OLDER MUMS

Motherinferior - arf! Yes, it is all a bit previous but it's my age that decided it. At least being pregnant disguises the massive amounts of flab on my tummy! I also feel very lucky being pregnant and my age (and again) because I have polycystic ovaries and was told many years ago I may never have kids. We were about to start Clomid when I fell pregnant naturally with my son (sure it was because the pressure was off) and it was 2nd time of trying with this pregnancy.

One day we may get back to having sex just for the sake of it. Think I've forgotten what it's like...

Wow, bluecow, you're really going for it aren't you!

Glad to have read that zebra, my mum's mum had her last at 47. And she had twins.

Sorry, Eulalia, I think you're slightly mistaken. The tendency to have identical twins can be inherited, because the ability to tolerate the higher levels of pregnancy hormones is believed to be inherited. This is why the hospital got very excited when I told them I was directly related to 3 sets of identical twins... Plus there was a New Scientist article not long back about an extended family of many sets of identical male twins, and it was believed that there was actually a tendency to have twins going down the male line.

The only other "factoid" I know relevant to this thread is that maternal fertility is strongly inherited; so if your Mum or her Mum had children late in life, odds are that you will find it easy to conceive late in life, too.

Had my son in October last year just before my 40th birthday and am epecting baby number 2 in April when I will be 40 and a half!! We only had the nuchal fold test both times and actually the risks were lower with this baby than the first.

My midwife said last time the risks for older mums are much exaggerated.

Merlin - I hope you'll be re-assured and go for it.

Sorry that was a bit long.

My grandmother had my mum at age 36, my mum had me (& twin) at age 36 and I had dd at age 36! Also dd and my great grandmother share the same birthday.

Thank you, Eulalia!

It is only non-identical twins who run in families. Identical twins just happen by chance and can happen to anyone. You are more likely to have twins if you are older and in subsequent pregnancies.

hereis more info -

Incidence of Twins by Twin Type
The rate of identical twins is constant at approximately four per thousand. It is remarkable that the incidence of identical twins remains the same no matter where a person lives, and it has remained the same throughout history. The rate of fraternal twins, on the other hand, can change depending on where a person lives, the mother's age, etc. Fraternals account for the differences in the twin rate, the fraternal rate being approximately 22.8 per thousand in the world.
Any given mother would have a better chance of having fraternal twins, as there are two thirds more fraternal or dizygotic twins than identical or monozygotic twins. However, your own chance of having twins depends on your personal history, age, race, and many other factors.
Factors Affecting the Twinning Rate
Only fraternal twins tend to run in families. Identical twins happen by "chance" and can happen to anyone, regardless of whether there are twins in the family or not.
Many people believe that twins "skip a generation." Twinning is passed on as a genetic trait and appears in the women only. If you are a female and your mother had fraternal twins, you would have an increased chance of having fraternal twins yourself. Your brothers would not have an increased chance of having fraternal twins themselves, but they may pass the genetic trait on to their daughters who would then have an increased chance of having twins. This makes it appear that twins skip a generation.
For women, twins running in your husband's family appear to have no effect on your chances of conceiving twins. However, this is still being studied. But many physical and environmental factors having nothing to do with heredity can trigger a twin pregnancy. You could still have twins, but they likely would not be caused by any trait in your husband's family.
It is well known that fertility treatments can cause multiple births. This affects only the rate of fraternal or dizygotic twins. These methods use many different types of drugs and treatments. Most of them rely on stimulating ovulation with hormones or, more recently, inserting fertilized eggs into the mother. Fertility treatments are not thought to cause identical or monozygotic twins.
There are also many other factors that increase the rate of fraternal births. They include social habits, maternal age, number of pregnancies, geographic location, seasons, and nutrition.
The incidence of fraternal twins varies by race. Africans have a higher rate, about 16 per thousand, and Asians have the lowest rate, about three per thousand. The rate in Caucasians is about eight per thousand. In the United States the Hispanic twinning rate (20.1 per 1,000) is substantially lower than the rate of non-Hispanic whites (31.5 per 1,000) and that of non-Hispanic blacks (32.1 per 1,000). A well-known tribe in Africa called the Yorubas has the highest twinning rate in the world, one in 22. This increase is due to fraternal twinning, as their rate of identicals is the same as the rest of the world. Their diet consists of large amounts of a particular species of yam (Dioscorea rotundata). This yam contains a high level of a substance similar to the hormone estrogen, which is thought to bring on multiple ovulation.
The older one is, the higher one's chance of having fraternal twins. The twinning rate is doubled for ages 35 to 40 and then decreases again, probably due to a decrease in fertility as one ages. The rate increases again for the age group 45 to 49 years. Older women are having multiples at an increasingly high rate. Since 1990, the twin birth rate has risen 80 percent among women 40-44 years of age (from 24.7 to 44.5 per 1,000) and almost 600 percent among women aged 45-49 compared to only a six percent rise for women under age 20. There were more twins born to women ages 45 to 49 in 1997 than during the entire decade of the 1980s. This, however, accounts for only five tenths of one percent of all twins born, reflecting the relatively fewer births in older women. In other words, you are less likely to give birth over the age of 45. But if you do, there is a 33 percent chance that it will be a multiple birth.
Being well nourished increases the chance of twinning, but the rates drop off with malnutrition. Certain social habits, such as eating certain yams grown in Africa, can increase your chances of twinning. The more pregnancies you have had, the greater are your chances of having fraternal twins. By your fourth or fifth pregnancy, your chance of having twins is four times higher than for your first pregnancy.
Geographically, rates of fraternal twins are greater in northern areas than in those farther south. Also, different races and countries have varied rates of twinning. In the United States, Massachusetts and Connecticut reported the highest proportion of twins, 25 percent higher than the U.S. rate, while Nebraska and New Jersey had twice the national level of triplet and higher births.
The most fraternal twins are conceived in July, the fewest in January. This is thought to be due to the effect of the length of daylight on the secretion of Follicle Stimulating Hormone.

