Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake

missc when i had a urine infection a couple of months ago my gp wrote to me to tell me i had the wrong anti biotics. got the letter about 10 days after they had seen me - sometimes the nhs are dickheads!

ring the midwife/doctor/consultant - basically anyone who can put your mind at ease.

i have heard you can get swlooen fanjo from all the extra blood pumping around.

I second MarthasHarbour - I kept thinking I was fine and I did stupid things like flip my mattress and get loads of shopping then wonder why I felt so awful. Sit down!

Sorry for AF, MH.

Metalling emergency. Just had a letter from the hospital to say I have a urine infection and I have to see my doctor.

Erm whut.

A letter? About a sample taken two weeks ago?!

Tell me it'll be OK and the swollen fanjo isn't some terrible symptom meaning I've developed something raging that's going to take my little kicker away :(:(

Gaaah still waiting here!
Bleeding heavier today, odd niggle, but nothing like previous mcs.
Maybe this one is failing slowly and gently rather than full on. This way is kinder physically i have to say.

I can clean and stuff!

"trying to be detached but actually being hopelessly attached"

Oh this, definitely. I'm only 7.5 weeks and already have part of my head going "this one's going to work ... when the baby comes ... " etc., and then another part of my head going "STOP BEING SO OPTIMISTIC IT COULD ALL GO WRONG"

When I had an infection (which came on about three weeks later), I just had almost orangey discharge - like there was a little bit of blood in it? I also had a lot of it.

Today I mostly don't feel sick. Which is now worrying me as I spent last week feeling dreadful. My boobs still hurt when I poke them though

I have a scan tomorrow and Wednesday. I'm scared.

congrats mumstum!

pebs after my erpc the spotting seemed to go on, and on, and on. It did piss off after an acupuncture session though. I don't know if it had run it's course and would have anyway but worth a try. I know how much it gets you down, you just want to move on and be normal again without stupid bleeding reminding you everytime you go to the loo.

i'm back!

i wish this brown spotting would piss off. it's really annoying me as i just want to get back to normal.

i might try taking the bvits and see if that helps to get my cycle sorted. i could also book in for accupuncture to try and sort it out.

could bvits help manda?

cake i really wouldn't worry about what your colleague said. i know it's hard as you will be thinking she has predicted something. surely people can't predict things though - i find it hard to believe.

saying that, years ago my now MIL told me she could read palms (her friend at work had shown her). she said i would have three children and then asked me if i had ever an abortion - and didn't really believe me when i said no . it has stuck in my mind and i do wonder if she did see something. my dh has mentioned it recently as well. i don't believe it but you can't help but wonder even though i know it's probably mumbo jumbo.

i bet my mil wouldn't even remember the incident. i have never seen her read a palm since anyway!

Congratulations mumtum A honeymoon baby - perfect :)

peb I was still testing +ive 3 weeks after my erpc, and my brown spotting came and went on for what seemed like ages. Good to get a check up though, hope it goes ok.

Blimey Mumtum welcome back and go get that digi.....

MissC sorry can't help with the fanjo metalling. Strokes for the other metalling which I know only too well myself x

Peps good to get checked out just to check no infection although my experience they bleed quite a lot but better be safe than sorry. Good luck.

i think i jumped the gun a bit by thinking the bleeding had stopped. i am now getting the brown spotting i had before/during the last pg. i am also still testing + and it's been more than three weeks since erpc.

i rang epu and i am going on thursday for an appointment to see if everything is ok.

have to go am at work!

I need to go back in the thread and figure out when I wrote the same things about trying to be detached but actually being hopelessly attached and not being able to bear losing it now - all the things everyone is writing now. Was it about 15 weeks or was it earlier. Anyway suffice to say I get it, I've been there, I know what you mean. It's very very hard not to feel safe.

I'm still at the everyone thinks I'm getting chubby stage and not at the bump stage. I seemed to get something a few weeks ago but it went away. I just look thick round the middle, gone from hourglass to treetrunk I still fit in all my normal clothes but the baby doesn't like waistbands, they are comfy enough for me until it starts kicking them and then it's a bit like getting pinched round the middle. So I am mostly wearing stretchier pants if I can. So I haven't had to worry about the bump announcing it to the world thing yet, instead I get to metal about not having one. I also metal about the baby kicks. Can I feel it kicking so hard because it hasn't got enough water to cushion it. Do I not have a bump because I'm not full of water like everyone else. My friend is three weeks further on, has a BIG bump and is not feeling regular kicks, I can see mine squirming round under my skin and sticking out a hand or foot.

I'd also like to seek some TMI advice about what I can only discribe as an uncomfortable fanjo. I feel swollen on the outside and right the way inside Not painful just not comfy and makes it feel like there's (eurgh) something in there (although there isn't, I think it just feels that way as it's swollen) Can anyone ease my metalling about that? 2 weeks until next dildocam experience.

