Just MC and ready to try again? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake

Ladies,

Mrs N - What sht luck! I really really hope you get a break. What a shtter to still be in the unknown zone. Keeping it all crossed for you.

Tiago - the name 'WTF month' is very fitting! Couldn't have put it better myself.

CD18 and still reading 'low fertility' on the monitor. FFS!!!!

Comforting to hear of those of you getting BFP soon after mc.

mrsn so sorry to hear what you've been going through and hope y ou don't mind me dropping in but I did want to say there is an amazing book by a Dr de beer ' is my body baby friendly' available on amazon which is intriguing when you have suffered recurrent miscarriages.

I have had 4 in total, 3 last year which left me devastated. I am 42 and having read that after my 3rd mc self referred privately to Mr Shehata, I have very high NK cells which basically kill the embryo. I had to believe there was a reason for me miscarrying and I was lucky 6 weeks after my last mc I finally had a reason why I ws miscarrying. THe NHS in general can be sceptical of this treatment but Having now seen so many women carry on the treatment plan of steroids, intralipids if required and progesterone, plus aspirin and Vits Ai am a firm believer. I am now 17 weeks pregnancy and wouldn't be here without his help.

Please do look into this before throwing in the towel.

I hope you don't mind me mentioning it. I do appreciate its a very personal choice but I could not read and run without sharing this with you.

Thinking of you.

Thanks for all the AC advice lovely ladies I took my first two this morning!
My cycles have been erratic at best since I had my coil after DD was born and once it was removed, apart from not being as heavy they are still up the wall this cycle was 40 days whilst last cycle was 29 days the one before was 27 days and my average over the last 12 months was 36 days also my LP varies from 8-11 days when I temped for 18 months and my prog is In the lower range of normal in the tests I had and there was some discussion of suppositories and early preg prog testing... I'm thinking it can hardly make things much worse can it I have been checked for PCOS I do get large ovarian cysts but not regularly and never more than one at a time...

Hope everyone is well (mrsN thinking of you xx)

Manda bless you for your enthusiasm and your very very contageous hope, i love that!

OOh yes, as this one was such a surprise i had thought and hoped that maybe, just maybe.....also mil died about 6 weeks ago and i was even thinking that she would be looking out for us....dumbass that i am!

I am 41, 42 in July, i am tired after 10 years of ttc, of being in top health, of having no alcohol, nothing caffinated, taking suppliments for this that & the other. For keeping a bmi at a healthy level, fo watching the calender, for thinking & hoping every single month...maybe, maybe????

In recent years it has taken longer & longer to concieve, 22 months last try. This to me screams that my fertility is failing....but then 6 months after that mc...a very very faint + result.
IVF is not an option.

BUT today...i am pregnant, today there is hope that this will continue, with difficulty, but there is that hope there....

Manda, thankyou so much for all of your lovely gorgeous posts, you are a tonic, i cant thank you enough, you just dont know what a difference your loveliness makes to me, a freakish stranger with a broken oven and a broken heart ont tinternet, thankyou lovely lady xxxx

mrsn Yup, yup, to that removed, pragmatic view. Who wouldn't have slipped into that stae in your shoes - be it acceptance, denial, self preservation or a combo of all of them at differing times that takes you there.

But and I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here: given what you said yesterday, I think I should be ok there's something about the way you fell pregnant despite it all that is saying maybe, just maybe, it's not quite time to throw the towel in finally.

Yes, you're 42 (recently, or are you nearer 43?) but if you've had all but every test 'they' can come up with and they've come back 'normal' then I think you've got a chance. Maybe even a good chance if you want to have the energy throw yourself at it. I'm assuming your FSH wasn't horribly high? Couldn't be, or else you wouldn't be 'unexplained' infertility. So, your ovaries must work ok/you are not entering the menopause.

So! You could 'try' getting you and DH into tip top physical condition - this will mean taking supplements, some clinically 'unproven' (such as the high dose b vits I'm an advocate of) but anecdotally have helped many women with unexplained infertility (and actually, in IVF high dose b vits taken by patients when they stim produced more high grade eggs, so that IS some clinical evidence). Your body clearly doesn'y have an issue getting pregnant - so it would seem logic would dictate improving the quality of your eggs, right?

As I type this, though, I recognise the leap of faith it would take to say, actually, we are going to try this. Especially not knowing for sure it would work, especially knowing that potentially all that might happen is you set yourself up for another mc. I don't know whether it's something you can properly think about or if you just go with how your gut feels.

I'm guessing IVF would be out of the question for you?