Merlin - goodness! - that's something to consider then. A neighbour who is an identical twin herself, and whose DH is also a twin, is expecting twins but I can never quite get straight which kind is hereditary and if it can pass from the man...my uncle by marriage is an identical but he had no twins himself and his children haven't either.

Sad about the lost twin. Does she talk about it much/at all? That generation generally seems to find it hard.

The person who raised the issue of my age is my MIL, who went on about it rather when I was pregnant ('oh no, not a home birth'/'oh yes, of course you'd be thinking about tests' and still goes on about how brave I am (I think she means genuinely to be nice but it does upset me). Oh, and dp started getting his knickers twisted when I wanted a home birth. I ignored both of them and had dd2 in our front room.

We haven't heard from sarah46 yet - Merlin, she is 46 and has 16-month-old triplets!!! (Do a search on her name and you will read some of her experiences)

I used to have a boyfriend who was born when his mother was 48. He had two older brothers, one a year older and the other two years older. So his mother had had her first baby at 45 and by the age of 48 had three children under 3. She always seemed fit and well when I knew her, if a little knackered. I take my hat off to her

I was 41 when dd (10 months) was born and my mother was 39 when I was born, so I can comment on this from two perspectives. As a mother - I had no problems in pregnancy and no significant problems since. DD is a joy and I feel so grateful to have got in under the wire. I do get very tired, but then most new parents do.

As a daughter - I always thought my mother was the NORMAL age for being a mother and that other children's mothers were ridiculously young. But that's how a child's mind works. I think I benefited from my mother's maturity and from the fact that she had a lot of experiences to share with me. The only downside is that your children may have to cope with a parent's dying, or being in need of a lot of support, when they are also dealing with their own children, and may feel a bit squeezed at both ends. I sometimes feel like this. There is also some sadness to knowing that my mother won't see dd grow to adulthood (though they get on wonderfully now).

If you want any reassurances on this subject try reading a book called "Birth begins at 40" by Corinne Sweet. It really is encouraging and will make you feel like a spring chicken!

Apparently, Madonna, age 45 is quite keen to have another. WE always forget about Leo Blair arriving when Cherie was 45, too.

Thanks Merlin...and thanks for starting the thread - it's GREAT to know that lots of us are still at it, especially in the light of the endless impertinent media commentary. I have NEVER encountered anything that made me feel a freak amongst friends, and the hospital and mw's were totally cool. None of the 1st time Mums in our ante-natal group were under 35, and several were 40.

Had my second at 40 but as first was old enough to have left home, still only had one to look after! I think having 2 or more to look after would be tiring in itself, more than how old you are. I had normal pregnancy, normal delivery.
Wow, Dvros, your friend had twins at 47! Now that does make me feel tired!

I have my first baby when I was 36 and my second when I was 42, and I agree with Marina's, a gap in age can be really helpful.

Both my pregnances were routine, I got pregnant without huge probs and did not feel noticeably more tired with a newborn the second time round.

I think you have too look at your life as a whole. It's not just age related of course. With a second baby you have to balance the demands of two children. Your job situation may have changed too. For instance during my first pregnancy, I was freelancing and had lots of days off. I had no child to look after so I could sleep whenever I wanted. Second time I had a 5 year old child and worked about 50 hours a week. Of course I felt more tired -I had less time to recover and rest. But even so, even being 5 years older, I really did not feel all that different.

If you are in good health and really want another baby go for it!
*

PS thanks - you know what for and who you are

I had my second baby at 43 (she's now 8 months old). I have a long term illness called Scleroderma so had lots of extra check ups and scans. Apart from worries connected directly with the illness itself and medication there were no problems at all. I did seem to get more tired during the pregnancy but I have got an 8 year old autistic boy to look after and I was working, even if only part-time. I did feel self conscious when I first told people and I do often refer to my age when talking to people in a jokey way. I've got a friend who had twins at 47 and she's fine.

My sister had a baby at 42. She had a straightforward pregnancy and both she and babe were fine.

Merlin, I'm sure I'm the most ancient Mum on MN, having had my first at 43 (42 when I conceived). I can honestly say that my age has simply not been a factor, had a brilliant pregnancy, birth was complicated by DS being OP, nothing at all to do with age, and the obstetrician commented that few people would still be pushing effectively after 28 hrs of labour, and by rights it should have been a CS. I am aware that until my mid-thirties I used to stay up all night for fun, and I am no longer capable of doing that and wonder if the lack-of-sleep tiredness is increased...but that's partly due to the fact that once you're a parent you can't spend Saturday and Sunday asleep.

40 is the new 30: Go for it, why on earth not? And get rid of all that rubbish that gets bandied about it being 'unnnatural': if you can conceive, it's natural!Good luck!

Did someone say my name?? Yes, that's right Aloha, I did't have any age-related problems, although suffered overwhelming sickness and tireness. But I also had it in my first pg 21 yrs previously!

As well as older mums here, there are lots of 'celeb' older mums. Patricia Hodge the actress, had her first baby at 45, I believe, Jerry Hall was in her 40's, Cherie Blair, of course; Juliet Stephenson and Emma Thomson, all off the top of my head.

If it's what you want, go for it, Merlin!