Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake

MissC thinking of you today. Hope you are ok and hope you got some breakfast!

Manda hugs to you. Things can hit you when you aren't expecting them, especially when hormonal. It is important to feel these things though and as Leedy says, go all wibbly - you have every reason. Hope you are feeling a bit brighter now though. You have so much to look forward to in the next few weeks (but I know that doesn't by any means take away any of the hurt of the past).

Well 18 weeks here now, lots of kicking and prodding going on and the bump is a definite bump now there's no hiding it anymore! Time is starting to absolutely whizz by, seems like only a minute ago we were off to see the fertility clinic.

DS was 2 on Saturday as well, we took him to the zoo which was wonderful - it was lovely to see him so excited by all of the animals and I managed to make a perfectly acceptable (and recognisable!) George Pig cake which survived the journey and we had a splendid - if a little chilly - picnic.

Anyway, enough rambling about my brood - hope everyone is doing well - IQ if you're still looking in here, hope things are going ok for you lovely. The first few weeks can be a bit overwhelming so remember there are lots of us here who can answer questions etc. (apologies for curiosity - ignore me of course if you don't want to say )

Good luck today MissC, hope you get reassuring news! And more virtual treats to manda, anniversaries are tough and you're allowed to go all wibbly.

Was out til 11 at band rehearsal last night (have not yet told bandmates about pregnosity), nearly fell in the door with exhaustion. I suspect I too will be joining the ranks of the early to bed tonight. Zzzzzzz.

Oh Manda, sending you such a big hug. It is so hard. After everything you went through, it would be strange if you didn't have some sort if reaction, and I think maybe your mind has to do this a little bit to help you heal. Just try to look after your body as best you can, keep drinking, try and find something bland and innocuous to nibble, rest if you cannot sleep. Is there someone who can help you with DS2 today? I always find carrying on as normal with a toddler tough. And talk you mw, as long as you think she will sympathetic.

pebs, sending you a hug too. Glad you are feeling a bit better. I am sorry you don't like your job much, it would make things easier for you if you had something interesting to stimulate you.

Misscoffee good luck today. Hope you get lots of good news today.

I am officially knackered, I went to bed at 8pm, unheard of for me. Hope this does the trick because I have really struggled to get through the days with tiredness. But keep counting the days along, now 8+4.

I could so eat that right now actually. Especially the strong coffee. Went to bed at 10.15, laid awake until 2am at the very earliest, woke again stressing at 5am, and then got jumped on by a highly annoying DD at 6.30am demanding to know why I turned her bedtime story CD off. She then got sent back to bed but instead of going back to sleep sat there shouting that I'd hurt her feelings So now instead of hiding in bed until late as was my plan I'm up for an early morning metal to follow on from my through the night metalling. Have nervous tummy and no breakfast food in to speak of, in reality. No bread no milk....

I would go out for breakfast if I could guarantee being able to eat. I have to take DD with me to the appointment after all so no idea how that's going to go down with anyone involved and just vaguely adds to the stress. I had thought I'd take her for lunch after but lunch and breakfast out seems excessive! Thank you to everyone wishing us luck.

evening ladies

hope alls well tonight

manda i think a near-death experience anniversary is enough to make anyone have an emotional rollercoaster...add in your other experiences...well its alot to deal with alongside preg hormones...you are an emotional soup my dear! let it out but please, try and eat even if you dont sleep too much...eat something... {{{{{hugs}}}}}

not much is going on...AF is late by 1 day but cramps make things seem imminent... to be honest DH and I only DTD once around the right time and even then it wasnt our best effort

hope all the TTC-ing for everyone else has the desired effect

I am feeling much better now. I got on with some work this afternoon and came home to nice tea with dh.

Boris I have had a few tv scans. They are fine no need to worry! They insert a thin wand just in a little bit. They put a condom on the wand which is a bit weird!

Just popping on to give manda a big hug! Thinking of you lots and really hope you're able to get some extra support...I think the combination of all that has passed and the anniversary, plus your third trimester hormonal emotions running high will v much compound the situation for you at the moment. Take care and please try to eat if you can!

missc hope all goes well tomorrow...

