TTC 10 plus months, part 6

Waves and welcome for newbies artemis and stacks.

All the oldies, I hope you'll forgive my absence/absentmindedness if I leave some cake and tea (or some gin for those who are like me, why not drown the nesting embie)

thanks stacks (is that you stasi? ) and joyce!

joyce we have been trying for 11 months, and this will (hopefully, touch wood etc) be DC number 1.

Sorry that you have been crying at the acu (but a cry is always good to release stress hormones). and also sorry about the Coven filled weekend. I have had 2 pg announcements since last week. I must admit I still feel a bit jealous even after the BFP - guess I am envious they have got to week 12 safely.

Hope the thread's fertility streak continues...

Massive congrats to stasi and mini. How long did it take you? I am so jealous!!

I am trying to bury my head in the sand post iui and have not been posting and reading everything back. Too chicken for meeting, for now. Will be jealous of that too, when you lot report back...

Btw this is proving a very fertile thread. YAY.

Wow minipie ! this thread is on fire. Many congratulations. I?m sorry you are going to have to remind me of how long you have been trying ? i forget how long people have been trying and Is this dc#2?

I am pleased others were narked at Robbie Williams? news. He must have sunk enough dodgey stuff in his life to leave him spermless but alas it?s always the good ones who suffer. And Pete Doherty also had a kid recently ....grrrr.

artemis - welcome welcome. You sound like you will fit right in here. Although obviously I?m sorry about your m/c and being fobbed off by your GP etc. Sadly it seems the same old story.

mrsd - can you get your name down now on the clinic?s list? How annoying. And i?m sorry you are suffering from people updating you on their bumps. I ?m getting it again today from my pregnant friend. I can?t believe how effective an email can be at making me feel miserable.

pout- i think I will wait for the nhs appointment to see if i can get these tests done. My GP just told me to wait now. I have just found a new place to cry and that was lying down on the acupuncture bed. I have no idea what is wrong with me but when the acupuncturist left the room , the floodgates opened.

kitty - sorry you?re worrying about pcos. I think we all have been at this so long now that we have so much time to worry about every little thing that could be wrong. I seem to have built up a long list of potential issues over the last year. I?m sure most of these issues are all in our heads...i hope! Also you just described exactly what i have been up to ? avoiding every single event that may have a new parent or pregnant person or a pram. Unfortunately i couldn?t get out of a birthday bash at the weekend and 80% of people were new parents...needless to say it was highly depressing!

So I?ve bitten the bullet and after acupuncture swung by the ivf clinic and picked up an application form. It took 20mins just to get the form. It was so surreal going in there. It seemed to be pandemonium. One girl was crying at a desk. But it was full of normal looking people - not sure what i was expecting really. I am finding it very hard to take on board that this is the route we are ending up at but i guess everyone must feel like that. Also, my acupuncturist said that it?s not the physical side of ivf that bothers people, it?s the emotional side that is the problem. I always thought it was physically demanding.

Hope everyone is having good days.

Wow mini, that is exciting!! I know how hard it is to believe those sticks. I've done 3 so far, and am planning on doing another tomorrow morning, and another two days after. Then I might go buy some more.

Welcome Arte sorry you've cause to be here, But a big welcome from me.

Waves to everyone. I'm not doing anything worth talking about, we're just hoping we won't be snowed in all week! Braved the blizzard earlier to go get supplies just in case.

Morning ladies

Just got back from a week's hols and it seems I've missed a lot!

I haven't caught up properly yet (am reading upwards!) but I did see stasi's very exciting news. Stasi, many many congratulations. I really hope it stays and doesn't turn into AF.

Um... I may have some quite exciting news of my own.

On Tuesday last week I got a BFP. And I got another one on Thursday, and another on Monday before DH told me to stop peeing on sticks like a crazy lady. I don't have photos of the pg tests but the lines have been getting stronger each time and absolutely no sign of AF (which was due on Thurs or Fri last week).

