The Rat Smacketeers will all get BFP's this month and we are Brooking No Argument!

Phew! It didn't get lost.

Right, where was I?

Bartlet so sorry about the continued AF. It's unacceptable behaviour from her. Good idea to visit your doc - I so hope that things resolve themselves pronto.

Scarlett any news from you? I've no idea about the SA results - it's a shame they don't send guidance out with the test results to avoid consultations with Dr Google. Are you going to see your GP about them?

Bean, HSG booked for 2 April seems like canny timing. Brooking turned up to "high" for you so that you can cancel it as a result of your BFP.

Pretty much the start of sex week here but I'm feeling a bit "meh" about it. Bored with it all now - am wondering whether to take this month off as am fed up with the same old routine every month. OH is quite busy at work at the moment so am sure he could do without the pressure of having to have a shag when he gets back late. We'll just see how we go I suppose!

13 days left at work and counting...

Good morning smacketeers!

Shiny, many many congratulations - I can totally understand your stress/fear so I'll hold off on the dazzling gymnastics until your first scan when you will 100% see a cute little flickering heartbeat :)

Maybe any ramekin action from you this morning perchance? I have my fingers so tightly crossed that it's your month this month.

Sparks I use our little greenhouses for chillies which are super easy to grow - I get a whole year's supply for the freezer in one summer. Not a great suggestion if you don't like chillies though!

Whims, a dinner party - my favourite thing to do. What about a lemon posset with ginger biscuits or a panna cotta with berry compote? Have nice recipes for both if they take your fancy. Oh, I saw a recipe for a rosewater panna cotta the other night - might work nicely with the Moroccan main course - let me know if you like the sound of that and I'll dig it out for you.

Right, I'm going to post now and then carry on...

Morning all

shiny we plant seeds in tiny little pots and then move them into bigger pots or the Vegas patch later, the little pots are in little baby greenhouses, to keep them warm and humid. Or you could just put a freezer bag over the top to get the same effect. Obviously some things like carrots go straight into the veg patch later. Good luck at the docs today.

sparkle we grow tomatoes and cucumbers in pots, you can grow almost anything if you have big deep pots. What would you like to grow?

Right what was this thread about, ah yes rat-smacking

Nothing to report here as I'm about 4dpo, but it is snowing in case you're interested

All sounding very promising for you my dear, let us know how you get on at the docs.

Bartlet I am not surprised you are frustrated. As if everything you have been through isn't enough. I hope the Dr sorts you out once and for all. There are rats that need smacking

Getting quite inspired to do some gardening and veg growing with DS after reading this.

Scarlett, it's a long time since I've done SA and I won't attempt a professional opinion now, but it is surprising how bad normal sperm is! You expect a good proportion to be immotile etc. I guess that's why it was all designed that there would be several million of them each time!

shiny, congratulations. I do hope this one is sticky.

AF still in residence here. That's me been bleeding now for 3 months since DD's birth. I think there will have to be another trip to my Nice Lady Doctor. All a bit frustrated with it now.

Hello - still hanging in there. Can't vouch for the state of my mental health though . Have decided to bite the bullet and go to the docs tomorrow. If the worst happens overnight, I can get stuck straight in to trying to get some answers.

imps - that is very annoying re the post.

bean - um v impressed re the sperm analysis interpretations.

generic - that is shitballs re AF. However, it will be the last one for a while as next cycle will be yours!

scarlet - you're still not out!

beedle - I'm v impressed with the planting! What, exactly, do you plant in? Just a pot? I'm thinking of trying. Have planted lots of hanging baskets and pots etc but never grown any vegetables.

popcorn - yes, you will deffo be too busy!

far - THANK YOU - your post means that hopefully I might get more than two hours of uninterrupted sleep tonight! I also have the most disgusting taste in my mouth - as though I've been sucking on 2ps. Had a look online and that seems to be a sign too. my back is killing me too but surely too early for all that

Good for you Little!

Loving the new name Pop

Beedle all out little seeds are on the window sill too. Will be a while before we actually get some warmth here too I love squash and celeriac

Scarlett when did you say you got your +ve OPK?

*Thank, obviously...

Tank you pop for metaphorical friendly slap, yes I am obsessing and I will cease and desist, I promise!

shiny I've got everything crossed that this one's a sticky one

maybe I'm very impressed with your planting but why haven't you PIACC yet? I planted celeriac and buttenut squash at the weekend, their just inside by the window for now, as it will be a few weeks before we can risk planting stuff outside

Boo to AF arriving and to the weird cycles (well that seems to cover almost everyone)

sweetie you're looking lovely and tanned, and you're my cycle buddy at the moment - so here's to our BFPs in about 7 10 days time

stasi i hope the Ipad helps your wrists, I find that my tablet makes my wrists hurt, probably because its so portable I use it more than I used to use my normal computer

I'd better post this before I lose it, laters

Hi scarlett - I wouldn't worry about a cycle length of 30ish days; it's still only 2-3 more than "usual" for you, which is within normal limits imho :)

Oh I'm fairly sure I'm out this month, am always wishing to get a reassuring tummy twinge or sore boob [or, dare I say it, some 'normal' [TMI] constipation, that's been clockwork since I was 12 and apparently was the cause for 50% of my cramps...]. However, I was an absolute twat to be around yesterday and blamed a combination of PMT & BFN.

Last month I was late and had a variety of different symptoms but the boobs was the same. I do think 'Mother' Nature is just playing games with me now... I think she has just extended my cycle now for the laugh.

