TTC/Pregnancy on Prednisolone or similar part 6

Ahh, brilliant news PQ!

Ari, Oh, you're more on the ball than I am , maybe the HRT I'm on has befuddled my memory! I'm sure something was 16. Maybe my AMH? Or Progesterone. Gawd knows.

I am having cramps again today. Not feeling very hopeful for a BFP. I am 7dpo and always have cramps at this time of my cycle. Will test on Monday unless I end up not having too. I won't be able to exercise my "letting cup o' wee cool to room temp" as discussed with ari last month as I will be sharing the loo with about 10 others (not all at the same time I hasten to add).

Pred is making me bloody ravenous this month! Oh and last night I tried the Cyclogest up the front. Ewwww, won't be doing that again in a hurry if I can help it!

Ohh fab news PQ lovely! You are over the 9 week dr s danger zone. Can I just ask what did dr s do differently for u and free as u both seen to have similar stories? X

i'm sending you positive thoughts too ari. Sorry I don't know much about the numbers so I'm not much help (but I have "low fertility" accroding to my AMH level and...that doesn't seem to be a problem at the moment (let's just put the chromosome issues to one side for a moment)).

Had my final scan with the EPAU today, 10+4 and could see hands and feet waving this time. The consultant was really excited and asked me when [on earth] would I relax - I said when I am holding a baby! I think everyone can relate to that? I took part in another interview and long survey today. I think I still must be off the scale on the nuts/anxiety scores. Oh well, hope that the research goes toward improving services for women with recurrent miscarriage and general care in early pregnancy.

hope everyone has a nice easter weekend planned (or as nice as can be, or just as well as can be hoped for - thinking of you choccy).

ari don't despair yet. I can't seem to locate my results at the moment but I think my FSH was about 16 and Mr S said he thought that there was still a good chance of the SO working for me. The general comments on my FSH by him and also the NHS consultant that I was was that it was high but nothing untoward for my age - and I'm 2 years behind you so I'd say you're doing ok.

snoopy I had mega painful boobs during the luteal phase of my last cycle, but not as much on the first three cycles on Pred (when I was also taking Letrozole).

Hi all,

I am on hols in Brittany at moment but just wanted to say choccy so sorry to hear the news about your Dad. I really glad your taking some time out, your going to need it to stay as relaxed as you can. The others are right you don't want to be bothering about work issues when you need to be looking after you. Take it easy. x

Pretty sure BFN for me, so if someone wants to move me down the list again feel free.

Can I ask has anyone had really painful breast/s on pred? I was convinced I was pregnant again as last few days left side only?? has been really hurting, not just sore. To touch it's been a spikey stabbing feeling. Never had that before an it's still there despite a negative? Getting worried about it, wouldn't have been so bothered if had positive and could have put it down to that.

Catch up properly when I return.

x

Hi Freelance that is so funny re the finger issue. Made me laugh my head off. Funny I didn't notice any smell though. Perhaps mine were duds. I remember I asked my DH to look after one (still in it's pack) whilst I was bridesmaid at sisters wedding. By the time I got it out it was all melted. I still tried to put it up but it fell straight back out and I had to scoop if off the toilet floor. Quite disgusting really. Another time some came out and I told my mum that I had seen something white when I went to the loo. I thought it was half an embryo. What a nightmare. People don't know how you cope or why you put yourself through it but you just do. .

If you was asking about the NKC test and being tested twice I was tested about 4 years ago and NKC issue was negative i.e. not a problem. After the 2nd MC after DS was born the dr tested me again and I had VHKC. dr said it can change more so after each MC.

Taking 40g of pred is definitely like having the alarm clock set to 4 am. Seems to be a trend.

I think this thread shows that life is a shit sometimes but that we are all immensely strong and resilient and self-aware enough to find out about NKCs etc, bereavement counselling, IVF options, whatever, so as to take whatever action we need to take to get ourselves through whatever life throws at us intact.

Spoken to work, all sorted. I may go in Monday week, if I feel up to it at the time, otherwise, assuming scan is all well, I'm expected back on 18th. Type(s) of leave TBC. I am so so lucky with my boss, it really makes all the difference at times like this. I immediately felt a weight off my shoulders knowing I can just concentrate on Dad and me and minichoccy the next two weeks. I quite like saying minichoccy, it's feeling nice to personalise it, even though it's early, although wouldn't use it away from here or with dh for obvious reasons. Dh refers to "bump" but the only bump ATM is my massive Mr Greedy belly so it's not really an enjoyable term to hear! I just can't compute what I'll do if the scan is bad news, but equally I know I won't get through the next 13 days if I don't keep thinking positively. So thats what I am going to do, one day at a time.

