Fantastic 40+ thread - part 6

Congratulaions to Beattie, new here so haven't followed you but lovely news.
Mixed day for me, af arrived on sunday and got through it without the usual two days of tears. In last two days have had 3 people ask when I am having the next one, while at the same time they were commenting on people in 40's being too old, today was the best though when woman actually said, I wanted another one but was to old being 40!! I was there with my two year old born when I was 41, desperately trying to have another now I am 43 and best part she then said but you still have plenty of time I suppose!! I am trying to turn it into a positive in she must not think I look my age but yeah didn't know whether to laugh or cry to be honest.

Yes blackcats - stay positive and you will get there. xx

clickingtock thanks for sharing that with me. it helps me to stay positive.

congrats beattie, sounds like you had a good birth and a lovely daughter. enjoy.

congratulations Beattie I'm thrilled for you :-)

gum good luck with your testing hope the sore 's continue!!

Many congratulations Beattie!!! Enjoy your beautiful baby girl - let us know her name when you have one!
Gum tut tut, you and your early testing . Fingers crossed for good news for you this month; I think the timing was good, no? Interesting what you say about the 10mth broodiness; I'll look out for that one
Still the house of sick here, though am in work as have appraisal at 2
Lots of good advice on here as always I see! Will try and pop in more regularly and keep up the cheerleading from the sidelines!

Congratulations Beattie - just wonderful news and what a good healthy weight she is. Well done! Enjoy these wonderful knackering early months. xxx

beattiebow what fabulous news!! Hooray for you and your baby girl. Thanks so much for coming back to share your wonderful story with us.

blackcats FSH does seem to be a minefield and unpredictable, but seemingly able to be influenced... Mine was high, maybe even 12 or 13, so I was very depressed - but then I got a bfp, so go figure!

hi all, quick update from me

baby girl born on Friday 11th May at 6.15pm - weight 8lb 6 oz. labour fine - frustrating as I had very irregular and weak contractions from around midnight on Thursday and thought it was the start of weeks of false labour. But baby born very quickly after contractions got going.

home on Saturday lunchtime to very smitten children. She is still nameless but gorgeous. worth every minute of the morning sickness, miscarriages and all the agonising on here and in rl. a positive story that it can happen after 40. I feel very lucky.

Thanks to you all for all of your support during the journey I took to get here, especially gum, hippy, italian diege jolls angel curly tank (oh blimely I'm going to miss people - but those who were there from the beginning with me and those who like me, had a horrible beginning to 2010) and thanks to everyone else I've met along the way. I don't think I got any more support from anyone irl.

P.S. took a test at 8 dpo, and it's negative. I know,I know,way toooooooo early to test!

I still have sore 's, and even felt a little nauseous this morning - probably just PMS, but I hope it's something more....

Tina, I never took 75mg. I started with 25mg and then worked up to 50mg. I didn't take it religiously this month - in fact was pretty lazy with most of the supplements I take.

So, I haven't taken the correct dose of 75mg,because I did react to 50mg -my skin - had more pimples, and also losing some hair. I don't think I'll take it again, because it's been months,and so far no BFP. I only took it before ovulation.

Lol - your post is very heartening - that if we can just endure,we may get our baby. I just don't know how long I want to be ttc. It does seem to deter a bit from other things. I suppose I could take a low key approach, but who can do that when they really want to have a baby?

Try 50mg and go up to 75mg if you feel ok. Start on CD1. x

thanks both, well I'm willing to give dhea a try, gum. and anyone else who has tried this could you give me an idea of what you consider the best dose to try to start off with? And at what point in your cycle do you start taking it? I have plenty of hair but I'd rather not lose any of it ;-)

thanks again

Hi Tina - no evidence re' DHEA, that's right, but no evidence that it doesn't help either so... I did take it for 11 days per cycle up to ov (using CBFM to know when to stop, iykwim) from mid January and got a bfp end of April. I noticed a few spots around my hairline but no other effects. However, our real problems were with my DP's SA and he had 3 months of acupuncture and no booze plus manvits etc, which is what really led to our bfp if you ask me. We tested him in Jan when he got only 4% rapid progressive swimmers, then again in April (just before BFP but after SWI) and he went up to 54% after all the improvements he'd made! So I have a feeling that I wouldn't have struggled to get pg without DHEA. I certainly fell pg instantly aged 37 when male fertility wasn't our issue for some reason or other. Who will ever know? There are so many variables. But lots of evidence here that the stats don't count for much and you can beat the odds. Good luck!!

