see OHs bestie - we're going to surprise him for his birthday. They have two lovely kids - 8 and 2. Although the 2 year old is always a bit bittersweet because he is a month older than my first MC would have been. But he is lovely and there's no denying him cuddles. Also, we're meeting our other friends twin 1-year-old boys for the first time. I'm in a good mindset today so I'm hoping that stroking babies will encourage some maternal hormones and possibly a BFP next month? Plus I'm going to make sure I look h.o.t. and not at all like a knackered, suckling mummy.

Waves and feather plumps to everyone else. I think I may need to start practicing the fertility moves...

Hello ladies

Firstly I'm sorry nelly that you are going through a hard time at the mo with MrN. I think that longterm TTC really does negatively impact relationships. I think a massive part of that is the insecurities and feelings of inadequacies that accompany the stream of failed cycles. I know that I feel about 2 inches tall these days and because of that I push DH away/start arguments/look for his shortcomings/want to blame him for the TTC mess. To my shame I told DH the other day that I wished I hadn't married him. I don't mean that in the slightest but I was angry about how awful his mother was to me when we got married and angry that she (largely) ruined the one day in which I wanted to just do something "normal" and feel normal for once and forget the abnormalness of my infertility. I am pissed off with him for letting her get away with it and so wanted to hurt him back. I really don't think I would have said something like that a few years ago before the TTC madness. Like others have said I think the hormonal shifts and the mentalling over what our bodies are doing 3 weeks of the month is something that our partners cannot truly understand and I think that it can cause resentment. I also personally find that I feel almost trapped in my own mind and body in this bubble of me versus my body and he doesn't have a role in that relationship. Anyways, I have probably overshared and bored you all shitless. Chin up nelly I'm sure that you will feel differently again come the next hormonal shift! I always find I am more loved up with DH at ovulation time!

euro hope you are okay today.

frannie What an arse wipe of a consultant. Has anyone ever seen a truly, 100% good consultant????? I was given Metformin by my old GP and was on it for a bit. Prepare yourself for the worst shits of your life! Take it steady building up your dose

carrie Marvels at tattoo Wow. What is it?

Purple how bloody dare the adoption people say something like that. It really angers me. They think after spending a few hours with you under very abnormal conditions that they can make an assessment like that. Who the bloody hell do they think they are?

wine it sounds like ovulation...weird. Since my lap I have had much earlier ovulation. This month I have been barely over my period and EWCM has started. I wonder whether it is the lap or the Cod Liver Oil. Anyways if I were you I would SWI just in case. Glad that you are feeling much better too!

Princess at special cuddles in the hallway, kitchen table!!

sarlat I am so glad that you had a more positive appointment. I so hope that the massage does the trick

gin another Stone Roses fan here. remembers fondly my Indie kid days & my BF at university feeble attempts to chat up Alex from Blur "Just 'cos you're famous doesn't mean you can't buy me a drink you know"

mrsd How are you feeling today?

Right will write off, have got my second scan today. Wonders whether I find that all my little follies are now little cysts!

Big love and waves to everyone.