My cycle lengths [since I don't have a chart to examine] for last 12 cycles have been: 27, 29, 27, 27, 28, 28, 26, 29, 28, 26, 25, 32 - until Christmas fairly-ish consistent. Currently CD30. I wish I could switch off from this as I'm sure it's the thinking about it that delays it...

Thanks for non expert view bean GP just said 'normal' but we are seeing specialist next thursday so he should be able to clarify more.

Nice to hear all ok cakes I had to call on CD1 too...

Thanks Pops - I think they won't do it either way. If I'm super lucky I'll be pg and will have a BFP! If I'm lucky AF will be on her way out. If I'm unlucky she'll just have arrived and they won't do it. Ah well - the saga continues. Hopefully I can reschedule!

Hi
All well here 12w on friday. Starting to feel more normal, since Sat I finally found a more normal appetite so am now trying to make up for last 6wks lol.

Hope your ok far

Different places seem to book HSGs differently mine got me to phone on CD1 in order to book appt and I had mine done on CD12. They were aiming for CD10 but because I have a 7day AF CD12 was considered fine. Given the BFP that followed I'm happy to say they got it right.

Just a thought bean but I bet they won't do a HSG if AF doesn't turn up that day iyswim? Unless you've abstained the whole cycle or something?

DH has just turfed over our veggie patch I plan to be too heavily pg this summer, and far too busy for the next one :o

Please note disclaimer - I'm not an expert on SA and could be TOTALLY WRONG.

Poor Imps - what a massive focker. Have a brandy for health reasons.

Maybe - I am shamed by your seed scatterings and my lack of. Ooh - what a great cheesecake with FJ!

Think 2 April may be cd1 (although of course I am already diffed). I'm guessing that throws out HSG for that date?!

Scarlett - preggers?!

Oh Imps I bloody hate it when that happens

Bean that's great news. It's a sign I tell you, a sign As far as seeds go, we planted cauliflower, green and yellow courgettes, mint, thyme, parsley, peppers, leeks, aubergines, purple sprouting broccoli, cabbage, red and yellow tomatoes. And I put the spuds, garlic, red and white onions in the ground on Saturday. I am very excited

Scarlett it sounds to me as though you could very well be preggers! I am keeping everything crossed for you. Sounds like the sperm analysis is looking good! I don't know anything about the numbers, but from what Bean says, things are looking good!

Thanks Little no sign whatsoever of AF. I don't even have a sore boob, which I always get I feel very heavy down there IFKWIM.

Whim sounds like you have a lovely menu there. A far as make-ahead desserts go, cheesecake is always a good one, plus there are so many different variations you can make. Or maybe a nice crumble. I have an amazing recipe for an apple and raspberry crumble with a flapjack base to it. Nom.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG STUPID F**KING MUMSNET JUST ATE MY REALLY LONG MESSAGE

Hi Scarlett - you deffo need a professional to go through those figures with you, but at a guess I think they look quite good. I hope so for your sakes. If it's slightly viscous (at a guess) - he just needs to drink more water and less tea/coffee/fizzy drinks. Plus it looks a bit acidic - more fruit in diet, less sugar/refined carbs. All good for TTC anyway. Morphology and Motility is good I think but I stress that you must ask someone who knows how to read these figures - GP should be able to explain!

Finally have HSG booked at yet another hospital after unexplained cancellation and silly buggerings on with GP. V weirdly it has landed on the same date as the very first (cancelled) referral - 2 April. The synchronicity must mean something!

xxxx

Sorry can't be much help with charting but I am too lazy busy in the mornings to temp effectively.

Have promised myself a CBFM for Easter if not diffed by then as am likely to be up early with the puppy from then anyway [much excitement in the Scarlett Household about the puppy, can?t wait to bring him home!! Not sure how I show you a picture on here? Is there any way to do it without it being open to the world?]

sweetie your tan looks gorgeous, am well jel [conveniently forgets I had a tan in January after we buggered off to the Canaries for a week after Xmas] so I am going to book a spray tan

bean your weekend sounds lovely ? although we only have SK?s to stay once a week, I am always a bit weirded out when we don?t have them because of hols with their NVDM, having a Friday eve & Saturday to ourselves sees us both looking at each other a little bit ermmmmmm what now?

pop I spoke to my mum recently too, she told me I took 18 months to conceive and my sister was a good 2 years, have found it really good to be able to talk to her tbh?

smegs have fx we will both have HSG/Hycosy magic beans, I have follow up appt with specialist next week to go through SA & hycosy results [although I already know what they are]

maybe I have given up this month, had another teensy bit of pink spotting this morning but boobs are totally normal, no cramps nada. Hycosy showed I would be ov?ing this month, from good side too, and OPK?s showed +ve around the time I was expecting, but they were a little inconclusive so maybe I should?ve carried on testing. Feck knows.

generic I?ve put numerous upward facing spears in the garden to prevent the witch?s broomstick from landing but I can hear her cackle from here

whims I?d prob suggest cheesecake or something easy like that ? I'm rubbish at dessert cos I haven?t got a sweet tooth too much?

Wave to everyone else!!

I know you lot love this kind of thing so I thought I?d share SA results and see what you think, I haven?t a fecks notion what any of it means :
Viscosity: Slightly
pH: 7.9
progressive: 78%
non-progressive: 2%
Immotile: 20%
Total no of progressively motile: 130.51mill
Morphology: 11%

If anyone would like to help I'd be very grateful