Good Morning ladies

Places fresh fruit platter , orange juice and pancakes and maple syrup on the table for brekkie.....

where do i start ???
well firstly congrats on the good news and scans etc for tiago tits and midget all going smoothly and i hope it still is for you ladies

mrsn Hope you are ok this morning and the drugs are still working im so sorry for you and hope later you knwe are all here for hugs support and when you feel ready

cake the dream thing is tricky, Im a belivier in fate and feel that although not always clear why, things do happen for a reason, as for dreams , these are so open to interpretation i much prefer to think of moomins suggestions that its all our lost angels playing together

martha my cycle buddy... Any news yet have kept away from the sticks or have you caved ????

jaffa My last mc i felt the same worries and fears looking to find a place to lay the blame like sleeping on belly; drinking coffee;being tired;wearing too tight jeans on the waist; coughing to harshly etc etc but realistically i know these wouldnt have had this effect, its just the awful way our minds try to look for reasons

welcome to any newbies, sorry you have found yourselves here but you are in great company for support

I know i have missed so many others but scrolling on my phone is a nightmare so please forgive me... I hope everyones day is off to a good start ....

As for me , Well thank you for all your congrats and good wishes, The wedding and honeymoon was utterly fabulous so i guess im now officially mrsmumtumwanted ( feels odd though people calling me Mrs keep thinking they are talking about the DHs mother !!!)I would totally recommmend Barbados as a wedding / honeymoon / holiday destination largely still unspoilt and in most places not over commercialised it really is beautiful and contrary to our understanding we felt very safe walking around out of resort both day and night....

and my cycle.... well as you may recall , i do have a rather serious addition to POAS be they OV or PG sticks, so i decided not to take any with me at all which considering i was away 3 weeks is a massive issue for me ( realistically i would have been mortified had my bag been rummaged by customs so i didnt really have much choice !) my last af was 19th March and im a 25 dayer which meant i was due 13th april... so i tested and ...... and got a SFP ( small feint positive) I am utterly astounded as we landed about 6am, got collected from the airport came home and fell asleep exhausted after travelling for 10 hours and the 5 hour time difference I had no idea if this was FMU so hope realsitically it wasnt and this was why it was only feint..... i do realise that due to my short cycle i do get + tests very early so im off out to buy a cb digi today to double check...Specialy after the 2 chempical pregs ive had over the last 12 months too cant say i can really belive it yet..... Im still alittle amazed really as i really didnt think i was as id had period type pains for a couple of days and sore norks just like last month ! Needless to say im also now mentalling like a good un as i didnt exactly take care on honeymoon... ( cocktails , champagne, shellfish, Nurofen for the hangover ! insect repellent to keep away the mozzies [hmmm] the list could go on...) but im trying to look at it that if i still managed to fall whilst being so reckless hopefully this one is a strong sticky one ????

really must get on now sorry for the take over post ! Have a good day all.....

mrsN hope you are doing ok, thinking of you.

Jaffa that is exactly how I feel. Having managed to pretend I'm not pregnant for the past few weeks, inspite of the morning sickness, I am now finding myself thinking ahead and actually imagining a baby at the end of this - of course, I stop those thoughts immediately, but the thought of loosing it now is terrifying. My 12 scan is in 2 weeks and I'm am absolutely dreading it, but counting down the days at the same time.

MrsN if I took solphodol I probably would have ended slow cooking myself. Got a big stash of them here for my back. Took 2 the first time and had to actually crawl into bed before I spun out and slept for 5 hours. They be hardcore!

Tits no matter how much you want to be pregnant the bloaty stage sucks. But the bump stage is lovely. x

Your Ham sounded lovely mrsn

I am dreading college today, the ms has got worse and I feel so frumpy, no one knows so of course everyone's going to be thinking how chubby I've got recently :(

Silly how much you want something and still do but that it can make you so down and depressed at the same time.

Another false start last night, small grumblings and not allot of bleeding today.

The drugs do work, blissfull spaced out texting my friend last night telling her i bloody love her because she supplied me with the solpadol! Nutter.

Got a huge ham in the slow cooker to look forward to for tea...yumyumyumyum ...well its the small things that brighten my day these days!

Lets see what today brings..........

Cake I agree with Moomin. Dreams are hard to interpret and it is impossible to try and interpret someones dream from such little detail. If you really can't stop thinking about it I would speak to the lady at work to see what she actually meant. if she meant angel babies like you are interpretting it I am sure she would not have told you quite so casually. Easier said than done I know but the best thing to do is to forget about it but if you can't - then speak to her.