I amm very very nervous about something going wrong (stasi I know exactly what you mean about "knowing too much" to relax). But very happy too . DH is happy too and is being overprotective already.

artemis welcome . at your school contemporary being a grandma. how the hell do these people manage it?

mrsden what is your TSH level? I am convinced it is sorting out my TSH which has finally got me up the duff this month.

Can I please be on the email re a meet up? I feel a bit nervous, like pout but would like the option...!

pout I do understand your wish not to SWI this cycle. In fact I was told no SWI before a hycosy - presumably to ensure I was not pg at the time - does the same rule not apply for a lap then?

kitty and mrsd sorry to hear about your pcos overdrives. Crap skin sucks.

euro at the comment in your review. how insensitive to make such a comment having no idea about what might be going on in your private life. as you say though, if that's the only negative thing they could find to say then you're clearly doing very well - I am sure my work has been affected (not in a good way) by ttc stress/disappointment, am impressed yours hasn't been.

Waves to those I've missed. Got to run and do some work (piles of emails to catch up on) but will come back for a proper catch up later.

Oh and I agree with everyone about the Robbie announcement. What a cock smug and insensitive person he is.

artemis welcome, ooh I simply love your name . Sounds like you have been going through a rough time, sorry about your mc. at men in white coats telling you you're ancient.

pout I so totally agree about withdrawing from normal reproductive society, that's exactly what I'm doing! I've blocked status updates from pregnants/people with small children, avoid yummy mummy areas during daylight hours (difficult as I live in one) and turn down invitations. It is quite effective but sadly I fear not a long term solution. And I couldn't get out of meeting a heavily, accidentally pregnant friend this weekend, humph.

Morning ladies

Do you mind if a newbie joins you? I have been following this thread for a few weeks trying to pluck up the courage to post & found it immensely helpful to realise that there are other people out there are in the same situation as me. I have not told many people about ttc and while my dp is great, he just doesn't understand how i feel much of the time.

My situation in brief: ttc #1 for 2 years, me 38, dp 40, one mc at 7 weeks 12 months ago but other than that, nothing. Fobbed off by my GP after the mc but finally insisted on a referral for investigation and got on the NHS conveyor belt at the start of this year. Currently on CD5 of 2nd cycle of clomid and feeling a bit mental. The doctors don't seem able to offer much. They've given me 3 cycles of clomid, and if that doesn't work, there's a year long waiting list for IVF... They keep pointing out how ancient I am, as if I didn't know. The thing that winds me up most is the assumption that I've been blase about my fertility and pursued a selfish have-it-all lifestyle when in reality I didn't meet a man worth trying to have kids with until I was 33.

I feel it for those of you dealing with pg announcements and foolish comments. We've had a few blinders recently. My cousin (who is older than me) has just announced her 4th pregnancy in five years. And a woman I went to school with has just become a grandma... Pout I felt the same as you did about the adoption comments under the Guardian article. And I personally would like to punch that tosser Williams and the other ludicrously fecund members of Take That

Sorry, this is a rather downbeat first post! On a more positive note, congratulations to stasi, I can imagine how anxious you must be, I hope everything goes really smoothly from now on.

anxious ingratiating waves to everyone

Lots of random crossing out

mrsd I missed what you said about worrying about not ovulating. I'm sure that you are. I just think that you get to a point in all this where everything becomes worse case scenario. I am obsessed about peri menopause and keep convincing myself this is our problem.
I didn't read the comments section of the Bibi Lynch article. The whole adoption thing pisses me off anyway. I find it incredibly patronising when people suggest it so glibly in a "give the poor barren woman a baby, any baby it doesn't matter" kind of way. I also get cross that people seem to think that there is a whole stash of perfect little babies just waiting for a home, like you just rock up to Social Services and put in your order for a brown eyed, dark haired newborn baby and they pop out the back to get it for you.

