Fantastic 40+ thread - part 6

sorry, another one, maybe I really am pregnant, because I can't remember s**t, though possibley, that's just due to the amount of wine I've drunk over the years

miaalexandrasmummy, it brought me to tears to read your story, I wont say sorry, because that doesn't really cover it, but I hope that you are doing as well as you can and that you have the best of luck with your ongoing ttcing.

sorry gum, not AF, BFN, still hope then? FX.

Hi everyone, thanks for the all the congrats and support. And thanks also to those who I asked to share their stories earlier in the week, italian, bean and knicky for starters.

I have been laying low after my BFP on Tuesday, I'm still a bit freaked out and trying to stay both positive and realistic. I had a blood test for HCG at 13DPO which was 29.2, trying not to read too much into it, but it both feels low and maybe ok, so will wait till next week for another one. Has anyone had a successful pregnancy with this sort of level? Also have an early scan booked in next week. Feel like crap, mostly tired, but think I still have this rubbish virus that is going around.

There has been so much on here over the last few days, that I cant even begin to get my head around it. Congrats to wendyb and glad that you are feeling a bit better blackcats, I will be going down the path of supplements next if this one doesn't work out...good luck.

Sorry AF got you gum, I feel exactly like you do in the first week of the 2ww, really positive, though I think because you know that nothing could have gone right or wrong by then, so its all good if you know what I mean :) Though I feel even more like that when I'm ovulating, those happy hormones can convince you of anything .

I really like that fact that some of you have been here for so loneg and come back as graduates or currently pg, it makes this thread more robust and fulfilling if you know what I mean. And knowing that if it all goes wrong this time, I have a place to come back to where people will understand. Has anyone ever met up in RL? Would anyone be interested in starting a casual group, to meet up for a drink sometimes so we can share our stories and knowledge more easily?

Diege how do you do it with 6!! Flies you made my laugh, I remember reading something a few days back, that said you thought you would be back on the CBFM come summer after your baby - does that mean you will be ttcing, with a newborn? If you are, them I am very impressed, for about the first 18mths after my son was born, the whole idea of ttc continued to freak me out!

Hope everyone is feeling ok this afternoon and at least has some chocolate or wine lined up for later. :)

Fireflies - 42, blocked tube, x 2 failed IVF cycles, currently 24+2 with first child
knickyknocks - 39 (but only just still), TTC#2, 1 M/C, 1 chem preg, DD 2.5 years old, cycle 13 (ish)
beangrower - 40 (early Nov last year). TTC#2, DS 2yo exactly, no BFP since I stopped b-f about 14 monthits ago, DP has lazy swimmers - cycle v regular and tests didn't reveal anything much except for DP issue (and I'm not 20 any more obviously).
Beattiebow - 41 - 29 weeks pg with #6. 2 miscarriages, several chemical pregnancies. Preg after 16 months trying. Used CBFM and Progesterone. (tried temping and clomid also).
Italiangreyhound 47, DD aged 7 (from IUI), MMC 2006, IUI/IVF/Donor IVF all failed, awaiting FET donor cycle March 2012
Latestarter - 43 TTC#2, DS 2.2, 4 weeks pg, 2 MC

Thanks for the info blackcats, on ovary massage. Really interesting. I will be adding that to my regime for DC 2. Is a bit like Chinese belly warming, I think.

Hi fatlady good to hear from you and that you are still cheering us on from the sidelines.

gum v sorry to hear of your BFN.

I hope all the other lovely 40 something's are doing ok and enjoying the lovely sunshine. Ff xx

gum, I'm so sorry to hear about the BFN. You sound like me last month, despite sore boobs, cramps etc etc, I never believed I was truly pregnant. With the other times for me, I agree with you, that I just knew that I was.

I can only imagine the sadness you're feeling right now with the thoughts of that it's time to let it go, but also the confusion of saying to yourself to keep on trying. I try to convince myself to have a very laissez-faire attitude about TTC (and usually fail miserably at some point in the 2WW). In this life, I think we have no choice but to try to live in the moment. There are things in life we just can't change - and whilst sad things happen - fantastic things happen too. I think there's always hope and believe that when you're least expecting it, the most amazing things can happen (and that's one of the best things about this life). I wish those moments would just bloody hurry up though!

Hugs xx

Morning All(I'm in Oz, so it is morning here, I think it's still last night for you).

So much going on, it is difficult to keep up.

