TTC 10 plus months, Part 7

There is a guy in my office whose wife is expecting a baby girl ...due a few days ago and he keeps banging on how he wanted another son and not another daughter. I just shouted across the room that he should be grateful for what he gets....the tone was so acidic and full of bitterness. My usual line in the office is that I would prefer puppies to babies but I think I may have let the cat out of the bag with my little outburst. I just get so cross when people actually say they are disappointed that they are getting the wrong sex of baby. Grrrr.

gin - i?m appalled that you get no funding. I don?t think I had quite taken on board when you were saying you were getting your in laws to contribute. Talk about adding to the stress.

artemis - i agree, i think we are going to do 1 nhs round and then 1 private. Not sure we would have the funds to do 2 at the place we are going. But i think emotionally and financially there has to be a limit.

poutingdave - i?m sorry about your argument with dh. Totally justified point in my eyes but with a typical male and unhelpful answer. When my dh emailed me about some friend of his who had had a baby, i emailed back with some rant about how unfair it was that a 50stone couple who are so unhealthy could possibly conceive in the first place. His response was something like ?let?s be happy for them?. luckily i was at work and so could only spit venom at my computer but i totally understand insensitive husband comments. Oh and Stay away from the 2ww threads and buses though. I even find the titles depressing and it can send me in to a downward spiral of life is unfair mode.

euro - can?t believe you are starting so soon. best of luck. Are you taking the pred alongside it all?

wine sorry about your poorly pet and you family leaving. But good news that you are on the mend and hopefully you will be on the ttc boat soon .

princess - that does sound like a hugeeee amount to see glucky....that?s what the top gynaes charge.

mrsd - i?m confused my this long/short thing. In fact i think you enlightened me about the difference at our dinner. I really really don?t like the sound of the long term one.

nelly, no chance of bringing the thread down with mehness, everyone is always up and down. No regrets mentioning the spare room. Would be interested to hear about how you get on with reflexology . If you do get upduffed , you know you will cause a surge in google hits for reflexologists.

floatinglotus - sorr y you have been at this so long too. As others said, the gp needs to take you seriously. It makes me mad how they are quick to tell you that past x age, time is running out, yet under 30 you have plenty of time.

Who do you think buys Middy?s pregnancy sticks and opks? I would be really interested to know this....genuinely...yes i?m a saddo. Would she be laid back and just use the one poas or would she be like most people on MN and manage to fill up the bathroom bin with poas. But then you would have to worry about the cleaners discovering them and sending a picture to the rags so how do you get rid of them? uuum i shall ponder on my lunch break.

Hi everyone

Lotus welcome. I agree with others, given the length of time you have been trying you should be entitled to investigation. Coming from the opposite end of the age scale I would definitely recommend going sooner rather than later, if you end up needing treatment your age will be on your side. Jealousy is something we are all very familiar with on here, feel free to vent!

Dave/Pout sorry about the argument with your DH. Men really don't feel the impact of this in the same way. My DP tries to cheer me up with head in the sand 'it will all work out' type stuff and I know he's trying to help but it just makes me think he's not taking it seriously. Hope you have made up. FWIW I don't think your post was selfish in the slightest, we all need to share our feelings and this is the best place for it

Princess a birds and bees themed wedding? FFS . I would suggest going as a sparrowhawk, or a killer wasp Glucky certainly isn't cheap, is she? I think you're right to defer that option and continue with what you're doing, it seems to be working for you.

Hocus hope everything went well for you today.

Wine I don't know what people mean either when they say 'try harder'. Shag more? Shag harder? Shag to the point of exhaustion? Sit the eggs and swimmers down and read them the riot act? Maybe ask the preggers registrar how she did it if she gives you that line again . Oh god and the 'kids are hard work' line... I have one friend I rarely see now because her entire conversation can be summed up as 'everything is easy for you, you don't have kids' [punch the ungrateful bitch emoticon]. Hope the traffic improves...

Gin that's massively unfair that you don't get any IVF funding at all. I thought one NHS cycle was tight but I've realised it seems the most usual policy. None at all, when it's a medically necessary procedure...

Nelly I'm really interested in your natural IVF investigations, please do keep posting the info . Hope your downregging goes OK Euro

It was me that offered to PM everyone with dates for a northern meet but have been too slack busy and am now confused about exactly who was interested... I think it's me, Nelly, Sarlat, Wine, joycep possibly Mrsden? Holler if I have missed you. I'll circulate weekend dates in July/Aug and we'll see if we can find one everyone can manage. I would be interested in a London meet too if it happens at the weekend.

