Fantastic 40+ thread - part 6

beangrower motility issues i presume means they aren't fast swimmers??
from my reading the best time to get pregnant is having sex day before ovulation, i'd want to have sex day of ov also- for various reasons- but mostly because its difficult to pinpoint exactly when you ovulated- even when temping you only do temps once a day so ovulation could have occurred just after your last temp or a few hours before this one- i'm waffling... anyway i've also read that sperm needs to undergo process of capaciation, someone on MN said that can take hours so possibly sperm released on ovulation day won't have enough time? again its down to when the egg gets released and exact time you have sex. I'd personally do it both days to be certain but i'm very, very far from being an expert and have never spoken to anyone professionally yet about TTC. Maybe someone else can help??

www.embryology.ch/anglais/dbefruchtung/weg03.html#anchaut

welcome maisy i'd also recommend trying fertility friend. Very cheap way to gather some info , you just need a basal body thermometer from amazon (cheaper than chemist) and you're away. Getting a positive on a regular OPKs wont guarantee you ovulate, it just says you have a surge of LH, you can surge and not ovulate. temp rise is a good indicator that OV occured and should also give an indication of how long progesterone stays up. OPKs dont work for evryone, many women on MN have reported never getting a positive.

Hello Maisie - nice to meet you. It's exciting you're trying and that you had a good AMH result as well as a successful reversal. Always hard when women close to you announce pregnancies, so understand how you feel.

Not sure on how to advise you re' ovulation though you could consider temping so you know that you are getting a temp rise to confirm ov and it's a lot cheaper the CB OPKs. Fertility Friends website teaches you all about temping for free once you've registered and you get to input temps daily and they make a chart for you - all q easy. I don't do it myself as I have a 2yo and some odd waking times....

Try to stay positive. You might consider acupuncture to help regulate your cycle but the needles aren't for everyone.

Good luck and pop in MN for support and good vibes. x

Good afternoon all, is it OK to join this really interesting thread and pick your brains?

I'm 42 (43 in Nov) and TTC my first with DH. I came of the CP in August 2010 and DH had a vasectomy reversal last June and has been tested since and all seems ok with the 'swimmers'.

I have been using the Clear Blue Digital OPK for 2 months now and have not had even one smiley face (used all 20 tests each time). My GP did four blood tests last year to check on ovulation but due to my shockingly irregular periods (cycles range from 30 to 40 days) the tests didn't show anything. I did, however, have an encouraging AMH test (I'm afraid I can't remember the number now) and an Ultrasound scan indicated that everything looked heatlhy. So, how long should I wait before going back to see my GP?

In my heart of hearts, I don't think I'm ovulating at all, if I ever have! I've had IBS for years and the majority of my contraceptive pills must have passed through me within minutes (sorry TMI), but I've never had a BFP.

My two best friends (aged 38 & 39) are now both pregnant for the first time, so feeling a bit sad at the moment.

Thanks for reading. You all sound wonderful

Lucky so sorry to hear of your losses. Hope you are looking after yourself and wishing you every good opportunity for a little baby in the future. Hopefully your name will come true. Welcome.

Ah sweet - your DS is still at that terribly cute age. Mine is a real toddler now. (Time for potty training this summer methinks.)

My DP's semen analysis was v bad in January. He gave up booze as a result and has had weekly acupuncture ever since. We are due to retest. I'll be interested to see if anything has improved. Any ideas as to why your DH's results were so much better this time around? It seems v hit and miss, though my DP did have a nasty accident to the crown jewels when he was 18... but it didn't stop us conceiving our DS second cycle of living together in 2009, without even a blink at fertility advice/ov tests and all that jazz!

Since we found out about the SA I've been advised to hold off sex for at least a week until bang on ovulation if there are motility issues. Will try this in earnest in May - I think we hit the day before ov this month so not sure if that counts! Did you ever read anything about this?

