Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake

Jaffa manda I went from first pain to birth with my first (and only) in 2 hours 15 minutes, no-one ever got chance to stick their hands up there to get a measurement so no idea on that score, had her at home, MW turned up with 9 minutes to spare. Having said that no MW has seemed to care much since and noone's written rapid anything or anything about birth at all on my notes either time. Maybe they will think about it later. All they seem to care about is that she came out the traditional route at a regular time and decent weight without causing damage on the way out.

tits hope you are OK can you go and be checked out? Glad you don't have to go to London though.

Mrsn I'd also go and be checked out, I know you don't have any hope but until the fat lady sings and all that..

martha sorry about your friend, yes it's all about perspective but it doesn't mean 'lesser' worries are invalid or unreal, we all muddle along best we can.

enjoy your treat wrigle

great news on the scan midget

Jaffa With my first, I went from my first pain and 1cm dialated (was induced at the hospital so when I got my first pain they checked) to delivery in 5 hours 15 mins... my next two (including DS2, the 9lb 12ozer) were 1 hour 40 mins from first pain... so, yeah, it's quite possible you will be quick(ER) again!

tits Since DS2 (third pregnancy) I've had af cramping right up until 9 weeks. Don't know if it's a multi parity thing, or an age thing, but yeah, definite cramping going on for weeks. I'm hoping your symptoms (the faintness is likely low bp) mean it's still All Ok.

Congratulatory lick for midget, naturally. Good news, lovely.

mrsN Denial and delusion are different sides of the same coin. I have no doubt you're not gonna allow yourself to hope, even though to us as objective outsiders might think that your sore boobs (when you'd normally lose all symptoms) are something to be hopeful about. I really wish you'd try and get scqanned though - I do worry a little about you being in a caravan IF the worst begins

Can't remember what was said on previous pages now and haven't got time to re-read (from this morning) nor say any other stuff I intended to earlier. DF should be in shortly with my take away (lamp chops from a 'med takeaway' (kinda like a kebab shop really!)) and we are gonna watch Mickey Flanagan - so I'm hoping for one of those belly aching laughs!

I just had a negative pregnancy test, rediculous thing to be excited about, but it means I can join the "ttc and axious" part of this thread properly, finally, and without any medical help to finish MC so I am celebrating big time (um, on my own with a glass of wine and nothing on tv, woohoo).

Titsalinabumsquash, just thinking about your dizzy spells, should you get an appointment to make sure you're ok?

Uh oh af cramps started
We shall see.

A belly aching laughter is so wonderful. A week after my MC we went on a walk with some friends who didn't know we were trying, pregnant and MC'd, I didn't want to go but was depressed and thought it would be good for me. We were a rediculous group since out of the 5 of us 3 seemed depressed, anyway, we headed out for our walk but it started by going up a narrow "alley" (I don't know terms for nature!) which, even though it had been sunny for a week, was for some reason a veritable stream. It meant that we had to walk in single file legs stretched faaaarrrr apart and inch our way up the mini river bed. 3 of our group were ahead of me, every time I looked up I saw this rediculously serious sight I broke into proper fits of laughter and we'd all have to stop and laugh for a bit! It seemed like such a strange thing to be doing a week after a MC!

MC started two weeks ago tonight, and tonight is my first night to myself. I'm getting Chinese and a large glass of self congratulatory wine.

Id be lying to myself if i said that this is different.

I have been howling with laughter at the shitting on my skirt thread..what a tonic, my stomach now aches from laughing not from babyrelated stuff

I have had my booking appointment with my midwife. She was very nice. Just going through the sorry tale with someone seems strange.

What was sort of nice was the bit when we talked about DD delivery. I had almost forgotten I did it all normally once before. She is already worrying about my quick delivery record. My notes say 'RAPID' in number of places. DD went from 4-10 cm in 2 hrs, and was born 1hr later. What is strange and kind of lovely in a way is she thinks it is relevant, like it will happen again. Hope she is right.

Great news for you midge.

MrsNesbitt, could it be possible that this is different? I hope so much foryou that it is, but completely understand the way you are thinking. I wish thing could be different for you.

Just got the call to say DS's hospital visit has been cancelled! I get to spend Easter holidays with my family! :)

On another note, I am getting major dizzy, fainty spells, is this a BP thing or an iron thing?

mrsn so sorry you're having a low day, I hope you get some confirmation of something soon and closure to regroup and recover.

Great news about the scan midge :D

Mrsnesbit... absolutely.

Fantastic news on your scan Midgetm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swing between utter utter desperation to dogged acceptance minute by minute at the moment.

