Fantastic 40+ thread - part 6

thanks bean. You are right, I can't expect everything to be 100% perfect at this age - otherwise I would be pg already... I can only do what I can do, as you said, to make things as fertile-friendly as possible. And as my DH pointed out, we only need one egg and one sperm to get on friendly terms! (wow, he makes it all sound so easy.)

Hi Mia - if you're GP thinks that's 'normal' then perhaps don't worry? I think at our age we're not going to have low FSH. Apparently the figure can change month by month too. I guess all the usual rules apply - keep healthy, eat a fab diet, do some exercise, try to stay relaxed. Otherwise you could try DHEA discussed here and acupuncture is supposed to be good for getting FSH under control though yours doesn't sound like it's running away.

I've had a few of those moments over the last year or so; have realised that it's normal to have them but it's important to stay positive where possible and remember numbers are just numbers and loads of people get pg with high FSH/low AMH.

Hello all. Having a bit of a 'moment' here. Got my day 1-3 blood test results back, and my GP ran through them on the phone and said that they were all normal. However, on reviewing them on paper today, I see that my FSH is 13.7, which I have now discovered is definitely at the wrong end of the 'normal' scale, although prolactin and LH are good. It seems that my body is working pretty hard to pop out those little eggs... eek! Is there anything I can do to help things along?

Knicky - that's good re' your test results, surely? My FSH was slightly elevated at 9.5 but I don't think that's too bad really. I was just pleased I had 11 follicles brewing in the ovaries! Did you get your AMH tested?

I wonder if your SA will reveal much? I think you should draw hope from the fact that you have had two BFPs though I don't doubt the M/C was v upsetting. We have had nada on the BFP front and that's after at least 14-odd cycles TTC. Q worrying though now the poor SA has made a bit of sense of it. I daren't ask DP to test again because bad news would be too demoralising, and good news means he might pick up his bad habits again

They do very nice slipper-socks in Estonia. And lovely countryside apparently...

FF I know Lepe Beach well. Thought I saw you waving love to all you glamorous ladies X

Errrr...two years maternity leave WITH pay??? Definitely mentioning this to DH when I get home. I LOVE the sound of that. It's worth forgiving Estonia for any songs they have given us through Eurovision (though to be fair the UK entry isn't much better usually...and with Engelbert Humperdink as our hot UK favourite this year, have a feeling it's not going to get better any time soon....)

bean the original line up of Bananarama was always cool....not so sure about when they got that new lady in though. Your DS can escape through the dog flap?! Love it. Yet another thing to keep an eye on for you then! My FSH all looks fine apparently - so only a matter of time hopefully (though still need DH to get his SA soon).

Fireflies - no nooky til the autumn?! Crikey moses. I would like to move to Estonia for a number of reasons, but now have one more!

Italian - thinking of you; sounds upsetting. Keep up the good work and stay as positive as possible. xxx

Hopeful - I am with you on 'waning' enthusiasm. But I'm trying to turn it into 'more interested in other stuff and less obsessed with TTC'. (Not really working, but the attempt should be merited! ) I have decided not to buy any more supplements and the next round of acupuncture I buy will be the last. It's down to DP now, hoping that his wrigglers get more wriggly and that this summer is warm and sexy and conducive to lots of BFPs for everyone.

Knicky - how dare you suggest that Bananarama aren't cool any more?! Taking it that your fsh is good etc? Kind of annoying then that this baby2 isn't here yet, but good because it will be soon? I hope that statement summarises how you feel.

DS has discovered he can escape through the dog flap. Oh the fun begins!

Italian hope you're ok? The breakthrough bleed sounds grim. You haven't had the embies transferred yet, have you? Sending up more prayers for you. xx

Gum have you considered querying the bill with them, either on the grounds that you weren't informed of the charges properly prior to them carrying out the investigations, or on the basis that they weren't carried out satisfactorily, and bearing in mind the distress and severe inconvenience it caused you, they need to either drop the bill completely, or drastically reduce it? W(*&%$s! It's always worth a go. I just got some money knocked off a bill when I phoned up and said they were having a laugh at how much interest they'd added on to it. They agreed and dropped 2/3rds of it. ;-)

Blimey. Only 12 weeks mat pay? That's making the UK seem positively generous these days. I was surprised to hear my Dutch friends only get 16 weeks. I'd always thought it was more when I lived there. We all need to move to Estonia. My friend who lives there has been on maternity leave for 2 years with pay, and as she's just had more in that time (twins), her paid leave gets extended.....Wow!!