Did anyone see the Sun headline about Robbie Williams 'pregnancy announcement' where he said "we had sex, it works". That thoroughly pissed me off too. Bully for you, so easy, you had sex and nature provided a baby because you are normal!

ladygee any sign of AF?
That pregnancy announcement sounds like the stuff of nightmares. In your own home, having to cook and be the hostess with the mostess when I bet all you wanted to do was bury yourself in the sofa and wail. I am beginning to think that the only way to get through this is to lock ourselves away from "normal" society with functioning reproductive parts.
Anyway I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so sad at the moment and send you hugs.

wine and joycep I do the crying in the bath thing. I think it's because it is a place where you are alone and not doing anything other than laying there with your thoughts. That said I also do my best thinking in the bath
Good luck today wine with your appointment.
at fabric buttons. I heaved down the stairs got all my fabric stash out last night to see what fabrics can be combined for some patchwork. None it seems since I have amassed a terrifying array of really hideous & depressing remnants from those bargain buckets outside curtain shops. I really ought to do a cull.

lisa Patisserie Valerie, you really are posh!! I had to drag DH past Greggs. But then we are faux Surrey and it shows

Is it easy to tile? What tiles did you choose? Ours are painted over with tile paint that flakes off every time you wipe them down. DH tells me not to wipe them. Typical man solution!

euro it is crap that you are having timing issues. It makes me laugh that you are told to do these timed things but then find that places are closed on the required days or don't have an appointment.
Much kudos to you on the giving up alcohol and coffee. I can't kick the coffee but have switched to the Tesco value stuff in the hope that it is better and less caffeine laden. It is hideous and tastes a bit Bovril like which is interesting especially with milk.

joycep I have had some of those tests but not the ones further down the list. I will make a note of them and raise it at my next appointment. Are you going to speak with your GP or do them privately?

stasi Do stick around and let us know how you are getting on. Please don't worry, you have jumped the first hurdle and got your BFP. Enjoy it
I know what you mean about MN scaring the beejeezus out of you though. There are many things that I wish I didn't know!

Well I am coming into SWI time but I have decided not to SWI this cycle. My lap appointment is in a months time and I don't want to have any messed up long cycle or niggly- doubts over whether I'm updiffed before the op. DH thinks that I am a bit loopy I think but I don't want a repeat of last cycle at such a critical time. It might also be nice to have a break tries to justify decision to myself--

stasi that is simply wonderful news, congratulations. I know it?s early days but you?ve every reason to be happy and optimistic. Enjoy your holiday :)

gin that is brilliant too, everything sounds like it?s going swimmingly. Have you got a date for egg collection yet?

mrsd I have been paranoid about PCOS recently. I seem to be getting loads of typical symptoms at the moment, I don?t know if I?m imagining it because they told me my left ovary was polycystic. But my skin seems to have gone into grease overdrive, my body hair is sprouting away while all the hair on my head seems to be falling out. Asked acu lady about it tonight and she said it could be ?because my fertile energy is increasing? . I hope you ovulated. Is it worth taking your temp tomorrow morning just to see if it falls into your usual post-ov temp range?

Really sorry about ERTD?s tetley and wine and lady. Ugh. lady that preg announcement sounded horrendous, I?m so sorry. Hope the ERTD?s pass quickly and the uplifting hormones start kicking in soon.

pout at the article in your local paper saying your area definitely wasn?t in Surrey. I hope you do decide to go for the meetup, but obviously you must do what you feel comfortable with. Please don?t worry about what it would be like though. We?re all in the same boat, everyone?s bound to be a bit nervous, but it will honestly be lovely :)

euro can?t believe you?ve not drunk since Feb, that?s so good

joyce I?ve never had any of those tests!

Sleepy waves to frannie whatmess lisa and anyone I?ve missed, I?m off to bed. Night night x

Evening everyone. I'm away on holiday and making do on my iPad with wifi that keeps disappearing. I'll keep this quite short today.

This is cycle 21 for me, 2nd after a HSG. I'm still early in the cycle, and am really stressing that AF will arrive in a day or two, and it'll all be as if it never happened. There no obvious feeling to be pg, nothing I could say isn't just a normal cycle symptom. DH is quite wary, which makes it worse somehow. I have my own fears, but him having his too seems to make them all the more real. I'm still not letting myself really feel this is real, which meets a real shame.