And to all that SWI marthas go girl!!

Welcome to all those who have just joined us, I really hope you find this thread the lifeline that I have. And a big wave to everyone I have missed!

For me the events of the last year are starting to catch up with me, am nearing the point when I found out I got my first bfp which was for the little bean that didn't make it, as well as approaching the time when my mat leave will start and beginning to have a minor major panic about all that's going to be happening in the next few months...32 weeks tomorrow which suddenly seems very scary, amazing, but still scary!

Hello everyone! May I join the madness fun please?

Discovered mmc at 12w scan last week and had MM Friday so still off work and possibly going mad due to lack of conversation and daytime tv. Actually sought out conversation with next doors window cleaner today, he was v.jolly but rather busy...

Anyway, we're planning to jump back on the TTC bandwagon asap, so I was wondering if anyone could sprinkle some babydust my way please?

We're being uber positive at the moment and I'm v.pleased to find this thread. I've been lurking about on AIBU but I'm not sure its anymore good for my sanity.

Anyway, I think I've found a nice new home here if you dont mind me moving in with my thermal socks and home made blanket and glass of anything alcoholic I can find

Good job my extra pregnancy saliva is in full flow as still got plenty left to give manda a super huge lick. Hope the appointment goes ok. It's the normal day today shit that gets to me too x

missC midget is talking a special kind of metal sense I think that if your bag packed acts as some kind of security blanket, then so be it. And, well, the bag packed isn't going to make something bad happen so... yeah. I agree about not toting it with you though.

May be a little radio silence from me, or, perhaps, just a reduced service: I thought I was doing ok yesterday, really I was. We took DS2 to CHessington to see the animals at the zoo and although I didn't feel great I was doing ok... and then once I got to the night time (and the time from when I delivered) I became I gibbering wreck, crying lots and basically unable to pull myself together. I've been very tearful again today. I can't place my finger on why - I mean, I keep flashing back to certain things but I don't feel the tears when those thoughts come to me. And I know why, but not why why. Heh. I sound like a loony! What I mean is, it's not like I think about something, or flashback to it, and it makes me cry. I seem to be crying at unrelated times.

Bearly eaten since yesterday, either. Nor slept. I'm a bit of a mess. I think I'm just gonna go with it for the rest of today and see what tomorrow brings because surely I can't go on like this indefinitely. I'll have to seek... something if it keeps on (I have an antenatal appointment tomorrow at 2pm so maybe a starting point).

If this isn't making sense, it was the first anniversary of DS3's birth and my near death/rushed to theatre experience yesterday.

-Evening All!

MrsN How are you?
Pebs sorry you are feeling blue today. A holiday plan for June sounds like a great idea. I go through periods of not being able to sleep since the MC and being tired just makes it twice as hard,
MissC what Midgetm says...& I will be thinking of you tomorrow
Martha please can you tell me what booyakashah means...i keep hearing it and don't know.... I'm not very cool
GBP Happy for you that the miserable PG symptoms are kicking in - who would have thought a year ago i'd be thinking "Oh, extreme breast pain", that's really good ....

Has anyone had a TV Ultrasound? Just found out I have to have one next week..

I'm starting SWI this evening....gulp....can i put myself through this again and not go mad?

Hello to Fizzy and Chloe and kirrinIsland its nice in here, honest.

Arg, just wrote a lovely message and phone crashed. Anyway, the gist was good luck tomorrow msc. Thinking of you.

Major licks to you missC. This may distract you momentarily from your rather deserved metalling. Personally I would leave the bag packed. Not because I think you'll need it at all. Your movements and logic say you won't but if it makes you feel better in a weird kind of way then keep it. Also sods law says if prepared it won't be needed. Hoelwever, do not take it with you, allow yourself at least that much positivity. I will bring Valium for you to the VIP area.