Please don't rub it in that you're getting any action in the bedroom. Now DH is back at work his mind is entirely on his job. I guess I might have to rule any nooky out until the autumn now. Where's the, err, twiddling thumbs emoticon??!!

Glad I went for that lovely walk along the beach yesterday. Is dismal today. No chasing Gary across the shingle today!!

Hugs and waves to all the lovely 40 somethings. xx

Italian - sorry to hear about that bleeding. I do hope your frosties are ready to be babies! Let us know how the transfer goes.

Latestarter, will you be having another ultrasound soon?

Yes, fireflies it really did feel shitty when I got that bill after they'd buggered up the testing.(For those who don't know the story - I had an ERPC after my second miscarriage and asked for testing, to see if we could find out why it happened. Apparently the hospital didn't deal with the remains correctly, so the lab couldn't test for abnormalities. Then they said, we could try some other way, which they did, but although they could tell me it wasn't trisomy 13,18 or downs, they couldn't test for anything else, so it could have been something or nothing. Very frustrating, as they also told me they couldn't test the remains after my first miscarriage, 6 months earlier, because the hospital hadn't dealt with the remains properly, but 6 months later we found they had done the testing and had sent it the hospital instead of my doctor. It was a horrible merry-go-round. In the end I learnt that our baby had trisomy 13 -with the 1st miscarriage, but 2nd miscarriage results were inconclusive)

I had no idea they'd charge that much. I don't think I'll pay it right away, I'll wait until I get the "final notice". Normally, medicare covers test costs, but I think for this one it is all out of pocket,and I doubt that my private insurance will help, but I'll contact our insurer to find out. Things are still quite tight in the Gum household, so I don't need a bill like that right now.

I think it might be fertile time soon, at the end of this week, but my enthusiasm is waning. Just really tired of ttc.And also worried about finances, and how on earth I could afford to have maternity leave again - as we only get 12 weeks pay.

I don't think it'll stop me from having SWI though...

fireflies at the girls smelling of impulse on the shingle beach, think it would have been me once, no doubt following round a bloke called Gary who smelt of kouros wearing a pair of levi 501s. Sounds like things haven't moved on that much! (though I dare say listening to Aha and Bananarama isn't cool anymore....if it ever was.....)
Italian, it's no wonder you're emotional. Am willing you on to have a successful transfer this month. Many positive vibes are winging your way.
bean test results fine so far. Progesterone done last Friday. Off to GP next week for results and next steps (if there are any). Hope your DP has a lovely birthday.

Miaalexandersmummy that is great news, yes, I think that may be a nice sign. All the best

HUGS to everyone.

I had massive breakthrough bleeding like a big period, sorry tmi, and I have been feeling very emotional! And knackered, but the end is in sight and it will be this month. Just hoping now that at least one of the frosty snowflakes has made it through.

Hugs to all. And chocolate boobs as we say on the assisted conception thread.

Evening my lovelies!

Really interesting to read about your experiences of acupuncture Tina and Blackcats.
Tina ? keeping my fingers crossed for your IUI #2.
Wow Latestarter! Two sacs?.!! Keep us posted!
Bean see your bath dilemma has been answered thoroughly. Somewhat aside from this, I have heard that womb-warming (often part of Chinese medicine) should definitely be avoid post OV though. Sounds from what Gum says you?ll be fine TTC with prolapse. I remember reading on here about a cup that you use after sex to keep sperm in the right place (though sounds like you don?t need it). Can?t remember who it was nor the name of the thing. Diege, Hippy, Gum - ring any bells with you?
Congrats Mary for making it to week 20 and great to hear all is ok. Hope you feel you can relax now and enjoy your pregnancy. Loving your Barbie/sanitary towel stories.

Re booze, agree with others that you should avoid while TTC and defo in first Trimester. I am amazed that The Lister say you?re fine drinking while doing IVF. I think that was bad advice and I really regret taking it.