I was talking to dh about it all this morning. All of us on here know so much about what a miracle a bfp is, and how many things can go wrong even after you get that little line on the stick. We can't just relax and tell everyone like a "normal" person might. We lose all that early excitement and optimism. I wish I didn't know chemical pregnancies existed. The packet on the pee stick says clearly that 2lines means pg. no ifs, buts, or warnings about miscarriages.

That all sounds quite down and depressed. I am happy, very happy. I keep smiling at dh and holding his hand. We've got a secret, a happy little miracle.

That's all a bit mememe. Sorry.

Gin, sounds like you have some wonderful follies there. Well done :)
Tetley, sorry about af. Good to have an appointment though. If its a HSG then you could get a nice little tube clean and a bfp too.
Lady so sorry about the pg announcement. Is your follow up appointment soon?

Buggery i just lost a massive post. Here I go again.

I am sorry about all the Afs that have arrived.
euro - i missed what you were told in your review. If only people did have an idea. \That's annoying about your LP though. I can't seem to get mine above 10 these days.

mrsd - oh of course you will ovulate again. But it's horrible when things don't follow the usual routine - I find it can set off a panic. People's pregnancies seem to fly don't they.

pout - of course you can sit on the fence. No pressure if you feel uncomfortable but of course it would be more than lovely to have you there

ladygee - I'm so sorry about your horrible dinner party and how you are feeling now. Did they know that you had just been through ivf? I really prefer to have news like that via email and then at least you don't have to put your best acting skills to use. I really find pregnancy announcements stick with me for quite some time. I still feel slightly sick about my friend's announcement a few weeks ago. She has now taken to email to tell me how big she is getting. Well goody but she knows how down we have been over the last few years, so I wish she wouldn't go on about it.

wine - boo and hiss to AF. I must say I find myself crying in the bath a lot. I don't ever remember crying like this before ttc. FB is probably a good icebreaker before meeting up. But to use your phrase, the pregnancy epidemic on FB smoked me out of there pretty quickly.

So apparently Level 1 tests can be done by GPs...but only in some areas I think. Normally you do these before you do level 2 which are the immune ones. I'm not sure whether it is necessary to do level 1 before ivf though.

Level 1s are:

1. Full blood count, liver function tests, Urea and Electrolytes
2. Thyroid function tests (both free T4 and TSH)
3. Immunoglobulin panel (IgG, IgA and IgM)
4. Autoimmune antibodies (must include anti-nuclear antibodies,

1. Anticardiolipin antibodies (both IgC and IgM)
2. Thrombophilia (must include lupus anticoagualant, Factor V Leiden

Thanks ladies. Actually I pretty much laughed off the comment. If that is all they could come up with to complain about in my performance, that's just fine. It did make me realise I hadn't been hiding my misery as well as I thought though.

AF arrived at the weekend (with an 11 day luteal phase - my equal shortest ever). So I'm on to cycle 18, with IUI. The annoying thing about the short LP is that it makes me quite likely to ov at a weekend and my clinic is closed at weekends. Why would they do that in an area where timing is critical? Grrrr! I'm actually taking the arrival of AF quite well. I think being off the crazy lady hormones helps. I am a bit resentful that I HAVEN'T HAD A DRINK SINCE FRICKIN FEBRUARY THOUGH. Ahem. But really. What the hell else can I do? No coffee, no alcohol, healthy food, immune thereapy, crazy lady hormones - I've tried it all.