I'm going to visit a lovely friend this w/e. She is single but would love to be partnered with kids and gives me a really different perspective on the whole ttc thing that often helps to get my head out of my . Recently I moaned that I still wasn't pregnant and she said 'neither am I' with a wry grin... it's not much consolation but I guess at least we are in the game.

Waves and tail feather strokes to everyone, hope you all have a lovely weekend

Did you read about the women who got pregnant by a squid? I kid you not. www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2159692/Womans-mouth-falls-pregnant-squid-biting-sea-creature-scientists-claim.html

A weekend in the Cotswolds sounds lovely wine. Although wet traffic jam not so much. I read that you're in for some really heavy rain in the UK, what an awful summer so far.

princess a towed car is not a good start to the day. Where did your DH leave it?

gin I think you're right, 3 months seems to be the time it takes everyone else I know. Quite a few manage it first month. But, I was thinking today that when I do (I will, I will, I will) get pregnant I will be so grateful and thankful. Lots of people I know take pregnancy for granted and I know I won't be one of those people. You won't find me on a pregnancy thread moan, moan, moan. Famous last words!

I'm in the car on my phone heading for the cotswolds for family send off weekend. It is pissing it down!!

lemon I want that dream to be true! I'm not being super strict with diet and will be having a glass of (good, cold mmmm) wine over the weekend. I can go without fairly well now as long as I have other nice drinks in a wine glass

princess I'd love the recipe! that's quite a lot of money isn't it? I wonder what she would suggest? The Honestly Healthy book came this week and I'm really enjoying it, it's still on offer on amazon I think. Last night we has sweetcorn fritters and they were tasty. It's alkaline based but there is a little goat/sheep cheese. It's made me feel reinvigorated to eat well and I currently have time to juice it up too. Probiotics have helped me so much I think I can brave full on green juice next week! Crap about the car

lotus welcome, may your stay with us be little

nelly I'm following your natural ivf exploration with interest. It really appeals to me. Joycep you will need to open an ivf b and b!

gin it bothers me that grumpy pet is growing old and grey. I want to see yours now!

Stuck. In. Wet. Traffic.

OK, I've calmed down now and car has been rescued (£140 - could have been worse although evidently I'm not thrilled)

Wine I forgot to mention that I've heard from Glucky - the initial consultation cost is £240 for 45 minutes. All follow up consultations are £120 (less than having the car towed...). I'm not making an appointment yet as there is so much other stuff with consultants and nutritionists going on, I don't need to throw anything else into the mix!! Too many cooks etc Glad to hear you are healing and sorry to hear it's not a very neat stitch up. Don't worry about missing the egg. You need to focus on getting better. You will be back on the TTC horse before you know it :) And now those eggs can glide along you'll be preggers in no time at all. Well done on coming back into the brown diet camp. Glad your supplements are working out for you. We've been making brown diet friendly cakes - brown flour, veg, agave syrup with cashew nut butter, lemon and coconut topping. I can try and get Mr Princess to tell me the recipe (he's a bit haphazard but his creations are lovely) if you are interested?

Hi lotus hopefully your age shouldn't matter I was 27 when I went to see the gp after about 18 months with no luck conceiving. She did some blood tests for a couple of months and then referred me to the fertility clinic. I got an appointment quite quickly and they were great. More bloods, swabs, US scan and PCT. Then ready to start on clomid and oestrogen. Just make sure you are clear on how much it is affecting you and your partner, take him along to the gp appointment too. Hope you get all the help you need ASAP.

Welcome to the weekend... you car has been towed. BAD HUSBAND!

Morning all!

Welcome here to lotus. I agree that after 2,5 yrs they should really take you seriously. You've waited long enough. And I hope there will be something straightforwardly fixable!

I dreamt of you wine, not brown dieting in my imagination. You said at our kitchen table and we consumer copious amounts of good, cold, white wine :) Much kudos for returning to the brown-diet/joining princess there. I just think TTC is shit enough without stringent diets. I try not to drink too much, exercise and eat much fruit and veg. But that is it, really. Incidentally we had an appointment and one of the things she said stuck in my head. It was that clearly something was not working (well thanks!) and that it may just need a bit of twigging (burning away hypothetical endo was what she was referring too) but it made me think about the booze thing. Not ready to give it all up though. DH came home last night after being away most of shag-week so we headed straight to the pub (and saw poor Ireland being trashed from the corner of our eyes)...