Each time i go to the loo i feel desperately sad.
Each twinge i get litterally makes me want to vomit with grief.
Each time i become aware of my boobs, my stomach sinks if at that very moment they do not feel sore.

I want to go for an early scan, but i know what it will show, what it always shows, an empty sac, bloods will come back with low hcg.

It makes sense to just wait and accept whatever comes.

BUT i dont want to. I want to see a baby there, i want to see a heart beat there, i want to have fantastic blood results, i want to feel sick as a dog, i want the bleeding to stop, i want to be able to tell every one "we are having a baby" i want to feel excited and extatically happy, i want to be able to plan and look at babygrows, i want to get the pram out of the loft, i want to mark on my calender each week as they go by, i want to see a midwife like normal people do, to worry about my blood pressure, to worry about childcare and work,
I dont want to feel robbed and useless, and empty anymore.

Im down today, very low. Huge cuddles with my little boy help and lifts the world for me.

fuckingcuntingshittingfuckergodamtwattingfucking miscarriages. They can all fuck the fuck off.

Phone posting on the W3 bus...scan all ok. Big headed bean still kicking. I on the other hand feel drained! Just explained to EPU that saying my history out loud again freaked me out. Why do we have to repeat it so many times? In a way feel foolish but also unrepentant! Proper full metal attack. Normal positive midget will be restored soon. I hope. I miss her. I need her back. I think midwives sympathy face and offer of counselling support cracked me. Easy to think your ok and then you suddenly realise you are not. Don't know what I would do without this thread. Well I do, I would be considerably more loony than I am currently. X

hello all...so sorry I have been so useless at catching up, though have been lurking and keeping up with everything! Work has been manic this week...

mrs so sorry about all the waiting and uncertainty - really hope you get some answers soon!

midget thinking of you with your scan!

tits hope all goes well next week with your DS and that you manage your symptoms and metalling at the same time!

manda how did your twirling go with New Look yesterday? Hope it was a good distraction from the anniversary.

IQ yeah for being home with mini-IQ...hope you all settle well into being at home and that the 'discomforts' of labour pass soon!

Ooh and marathon of you're still lurking...huge congrats too

midgetm thinking of you. Its so hard, but don't beat yourself up about it. After what you've been through I think you're coping amazingly well. Hope the scan goes well.

pebspop hope the stomach cramps settled down soon, and you manage to get some rest this weekend.

mrsn sorry for all the uncertaintly you're going through right now - but like martha says there is still a glimmer of hope that it is all okay. I know you're the best person to judge whats going on, but I know lots of people who've had bleeding in healthy pregnancies. When is your scan? Is it possible to get an earlier one? Hope you enjoyed your coffee and cake.

I've managed to wangle an extra scan for tomorrow morning - have had quite painful cramps and backache over the past few days and can't wait till the 9th April for my dating scan. I go through periods of positivity (actually started looking at pushchairs online last night) and then periods of complete paranoia.

Hope everyone else is okay and have nice things lined up for the weekend

I was brave at the midwife. Even running through my calamitous 9 pregnancies. Then I freaked out totally and I am now a jibbering heap waiting for a scan at EPU. I couldn't walk past the door with my normal paperwork in my hand. I was terrified, forced to say it all out loud again and I am thinking 'who the bloody hell am I thinking this could go right? Wtf! I am metalling in public. Shame on me!

midget hope the midwife makes you feel at ease.

iq glad to see you are home.

i am absolutley shattered today. i think the last couple of days at work have really taken it out of me. i also had commitments in the evenings as well which didn't help. i can't wait to get home, i have things to do at work but just can't be bothered.

think i might go and get some chocolate from the vending manchine and have a brew!

i got around the problem of giving my sicknote to the nosey people in payroll by getting my boss to give it to their manager for me. phew!

i have been bleeding for seven days since erpc and i expect at least another week based on last times experience. my af takes ages to come back as well - think it was 6-8 weeks after erpc last time.

i have been having stomach cramps in the evenings as well this week - i have needed paracetomol and hot water bottle. it's ok in the day. i will see how it goes over the weekend but might ring hospital to see if it's normal.

I'll avoid the pastries as I'm covered in the weight I gained from eating sweets through pregnancy.

"Good to know" it's not uncommon to bleed for so long. It looked like it was stoping a few days back and then returned. Why can't I just choose when I stop bleeding, start ovulating and become pregant and give birth to a lovely healthy child?

Midgetem, pride/bravery doesn't always meet a midwife's gaze, I think, if you know a monster has been known to lurk behind a specific door, then to open that door is a brave thing to do, but it wouldn't surprise anyone if it was done with a shaking hand. Good luck with your appointment.