So sorry, Wendy I meant to congratulate you earlier and didn't. So congratulations! It's wonderful to hear of other's bfp's.

I got a BFN this morning (at 11 DPO), and despite trying to convince myself that the sore boobs, funny taste in my mouth,tiredness, constipation etc were all signs of pregnancy, I really haven't believed it this time, so I am not surprised. I always feel quite optimistic in the first week of the 2ww, but then it wanes, unless I really am pregnant. I know it sounds daft, but the other times I was pregnant, I kind of knew.

More and more, I think it is time to let go. But I say that and change my mind too. It's a confusing time. I wish a pregnancy would just happen, then I wouldn't have to go through this awful letting go, grieving process. I really had hoped for one more to complete my family. But maybe I don't get to decide this one?

Anyway, I'm not trying to be negative, I think I just have to accept that this is the way it is.

Looking forward to the bistro in the Snug, Deige. Little Samuel will be joining us for strained carrots, I presume?

Just popped in to give all my old friends a big hug and check how you are doing. Glad to see that normal service has been resumed [slight lupine snarl ]....

Welcome to all the new ladies - I truly hope that you find this place as loving, supportive and sanity saving as I did.

Love to you all.

www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=169246003159191
ezinearticles.com/?Pelvic-Massage-For-Fertility&id=3898941

sorry forgot to tick the box!

Hi all,
congrats to those of you are pregnant.
So sorry to hear the very sad stories from MiaAlexandra and Angelgeorgie. I can't imagine the pain you and your families went though.

italiangreyhound thanks for the suggestion. The hospital did tell us about the remembrance book and whilst it did appeal in the end we didn't do anything about it, maybe if we hadn't had an earlier scan and 2 photos from that as keepsakes we would have done. I had a MC at home in my early 20s at 12 weeks and found the fact that I had nothing- no scan, no keepsakes, no name written down, made it hard over the years to deal with. It was like it had never happened or never existed at all.

So ovary massage just came about as I read that acupunture can be good to improve blood flow, i wondered if then massage would help do the same thing and sure enough I found a few mentions of it being useful , nothing much but then i'm rather busy at the moment and there may well be more if anyone has the time or inclination to delve.
Here are a couple of links- note most should only be done after menstruation and before the luteal phase (so stop when you ovulate)

www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=169246003159191
ezinearticles.com/?Pelvic-Massage-For-Fertility&id=3898941

I take Zita west supplements (expensive!), extra folic acid -supermarket own brand (daily in total with the Zita west i take 1,200ug), 2 extra Vitamin D tablets (Boots own brand, fairly cheap) , and now Royal Jelly! (expensive but i'm also very tired at the moment so hope it will help with that) oh and DHA (another Zita west supplement). There's coenzyme Q10 in the zita west at 40mg, i shall resist buying it seperately as it will all add up to far too much.

My story is , just turned 44, MMC just over 1 month ago, tomorrow would have been my 16 week midwife app :( Have 19 year old daughter and would like a child with my new partner (he also has a child, though far younger than mine is). Got pregnant second month of trying but I was always worried about it sticking. Now TTC again. Hoping the fact that i've been taking supplements for longer might help with egg quality, as last time I was really only on them for about 6 weeks. Although I am a realist I am also a great believer in the mind-body link so I have to be positive.

Thanks Diege there appears to be more to this story than meets the eye!!!! Yes, I m thinking of starting to wean Phoebe soon it's scarey. Don t really know what I m doing (what's new there?) what do you advise about starting her on in your experience? Xxx
LOL hi xxx
FF hi & thanks xx hope you re well? Xx
^Wendy* meant to say congrats xx
Love to all xxxx

Hi Everyone
Hope you are all doing ok. Think the coast is clear now?.

Blackcats how are you? Am intrigued to hear more about the ovarian massage.
Knicky like the sound of the reflexology. I had an Ayuvedic massage once and came out floating too and found people suddenly seemed super friendly and smiley. Will be interested to hear the results of your blood tests.
Hippy ? nice of you to pop in. Perfect post in the circumstances. ;-)
MiaAlexandrasmummy good to hear from you again. Loved your wedding story. So cool!
Italian hope you are ok after the crash and dealing with the injections ok.
Angel hope you sort out your jobs soon. Must be exciting, thinking of weaning Phebs. Already!!
Diege ? yes, bring on the Friday banquet!!