No down-regging IVF would appeal to me too, as it is over quicker. But our clinic does the standard down-reg followed by stimulation. Ask about it, indeed mrsd and keeping a list I find is useful. We sit down the night before and appointment to write everything down... Don't worry too much about the genetics, I am sure it is all ok.

Interesting that your sister reacted to mild ivf with the diagnostic tool too nelly. Although I'd guess you need a few eggs to know how the lot was doing (you could just have 1 or 2 duff ones of 1 or 2 brilliant ones).

GRRR at no funding at all in your area gin, and stop make me want to go and find baby bump pictures...

Best get on, been typing this for WAY too long!

Ah, so a quick check of fb before bed time... Trending article "royal baby bump spotted" sigh Let the media circus begin... ? Moi? Oh no I've been reading a chapter in the consolations of philosophy on frustration (very fitting) and it would seem that the great minds of Ancient Rome had the same thinking as Daddy Princess... Life is shit. Fortune is as selective as a hurricane. Expect the unexpected. I love the stoics.

Welcome locus I felt fobbed off by doctors in the earlier days of TTC but I had not been trying for very long and took a year off. At the grand age of 30 I'm still considered young and doctors have been cordial. They shouldn't fob you off esp as you have been trying so long. FX for your appts and hope your stay here is short and sweet :)

Welcome floating. The gp should take you seriously, young or not its still been a while without any sucess. They should do the usual blood tests and then refer you.
The stress is awful. I know I have put a lot on hold thinking I will be pregnant soon. I've even not drank for over a year now! Well no more I am starting again and getting on with my life

Hi all, can I join in? I've just come back to MN after some months away after the stress of TTC got to me- I think I'm finally ready to admit that we're going to need help with getting pregnant.

Short story is that we stopped using birth control in November 2009 and I'm still not pregnant. My cycle seems normal & we've managed sex at the right time almost every month over the past 2.5 years but still nothing. We had a talk and will see the GP next month, I'm a bit nervous they won't take us seriously as we're young (27 & 26.)

I really struggle with jealousy, one of my friends was pregnant with her first when we started trying and will be having her second in a month :( It just seems like it will never happen for us.

Like others I am really struggling to keep up with the thread!

Good to have you back mrsden glad you got to meet some of the fellow Normals! Sorry about your insensitive aunt though. Grrr. So who is organising the northern (southern) meet then?

I am sorry so many of you are feeling Meh, I am concerned I brought the thread down by saying I couldn't imagine being pregnant. We definitely go in cycles - and not just the monthly ones. I can go a few months feeling ok, and others really get to me. Oh, I forgot about a surprise pregnancy announcement when I was on holiday. Yay.

Re the IVF being a diagnostic, I emailed my sister to ask if she knew much about Natural/mild and she didn't but went off to Google. She funnily enough said it would at least be diagnostic and give me an idea what quality of eggs I had, as they grade them. So like euro I take solace from the fact they might learn stuff when even if it doesn't work. I have booked us in for a clinic tour at the Edinburgh place on Monday so will ask about their protocols etc, and if they are only interested in doing nuclear IVF I will seriously consider London (you might have me crashing with you yet Joy, I hope you don't regret saying that ). Thing is logistically I have no idea how that would work as you are reliant on getting the timing just right, so will have to give it a lot more thought. Mr Nelly's view - 'oh good, we'd get a weekend in London'. .

I have also booked my first ever Woo - fertility Reflexology. I am such a sceptic but on the other hand I quite like having my feet massaged so I'm considering it a treat. However the appointment is a few weeks away yet as she's quite busy (I want an evening appointment and she doesn't do many). Will let you know how that goes after the event.

Gah. Started this hours ago. wanted to catch up with you all but then Mr Nelly came home, and I got distracted with a million things. May as well post now so sorry for not catching up with everyone! General waves and mwahs to you all

Hello. Pleased to hear I'm not the only one suffering from mehness!

Welcome back mrsd. Hope you had a great break despite the lectures. It was lovely to meet you the other week. And yes pregnancy dies seem totally alien.

joy there's no ivf funding in our area at all. It seriously pisses me off. We're both in professions we love, but that are v badly paid, so have no spare money for ivf. We borrowed money for our first go, are hoping mrgin's parents will fund the next and will do egg sharing to fund the third go! Re waiting times from first appointment to treatment, think it depends on the clinic. You could call reception and ask??

pout sorry about the row with your DH. This ttc shit puts so much pressure on us and I don't think men feel it in the same way. Hugs.