Hi Italian - sending up some more prayers for you.
Diege advance apologies for Friday night bistro as DH and I will actually be out for the evening.
Gum that bill is pretty mean after the shoddy way they dealt with those investigations.
MiasMummy quasar sounds great fun. I fancy a go at that. Good news that you have your initial consultation now. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you that you won?t need it. How were the bloods?
Knicky your weekend away sounds lovely. Keeping my fingers crossed for you that you get a surprise BFP.

Visiting folks for a day or two and found beautiful sunshine too gorgeous to resist, so skived off domestic duties and went for a walk this avo. Lots of lads out in shorts and teen girlies in their best pastels, smothered in Impulse and struggling on the shingle in strappy sandals!! Hippy did you see me waving at you across the water from Lepe beach?

Love and hugs to all lurkers and everyone else. FF xx

Ah Knicky - the yearning is a killer especially when your friends are having babies. Poor you. When do you get your test results? I hope you get an ironic BFP this month anyway. We are gearing up to ov week here. And DP's birthday. Would be nice if it all fell into place... xxx

Miaalexandrasmummy qasar sounds fun and good to hear the ladies did so well. I think it's a very good sign the consultant appointment is on the same day as your anniversary. I do hope that it goes well.
diege so sorry I missed the snug. Was away at the weekend near the South Downs and had no signal for most of the time (unless I stood at the back of the garden with my phone held in the air...) Well done on that weight loss.
bean how are you doing? I don't know much about prolapses but hopefuls answer sounds good. As for baths, I'm more of a shower girl. I'm sure it can't make a huge difference? That said, possibly worth avoiding at crucial times in the month (I'm not advocating not washing just no hot hour long baths!)
marytheresa love the church sanitory towel story!
latestarter lovely to hear about the scan. Sounds like it's all going to plan. Possibly 2 sacs?? Wow - bet you weren't expecting that! Keeping my fingers crossed that things keep going smoothly.
hopeful am the same. I'd have to find out the sex too! I'm too nosey to wait. So sorry to hear of that bill coming through the door. $400 is such a lot of money. Did they lose the results? If so, surely they should pay?

I'm fine had a lovely weekend away, just me and DD (hubby working....) AF due next weekend. 99% sure I'm not going to see a BFP. Have already asked DH to ask for leave for our next most crucial time. Will keep my fingers crossed it gets agreed.
Another friend had her second child at the end of last week, felt a lump come to my throat when I saw the picture of her new DD. She's beautiful. I just so wish I could get that BFP. Very happy for her, but that yearning doesn't seem to be going away. Hopefully next month will be my month. Lots of love to all XX

marytheresa I loved your stories about the church... But so sorry to hear about your friend. Your concerns are understandable. Pregnancy is obviously a natural process, but in the end, every baby truly is a miracle.

latestarter wow, what a surprise! And yes, I have lived in the UK for the past 12 years.

diege missed the cafe again, but roast chicken sounded delicious - we went out with friends to play quasar (laser tag) which was surprisingly fun. And we ladies only needed one more game to beat the guys...

Hello to our lovely lurking lady, italian and all the other peeps here.

News from me - we have heard about the date of our first consultant appointment. It's on our anniversary, so hoping this is an auspicious day. I get my day 1-3 blood test results tomorrow, so hope they say good things.

Hi Ladies

Thanks for all your great replies. Latestarter2009, thanks for putting my moan about the people on fb etc in perspective. Your are so right, they do have a right to be happy, and to be spared the worry etc, as I wouldn't wish the worry on anyone. I never thought about that way before.

Italian - I go to a Catholic church, your right about smoking a pub. I remember my parents having parties in the house, and there would be a film of smoke in the room once everyone went home. How things have changed....for the better of course

hopefulgum - I really hope you do too!

Love to all you great ladies.

P.S. Very unhappy to find a big fat bill in the post, for $400, for the testing they did on the baby after my miscarriage. These are the tests they did last July - and lost the results of, then had to do them again...And I have to pay that much. I'm really peeved, but I guess I'll have to pay.

Latestarter -I'm glad you could see the sack in your ultrasound, at your stage, that's a good sign. Wow! about the possibility of two.Very exciting.

bean - I have a prolapse and have had three pregnancies with it, so I don't think it interfered with conception.