Right, my memory is truly failing me, so sorry for recommending EPO and Royal Jelly for egg quality. The supps I came across recommended for good egg quality are Royal Jelly and CoQ10. I took 2x35mg of CoQ10 a day. Is supposed to promote blood flow to the ovaries, create great quality eggs (especially age-related egg-decline), helps prevent miscarriage (so take throughout pregnancy). CoQ10 is found in every cell of the human body. Reduces risk of pre-eclampsia. Make sure you get a pure version of the supplement without other added vits. Royal Jelly is good for both men and women. I took 3x500mg a day. Supposed to produce fantastic eggs and can improve sperm count. I got all this info from Fertility Friends (sorry regulars, I know, here I go mentioning this one again). There is also a lot on helping implantation and preventing miscarriage, low progesterone/B6 etc so is worth a read. Here?s the link to the thread: www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=226042.550. Go to the original post dated 31/10/10. EPO is good for CM, so no harm taking that if you?re TTC.

Right, off to get some lunch and bodge some homework together for my course tonight.

Hi Gum, Bean, Beattie, Tina, Lol and all the other lovely 40somethings. xx

Hi Angel - I must say you are very gracious with your acceptance of Missbone's apology - I am not sure that I would have been so forgiving. As you say though, in the scheme of things it doesn't come close to what you've been through. On a different subject, I'm thinking about starting to wean Samuel. He isn;t a massive milk drinker but has been knawing at his fists at night, and becoming very interested when I'm eating in front of him. I think I might start 'tastes' next week, so that by the time he starts nursery he will at least have some idea, ready for when he becomes properly hungry. Do you think you'll start P soon?
Italian you poor thing. How are you feeling now?
Meant to say a big congrats to Wendy too - what eciting news, esp after all you've been through x
Gum hope you're ok?
Re: stats, as a non-ttc-er I don't really qualify, but as a graduate of the thread I started ttc-ing at 41 for number 5 and was lucky enough to fall pregnant with dc 5 after 10 mths trying. During that time I did have an mc at 6 weeks, and at least one chemical pregnancy. Previous to that (between dc 3 and dc4) I had a mmc at 10 weeks, and have had 1 erpc. It did notice that my cycles changed quite dramatically at 40 (to the month) from 27 days to around 21. My luteul phase dropped from 13 days to between 5 and 8. Taking agnus castus did work for me (lengthened to 10 days at best) and I'd just started vit B6 the month I fell pregnant with dc5. I found temping and opks really useful, though never really got a convinced pos on the sticks (they did satisfy my urge to wee on sticks though!).
Hope everyone is ok - I will sort out a snug banquet for Friday!

italian thanks for the mention - just planning my next IUI currently - hoping to start in a couple of weeks time - I've started to change my mind set I think and am starting to feel a lot more relaxed about things, trying to enjoy my life as it is without the obsession of watching a calendar and fretting I'll never conceive again. Life's too short to be worrying all them time, I've got a fantastic dh and dd and after a bad time in 2010 life couldn't be better at the moment -v would be great to get the icing on the cake with a baby but worrying about it all the time won't make it happen!

bean just to let you know I used an opk last night and got a very strong postive (day 13) so I guess I'll be ovulating today on day 14 - a lot later than i thought - luckily we had an impromptu bd yesterday which proved to be very well timed lol
funnily I've got an app on my phone called my days which predicted the surge correctly - despite my cycle being a bit inconsistent lately, it's really good. I'm just so happy I got a positive, must mean I'm a little more relaxed now!

hope everyone else is well - hi to wendy and congrats! hope all goes ok for you xx

Oh Italian sorry about your accident.hope not too much damage , glad you re ok xxxx

Thanks very much to all my old " muckers" for their support.xxxxx
Italian,Diege & Hippy amongst others.As always you there supporting me & you ( plus Gum) know some of the trials & tribulations I ve been through.
Italian know the " Antz" you re on about ... So cute!!!! Thanks for the link. Xxxx
All the new ladies please don t let this incident put you off this thread as I ve been posting on here for a while & nothing like this has ever happened before.
Missbone I accept your apology. All of this really Isn t that important in the grand scheme of things and when I look at ny life & where I am now to a year ago I m incredibly happy so although your comments outraged me they didn t upset me.I also return to my life philosophy now: after surviving Georgie nothing can or will ever touch the enormity of that.Good luck x

Up at silly o clock as Phebs woke hungry ... Is this the start of weaning????!!! Mmm... xxx

Wendyb Congratulations! So excited for you.