Hi wine. Pleased to hear your furry baby is on the mend. I think my furry baby is a similar kind of pet to yours and she's starting to get on a bit :( Had a v amusing dream last night in which we bought her a pair of trainers!!
I'm sure you will get back into the whole swi thing.

euro good luck with the down regging. Hope you are back home when you start?

princess pregnant wedding thing sounds rather vom inducing! Great to hear you now have a moving in plan!

artemis am ing at sperms on leads, like yappy dogs! Mrgin's would be oddly deformed, slow dogs

critter good luck with the shot and scan tomorrow.

Oh and for the record, I think k-middy is preggers! I now think its normal for people to shag for about 3 months after they get married and then be updiffed. Seems to be the way with our friends.. Ooo tell me more about royal ivf. Wonder where she went?

Down regging is normal in the uk, but I really don't understand the purpose, other than it means they can control when you start stimming and fit it into their timetable. My clinic generally doesn't down reg, which was one if the reasons I went there.

Sorry for a masshive post. Waves to everyone and skuttles off to look at pics of k-middy's babybump

Thanks lemon! I could just eat some cake. I've gone brown diet again. There doesn't appear to be much cake in it. cake not bumhole

thanks for the welcome back wave lemons.

I'm confused about the long / short protocol with ivf. My Dr seemed pretty insistent that I wouldn't do downregging because it's considered too much for the ovaries. But then it seems fairly standard to do downregging in the UK Or have I got that wrong? I'm going to add it to my ever growing list of things to ask him next time we see him. We have the genetics test next week, I'm feeling quite nervous about what it might throw up. I hate that we all have to go through so much to get what everyone else gets without effort. Oh well.

Just a quick wave and welcome back to mrsd and wine. Big hugs and cake for all the stress and mehness, and you can change back pout, I prefer it too!!

Cross post euro thinking of you with the down regging, do tell us all details. If it makes you feel better, my lap scar is hideous, like frankensteins head (exaggerate but similarities) I saw my friends yesterday and it is tiny! Jealous of your scratch Dave. I can only think they needed to do a bigger incision to look at my stupid non fibroid. Or I do have a very deep belly button, so maybe they couldn't cut into it. Hocus I'm sure yours will be lovely, please don't be alarmed! I do wish I'd told them I was very concerned about the scar beforehand though and to show me exactly what it would be like. I normally do bikram and my belly is bare. I dont really want everyone to see a lap scar, like some barren branding. My consultant also said it is 'not a good one'. maybe the cleaner did it!

I am now thinkng of all sorts of things I wanted to say, of course. It pains me to write my 'update' as it's stupidly long and complicated. Will try the abrided version.

wine 35 mr w 33.ttc #1 for 16 cycles. Him, 7% morphology, high count, high volume, 96% rapid motiltity so morphology deemed no problem. Me, ovulation fine, failed HSG oct11 due to tricky cervix. Failed lap and dye dec11 due to cervix and acute retroverted uterus, large fibroid found that had dragged womb backwards. Myomectomy may12 to remove said fibroid only to find it had gone by itself but finally found tubes patent, womb repositioned. Currently not trying due to healing, resume sorry affair alter in the summer. Oh and a borderline day5 fsh of 9.5 just to make things exciting, needs repeating.

And breathe.

Hello lovely people. I have been all busy with family and poorly pets. I have recent paranoia about being outed on here but some of you may recall my grumpy pet, well he gave me a scare but is still here for now, phew. My family goes back overseas next week, taking away my role as hands on auntie and it is making me feel very sad, it has plugged a gap having them around.

I probably won't get to name check everyone but i have been reading on my phone and have had lots of things to say, but you know how it is, the thread gets busy and then I get all lost.

I might come and sit in the meh corner. I watched my ovulation come and go this month which has felt surprisingly difficult and wasteful with new tubes. But I wasn't up for swi. My tummy is healing well and is now a nice pattern of green and yellow rather than purple. I still get tired easily and it aches of I stand up for too long but I feel much better. I think the spatone iron supplement has been really good and also I bought a very strong probiotic which seems (touch wood) to have really settled my stomach. But, as for ttc, well I feel totally out of touch with it. I agree that not trying is a blessed relief, no mentalling, no let downs. But I can't not try forever! I'm not feeling remotely excited about trying again, it just feels like setting myself up for failure again and not failing feels much nicer. Like, I'm not pregnant because k didn't have sex! Not because I've got old eggs or a crap womb etc.

critter bit late in the day but thank you for your poem. Funny but poignant and spot on in terms of feelings I've had.

