Fantastic 40+ thread - part 6

Thank you everyone for all those lovely words and hugs, they are much needed, as I am still feeling very fragile today. A big 'wallop' of sadness has hit me, and all I want to do is cry. I miss my little red-head so much. I want this pg so much too, but I can't feel I have the right to get excited, it might be too much to bear...

Thank you clicking, a lovely post as always. Let's cross fingers for all of us this month xxx

Not naive knicky - just straight forward and optimistic, which is the best way to be if you can. I do hope you have a fun couple of nights with your DP now and that it leads to a lovely juicy BFP; good luck on the 2ww as well, horrible as it is. xxx

Hugs to miasmummy and angelgeorgie. There are times that it must feel like the enormity of your losses hit you like a ton of bricks and then some more. miasmummy thinking of you and willing you on through this pregnancy - it must be so unbelievably tough for you. I don't often pray, but praying that next week's scan brings good news xx

clicking agree about the surprise of secondary infertility has been tough given how easy it was also for us first time round. How naive was I??? Smiley face ov day today for me. Will see what this month brings and refuse to listen to any symptoms I think I have in a week or so's time.......it's all too easy to imagine things isn't it?

Sending love to those who have lost their LOs. Can't imagine the pain and just wish you the very best and deepest sympathy.

Italian - of course that makes sense - everyone would rather avoid assisted conception. I think I should have said that the frustration/surprise of secondary infertility has been magnified by the ease of conception first time round; just (stupidly) assumed we might squeeze one more in without problems. Just different to primary infertility but no more/less awful. Thanks for your encouragement. DP has agreed that we might have to try a private clinic after we get next SA results in early May. I haven't exactly mentioned the big old IVF (ICSI) words but we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

I am SO happy you got your DD - what a wonderful gift - and thank goodness for technologies that help us in our tough situations.

xxx

Thanks Gum xxx

Sending loads of love from down here,too, Miasmummy, and AngelGeorgie,I believe your little ones are with you all the time, but I know that's no consellation for not having them earthside(((HUGS)))

Miasmummy - hope you find the scan reassuring.

Dear Miaalexandrasmummy Can't believe you managed to summon the energy to do a days training on this anniversary, along with nausea and headaches. I hope you have been able to take some time to take it easy and remember your gorgeous little girl. A candle is burning here for her. Big hugs. xx

Beangrower I know we would all probably have liked to get pregnant naturally, IVF and ICSI etc is probably no one?s first choice, but if it helps you achieve your dreams then go for it. If it were not for IUI I am pretty sure I would not have my adorable DD.

Hugs to Hippy, Diege and Hopefulgum and co.

misalexandersmummy huge, huge hugs to you, you brave lady. I am sure you do not always want to be brave! You are a wonderful person, a wonderful mum, and I am thinking of you as you wait for this scan to see how your little one is, and as you remember your beautiful Mia Alexander. With lots of love to you and arrow prayers for a peaceful time, even amid the morning sickness and sadness.

Miasalexadersmummy xxxx hope you ve got through today. I ve had a crappy one 2 women at work have/are becoming grandmothers... It's so hard listening to their stories about worried they ve been but guess what all the babies are healthy & alive... Life really sucks at times. Had a big old cry tonight over my Georgie. Sending you big squishy hugs..... Xxx
Positive vibes for everyone else. Hope u re all well?? Xxxxx

MiaAlexandra'sMummy - I'm so sorry. Six months is absolutely nothing, my heart goes out to you. I really do wish that this all goes perfectly for you, take care x

Hippy runs in to give Miasmummy a big old hug. my heart goes out to you, my lovely. Six months is no time at all and you must still be enveloped in grief, shock, sadness and anger. I think of you often, keeping everything crossed for the little one who is quietly making its way in your womb - all the very best. one day at a time - for today you are pregnant.

Also sending good vibes to twirly - you too are preggers, Mrs.

Very excited about fireflies and lol - not long now ladies.

Much love to all the regulars - gum and italian especially because we have been on this thread for bleedin' ages waiting our turn patiently!!! (well maybe not so patiently XXX

Just a quick one from me, at my Olympic volunteer training as well as today being six months since Mia died... Just trying to keep it together. Much nausea throughout the day, as well as headaches here. We have booked a scan next week, as it will be 8 weeks. I have asked my family not to ask how I am, the pressure is simply too great.

twirly - clicking says wise words with try not to worry about lack of symptoms, there's a lot of women on MN who have pregnancies symptom free. We're here to hold your hand and willing you on to have a smooth pregnancy.

clickingtock - definitely wait for the warmer weather for the potty training - a far more sensible plan than mine! that said definitely be prepared with enough spare pants, socks, shoes, trousers and patience . We went cold turkey from Good Friday and stayed in the whole of Easter weekend (bar from a trip to a farm on Easter Sunday when I felt like I was going a bit stir crazy....) I put a wash on once or twice a day for the first 10 days and have sent DD to nursery with practically a large suitcase of spare clothes and shoes for the past 2 weeks. Peppa Pig pants from Sainsburys have been my saviour.

Twirly - try not to worry about symptoms. I didn't have a jot of MS or anything and had a very healthy 42wk pregnancy and homebirth at 38 so not exactly a spring chicken. I know it's hard not to feel anxious...

Lovely to see you Knicks - I reckon you'll be sorted by Dec - I really hope so. Enjoy this week - it sounds quite hopeful given that DH will be home! EOD is plenty I reckon! V impressed re potty. DS is keen but I'm not at all consistent. Waiting for warmer weather or chickening out!

Fireflies - thanks for the encouragement. It's hard isn't it but we need to keep the faith. Keep well in these last weeks.