Mrsnesbit, normality is a weird thing. I just had a groupon detoxifying facial body wrap thing, I never do these things but I was new to groupon and a sucker. She was being all cheery and isn't the weather great and are you doing anyhting nice at the weekend... so I said," I miscarried a couple of weeks ago, I just want to return to work Monday not looking like death", she was lovely and quiet after that.

Marbles, that must ache. Is your DH unable to bear more, not sure how to help (you know people being awkward instead of workin out what to do to help) or otherwise, sounds like you could use a nice drink/cake but I've never worked out how to bold or use the emoticons.

Welcome home Mini IQ (and congrats again to IQ!).

mrsn, that sucks to be in limbo - is there any way you can get an earlier scan? The uncertainty sounds hideous. Thinking of you from over here.

wrigle, I only had a few days of bleeding but that was because the day two bleed suddenly turned into HELLO I AM HAEMORRHAGING HELLO HOSPITAL and an ERPC (after they managed to get me on a drip due to the whole "passing out from blood loss", funtimes). I've heard of people have much longer than that when they've m/c-ed entirely naturally though. Hope it stops soon.

And tits, argh on your DS having to go to hospital, as you say it's the last thing a hormonal pregnant lady needs. I hope at least he comes out feeling better. (I only recently found out that my MIL's bad lungs, which I had always thought were just because she had TB as a child, are actually something CF-like and mucusy and the repeated infections were a symptom, not a cause. She goes in for IV antibiotics fairly regularly and always feels like a new, less-gunged woman when she comes out.)

Also gah, Marbles, that sounds like an entirely reasonable reason to feel down.

And the really lovely shoes, midget? Ouch, have you seen what they do to your bank balance/credit card bill? There's a lot to be said for that simple phrase: nothing worth having is normally easy. There are variants: the course of true love never did run smooth; if it's worth having it's worth fighting for etc. etc.

Do cliches exist as a salve or because there is an inherent truth in them, somewhere? Perhaps a little of both.

we'll ignore the very few people in life to whom everything comes easy. They exist but they are an anomoly, the exception to prove the rule if you will. And, anyway, we never know their true, full story, do we? To trot out another cliche, I've really learned that the grass is NOT greener - grass is grass whichever way you look at it

wrigle Just checked my chart post erpc: I bleed for 13 days with a further 7 of spotting (to a more or less degree) so 20 days total. Af arrived 11 days after that. I didn't log my pg tests but I believe it took me at least three weeks to get a negative, too. I think so long as it's not smelling bad/odd it's just par for the course for some women to bleed for some time.

mrsN I know it's about a week and a half until your scan but would you consider trying to get in earlier? I think you need some answers - and it does seem as if there is some hope to be had...

tits I know personally all my symtoms vanished (I kept saying to DF 'I don't feel sick anymore, I just feel ill) and it seems many of us here have that happen... but I've read that some women do still have strong symptoms even though things have gone wrong. However, that said, it's not YOUR M.O. is it? So it would seem to me that in your case, it's a good sign. As shite as feeling sick is - yay!

Gah, I have lots more to say but haven't got the time/brain power at the minute... back later

ARGH! Just found out DS1 is being admitted for 2 weeks of IV antibiotics in FLIPPING LONDON on Monday.

One sure fire way to reduce a hormonal pregnant lady to hysterics .... tell her she is going to be 4 hours away from home without her family for 2 weeks, miss Easter, whilst worrying about miscarrying and suffering severe morning sickness.

Wriggle i won't depress you with my record number of days bleeding.Really hope it is over soon.

I have a normal midwife booking in appointment - it is freaking the living daylights out of me. I am also going on my own as DH taking DD out - I don't want her to know until I feel more secure as at 4 she is old enough to be heartbroken if it goes tits up. I am not going to drive just in case my car rolls down the hill at the Whittington. I am a fecking wreck. Normal just seems weird. I may end up clinging round the midwifes leg and making her keep me in until I am 37 weeks. Over the top? Dramatic? Metalling? I am waiting for the pulling of sympathetic face when she counts my failed pregnancies. But you know what I shall try and not feel any shame but a lot of pride because I am still going strong. I will won't I? Or shall I blush and look at my shoes?

Blimey this baby making is a tricky business but then I suppose nothing worth having is normally easy. Except lovely shoes but even they hurt a bit.

nomoremarbles...are you me??????? we sound so similar! Ive never spoken to any one who has had multiple mcs, and my 1st mc, would now be 11, in fact i would have one of every age now!!!!!