princess god, a birds and bees wedding, I might be sick! If I wasn't a ttc bitter I'd probably think this was very sweet. I was horrified your consultant talked over you by the way. It also annoys me about the opks. They may not be fail proof but they are a fairly good indication. Someone, somewhere deemed that women find them stressful and the message has been widely circulated. My heavily pregnant registrar said I should try 'really hard' naturally for the next 6 months. When I tried to qualify what really hard actually meant, she frowned when I mentioned opks as of they were for sad, stressy losers. It's not little green pee sticks that stress me out and we are quite capable of shagging at the right time. It's not getting fucking pregnant that is the stressor! She then told me having children was very hard work. I wanted to throw my pee bag at her face. in fact, if one more person tells me that as if to make me feel better for my infertile ways, I will not be held responsible for my actions.

mrsden well you've enlightened me about prince edward and Sophie. I don't Kate is pregnant but whoever said the whole media frenzy would be ghastly echoed my thoughts exactly. I don't want her to be in the same boat as me. But I also don't want her pregnancy on every cover of every paper and magazine. Sorry about your nosey auntie.

sarlet I'm still up for a meet up and Leeds is good for me. How about later in July?

hocus hello and good luck tomorrow. It will be over before you know it. Agreed that the GA slows things down, weeing might feel a little strange and get some mint tea or cordial in for the gas which kind of settles in your diaphragm and shoulders. I was quite sore for about three days but nothing paracetamol didn't sort out and 10 days later not an ounce of pain or tiredness.

big loves to poutydave buzzy gin artemis and anyone else feeling a bit floppy tail feathered. Wave to the rest of the gang. One bfp so far on the thread and overall stats are slightly over the one a month, I reckon 1.5. The odds are building, come in lazy finger, we want a June bfp.

Hello to all! I'm travelling for work so don't have time for a proper name-checking catch up but wanted to say hi.

Thanks for all your thoughts about IVF. To whoever asked on the last page, I'm due to start downregging on Sunday/Monday. I still haven't properly got my head around it, but this is where we are.

Re: IVF as a diagnostic tool, I know I have certainly wished many times that a had a little camera "up there" to show me what is going on. I guess IVF is the nearest you can get to that. What happens when sperm meets egg? Do they fertilise? Do they grow? If the embryos are fab, do they implant? And so on.

I've thought since about our third month of trying that my problem is implantation. About one cycle in three I get some cramps around implantation time and then nothing. With tests on ovulation, sperm and tubes coming back as normal, IVF should confirm (or not) whether implantation is the issue. Or maybe it's crap egg quality. Or maybe the eggs fertilise but don't last so there is some quality issue on one side or the other. Thinking of IVF as a diagnostic tool rather than a way to make potential people is actually helpful for me (but I can see that it might not be for everyone).

I am jealous of everyone's normal lap and dye scars. I am still convinced that my consultant let his three year old sew up my belly button. It's the only explanation.

Pout I too was toying with my name this morning and I am now back to the old princesschick bok bok bok bokaar That feels better. I'm sorry that you had a row with Mr Pout yesterday, I find the 'don't compare our lifes to other peoples' very infuriating (I think it comes second place to 'chill out' chill out - still smarting!) Hormones are so difficult to control and can really throw things out of perspective. I am back to what I consider 'normal' me, the one that doesn't watch the other one throwing random and spiteful tantrums. However, I do think that there is always a truth in the wobble and the hormones just won't let it be suppressed. I'm sure Mr P is supportive but maybe he's just finding it stressful and to be dumped on by his mate makes him feel better that other people go through shit too in different ways? Maybe in a strange man way he was trying to make you feel better too? Like the grass isn't even greener (to which I think that I would just like to have a taste of the grass as it seems like all the fertile goats got there first and took my share with them). Maybe Mr Pout will bring you a sorry present or be more considerate to your feelings in the future. Big hugs for you. Sorry if I've spoken of turn. Just trying to make you feel better.

Artemis I'm sorry you're having a meh day too. Although I did have a sly at Mr A and his victory dance. Mr Princess was overcome (wrong word in this context) with a strange alpha male happiness when he got his results in a way I found quite offensive. Alpha male and metro man do not mix very well I can tell you. I've found my time off very very very very very very nice. I like it here. No mentalling over symptoms, no 2ww and I'm actually quite looking forward to getting back to it with a renewed zeal. Maybe a month off would be good? I'm sure the woo lady isn't losing hope rather just saying that maybe some magical woo energies can be built up and you can let your mind be free... or some other soothing woo words which I find confusing.