Tina hi - it doesn't help that it's tipping down outside, does it? Monday's never seemed so grim.

I had the same as you - stressful job teaching which I loved but was beginning to find overwhelming. Also, my dp kept splitting from me as he was so sure he wanted more children and thought he ought to stop flogging a dead horse and find someone younger. You can imagine how I felt. My positive mindset after the follicle count DID help, I think. And I did start taking DHEA. When I took 50 mg my hair started to fall out - I think I only needed a mild dose. That's the trouble with buying DHEA online - you don't know how deficient you are until you try it. That said, no-one noticed my hair coming out except me. Good job I'd got lots of it!

I only took the DHEA pre-ovulation, btw. I think others on here have been prescribed it at 75mg doses and survived quite happily. I know Gum and Jolls or is it Curly have expert knowledge. I only took it for 2 months and I still can't tell you if it helped, but I can say that I would do it again in the same situation.

I emailed the nurse at the Zita West clinic (who had given me my AMH results and been frank but fair about my chances - 1.75% chance of bearing a live child) and told her my story so she could pass it on to others. She said that in her experience if you are prepared to 'hang in there' and endure MCs and disappointing months, there is a better chance than she had ever told me about. Hope this helps. Low AMH does not mean no eggs at all. Good news for all over 40!

ps waves to everyone else!

thanks lol your story sounds so similar to mine, our consultant suggested natural ivf too but as you say the odds are around the same as trying naturally so we also decided to carry on trying with the final aim in around 8-12 months of trying donor eggs if it still didn't work. Although I must have a lot of duff eggs there still have to be some that are ok, it's just catching them! Your example gives me hope we can do this ourselves still; I'm not out yet!
Can I ask if you did anything differently before you finally conceived? Or was it more of a mindset thing; that deciding you were going to try natural ivf/donor eggs made you relax more perhaps? I'm trying to relax but the job I'm doing at the moment makes it very hard; I'm unhappy here and unfortunately tend to stress out (especially on a Monday morning lol)

thanks also for your kind words clickingtock I spoke to the consultant about DHEA but she said there isn't a lot of evidence around to show it improves your chances, and then it's only really useful in conjunction with IVF. Have you tried it yourself?

blackcats - just read your post about your FSH. Mine was measured at 9.5 in December (I had just turned 40) and then I fell pregnant straight away in April after DP had given up drinking and had 12wks of acupuncture - as his rapid progressive figure was only 4%. When we retested (just after we had conceived but didn't know it) this figure had gone up to 54%!!! In other words, I believe that I would have been pregnant easily with this FSH figure if we hadn't had to improve DP's fertility... I think you should be fine.

Commiserations to Tina - it's not easy to be told you need to think of IVF. I just hope that you have some luck trying naturally - this is a brave decision. Have you tried DHEA to possibly boost your af count?

Sparkly - my DP didn't really want more than one either. I think you need to hold on to your vision and get through the bits that are hard for them by being sympathetic but unswerving in what you want. Sounds tough but they do come round like you say.

Good luck to everyone and waving and sending hugs. How are you lovely Knicky - I can't believe people keep being so unsubtle and thoughtless about your DC2. My only positive thought is that this is because it's going to happen soon and they know something you don't...

hi all, I've been a bit quiet but still trying to catch up on everyones stories having only been on here a few weeks. Sparkly welcome, sound similar to me in age, etc.For me the 2 week wait is over and not for me this month, instead of spending two days in tears read your posts and going to be positve for next month. Cycle is 28 day like clockwork, at 43 haven't done any tests as not going to do ivf etc so its just keep hoping that one month there will be one little egg left. I was late getting married and I am blessed with one little one the hardest thing is the what ifs, it was a very difficuly birth so it was about a year before i started trying seriously again and now I think what if we had tried a few months sooner was that our chance or what if we had got married 6 months earlier, sorry just rambling but know I can't think like that so feel if I put it down here then I can try and have positive thoughts.
Fingers crossed for everyone.