And I will stop throwing questions at you/seeming 'ever-the-optimist' (which I'm really not! But something about you... I dunno, I just feel all is not lost and I'm uncharacteristically optimistic for you!) and shut up!

marff you may, or may not, recall my wobbles, quite bad ones, too, as I went into my LP each month... suddenly convinced I didn't want to ttc. I think it's a variation of 'normal' (ha!) and obviously a self preservation thing. Obviously if it becomes the pervading thought through most of your cycle then it woulod be fair to say it is truly how you feel. But I don't think you're quite there, yet, eh?

poppy!! Yay for you and your pampering ahead. Lovely to 'see' you. Please do report flavour of the baby once you find out

sue Well... I guess it ain't over until I start singing! Ok, I'm not actually fat but at 35 weeks I sure look it! (although for you tits at assuming your BMI, and assuming unflatteringly! Not to mention what it would mean with regards to their 'fears' for you as the pregnancy continues...). Hopwfully the dr will refer you for an early scan to get a better idea of what is happening?

I... ok, I've been waffling on. I spoke to the bereavement midwife on the phone today for half an hour and she's making me an appointment with my consultant next week plus a face to face appointment with her for may 1st. I feel odd... saying stuff to her, fears, anxieties I have, it's all made me feel weird. Because mostly I push it all down, y'know? But, yeah, the ball is rolling and OMG! My due date is only five weeks away (and I'm measuring 40 weeks - joy)

hello everyone (sneaks back in more than slightly embarrassed . I think I may have been over-reacting to call a mc and disappear on the mother of a metalling sessions.....

As quickly as it started the bleeding stopped after a couple of hours on Tuesday (but not before I'd dramatically announced to my husband I wasn't pregnant anymore ).

I'm still not particularly hopeful of a good outcome but I'm pretty sure I haven't mc yet. I'm super confused, had full on red bleeding like the start of AF when I wiped and a little on the pad that seemed like it was only going to get worse but it didn't and apart from a tiny, tiny bit of spotting I've been clear for nearly 48 hours now & pregnancy test still very strong positive. Have an appointment with the DR this evening, though I'm not sure what they'll be able to say/do.

I'm so sorry for your bad news mrsn, both my mc were blighted ovum, it's heartbreaking. I think you are a hell of a lot braver than I could be by trying as many times as you have done, I genuinely don't know if I could do it. xxx

Thanks but i am nearly 42, i have been discharged from Liverpool, it really isnt worth it. The type of mcs i have are blighted ovum, this has been explained to me as a chromosomal issue.
I think that if we were to give it one last go, and i took the steroids and intralipids, it would do nothing but prolong the innevitable ensuing miscarriage.
Having had hormone injections and asprin during my last pregnancy...this is exactly what it did, it prolonged the agony for longer than was necissary.

As you can see i have little faith in any of these treatments, i strongly believe based on my experience, that there is nothing that they can do, no explanations or answers and that they are just stabbing in the dark for 80% of the time.
They told me that they do not know why 80% of mcs occur, that was a stark and shocking fact and was the deciding factor for us to stop ttc.
I was never going to get any answers, nor a happy outcome.
Defeated, finally after 10 years.

Dunno, i spose that i have a very practical and removed view of it since i stepped out of the arena. Couldnt see the wood for the trees whilst in the thick of it.

poppy very nice to hear from you, that sounds like heaven!

leedy I have gone to an F already, up 2 cup sizes, everyone at work can tell I am preggers cos of the size of my norks I reckon. Goodness knows where i will end up.

mrsn very sorry to hear that and I hope that if it is what you think, it passes quickly and painlessly as possible.
I know you have said you are 'done' with it but it looks like you have never been tested for NK cells, would this be an option for you? The treatment is fairly cheap steroids (pred) and intralipids. You could ask your consultant to prescribe the steroids for you and treat empricially even without the expensive tests, some will agree to do this, especially with your history. Clexane also has immune effect.

Hi ladies,
Had a rough night, exhausted but couldnt sleep. Fell asleep on the sofa this morning, went for a wee and large amount of "gunk" when i wiped, so this is probably the start of it.

Feel "strange", cant explain.

I have just read though my notes.

The midwife didn't weigh me and I had no clue how much I weigh.
I got weighed at the local leisure centre (with heavy clothes on I might add) worked out my BMI. And went to fill it in, in the notes, as requested. The cheeky mare has only gone and ticked me as 30> BMI for obesity weight management! My BMI is 25. I know I look heavy, I was wearing baggy clothes and I have very large boobs, I'm only 5ft with and already noticeable bump, but still.

Just going to leap in and say I took agnus castus along with Bvits (B100 complex) and it really did help, I had very long cycles (50+ days) due to PCOS, and an 11 day LP and the AC brought my ovulation date forward by about a week. As Manda says it also helps with the PMS, skin issues and my hair and nails were really good...It may not be for everyone (and I have certainly read the horror stories too!) but I think it helped me out with my PCOS.