Stasi, that is wonderful news! What cycle was this for you? Please do stick around for a while and let us know how you are doing.

pout you should have said, we could have popped into cafe nero for a coffee, don't go to starbucks mummy cafe- anymore, I didn't see you with your pee stick in your top pocket, DH and I went Patisserie Valarie on Sunday its what one does when one lives in Surrey

gin well done on the follies :)

lady big hugs

Sorry to those who have AF :(

I'm feeling pretty optimistic at the moment, not sure about what really, perhaps because Mr Nickers and I have agreed on some tiles for the kitchen, now we just have to put them up, not very confident about my treatment this month, we are now into shag week but i'm glad not to be on the steroids

Waves to everyone else

stasi congrats thats great news

Stasi brilliant news! I hope you've had an elated and I bet surreal journey south. I'm so chuffed for you, it was high time luck came your way. Please stay around and tell us about your symptoms and progress x

ladygee pregnancy announcement commiseration and sympathy. How rubbish for you - did your friend know you were trying? If it helps I've just sat in the bath and wept like a 5 year old. It felt like a good release. Not having a 2012 baby has hit me too - I hate odd numbers! and in a proper obsessive real way not just in an endearing way My period came very slowly this morning (cue implantation mentalling) but acupuncture smoked the bugger out. I'm now unashamedly sat on the sofa with a hot water bottle in my best pyjamas drinking happiness tea. I'm ok, will dust down and neck a bit more vitex. But if the nhs fob me off tomorrow may they fear my wrath!!

pout of course fence sit! We will love you just the same if you don't make a meet up yet. I found a little Facebook bantering made it feel easier to meet kitty. We could text you a photo of us toasting you if you can't face it! These things take time to feel up for I think. But if you do come I expect all your buttons to be covered in pretty kidston cloth!

gin that's amazing! I hope the golden egg is in the clutch.

tetley sorry af got you too x

mrsden you will ovulate again! I'm so like that for the worry. When my period was light this morning I was boring moaning to mr wine about the menopause and now it's heavy I'm sad I'm not pregnant!

Monday wave to everyone missed x

Congratulations stasi ? what fantastic news! I?m so pleased for you, enjoy your holiday and take it easy.

Euro ? sorry for the rubbish work comment at your appraisal, it's not the kind of thing you need to be told.

Wine ? I?m glad you had a nice break. Sorry about the spotting, I have my fingers crossed that it doesn?t turn into AF. Your tea sounds absolutely delicious, as always!

Gin ? what a great number of follies, well done! When do you go back?

Joycep ? Are the level one tests things like thyroid function? I know I?ve read it somewhere but can?t remember. I?m not sure at what point GPs would do level one tests, would they do them now if you asked? Or is it something that kicks in further down the line? I?m waiting not very patiently for the follow-up appt on weds before deciding what to do next.

I?m not sure about PMing more than one person? I wonder if it can be done similar to email where you put a semi-colon inbetween names?

Tetley ? sorry AF arrived at the weekend, it?s rubbish how our bodies and minds seem to play so many tricks on us.

Mrsd ? I really hope AF stays away for you over Easter.

Kitty ? I read that article too. Whilst I?m sure many of us could have written the anecdotes she alludes to, and some of the feelings too, it did unfortunately come across as slightly ranty at times and, as pout says, it was all very final so I didn?t entirely relate to it either.

Well, my strange spotting from last week has basically just continued and got heavier, my temp dropped this morning so AF will no doubt arrive in full force in the next few hours.

I thought we?d done a decent job of pulling ourselves through after DH?s miserable birthday but we had friends over on Saturday night and, well, you can guess what?s coming? they are 11 weeks pregnant. This friend was my last glimmer of hope, she?s a friend from school, we got married at roughly the same time and I didn?t think they were in a rush for children. Turns out I was wrong and it has hit me harder than ever. I keep crying at the slightest thing and have a heavy heart, I so want to pick myself up, for me and DH, but that combined with realising there?ll be no baby in 2012 is a tough one to take.

Sorry to be miserable on a Monday, I'm clinging on to the fact that there's a four day weekend to look forward to and we have no plans to see any pregnant or potentially pregnant friends.

Waves to everyone else!

Wow stasi congratulations. I was pondering yesterday how you mentioned feeling sick all the time! It is wonderful news.