MAM - let us know how you're doing.

Hi all - no news here. Still no symptoms, so not feeling too optimistic really.

MiaAlexandra'sMummy - how are things with you?

7 weeks, 4 days to go.... And Lol is not too far behind me. Thanks for asking Gum and Clicking.

Keep positive ladies. I never thought I'd get there at all, let alone naturally as have never been pregnant before and I have a blocked tube, so was told IVF was the best way forward, but the month after our last failed cycle, at 42, got our BFP.

Fertile, sticky vibes to all. FF xx

I feel like I've been away ages! Hello to the new ladies kiwi, maisie, homeaway and lucky

Been ridiculously busy at work so hence the absence. Have had hardly enough time to get a cuppa let alone do a bit of mumsnetting (honestly who do these employers think they are making me work in work time??!! )

All else going OK, potty training boot camp has been surprisingly successful with DD. A few poo in pants incidents but yesterday we had a breakthrough when DD actually ASKED to go for a wee wee. A very proud moment.

SWI week in the knicky household. DH on a course all week which means he's at home every night so no excuse and no need to ask for him to ask for annual leave this cycle round (the joys of a shiftworker...). That said, I suspect we won't DTD every night this week (haven't got the energy these days) - the aim is every other day and definitely on smiley face day and day after. I'll still be knackered doing that!! hopefulgum I've also heard it's useful for the chaps to ahem...keep the pipes flushed as it were so DH has said he'll make sure that things are....well.....ready to go......

clickingtock I'm still waiting for my DH to grab an opportunity for his SA test. His next day off is a week on Thursday so won't be able to do it till then. Very frustrating - would just like to know, after all my tests came back ok, whether the SA could highlight a problem there. I too feel like time is slipping away a wee bit. Me and DH have said that it's more than likely we'll give up trying if things haven't happened by Christmas 2012.

fireflies how are you doing? Not long now?

MAM how many weeks are you now? It's such a nerve wracking time in the best of circumstances so understandably you must be feeling very anxious. Every day at a time. Thinking of you.

Lots of love to everyone else xxx

Thanks Lucky - let's hold each others' hands here and hope we do both get lucky for 2013. The time thing is horrible. I'm 40.5 in early May (back to counting half years these days!) and it will coincide with us getting the second test results - I feel that we will be making some big decisions in May. Keep positive and good luck with your duofertility.

Wishing luck to all the early preggos as well as the TTCers here. And isn't Firelfies due soon?!

clickingtock
(love the name change by the way) So much of what you have written resonates with me....I too feel I have another baby in me but just feel so aware of time and 43 fast approaching. Like hopefulgum too, I would love a younger playmate for my DS - 2013 it is then!

MiaAlexandrasMummy hope all is ok and the early stage anxiety isn't too great.

Love to everyone x

[namechange from Beangrower] Hi Hopeful - yes I've heard that too. But we've been DTD every other day for around 16 cycles and it hasn't got us anywhere. This is a new approach and actually it feels more natural for us not to go at it EOD. Tbh - I have got to the point that I'm not sure what will work for us. DP is retesting SA this week and we'll see where we're at. I feel that I've still got another baby in me

Beangrower _ when we were ttc after a vasectomy reversal - so trying to get sperm numbers up,we were told to "keep the pipes flushed", probably to stop scar tissue,but also, to ejaculate every other day because this will increase numbers. So I think,even with motility issues,it's a good idea not to go too long without "cleaning the pipes". So, my Dh was on strict instructions to sort that out regularly if we didn't do the deed. I don't think anything is TMI on this thread, especially if it helps...

Kiwi - the simplest way to see if you have ovulated is to take your temperature every morning. The temperature rise after ovulation indicates that you have ovulated. I can't tell you how reassuring it has been to see the change in my chart and to know for sure (even when my doctor was telling me I wasn't)that I have been ovulating regularly.

Yep - some of us ladies in our forties will have babies. My son was born just 3 months before my 42nd birthday - and that was after vasectomy reversal. I think I'm still fertile,but I do know that I've got egg quality issues after having 2 miscarriages. That doesn't mean the next egg won't be perfect!My DH is in his early 50's, so his sperm quality may not be great either, but I'm sure he'll have a good swimmer or two in there.

Back to work today after our two week Easter break. It's "professional development" all day...yawn...at least I don't have to deal with naughty year eights.

Thanks Hopefulgum, I think I'll start temping just to get into the swing of things , no time like the present etc

kiwi - CBFM doesn't confirm ov'. It tests LH (and the pre-LH) hormone levels which trigger the ovary to release the egg - similar to more simple OP sticks (though they only look for LH). Keeping a chart of your temps or getting a progesterone test 7 days after estimated day of ov is the only way to confirm ov - this test is available on the NHS but I had to push hard to get mine checked.

I always get a positive around d12 too (odd d14 one to keep me on my toes). Then AF arrives around cd26/27. I am oving (had blood test to confirm and a scan). However, we aren't getting any eggs fertilized despite having a 2yo child conceived v quickly in 2009... My partner has sperm 'issues' - motility etc. Male fertility drops with age too (he's only 43 though...!) There are many factors that could be affecting TTC, not just ov.

DTD - this depends really. Would recommend at least every other day after period and up to ov but deffo aim to DTD on the day of + OPK and the following day if at all poss. We are holding off until + OPK day and the next day because of sperm prob...

Having a baby in your 40s is more of a lottery basically. Two women I know of anecdotally have managed to have 3 in their 40s. Other women aren't able to because of egg quality/lack of progesterone etc.

I hope you're a lucky one - and wish the same for everyone here.