I'm so sorry about your twins, but I think it's a really positive decision to try naturally and I wish you the best of luck. It's good to keep your BMI down and take supplements but I think relaxing and feeling happy is important too. Let me know what you think of the Duo Fertility Monitor. We use CBFM.

I've been taking DHEA during the ovulatory phase since January. Not sure if it will help or not. A few here took it all month for quite a long time. I was anxious about taking hormones but can't really say I've had any side effects bar the odd spot.

See you about and stay positive! xxx

Hi Beangrower, thanks for the welcome and my DS was borrn November 2010 so only 9 months younger than your little one.
I think if there is a defined issue then intervention can be a good call. My tests all came back as good for my age but the issue was with DH's sperm motility first time around. This time the clinic told us his sperm had improved so much we didn't need ICSI and could go for IVF but we went for ICSI anyway. This has given me the hope though that trying naturally might get a result for us this time if his sperm is better.
We used BCRM in Bristol and first time around they were very good, you had a dedicated nurse and this helped. Not so impressed this time, you see whoever is available and that created issues with consistency, I felt I was constantly acting as the information bridge between appointments. I had real trouble down-regging (the first part of treatment and so ended up doing this for nearly 7 weeks when it should be nearer 2-3 weeks and I just couldn't get any insight as to why this was. We do have a follow up on the 1st June so hopefully they will inspire a bit of confidence in me to stay with them if we do another assisted route. I probably sound a bit harsh seeing as we have a DS and got a BFP this time too! They get very good results overall and my gut feel is that they are fine for the more minor fertility issues but for complex stuff I know most ladies end up going to some of the more well known clinics such as Lister or ARGC in London.
I am just embarking on a bit of a weight loss campaign, I had accupuncture through my cycles and will continue with this. I've just brought a Duo Fertility Monitor and it is coming next week. I hesitated because I thought it was expensive but then we've just spent £6,000 on this cycle and so if it saves us doing another it will seem a bargain! I am toying with taking DHEA so will no doubt be picking the brains or others and sifting through the old threads for insights/info.

thanks again for the welcome and good luck
xx

Hi lucky - lovely to meet you though sorry to hear of your recent trauma; thanks goodness for your DS. I have a DS too - conceived naturally when I was 37 and all very straight forward; born at home in February 2010. We are trying naturally but have discovered DP has low motility sperm (I'm ok for my age).... Beginning to wonder if we should go for ICSI though we always said we would try to avoid intervention. How did you find your clinic? Did they treat you well? Please don't answer it if is in any way upsetting.

Wishing you the very best of luck as/when you start TTC again. Are you trying acupuncture or anything similar? xxx

Hi everyone, I wonder if it's ok to join you all?
I have been lurking and reading for some time and would really like to have the opportunity to post/talk over the coming months.
I am 42, we conceived our DS via ICSI and I gave birth at the end of 2010 when I was 41. He is 17 months now and I know I have been incredibly lucky. We started trying for another baby when he was 6 months old, first on our own in the hope we'd get a natural BFP and then back to the clinic. We got a BFP in February and were told we were expecting twins....the shock and elation where short lived as we lost the hb on one at 7 weeks and the 2nd at 9 weeks. I've just had an ERPC and I am certainly not ready to jump on the assisted route again so DH and I have said we will try naturally (well, with a few boosts!) until the Autumn.

I find reading about your journeys extremely helpful and in some cases humbling and so I hope I can add to the thread as we all try to achieve our dreams
x

So as not to crowd the thread with my name whimsy, if anyone would like to comment on my name choices. Please pop to the name thread at

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/baby_names/1452532-What-do-you-think-of-my-name-choices?watched=1

Thank you.

OK, Ladies, I know this is a bit weird but as I won't be getting a BFP anytime and if we have a new child they will come with

a name (which I hope will be music to our ears - in time), I thought I'd share my top names with you all. To inspire any of

the pregnant ladies and just for a little whimsy!