This thread is so damn nice, there have been some really lovely posts
I definitely agree that this is a great place to be. Actually, for me, meeting you ladies has been the only good thing to have come out of TTC.

lisa I did chuckle when you said how you say you live in Surrey when you want to sound posh. I tell everyone I live in Surrey all the time even though there was an article in our local paper saying that this area definitely wasn't DH has been sworn to secrecy and is under pain of death not to tell my sister.
Weirdly we were shopping in Sutton at the weekend.... I was the grumpy, face like thunder woman trundling around Wilkos

gin Cripes, you are a follicle machine

mess How did the shopping go? Is your DD going to be Snow White or Cinderella at the wedding??!

euro what a crappy comment at a time when you least need it. Sounds to me like they just had to add something very slightly negative to your otherwise good appraisal.

Wine glad that you enjoyed your break away. It is rubbish about your AF especially when you had a good feeling & such a good looking chart by the sounds of it. Has AF turned into more than spotting yet?

joycep what is level 1 testing?

mrsd It hit me too that I won't be having a baby this year. I hate that thought seeing as I kept telling myself last year that it will have to have happened by this year.

tetley sorry about your AF too (also just realised that I abbreviated your name before to ahhh I geddit now [slow on the uptake smiley]!

kitty I read that Bibi Lynch article and while it made me sad I didn't totally relate to it. I suppose though that the difference is she has lost all hope. I did feel it a bit though at the end when she said that she will never know what it is for a child to love her more than anyone else in her life ever will.

As for the meet up, can I say at this point that while I am definitely not a pervert with a penchant for reading about sludgey periods and bad sex, can I sit on the fence about coming. I am really chicken about it and keep swinging from thinking yes I can conquer the irrational fear of the unknown because I really want to meet you all to wanting to hide behind the sofa! If you could include me in on the details that would be great just in case I get a grip by then.

Sorry that I have missed loads of you lovelies out but big waves to you.

Wow lots going on this weekend, congratulations stasi that's fab news, it's always encouraging when you hear news like that... Keep us updated..

wine so sorry you're feeling horrid, that was me last month so I can really relate to what you are saying :(

Gin good work on the injections, very impressed!

Well my news is AF came on Saturday in full force, I'd even managed to convince myself that even after the on Wednesday, I might still be pregnant, even after a BFN on Thursday with a stick (god i'm such and plonker sometimes). I'm usually so sensible about it but thought that every AF sympton was a pregnancy one, so i'm still a bit weepy at the moment and I'm having problems keeping it to myself. I WILL pull myself together this month...

Anyway on a brighter note (i think) I've got an appointment on Thursday for my xray and ink scan (I can't remember the official name of this). But may also have to make a mad dash to the hospital today for my day 2 bloods, that I gave on Friday (mix up with the bleed etc). I'm just waiting for my gyno to ring me back. So all is not lost yet.

Just wanted to drop in to say, great news Stasi. I am so very pleased for you and hope very much that all goes well and you have a brilliant pregnancy. Congratulations!

hi ladies,
omg stasi - this is amazing news!! After everything you have been through you totally deserve this and i am wishing you a very boring straightforward pregnancy. What amazing news for a Monday morning. Remind us of how long you have been trying ?

wine - i?m glad you had a lovely time away. I?m sorry about the spotting. Obviously i?m still wishing it was something more for you. Has the temps gone up again or down? I feel close to our little community as well on here, well put wine {smile]

nelly at cyber stalker talk..argh! What a lovely post though and I totally agree about like minded people etc. I think I need a placid horse. Every horse i ever ride can tell straight away i?m a pushover and they will always take me for granted!

gin - wow 18 follicles! That?s amazing. I thought you only started injecting a few days ago...do they grow that quickly?!

ladygee - i know it?s so infuriating how every step throws up more questions. I?ve spent the weekend trying to decide what to do next and now having liaised with someone on FF, they have thrown out there that I should be having the Level1 tests before going to immune testing.

Has anyone had any level 1 testing with their GPs?

Also, I was going to PM everyone with some dates to meet but is there a way of PMing to more than one person or has it got to be an individual message to everyone??