No meditation at lunchtime I took the opportunity to clean the flat instead. I'm planning to do it after work and before dinner with one of my besties who is on the cusp of a break-up so I get to do patronising married agony aunt routine tonight... "no, no you will find someone, look at me, I was hopeless and sad and had thought all men were bastards and then Mr Princess whisked me off my feet and we lived happily ever after" I rather like being smug about one aspect of my life. Obvs sad that she is breaking up because I love her very much and don't want her to go through rubbishness. But it does make me feel lucky for what I have it's just a baby would make the fairytale complete and princess's don't like having to wait

Oh and I forgot to mention I'm off to another themed wedding in a few weeks. Yawn. Not fancy dress but they would like us to join in with their 'birds and bees' theme because the bride will be sigh 5 months pregnant. They got legally married in May and had a tiny ceremony and they are having their 'proper' ceremony with friends and family over a weekend of camping. Oh and it's the friend whose bash in London I had to leave in floods of tears because of THAT announcement with the picture in the bedroom. I'm not looking forward to it one bit. We've decided that we will do the main day and that's it because we have our schedule to follow and we don't have the luxury of time. Phew.

Hello. I was planning on doing a mammoth name check seeing as there has been lots of chat but all the posts are on the other page and I haven't worked out how to flip back and forth (too frightened of losing my post - which have a tendency to randomly disappear anyway)

Anyway, I too am having a "it will never happen to me" wobble. I was fine, and dare I say it quite chilled about everything, until yesterday when the reality hit that I will almost certainly be getting my period in a week or so because that is what always happens. I was already feeling like that, but like you said gin it was more meh than rah and then DH came home after having had a drink with his old uni friend who was down for the night. His friend was apparently moaning about work, having no money and his wife not being able to go back to work fulltime after her maternity leave and I just flipped. I got this amazing sense of unfairness and why couldn't me and DH be the "normal" ones. This whole thing wasn't helped by DH basically ignoring my self pity angst and telling me how he didn't care about other people and I shouldn't compare our life to theirs Anyway upshot is we had a row and I accused him of making TTC 10 times worse because he is so emotionally unsupportive

I blame my outburst in part at least on reading some of the 2ww threads on here (stupid, stupid, stupid) and sensing other peoples excitement at symptom spotting and the belief that it really could be their month. I just don't have those feelings and feel a bit cheated I guess. Anyway sympathy & hugs to all you ladies who are feeling down too. X

Also wanted to say welcome back to mrsd, I wondered where you were. I'm so appalled that you were lectured by your Aunt like that...it amazes me how people can't read between the very obvious lines and just mind vomit insensitive crap.
BTW I prefer pout too and am contemplating changing back. I can't keep up with all the name changes [old addled brain smiley]!
Please God no at Kate & puffy cheeks & potential upduffedness. I will have to put in place a total TV ban if that happens!

hocus welcome and good luck for your lap and dye. I had one at the beginning of May and it was so much easier than I had feared with very, very little pain & two tiny little incisions that already look like a tiny scratch. I would just advise that you buy in some laxatives (the GA made me very constipated!) and be prepared that you might have trouble weeing for a day or two (that scared me to death until wine reassured me it was normal!)

Sorry for selfish post and big waves to everyone.

Hi everyone

I'll join in with the 'meh' today... MrsDen and Gin I can't imagine getting pregnant either. Though having said that, like Princess I have on occasion caught myself rehearsing the 12 week announcement and thinking about what a lovely time i would have on maternity leave. What a strange kind of doublethink. I need some mindbleach to wash these dirty thoughts away. Speaking of dirty thoughts, Critter a massive and snork at the R Kelly comment... hope all goes well tomorrow and you get some insight into what's going on in your pants

Princess well done on your renovation planning, sounds like it's going really well. An anniversary diff would be perfect... MrA maintained a calm appearance during the appt but I think he was doing a little victory dance inside. I imagine him leaping about like a Crufts winner but with little wriggly sperms on the end of the lead instead of little yappy dogs. Yes i was unimpressed by the 'diagnostic tool' thing. I think what he was driving at is that IVF can help them understand what the problem is at a much greater level of detail so that treatment on subsequent cycles would be adjusted accordingly. He said he would expect it to need more than one cycle. We can't go on the waiting list until I have had the hsg and completed 6 months of clomid - a month later than I hoped as I can't take clomid in the month I have the hsg. I'm hoping I can have the hsg next cycle because I'll be away at a conference during ov week anyway. It might do me good to have a month off - a month of no mentalling, that would be strange indeed. My acu lady has told me to take some time off from that too. You know you're in trouble when even the woo people start to lose faith

Joycep like you we are only entitled to one cycle of IVF on the NHS. I would need to pay for the other two. Because the waiting list for NHS treatment is about 10 months my thinking is we should pay for a cycle while we are on the waiting list so that we get a head start. I could probably afford a third after the NHS one, but I think that would be my limit both emotionally and financially and I'll be well past 40 by then as well (eek). It's like an IVF sandwich with the NHS funded cycle in the middle. Here they will fund one cycle plus up to 4 subsequent goes using frozen embies from the first cycle, but he said that only about 25% of people actually get embies good enough to freeze so we couldn't rely on that. Plus the cutoff age is 39 at the time of treatment.