Hi to all you lovely people, could not read and run but propping eyelids open with matchsticks to type. Must sleep now, back soon.

xxxx Is

Oh sorry that looks like my name is darker, normally we highlight our names by **. Should I highlight them all?

Fireflies - 42, blocked tube, x 2 failed IVF cycles, currently 24+2 with first child
knickyknocks - 39 (but only just still), TTC#2, 1 M/C, 1 chem preg, DD 2.5 years old, cycle 13 (ish)
beangrower - 40 (early Nov last year). TTC#2, DS 2yo exactly, no BFP since I stopped b-f about 14 months ago, DP has lazy swimmers - cycle v regular and tests didn't reveal anything much except for DP issue (and I'm not 20 any more obviously).
Beattiebow - 41 - 29 weeks pg with #6. 2 miscarriages, several chemical pregnancies. Preg after 16 months trying. Used CBFM and Progesterone. (tried temping and clomid also).
Italiangreyhound 47, DD aged 7 (from IUI), MMC 2006, IUI/IVF/Donor IVF all failed, awaiting FET donor cycle March 2012

hello ladies, thought I would pop on and say hi to everyone and a big hug for all. It?s that extra day we only get every 4 years! Has anyone asked anyone to marry them!

hi Hippy long time no hear. BB you too, thinking of you.

blackcat thinking of you my dear. Please can I suggest something and do not want to upset anyone on here who has miscarried. My missed mc was a long time ago now; in fact it was over 6 years ago. I am sure I mentioned this before but I did write a 'name' and a little bit of writing in the hospital's book of remembrance (miscarriage book). It was kept on the gynie ward and I went back about two or three times over the following year or so to take a look at it. For me it was very helpful to have a 'place'. Other people I have known have done stuff like planting a tree or planting a plant (could be a public place if you think you will move house soon). I have only just seen this website www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/support/ I have no idea if you will find it helpful but there are some lovely ideas on here including the Forget-me-not meadow www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/support/marking-your-loss/forget-me-not-meadow/ If it is not your thing and makes you feel sad - so sorry - and please ignore this bit.

angelgeorgie you are a super lovely lady and I send a huge hug to you. I hope dear Ant gets a fab job - sorry, every time I write that name I think of the cartoon Antz with the Woody Allen voice! Just trying to lighten the mood with a bit of cartoon magic!

Hugs to all of us trying, babydust to all of us ladies in waiting!

missbone I hope the pregnancy hormones calm down.

Fireflies hugs to you and wishing all the best to all you other pregnant ladies too.

I had a car accident tonight, luckily it was NOT my fault and I was not going very fast. Someone crashed into the side of me. But we were on a roundabout so it was all quite slow. I ended up being brought home in that big vehicle that carries the car on the back of a flat bed; I had to drive onto it, very ineptly!

Popped in to see how my mates, Italian, Angel, Gum, Lol, BB, FF, Miasmum, Diege etc are doing and am sorry to see all this bad feeling and rudeness. This is not how we behave in the snug.

Most of the new ladies are here for support and they have definitely come to the right place for that. :)

I have been chatting to some people on here for over 2 years - we built up supportive friendships by displaying mutual respect.

Missbone - I can't help but think you're looking for trouble. If you can't play nice - please get out of the sandpit! :(

Angel I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. I have no idea what has come over me in the last 72 hrs but I have lost the plot and lost my way. It's like a hostile, defensive and intolerant alien has take me over. In my desperation to defend my position on here I have only caused you (and Hopeful and others) anger and, much, much worse for you, pain. I am absolutely devastated my words have stooped to insults and hurt, despite this being the very last thing I imagined I could be capable of. When I read my increasingly desperate posts (desperate in that I so wanted to not be misunderstood and for people to 'get' my drift) I can see the horrible absence of compassion, tolerance or humility. I can totally understand, Angel, you comparing me to a troll. I am disgusted and ashamed that I could allow my dogmatic opinions to sully the friendhips I have made on here in recent months. I don't expect my apology to soothe you or assuage your anger any time soon, Angelgeorgie (and you too, Hopeful) but if I can at least be sure that you will accepy my deepest apology I may be able to sleep tonight. I've said it in the past ,Angel, that your tragic experiences have both confounded and inspired me; I'm not convinced every woman could come through the other side as you have. I am mortified that my posts have shown a complete lack of respect for you, your family and Georgie. Please forgive me.

Angel xxx

Thanks Beangrower & Italian xxxx