Hi all - I've been away at my mum's while the new boiler and radiators have been fitted (v messy) so am now cleaning up and catching up with all your news.

Italian I hope you have a really refreshing Sunday and feel the sermon was just WRITTEN for you. Don't you just love that when it happens? Big hug. ((()))

Gum and Miasmum totally agree with your wise words on stats.

Sparkly it sounds like you've been such a thoughtful partner to your DH. Don't think of yourself as being 'too late' - you're just a late starter! ps - shhh, don't tell anyone but I'm 46!

Twirly how are you? Any news? Am thinking of you. ((()))

Tina I had a low antrical follicle count (sp error possibility) but weirdly felt happy that I saw ANY follicles - 1 good one and 2 little ones. Having looked at my hideous AMH results and been told my chances were 'very poor' I felt that the result was brilliant. It gave me hope that I was producing 'something'. The clinic suggested I try natural IVF for a few cycles followed by considering donor eggs, and Italian was really helpful with website info, which buoyed me up. In reality, I only had enough money for one try at natural IVF and so DP and I decided that we would just try naturally as the odds of getting pregnant looked similar.

I should have written to Zita West and the fertility clinic to tell them I got pregnant naturally the next month as I am sure they only get the negative stats back and this skews information for the next people researching their chances. I hope this helps. It took 18 months, an MC and a couple of false alarms to get this little one - who's wriggling his size 7 feet like mad inside me as I type. Keep positive if you can.

BB I hope the silence means you are pushing purposefully and will let us know what happens! I'm on tenterhooks! Let us know how you are. V excited!

Shandy lovely to hear from you!!!! Breathre, in and out. Fancy an epidural yet? Thought so...keep us posted.

FF ditto. We're on the home stretch. 5 weeks and counting. Just need to get the house right and the nursery painted. Feeling very under pressure that I'm running out of time. Mine's transverse at the moment, but there's time to get the right way round. Is yours heading south already?

Right, everyone, it's a beautifully sunny day - let's put on the floral print and a bright smile. For today, it is sunny...

thank you miasmum for your wise words. It's time to be more pro-active and statistics are just that, statistics. I was just feeling a bit down with no real reason, unlike you and so many others on here.

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. SSx

It's Mother's Day in Australia, so Happy Mother's Day to all you mummies, mums to be and ttc future mums.

I plan to have a very relaxing day.

Any news of BB?

sparkly ah, yes. I think you can always find depressing stats on the Internet... But remember, they are just that. A set of information of particular group of people taken at a particular moment in time - often with no context. That is what can be misleading. The "average" woman does not exist. Yes, older women in general do have reduced levels of fertility. But there is plenty of evidence to say that older women today are having more children too. And there are pro-active, informed choices we can make about lifestyle and ttc which do improve those chances, even if there isn't a magic wand somewhere to make us all pg. We know this journey is challenging - and are here for each other. Hold tight to your dream. X

Thanks for the advice Mrs W and Shandy. I think I've got it now

p.s. DH didn't really want kids, but agreed to have one - he's an only child himself. So DD was planned but DH was depressed throughout the pregnancy, which was healthy but quite miserable. Which is why I didn't think he'd want to try for another. I think I've finished the all about me stuff for now, thanks ladies. Maybe it's just PMS kicking in?

Hi everyone,

tina very sorry your test results weren't good, but glad that you can see a way forward

I'm feeling a bit down at the moment, I'm pretty sure it's not my month this month, and I've just been reading a set of very depressing stats for my age and how quickly fertility plummets in your forties. I'm really scared I've left it too late and I've only got myself to blame. I got pg pretty quickly at 39, and I know I was lucky to do so. I put off talking to DH about trying for another for way too long because he didn't cope well when I was pg. He took to DD instantly though. But I didn't want to put him through that again, was convinced he'd wouldn't want to try again so put off talking to him. I was astonished when he agreed. I know it's only coming to the end of 3rd full cycle TTC, (we started mid-cycle so may well have missed ov then) and maybe I need to be more patient. I know it can happen, but at the moment I don't think it will for me.

ok, whinge over, I hope everyone is doing ok, especially the early pregnant ladies.

and italian, nickname was inspired by DDs lovely blue eyes :), thanks for asking