Well done deige on the weight loss. I've been steadily losing on the Paleo, though on Friday I got on the scales, and after a particularly good week with the exercise and eating, I had put on a kilo!Argh!I was not impressed. Then I popped back on yesterday morning and had actually lost it and a bit more - in a day- how bizarre! As long I keep losing rather that putting on,I'll be happy. I worry about the encroaching menopause, and how difficult it is to lose weight once there, so I feel I need to sort it out now.I don't want to be an obese elderly person, as it looks like that would complicate and make life hard.

Marytheresa- I can't believe you are half way through. I'm sure your worry is perfectly natural. I do recall having many,many anxious moments with my DS's pregnancy. We had a tests at 12 weeks that scared us terribly - suggesting a high chance of trisomy 13/18. Then we went in for an amnio, but whilst having an ultrasound could see that the baby looked fine, so didn't do the amnio. However, I still worried until he was born. I wish I had worried less and enjoyed the pregnancy more, but I was 41 at the time and felt hyper aware of the odds against us. Instead I should have looked at the odds for us, IYKWIM.

I don't think I could resist finding out the sex of the baby. I just love finding out, then doing a spot of shopping especially for the little one.

I do hope I get one more chance to do so.

Sorry Late I meant "...try not to get too carried away either way, if all is fine with one, you don?t want to be disappointed it's NOT two but if it is two you don?t want to feel too overwhelmed..." If you see what I mean.

Marytheresa I meant BIG hugs not bug hugs!!!

latestarter wow, amazing news, just try and hang onto the fact you of what you saw, try not to get too carried away either way, if all is fine with one, you don?t want to be disappointed with two but if it is two you don?t want to feel too overwhelmed (I would imagine) so if at all possible try not to rev your engines in neutral as you can?t go anywhere just yet! Just eat sensibly, get lots of rest and wait, impossible I am sure but we are all here willing you on!!

Oh dear my lurking and not positing is not working too well, I keep wanting to say hi!!

Marytheresa I am so sorry to hear about your friend and about your brother. Bug hugs to you and to your friend. Please try not to worry about scan, it will all go well, I feel very confident for you. I LOVED you Barbie story! What type of church do you go to? I loved the idea of your child waving your sanitary towel like Chamberlain?s letter! I once nearly offered round a box of tampons instead of cigarettes in the pub! How weird, that was probably about 25 years ago, when I smoked and when you could smoke in a pub!

Hippy nice to hear from you.

Hugs to Blackcatdancing, Hopefulgum,Tina, lovely jolls, bean, Diege and all you fab people.

Late - I did drink the odd tipple when I was pg with DS, but I think after this long time TTC (and giving up alcohol all together for TTC) I wouldn't want to risk it during pg - and I will be 3 years older of course, if I ever get pg again.

The advice from the consultant re prolapse - apart from "think of it as wear and tear" (thanks for that) - was it would make no difference whatsoever to conception as long as sex is comfortable (it's fine); but I think I just wanted to hear a positive story from someone here. Prolapse is very common and a quick tuck would fix it but I couldn't have a natural birth if I did go on to get pg after and as I had a homebirth last time I would want to do the same.

Good luck with the next few weeks and have a lovely relaxing time with sparkling apple juice.

And mary - that does sound traumatic for your friend and totally understand that you must be anxious too. Best of luck for your next scan - that's all we can say for now. xxxx

I'm a bit crap at making the bistro and it looks like you were on your own last night diege :(. Your chicken dinner sounded really nice and congrats on the weight loss.

jollster, you're right it is such a non-exact science this measuring business and blood levels, I'm actually feeling alright about it and if I'm honest, I feel like it is going to be ok and I'm having twins...can anyone else be absolutely convinced of one thing one minute and then just as convinced of the opposite five minutes later?

bean you're also right, drinking not such a good idea, but sometimes you just want to chill with one.....being good so far :). Sorry don't know anything about prolapse, but it kind of makes sense that it could hinder optimal ttcing? As to baths, I've heard both good and bad, I think maybe as long as it's not scalding hot and you hang around for too long it's ok?

congrats marytheresa on 20 weeks, I can totally understand that you are feeling anxious about your upcoming scan and concerned for your friend. Fingers crossed that you will be able to relax a bit in a couple of weeks. As to other people taking pregnancy for granted, I have also wondered about that before, but then I figured good luck to them. For the great majority of people, getting and staying pregnant with no problems is what they will experience, so if they are spared the worry and the knowledge of just how many things can wrong, that's probably a good thing. I could do without the amount of fertility, conception, gestation etc etc knowledge I have seem to have accumulated .

happy sunday everyone

Hiya

Thanks Curly for the new thread!