When I went to see the fertility specialist I asked him about it too and he advised that I should continue taking both the agnus castus and the BVits alongside the prescribed medication (metformin) which I did and hey presto here I am 20 weeks pregnant. Obviously can't say what it was that did the trick but I suspect it all helped.

Anyway, sorry for the sales pitch....just really felt like it did me some good

sorry for being awol, just trying to keep the metalling to a minimum

News from me, well things are starting to feel a touch more real now, doula booked, Natal Hypnotherapy CDs just loaded on to Iphone... goodness me, I am starting to believe there might actually be a baby at the end of all of this.....anomaly scan a week today (and we'll hopefully be finding out the gender, which I am v excited about).

Also just booked a last minute spa break ON MY OWN (hoorah!) this weekend so I am really looking forward to having a bit of time to be with my own thoughts and pretend I am sipping cocktails somewhere glamourous when actually I'll be drinking herbal tea with my book while DH attends to the ceaseless demands from DS for more Peppa Pig and Easter eggs (over indulged last weekend, and now we're paying!)

Take care! xxx

marbles I've taken AC - three seperate times when ttc my last three babies: ds2 took for 2 months, ds3 took for 1 month and again this time for a couple of months). Once we have our birth control sorted for after this baby I would be happy to take it until...well, forever really. It regulates my longer cycles/late O beautifully, improves my PMT (a bit...) skin and stuff.

The stuff I've read about it not working out for other women, I tended to think they didn't really need it in the first place. Their cycles weren't really longer than average, their O was pretty 'average' (or not tracked at all).

Remember: It does NOT contain any hormones in and of itself. The compounds in it act upon your pituitary and hypothalamus to get them working more effectively (and I reiterate - if you cycle is all but fine anyway then you risk them screwing up by taking it!), resulting in lower androgens in your system (again, a problem for those with pcos) and higher progesterone in the second half of your cycle.

I have pcos, hence it working so well for me.

What's making you consider it, NMM? Are your cycles long/wacky/you have pcos?

Grrr, NoMoreMarbles.

i havn't tried agnus castus - sounds a bit scary from things i have read. have you tried acupuncture? it's good for regulating cycles. it really helped me after mc as my period didn't return for 12 weeks and acupuncture got me going again!

i think my bleeding has stopped! i will try another pg test at weekend and hopefully will have the bfn then i can start again. i might try accupuncture if af doesn't come back by end of may. she has got 6 weeks to sort herself out!!

AF is a right bitch.

AF arrived Ahhh well... I'm thinking of trying Agnus castus this cycle.... Anyone tried it?

I fear the maternity bra (should I get that far along this time). Last time around I started out at a B cup, this time I'm starting out as a D. I fear I'm going to end up in something ... industrial looking.

All done, midwife is lovely :)

Now I can relax and try and shop for much needed maternity bras and trousers. :)

Me too, although I usually do hall and toilet too just to be on the safe side!

tits that's what I'd do!

Buggeration, I fell asleep last night, felt bloody awful. Just woken up, midwife is due in 1 1/2 hrs and the place looks like a frat party has taken place. The kids are being shooed outside, I'm wondering if I can shut the kitchen and bedroom doors and do a quick whizz around the lounge arse!!!

I found the worst thing listening to the baby's crying after they were born, I was on the labour ward for 6 days then the maternity ward for a day then back to the labour ward

mrsN so sorry things didn't look good would you not try to get managed at LWH in gynae? I'm under the RMU there too (Farquharrsons team) and they have a good management process in place for MCs apparantly nowadays. My first MC was very badly handled there in 2002 but things seem to have drastically changed.

Brilliant news for the other scans

I started spotting slightly earlier but it has stopped completely now so fuck knows what's happening... If AF hasn't started tomorrow morning I'm going to retest and book in to see my GP(again!)

Yes jaffa I remember swapping our stories before :( I too was constantly surrounded by heartbeats (in maternity assessment bay and then moved to labour ward which seems to throb with the noise of heartbeat monitors - monitors I've actually never been on myself, bizarrely enough, having had either a baby too small or too problem free to need it) But I did have the baby loss room to lounge about in after, but that doesn't have a bed in it, it's like a waiting room.

The worst bit for me was the trying to find the heartbeat with the paddle, then going to get a doppler, then trying with the doppler, then trying again, then going to get a doctor, then going to get a portable scan machine, then going to get a better scan machine, then trying to adjust the machines to see detail of a small baby rather than the big ones they are used to looking at, all whilst laid flat on the bed staring at the ceiling listening to buh bum buh bum heartbeats all around me. And then seeing my baby all crumply and still on the scan with only a curtain round the bed to hide the news and our reaction from everyone else :(