Here is my top 10 girls names:

Evelyn
Cassia
Merin
Cadence
Merab
Hope
Camille
Claudia
Shelby
Rosealba

Having never had a son I can't imagine having a boy and I struggled to find even a few boys names I really liked, so here is

my top 7 boys names:

Thomas
Jonah
Nehemiah
Luke

Elijah
Joshua
Jude

Welcome kiwibabe I am sure you will find support on here.

Thank you Knicky, lovely words.

Misalexandersmummy so pleased you had your GP appointment instead of clinic one,. Have everything crossed for you my dear. God Bless.

Blackcatsdancing really hope all will be OK with the smear.

Hairy you are inspiraing, you are a wonderful person to hear about.

Hugs to hippy, Hopefulgum, Diege, Jolly and all.

Well ? Bunnygate! I was dreading telling my DD that I had eaten the bunny's ears! I had to have a heart monitor fitted today just to see what is happening with these palpitations. When I picked DD up she was quite sad about the fact I needed the monitor and was a bit worried, I did put her mind at rest. So when I told her I had eaten the bunny ears, she was actually OK about it and gave me the rest of the bunny?s head!

I'm a bit worried about my Mum, she has been ill for a while, if you are a pray-er, please do shoot up an arrow prayer for her to be well!

I have just been posting on another thread about wholeness, because I'm feeling very peaceful now that our fertility treatment has come to an end. Someone kindly posted this link. It is very moving. Just wanted to share it with you.

www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Tl58qufXfYk#!

Thank you blackcats it's nice to be thought of as inspiring. I think it's really important to share our positive stories to help those still going through difficulties, as I was inspired by so many on this board through my hard times.

also i had a smear test done today, its been almost 3 years since the last- will be 3 years in June. I've had treatment twice before- with a 10 year gap between them and i hate waiting 3 years even though they say i'm back to the normal recall and there is nothing to worry about , i'd feel far safer being done annually. Anyway as i'm still hopeful for getting a BFP I jumped at chance to be tested this month whilst in limbo - I literally phoned and made appointment within minutes of opening the letter . I know i'm not quite 3 months post ERPC but didn't want to get a BFP and then have to postpone smear for another year. Nurse did say 'any chance you are pregnant?' at 4 DPO i had to risk it as the implications of a problem silently growing are even worse.

x post and i know of hairy's inspiring success!

today I am 4 or 5 DPO so testing next week.

kiwibabe i turned 44 mid february (i'm regressing to a child re my birthday, months and weeks seem to matter now). I got pregnant very easily (2nd month) back in November but had a MMC. Body really only getting back to normal this cycle ( my 3rd post erpc). Thanks Beangrower it is always really good to hear success stories. My midwife said there are lots of mums in my area having babies in their 40s, some older than me. I didn't ask if they were natural conceptions. I assume for many they must be as assisted conception is unaffordable for many ( me included) . Just found out Jack White's mum was 45 when she had him. Natural i assume as he was the 10th child!
miasmummy hang in there , i can imagine how stressful it must be. FWIW i've been told that symptoms really count for diddly. However i guess at least they are proof that something is there and happening.

The year before she was born.

Hi kiwi just wanted to tell you I'm 44 and holding my lovely (naturally conceived) 12 week old daughter. I had 3 mc in the year she was born, but have gone on to have a lovely daughter.

Not 43 yet, but I have a friend living nearby who tried naturally for her first at 44, had one MC then six months later fell pg and now has an adorable 2yo DS born when she was 45. Plus lots of other examples of mums with toddlers and babies in their 40s.