I hope everything goes OK at your appt tomorrow missCoffeeNWine I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Pebspop - I really get what you mean about work. I have no motivation at all at the moment either and really don't care about it. All I can think about is mc/ttc/potential problems etc.. I know it's not healthy but I can't seem to snap out of it and pull myself together. Hopefully we'll feel better soon.

MarthasHarbour Well done re all the SWI! I also have (used to have?, who knows now) short cycles too and so will start trying again this week. Kinda looking fwd to obsessing about something else other than mc, IYKWIM.

Does anyone know how long a referral to a mc clinic takes after a third miscarriage? Also, if we have a third miscarriage will I still get a referral even though the mc's would have happened in a really short space of time? (The midwife said that they would count the second mc just last week, as well as the 1st mc in Feb. Although it definitely wasn't the same).

leedy you are an actual pregnant person. Mind you, when the other day I mentioned I could murder some toast and DP started asking his sister, whose house we were at, if she'd make me some, I was mortified (I get like that) and he said 'what! you're a pregnant woman!' and I instantly said 'No! I'm not! Not really! Not yet!'

They all looked at me like this

I never did get the toast either

Well I'm metalling more than ever. Jaffa yes I am in my WTF cycle. Today for some unknown reason, I decided to test. I might as well POA £5 note! Of course it was BFN, probably not even close to AF appearing (I reckon I actually MCd 4 weeks ago, but AF appears so rarely for me that the chances of a spontaneous AF seem slim.) Will probably wait another week or so, then take some Provera for a few days to induce a bleed, then try Clomid again. Need to get back to the GP so he can either prescribe me more or refer me back to the hospital. Am still that nobody picked up my fertility nurse's caseload when she left so I have to go through the whole rigmarole of referral and waiting again. Am keeping my fingers crossed that the GP will just prescribe me some - I know they can but just don't like people to take it unmonitored, but I've had so many cycles of it I figure I know it works for me and I know what to watch out for....

Why the hell can't I just get on with life in the meantime? I can't stop obsessing about ttc. Am even worse than I was when ttc #1 (and that took a long time!)

Congrats on the cf gene tits

pebs I went back to work after 3 days with both my losses as I also felt that keeping busy was the way forward - I quite like my job though which might make all the difference until they decided to close us down

missc good luck with the appointment, I think you're entirely justified in metalling in such a milestone week, but focus on those kicks you're feeling.

leedy I too am veering between positive and depths of doom. I'm trying to focus on the fact that I feel like hell but I can't help but get that sinking feeling every time I think about my scan coming up on Saturday. Last time they booked me in for my booking appointment and my 12 week scan in the same phonecall - this time they haven't. I'm trying not to read too much into that.

Ok, now booked in for scan at 9 weeks-ish and NT scan at 12. Like actual pregnant person. Veering like mad lady between lalalalalaoptimism and DOOOM. Erm, just like the rest of us, then.

i think we must have had different circumstances then as i found out i had a mmc at the 20 week scan. i was given a tablet straight away and had to go back in 48 hours to deliver.

don't take the bag - try a positive outlook!

night away and hen night sound good.

With mini-toe I went in, waited, was seen by the MW, seen by the doctor, diagnosed, left for a while, sent to labour ward, induced, had him, signed some forms, waited in the side room for the six hours they wanted me to hang around for, then went home in the early hours. I was only there for 11 hours in total but obviously needed a couple of changes of clothes and diversions during that time. I had packed a bag and taken it with me so I had my stuff and DP could go and sort DD without worrying about getting stuff for me.

missc i might get a holiday booked. i usually would in these circumstances but i still feel like i have only just got back from australia really.

i have a week off in june so maybe i will go away then.

i am going to a hen party on saturday and having a night away with dh on sunday night so this weekend should be nice.

surely you won't need a hospital bag tomorrow anyway? even if the worst happens don't they send you home and you come back another day?? thats what has happened to me in the past.

martha yes ds1 and ds2 are from a previous relationship, their father is a carrier as am I, luckily ds2 dodged the gene bullet and poor ds1 got the full brunt.