Ahh I am such a "gun jumper" ! Thinking of free Mentalling about intrallipids in LA before she went then needed them and look at her now. choccy it does seem sad that u, PQ and kittens can all relate. I guess we all have to face these things in life but no one is ever prepared. How can u be? Shows what a strong thread this is. X

choccy, when I went to see the bereavement counseling service they were very clear about the fact that my "slot" becoming available would be based on the right person for me becoming available rather than just the next available counselor. The services provided by people like Cruse are free and they have a selection of volunteers, so if you did end up with someone who you didn't feel was helping they would find you someone more appropriate. I suspect, when it's provided by work, they are limited by who they have access to. I went to a phsychotherapist years ago and wasted about 9 months with her because I didn't realise how much of a difference it made having someone you feel comfortable with. I just used to leave feeling annoyed with her!

Anyway, do what you feel right. The meditation sounds like a good thing. I should look into it myself really, although I am somewhat unfocussed so don't fancy my chances!

Thanks everyone those thoughts are really helpful, especially kittens and PQ - you've been here all too recently yourselves and I know you speak from experience. You're right about the risk of unanticipate-able things setting me off PQ - I've got a few too many ET matters on that have some sort of PITA factor involved to want to take that risk til I'm ready. I don't like doing things half hearted. I'll talk to work later today so I can get it done and don't have to think about it any more.

I'll think about bereavement counselling too, kittens, I promise. I'm not sure it's really me - I went once after a friend died and found the woman actively unhelpful though she was laid on by his employer and I just took up the offer so it wasn't my choice of person anyway. Mind you, I never thought I'd be one for guided meditation for relaxing and taking time to myself, but I'm finding that very good, so I'm not going to exclude counselling at this early stage!!

Duggs re Egypt and this was obv just my experience but I had the most awful upset tummy for half the week we were there. And I was keeping hydrated and eating sensibly. I have a feeling I shouldn't have hit the squid as hard as I did one night early on, but it did leave me having to run from poolside to loo quite often and feeling rather drained. Which you will be at 5 weeks anyway of course. Overall, I think you should go. :)

Thanks for advice. I'm not even PG so worrying about nothing yet. Great duffs could be my new nane euro way I looked at it was ivf gives some more answers so even if they aren't the answers we want we have them and can make decisions rather than living this was for a long time. Fingers crossed for IUI though as presumably u can try next month. Al positive steps forward. X

just quickly for choccy - everyone is different but I think you will be in shock for a good two weeks and it is a great idea for you to be away from work for a decent spell. Even if you think you have it together it will only take one nasty client or counsel on the other side to set you off and absolutely ruin your day.

I went to my brother in law's wedding the day after I arrived back from dad's funeral in NZ (three days after the funeral) and behaved like an absolute loon. There was no way I could have been at work. I wish I had listened to everyone else and taken a bit more time out from work and other commitments. And you have baby choccy to think of too. So listen to everyone here!!

Duggs There would appear no real risk to holidaying abroad, I think the precaution is if something were to go wrong. Egypt is fine having stayed there the year before last, just make sure you have travel insurance as someone mentioned. I would however get the sign off from your Dr's can't recall if you are with Mr S, but I think after all you've been through it maybe worth their view.

PQ like the analytical points!

Choccy Sorry to hear you've had a panic attic, hopefully its just this once and probably just the impact of being back at home. Take the time off from work, in the big scheme of things work is very insignificant - I know sometimes we don't think so but it is!

Free was going to ask have you had your 20 week scan and did you find out?!?! Being very nosey as cannot decide whether to find out or not at 20 weeks - DH is determined to find out so I guess thats it.

choccy, definitely take the time off. Anyone would be offered compassionate/bereavement leave and that's not even taking into account your pregnancy worries. Put yourself first. Your employers have said they are happy for you to do so and your dad would want you to do that too. I wouldn't feel obliged to rush back. Will work let you "play by ear" as to when you are ready to return?

I was thinking too, I know it's all very raw and recent, but it might be worth applying for bereavement counseling. It takes a good few weeks/months before getting a regular slot and it could be really helpful in managing your grief and stress whilst you are also mentalling about pregnancy. I'm finding the combination of grief, hormones (in my case, mostly artificial) and prednisolone massively overwhelming at times and am anxiously awaiting my counseling appointments to start.