Just me. Half way there now 20 weeks. Not due til get my next scan for two weeks, really want to get it done and dusted. Just heard that a dear friend at work (she works in different dept) who just had her 20 wk scan got the news that her baby girl has hydrocephaly and Spina Bifida. She is devasted but knows that there is a broad spectrum of symptoms which could present themselves, and so is being positive. It sounds really selfish of me, but the news really affected me and I can't stop thinking about her, I say selfish as I can't help thinking that the same could happen to me and I am really worried, when I should really not worry about this stuff when it has not even happened yet. She is an angel of a soul, always doing stuff for chartiy etc. She is only 32 and this is here first baby. My brother had the same condition and he was my mum's first child too. He was a much loved member of the family but passed away when he was 16.

I think the reason I'm being like this, is because I kind of know what she is going through, but ours had a more positive ending. For a whole month after our 12 week scan we weren't sure if our baby had Downs or not (we had an inconclusive CVS which happens in 1/200 CVS analysis. In the end, he didn't have any symtoms of Downs but I faced the horrible situation of feeling lost and confused and not knowing what to do.

Sorry for this being a bit of a sad post. But it astounds me how people take stuff like pregnancy for granted and that it is all going to go smoothly etc. I am referring to the people who hand out their twelve weeks scans round at parties and on facebook etc. I know some of you may disagree but that's fine.

On a lighter note, I really want to know the sex but my hubby doesn't. I don't know if I could keep it a secret, but if I did find out, I think I would feel guilty too. This will be our 3rd baby, we have a DD and a DS.Took DS to church last Sunday, he put his sister's (and by proxy his) Barbie doll in his buggy (he is 2.5). When we got there he took her from the buggy and we sat down. Quite soon a lady sat in front of us - you would not believe this, but she was a dead ringer for Barbie herself!! So DS proceeded to hold up Barbie up to the back of her head to compare their hair, and shout 'Barbie hair, Barbie hair'. The man behing me burst out laughing and I had to try to supress mine. It wasn't as bad as the time DD took out my Always sanitary towel from my bag at Church and waved it about like Chamberlain and his letter from Hitler in front of the whole congregation.

Lots of love and baby luck to everyone. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello all

Been reading your news and hoping that Latestarter is ok - but it seems good to me that the sac is there, possibly two, and keep positive. Maybe don't drink if you can avoid it!

Slightly personal question from me - sorry if TMI - I was wondering if anyone here who has had a DC suffered with any prolapse? I am mildly prolapsed after DS 2 years ago, but can just about manage to use tampons. Does anyone have reassurance to offer about TTC with mild prolapse? We manage to have sex fine, but sometimes I do wonder if the sperm is getting anywhere near my cervix... .... Perhaps there are better positions for this?!

And was it someone on here who advised against having baths while TTC? I do enjoy the occasional bath with my LO but have tried to stick to showers just in case it's playing havoc with body temperature around ov...

Sorry, slightly paranoid questions from me! I'm sure I had lots of baths throughout conception/pregnancy last time round and it was a wonderful luxury!

Lots of love to everyone and thanks for the St David's day prayers, Italian - as a Welshy I feel particularly chuffed!

xxx

Latestarter I agree, there are positives to take from the scan. They have seen a sack (or 2, eek!) and while it might be measuring on the small side things are notorioulsy difficult to see/measure properly/draw conclusions from at this stage. I have everything crossed for youy for your next scan xxx
Right, I think we all need some decent snug bistro grub. I have lost 4 pounds this week on SW so need to put it back on, so am having a roast chicken dinner with cripsy roasties, lots of gravy, and minimal veg. Rhubarb crumble and custard to follow and 3 cream eggs to finish (don't ask). Orders ready to be taken!