Hocus I'm glad you're getting the gold standard investigation. at the ex boyf but AFAIK infections don't generally cause problems if they're caught early. Fingers crossed.

Carrie I'm sorry you're feeling down today. I was very emotional and headachy on clomid, especially the first few cycles, I think your emotional state as well as the headache may owe something to its effect on your hormones. How are you feeling otherwise - are you getting the ovarian pain? Sounds like a good plan to book a GP appointment in advance. The rules on rationing of treatment do feel particularly cruel when only one of you already has children.

Waves to everyone and hope you're all feeling OK

We are not entitled to IVF due to the fact I have a DD from a previous. No consideration is given to the fact that my partner doesn't have a child of his own. Yes he helps with DD but she has a dad who is very involved. She's the lucky one I guess.
Total emotional breakdown at work, didn't help I started the day with an awful headache which is not normal for me so guess another side effect of the clomid. Sorry I am being misrable but knowing that was our last chance before IVF which we can't have has left me very lost. A full month to wait to see if a miracle has happened and they can do something else otherwise we will have to try to come to terms with it all being over for us

lemon - what is the pre-op intake?
artemis - never quite understood how ivf is a diagnostic tool. Do people actually go through ivf and then find out what is wrong ..? I?m sorry you are feeling very unsettled about ivf. It?s difficult to get one?s head around. It?s great you can get 3 goes on the nhs then. I think we can only get 1. Is there anyone on here who is in an area that doesn?t offer anything? Apparently the Epsom area gives no funding.
hocus - i totally understand when you say you feel angry about having these procedures when most people don?t need them. I have this habit of thinking about my pregnant friends whilst I?m having my monitoring scans. I just think they don?t know how lucky they are to just get pregnant , go for exciting scans and give birth. Anyway, you?ll be fine with the Lap. Let us know how it goes.
gin sorry for the pregnancy announcement. Mrjoy tells me that we have to just get use to the announcements which i find incredibly unhelpful because I can?t really get use to them. Every one of them stings.
buzzy - sorry you are feeling like this . it?s so crap and frustrating when our bodies don?t play ball.
critter - i don?t think i have ever met an unassertive American. My cousins and SiL are American and they would never take bullshit. I have been told to go on an assertiveness course many a time but never have. It?s times like this that I wish i had. I know from friends that it?s those who always throw their toys out of their prams and those that kick up a fuss will get heard and seen to quicker. I just don?t have the balls to do it !
mrsd - welcome back, I was wondering how you were getting on. It was so lovely to meet you and I agree at how nervous I felt going but the nerves didn?t last long. We were all very tame really and just had dinner and left. I?m sorry about your unhelpful aunt. I guess as a midwife she only sees people giving birth and doesn?t hear people?s back stories. But I still would have thought a midwife would be sensitive towards the topic. I find it depressing thinking about middy and the possibility she is baking a bun. The media frenzy will be ghastly. However, on the flip side i wouldn?t wish her to have problems because it?s bad enough being a nobody and not being able to conceive...could you imagine the pressure? I can?t believe they haven?t not been trying up to now anyway. And yes as far as i am aware Sophie is one of the few people in the Royal family to have had problems. She did have ivf.
princess - you must be looking forward to your anniversary trip. That sounds fun.

I?m going in to my clinic at lunch to postpone my ivf consultation. I think I?m going to put it in the diary for October. I?m working on the basis that i will get a Lap and if that takes several months to book in then I will need some time to recover I guess. It?s still not that far away.

For those who have done ivf ? what sort of time period would i be looking at if I had my first consultation in October...would i get in a cycle before Christmas?

Morning all,

Nice to see you back MrsD. Sorry to hear about the insensitive aunt comments like that are really not very helpful when you are trying your absolute best. Oh and K-Middy, I think she is too, I reckon the announcement will come in August / September time. Everyone will want to have a baby and whatever the name of the royal addition is called will be being screamed across parks and down high streets across the land in a couple of years' time. I've got my money on Elizabeth (maybe daringly Diana??!!) or Philip because, yes, they really are that original.