Thankyou for your welcome, it feels better just to have said how I feel, and to know there are other people out there. I don't feel too old but don't know if I just need to let it go as not meant to be, that is way easier said than done. Every month I try to think if it doesn't happen I'll be fine and every month it gets worse when I realise I am not pregnant. Going to try the ovulation tests for another month, although have tried before, during and after positives before! Is anyone else around 43 and trying naturally

No symptoms here either MiaAlexandrasMummy . . .

kiwibabe welcome, this is the spot for voicing your uncertainties, as well as hope... lots of expertise here, if you want to ask further questions. I have learnt a tremendous amount from these ladies.

twirly and knicky thanks for asking how I am. I go silent when I worry, and I am feeling very paranoid and un-pg (only bouts of nausea and thirst), hence not being on here much. Went to GP today to get myself into the system, and have asked if I can be considered for consultant-led care, or at least, more intensive monitoring of some sort. He hadn't even heard of vasa previa, and asked if I meant placenta previa, and will ask the midwife to do a home visit to kick things off and discuss options. We have also booked a private scan in two weeks' time. My parents have offered us financial support if I wanted to go completely private (standard in Australia, as you have pregnancy care covered by health insurance), but as I don't understand that side of things at all, and if it would benefit me being outside of London, I don't know.

Just feeling so nervous, and have had to say to my family not to ask how I am every time we speak because of this. I am glad I told them, but their constant worry from afar doesn't help my state of mind. Today was supposed to be our first appointment with AGRC, but have obviously cancelled. I guess there is symmetry in having the GP appointment instead.

Doh. Very early MC was a year ago not a month. Sorry for the confusion.

Thanks so much for your lovely support.

HippyChick - may be time for me to reach for Agnus. Thanks.

Kiwibabe - yes, I've been finding it hard to voice how I feel, thank goodness for MN!

Thanks to everyone else who has posted responses, having spent many hours in this conception topic before dd Under another guise) I may not be a very prolific poster ... but will be reading and lurking with interest and affection.

Firstly, apologies to italian in being so late in this message. Having read your news this morning, wanted to send you hugs and re-iterate others messages from the weekend. Your messages are always so thoughtful and generous to others. You sound a wonderful Mum, and your DD and any potential adoptee will have the most amazing life with you. My friend who couldn't have children has just gone through the adoption process and now has two wonderful boys. Both of whom called her Mummy from the off. She is happier than I've ever seen. MummyofmissM said it far more eloquently in her post than I ever could when she said we must be wiling to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. A wonderful sentiment and so true. Thinking of you and sending you hugs - enjoy that glass of wine
xxxxx

kiwibabe welcome to the thread. I'm in a similar situation to you. Have a DD who is 2 and a half, and have been TTC for about 14 months. I've just turned 40, and the whole cycle of TTC is not getting any easier. I've had some initial blood tests and at present there's no explanation bar from my own conclusion that it's my age. I've had a chem p/g and a m/c in the past year, so have been able to get pg but not been able to stay pg.

jolls, lovely to hear things are going smoothly. I say wear those maternity clothes with pride!

retro, I agree with MAM that it may be your periods just trying to readjust again after the M/C? Mine were up the spout a bit after my m/cs....

MAM how are you doing?

No news from me particularly, just gearing myself up for another cycle. If I were to get pg this month it wouldn't be particularly great timing as DH will be working loads of additional shifts for the olympic period (starting June to September) just as I'd be going through the first trimester. With DD I had pretty bad morning sickness. Dealing with that, and a 2 and a half year old and with no support network worries me, but feel I can't hold off trying for a month as I don't have the luxury of time on my side .

Love to all others beangrower, hippy, angel, beattiebow, diege, pocket, blackcats and anyone else I've forgotton to namecheck.....xx

Hi I'm new and not sure if I am on the correct page, I basically just want to share my story, firstly I have a 2 year old so know how lucky i am already. I desperately would love another but turned 43 a few months ago. I had a miscarriage a year ago and have been trying every month since then, sometimes wonder if we tried to hard but its not easy to just let a month go hoping the timing is right. My periods are regular and I have a positive ov test every month, Its harder to deal with every month it doesn't happen but I just don't feel I can give up yet. We haven't had any testing as I know age is against me and other half not keen on that route. I just needed to say all this out loud, friends all two or three kids and don't understand.