You are doing very well choccy, but remember that you are not expected to be brave and soldier on all the time so indulge yourself and let others indulge you too with a bit of TLC. xx

duggs that's great news! (I just typed your name as "duffs". Let's hope that you are!

free it's great that you have reached viability. What a fantastic landmark.
As for me, I was supposed to start the IVF drugs about 10 days ago but couldn't face it. We wanted to put it off for one month, but as our clinic iss moving the way the dates work out, we can't - it had to be then or in 3 months' time. We decided on the latter because my head really wasn't in the right place. I think it is right that it is the mental side of IVF that is the toughest, at least for me. I think I will be fine when I am actually doing it, but getting myself to the mental point where I am ready to start is really difficult. Anyway, we have decided to try IUI in the meantime, but that might prove tricky. My period came a couple of days earlier than expected, which means I will most likely ovulate at a weekend - when my clinic is closed. Grrrr.

I found duggs' egg attrition rate a little scary. I'm on cycle 18 now with not even a hint of a BFP. Maybe I have an egg quality issue too. There has got to be something more than an NK cell issue, because I have been on the Pred for the last 4 cycles.

digi how exciting that babydigi is almost here!

pq thanks for advice reassuring.
Yes dunnit pleased and v pleased for you.
choccy take the time. No one expects you back companies don't thank u for it so take the time. You will regret it if u go back too early u will flip out at something small. Big hug u seem to be doing so well. Hopefully no more panic attacks x

Yay duggs sooo pleased to hear your news. You must be so thrilled. Your eggs are ok!!!!!

Abney Have you tried using the Cyclogest up the back passage? I've found it the easiest option. It doesn't have to go that far up (just an inch) and once its there you can not feel a thing and the strong muscles hold it in place. I never have any seepage either. Maybe give it a go.

Didn't make it to work today after all. Perhaps I was being over optimistic about how I'd feel once I got home and back to my own comforts and properly relaxed. Woke up at 5ish having what I can only describe as a panic attack, which was scary, never had one before. It took about half an hour to clear completely and for my chest to stop hurting.

Work have once again been brilliantly understanding about the whole thing, and just said to dh (he called for me this morning) that I must look after myself and leave them to handle everything. I'm thinking of staying off work until Weds 18th, after my scan, because with only Weds and Thurs morning that I could be at work next week, and my scan on Tuesday 17th (followed by intralipids if I need them), Monday week would be an "odd" day. And if the scan isn't good, I'd go straight off sick anyway. Not that I'm thinking negatively, just it's always a possibility as we all know only too well... I'm thinking that I work bloody hard, and maybe just maybe, for this couple of weeks, I should take work at their word and take the time, whether we eventually call it compassionate, antenatal, or holiday...

Just thinking aloud here, but does that sound sensible/reasonable?

congrats on your latest milestone free, that's wonderful! I would love to borrow a couple of dresses for my holiday too, many thanks. I had visions of me hot footing it to the nearest mall when we landed in Orlando and picking up a Homer Simpson style mu-mu (that still appeals actually...). My work clothes are getting more and more ridiculous but only two and a half more weeks in the office until we head away and I can kick back in the mu-mu.

speaking of holidays...duggs I was really thrilled to hear your news. DH was too as he's been following your progress avidly as he and I both think that IVF with screening is the way for us next if this current pregnancy has any trisomy issues. I think of my 6 mc 2 were chromosome issues and 4 were NK issues.

In terms of Egypt, just putting down my thoughts (sorry, am in analytical work mode):

1. flying is fine
2. airport x-rays are technically fine but I ask to have a manual search which has never been turned down
3. you can stay hydrated and not roast yourself in the sun. Think of all the Vitamin D!
4. sickness is a bit of an issue...but it would be dehydration that causes the problems so like kittens says taking your own diorylte (sp) would be one way to address that. And you can be completely paranoid and imagine you are on a street market in India and just drink coke and eat deep fried vegetables (how my mum survived a month in India with no sickness - she is a dietician so this unhealthy yet effective diet caused her major psychological traumas).
5. hospitals will be fine
6. at 5 weeks you would have had your 4 wk intralipid (if that's part of the plan)
7. make sure you have good travel insurance that covers pregnancy

Only thing I can think against it would be if you had spotting or bleeding - Mr S grounded me at 6 weeks becuase of that - and not for any reason other than my peace of mind so that I could get it checked out if something happend, not that flying or being in another country would make the spotting worse or affect the ulitmate outcome.

I'm another one who had NK cells retested when I had the v early mc on the first round of the treatment last year. In all seriousness, I do think Mr S considers the cost carefully. Eg he really didn't want me to pay for the AMH test as he had seen so many women pay for it and then for their fertility outcomes not to be related to the result. He also said he would support me with IVF (with his treatment alongside) but really didn't want me to spend my money on it yet until I tried doing the programme for a few cycles first. But with all these things - and it echoes what duggs and frozen have said, we really need to be our own advocates, trust our instincts, and do our own research!

great to hear from you choccy. Hope you are managing to juggle everything.

Hi and a big wave to everyone else