Critter and big snort at the R Kelly mention. Maybe we could add a TTC chapter to his hip-hop-era? Actually I think that someone called Bridget got pregnant by a midget in it... he is a bizarre man. I've got my fingers firmly crossed for your shot and scan tomorrow. Let's hope that an egg is making it's appearance. Sending you good luck and love vibes across the Atlantic!

Gin Sorry it's feeling unattainable and particularly sorry for the announcement. I have been somewhat sheltered from the announcements recently. No doubt they'll be a whole new batch soon. You've had a really rough ride and it must seem like a long time until Sept / October. But it will fly and you never know what luck you might have before then. I hate the meh place, the sad place, the manic positive happy place, in fact I hate the whole TTC place. I'll join in with the meh chorus too.

Hocus your consultant sounds switched on and it's great that you're getting a 'gold standard' service. Impressive! at the ex boyf I hope that doesn't have anything to do with your problems.

Carrie well done for getting in touch to say that you are not happy and the pre-emptive appointment. I think you just have to learn the ways of the system for it to work for you. I hope that this round isn't as painful as the last. As Artemis said, you MUST be monitored if this is putting your health at risk.

Joycep how annoying that they got your results wrong and have to start again. However, at least you might get them to acknowledge when you ovulate based on your own knowledge unlike last time when they told you you were wrong.Fingers crossed for successful cycle monitoring this time. Have you delayed the IVF appointment?

Artemis glad that MrA's sperms got top marks at Aquatic Crufts. Did they give him a rosette? But pardon, what, diagnostic tool? IVF is not a diagnostic tool, surely? Yes I can certainly see that it will tell them certain things such as the crackability of the eggs (oh bit Wallace & Gromit) so in that respect I can see where he's coming from. Yet it seems like such a ridiculous comment. Just seems absurd to me. Have they put you on the waiting list or do you have to wait for the Clomid and the HSG stuff to have been discounted because we don't plan for failure ? Incidentally, I would argue that they do, given that I've been told to chill out and that it will happen later this year yet I'm having my blood tested and he's booked in another appointment clearly because he thinks there's something wrong with me - otherwise, why would they have booked the appointment. If there is nothing wrong with my blood I'm in the unexplained camp too. Grrrr to them all. I can't answer your temp question because I have only just started, however, my temp went up significantly 3 days after my positive OPK last month (the temps I had at OPK time were wrong because I wasn't taking my temp correctly).

Well in Princess news, the plasterer starts next Wednesday and I have put in place a proper schedule, which finishes the weekend before our anniversary trip away in July. That means we should be able to move into a newly decorated pad apres le mini break. We're not going abroad just to our fave place in the UK for a couple of nights - can't wait, 2.5 hours of spa treatments for 2 booked up - for newbies Mr Princess is very metro and loves a facial. If I can come back from the break to a finished house I will be very happy. I also had a letter to confirm my next appointment on 17/09, impressed that I got it 2 days after the first appointment. But also buggers up the holiday plans, as I only had a week and a bit in-between other family events and the appt is smack bang in the middle. Still, I think trying to book a holiday for September is too ambitious with the house stuff and possible move requiring days off. We don't have a date but I am anticipating August, however this could easily roll into September, which is a busy month for us already (a big 50th and 21st - taking up 3 weekends - in the nicest possible way!). I don't want to start moving my appointments as it's at the same time as the last one, which makes me think I may get to see the Consultant again, early on a Monday morning although secretly hoping that I will upduffed by then My temp chart is looking much more normal than the ones I did last year. I had temp rise after the OPK last month, and temp drop on day of period and continuing to drop into new cycle. This must mean that there is some semblance of normality and that my levels are ok-ish?! Oh and another behind the hand not helped by the good chart I'm not doing very well at the mindfulness stuff and found myself planning, yes, planning my future 12 wk pregnancy announcement that will happen in October in the shower this morning Must try harder to move these thoughts along and go "hmmn what an interesting thought brain. Next!". Like I'm going to get pregnant after attempt 1 post diet regime in July romantically at my favourite hotel on our wedding anniversary, which happens to be the predicted ov day on FF God damn you evil spirits of TTC madness! Be smited back to Mothercare and pick on the fertile ones...

Waves to everyone else, is Beryl out there lurking and where has wine gone?! Right onwards with the day.... hopefully I can move along the mentalling with some meditation technique at lunchtime....