Jeez Jaffa - "It seems so real, and I suddenly realised today that I have emotionally reached the point where another mc would break me." I am with you there - did you come steal these words from my head? This feeling is what stops me relaxing. Stops me enjoying this pregnancy and connecting to the bean inside me. Which is now actually a baby. I know it is but even typing those words freaks the living shit out of me. My in laws here yestrday. They kept talking about it, stroking my belly and I just wanted to scream at them all to shut the fuck up. Tempting fate, counting chickens and all sorts of other mumbo jumbo that freaks me out. But loss now would break me. And when you dwell on that the metalling starts. I don't know the asnwer except taking each day at a time and the mantra - I am pregnant today. And knowing that we aren't alone as pretty much everyone on here knows what we mean.

martha sometimes you can't just smile and be all happy. Becasue some peoples pregnancies seem to hurt more than others. I never have understood why. Sometimes I am so chuffed when I hear and other times I can't bear to even see that person again. No rhyme nor reason but actually saying how you really feel sometimes is bloody good for you. Even if you do then choke on some tumbleweed. I have some RL friends who have had real problems conceiving. I am making sure that I am as sensitive as I can be about this pregnancy (without being patronising and treating them like fools). It is just common decency to put yourselves in someone elses shoes. If your friends know your history they should expect you to speak frankly!

MrsN thinking of you. rememeber the Verve lied - the drugs do work.

Heres to a metal free day. I have a mammoth day - out with DD then off to Wembley for the football. Rather stay in with a box of mini magums and catch up on the contents of the TIVO box.

I ordered a doppler today. Calming or a sure fire path to metaldom?

I beleve in it, I just think sometimes people don't understand how to interpret the dreams they have

Jaffa I've spent a lot of the last 6 months feeling like a useless preoccupied mother, tommy was only 6 months old when we lost Jacob and setimes I feel like I missed some of his first year because I was and still am caught up in my loss. Every body here is ttc precious babys, yet I have one who is only 13 months old now and the year has flown by and for half of that time I've been caught up in my grief.

I don't know what I'm trying to say, maybe just that it's hard, I'm sure your dd doesn't even realise you feel this way. I can't sleep because at night, when everyone else is in bed I'm thinking of Jacob, tommy doesn't sleep very well and I worry that I'm not ad engaged and patient with him as I should be because I'm not sleeping x

mrsN I am thinking of you. I hope you are managing to get through.

Martha, I have longed to have that conversation with a number of people but usually haven't been able to pluck up the courage. It is so difficult because there is almost a taboo about talking about mc, but I wish people were more aware of the many issues that surround it, the impact on people's lives. And how fucking lucky some people are. And part of their luck is not knowing it. The only person I ever managed to talk to properly in real life was a friend whose baby was born at 28 weeks and was poorly for months. She had her second child really close after, and she said she knew if she left it longer, the fear would make it impossible. It was just that she knew, for some, families don't come easily.

cake I am sorry you are worrying. I am not sure whether I believe in dreams, but I do know I have wondered about 1000 things that may have been connected to my mc, and my mind scans around trying to find something to pin the blame on. So far I battle with trying to dismiss the following: not being sufficiently pleased I was pregnant; 1 coffee a day; sex and orgasm; being angry; being tired; not getting my DD baptised; being thirsty; sleeping on my tummy; breastfeeding DD when pregnant; being premature myself..... I could think of more. And if someone had said to me what your colleague said to you, it would drive me bonkers. I have so much sympathy for you but please try not to let your mind go there if you can.

Well, as the hour shows, I am on a metal. [Strums a black chord.] I feel pregnant (still have little voice of doubt that my body might be tricking by behaving pregnant with a mmc again) but here it is. I have a bump. I can't get comfy in bed. It seems so real, and I suddenly realised today that I have emotionally reached the point where another mc would break me. Ihave also been worrying about the impact of my mental state on DD. Just feel like a useless preoccupied mum sometimes.

Thank you moomin, I love the way you looked at the situation. That makes me feel so much better. I'd love to think all our angels are beautiful & playing together or that I will go onto have more children. I do hope so & thank you for your thoughts & optimism. It means a lot x

mrsn hoping this time maybe the pain will be easier on you xx

cake I looked after a women in a nursing home who her daughter said was quite psychic she told me I'd have another boy a horrible mc which would take a long time to get over (I did mc but got pg straight after) have another boy (ds3) and then have a girl with lots of curly dark hair who we would wait along time for.

I think she got it mixed up and the mc that would take along time to get over was Jacob, after ds3.

Maybe the women you know could see all our angel baby's playing togeather, like we've found each other for support? Or maybe the angle baby's are all the beautiful children you will go on to have x

hmm odd.
Pain stopped last night and has not come back....dont worry i know its lurking!
Not a great deal of bleeding either.

Ive kept busy. Been posting "normal" stuff on mn, random stuff in no way connected with mc. It has made me feel better
Cleaning like a demon, house is sparkling